Summary :-
Dean was eleven when he was taken, John had searched everywhere for his son but was slowly beginning to lose hope after five years of him missing without a trace. But one night three men led John to a boy who he believes to be his son but the boy has no memory of his family or life before his kidnapping, but this doesn't stop John from believing.
Warnings: Graphic descriptions of violence, Rape/Non-con, underage, kidnapping, memory loss, hurt Dean, out of character Dean, rape aftermath, rape recovery, hurt/comfort, angst, and PTSD
Ever since Mary had died, John had made sure his boys knew of the monsters in the world, of the demons, ghost, vampires, and anything supernatural. He made sure his boys knew how to fight and take on these hideous creatures, so much so that he had forgotten to warn his boys of the monsters that were human, the ones that murder for the hell of it and prey on the innocent, it was one mistake that John had regretted every since the day his eldest boy had been kidnapped by one of those human monsters.
Dean had been eleven at the time, it had been nearing his twelfth birthday when it happened. It had been a normal day, Sam and Dean had woken up to go to school and John had been working on a case. It had been about two hours after school had ended when he got the call from Sam that Dean hadn't been there to pick him up after school and that he was nowhere to be found at the motel they were staying at. John knew that was unlike Dean, yeah the boy was stubborn and liked to be a little rebellious sometimes but when it came to Sammy, Dean didn't play around. He was protective of his brother and would never ditch him at school, so John knew something was wrong.
It had been a long night that night, John and Sam had frantically looked all over town for Dean, going to all they places they knew he liked or would most likely be at, but when they couldn't find him they decided it was time to file a missing persons report, but it didn't really do much good because they police couldn't find any leads on the kidnapping no matter how hard they tried, it was as if Dean vanished within thin air.
Then one night, about two months after Dean's kidnapping he had received a call is was from the police station asking him to come in to identify a body. John had been a wreck the whole way up there because he didn't know what he'd do if it was his boy, he couldn't lose another family member especially one of his children. Once John had gotten there he was lead to a cold bright room where a body laid beneath a white sheet, he could feel his heart pounding rapidly in his chest as the police pulled off the sheet only far enough for John to see his face and John let out a sigh of relief when he saw that the boy lying on the table wasn't his son but at the same time he had felt a ping of guilt because this was someones son lying here and h couldn't stop thinking about the fact it could have been Dean and still could be soon if he didn't hurry up and find him.
That call had taken place five years ago and still every night since that night he had sat by the phone awaiting another call but this time in hopes his boy was alive and found. But it never happened and John was beginning to lose faith that his son was still alive, but that didn't stop John for going out on his own and looking for him. Every demon he encountered he'd trap them and torture them for answers but it didn't do any good because each of them would claim they had nothing to do with the disappearance of his son and knew nothing about it. It pissed John off because he knew it had to be demons or some supernatural being because he refused to believe with how much training he had provided Dean throughout the years he'd let some human get the best of him.
Slowly he was becoming so unstable as the years drew on over the fact of losing his wife and then his eldest son and John couldn't bare the thought of losing Sam too. He didn't want Sam to go on cases with him, he didn't want him moving from state to state and living in sketchy motels alone while he worked on finding Dean so he had decided that it would be best to let Sam live with Bobby. That way Sam could stay in one school, make friends, get a better education, and John not having to worry about the sketchy locations he goes because Sam wouldn't be with him. Of course John went to visit as much as he could, but as the years went on and John's search for Dean had begun to take it's toll on him the visits became less and less because he couldn't face Sam, because nearly every visit consisted on Sam asking him questions and wondering if he was any closer to finding Dean, he couldn't bare the thought of having to tell him that his brother was most likely never coming home.
It was nearing the end of December now and Christmas was slowly creeping up, so John had decided he would soon set off to go visit Sam and Bobby since he had promised Sam he'd try to visit on Christmas and John really did want to keep his promise. It was six days before Christmas so he knew he had time to stop at the nearest bar for a couple of drinks before heading on his way to Bobby's.
The moment he had walked in, he was greeted with the festive decorations and he frowned remembering all the times he had missed Christmas when Dean was still around, remembering how Dean had tried so hard for them to have a good Christmas, that'd he'd find any kind of decorations he could and deck the motel room out, he felt a sting of guilt as he remembered calling Dean on most Christmas Eve's informing him that he wouldn't be making it. He wished he could go back in time and slap his past self for doing that to his children especially Dean, god knows all the crap he had pushed onto that boy at a young age and now regret was hitting him like a shovel to the face.
He soon sat down in an old warn out bar seat, he ordered himself a beer letting out an exhausted sigh.
"Long night?" The bartender questioned.
"You could say that." John hummed swallowing down a mouthful of beer, not really feeling like talking. He just wanted to knock a few back and try to relax before leaving to see Sam.
The bartender said nothing more as he walked off to continue attending to the other costumers and John was grateful, after a couple of beers he had decided to get up and play a game of pool with the three obnoxiously loud men who were already playing a game, it was something to help him keep his mind off everything plus it always felt great hustling people out of their money. "Mind if I play with you fellas?"
"Got money?" One of the scruffy men asked.
"Of course." John chuckled pulling out a wad of cash and placing it on the table, he soon grabbed a pool cue and the game begun.
It was an easy win, the three men he was playing against were to drunk to even focus on the game. About half an hour later John had come out six hundred dollars ahead, he was about to play another round because hustling these guys was fun but the guy who's name he learned was James spoke, "I should really get going."
"Can't you stay for one more round?" Caleb questioned.
"Nah the kid's waitin' for me, probably needs to be let out to piss by now."
John frowned at that, he said 'kid' didn't he? Then why did it sound so much like he was talking about a dog.
"He can wait… Let's play another round." Caleb insisted.
"Nah I should really get goin'"
"Hows about you let us play with him again, hmm?" This time it was Devin's turn to speak up and Caleb quickly agreed, John just stood there trying to grasp what these fuckers were talking about and if they were really talking about what John thinks their talking about.
"I miss the little cock sucker, miss the way his tight ass feels on my cock" Caleb hummed.
"We're willing to pay, so what do ya say?" Devin urged and James had finally agreed all three to drunk to realize they were in a public place talking about this shit, soon the three of them put down their cue's. "You coming to John?" Devin asked and John had quickly agreed before he could think about what he was doing, all he knew is there was some kid in this guys house that needed help and John was going to try his best to help him.
John had ended up suggesting he'd drive the four of them since the others had been to drunk to even unlock their car doors, he followed the directions James gave him as he tried his best to ignore the men talking about what they were going to do to this kid once they got there. The had soon arrived at their location, John was quickly growing uneasy as they stepped into the house and followed James down to the basement, waiting for James to fumble with the keys for what felt like forever before unlocking and opening the door. Once they had gotten down there John was hit with the smell of blood, sex, and urine. He had to stop himself from throwing up the smells were so strong, he didn't know how anybody could live like this.
Once they had fully reached the bottom of the stairs, John looked around the dim room and spotted a dirty mattress lying on the ground and on that mattress laid a young boy who looked terrified at the sight of the four men. "I'm home baby boy and I brought some friends with me to play." James cooed to the boy, John heart was pounding as he couldn't see the boys face all that well in the dimmed lights but he could tell the boy was shaking as James ordered him to get up. But the boy stayed laying on the mattress, just by the heavy breathing you could the child was on the verge of tears. "I said up on your feet!" James demanded more sternly this time and when the kid still refused to get up James grabbed a fistful of his air and dragging him off the mattress.
"NO NO PLEASE! LET ME GO! STOP PLEASE!" The child begun kicking and screaming, trying to pry James' hands off his hair.
"You know it's rude to keep your guest waiting, now be a good boy and stop fighting!" But the kid didn't let up, his kicks and screams worsened only to have James take his free hand and punch the boy square in the face and yet still manage to keep him up by his hair. He roughly grabbed his chin forcing the now sobbing boy to look at him, "you will do as you're told do you understand me?" There was a pause as James waited for the kid to answer, but he just hung by the roots of his hair sobbing and James had backhanded the boy "Do you understand?!" He repeated making the boy let out a shaky "yes sir!" In fear of being hit once more.
"Keep him like that James, he's at the perfect height right now to put those pretty little lips to work." Devin said.
"Please… P-please…" The kids voice broke as he was dragged as far as the chain on his ankle would let him go, John swallowed the lump in his throat especially when he saw what happened next.
"Come on whore, you know what to do…" James let go of the boy's hair and pushed him forward making him fall onto his knees with a hiss of pain, Devin was the first to step forward smirking down at the young boy as he undone his jeans making John burn with rage because what kind of sick fucks would do this to a child. He had quickly grabbed the gun he kept hidden in the back of his jeans and without hesitation he had shot both Devin and Caleb in the back of the head, feeling guilty as he heard the boy scream and move to cower back on the mattress. "You, up against the damn wall and do not fucking move!" John yelled as he waited until James was against the wall before making his way toward the kid.
"Are you a cop?!" James asked and John ignored him looking at the boy who was huddled in the corner of the mattress, his hands balled into fists at the hem of his long shirt and John could tell he was trying to pull it down to cover himself more and that's when he realized the kid was wearing nothing but a t-shirt.
"You okay kid?" John questioned as he bent down to check up on the boy but the boy tried move away not wanting to be anywhere near the man and John completely understood.
"I'm going to get you out of here okay? No ones going to hurt you anymore, can you tell me your name?" But he still didn't get a response so he had gently raised a hand and grabbed under the chin of the boys face, trying to ignore how badly he had flinched and brought it up so he could get a better look of him, at first glance he could see the boy was bleeding pretty badly from being punched in the face, blood was trickling down his nose and his lip was split and John could have sworn his heart stopped as he was fully able to see his face, there was no mistaking it that this was his son. "Dean…" He gasped and just by the expression on his face John knew he had gotten it right.
"Please don't hurt me mister. I'll do whatever you want… Just please don't hurt me." Dean pleaded with tears running down his face.
"I'm not going to hurt you kiddo… But I need you to close your eyes for me and I need you not to open them until I say so, okay?" John said not wanting Dean to see what he was about to do and Dean as scared as he was listened. With that John had stood up making his way over to the intoxicated man, "He's Dean Winchester isn't he? The boy who went missing five years ago?" John asked even though he practically knew, he just needed it confirmed. James had nodded, "So you're the bastard that took my boy away from me, that caused my family so much pain!" He yelled and without hesitation John had knocked James' head against the basement wall before throwing him to the ground, in those next moments John had found himself blacking out with pure rage and by the time he had come back to himself he was covered in blood and lying on top of James bloody, battered and dead body.
Quickly John had got up and rushed back over to Dean, only to pick the lock to the chain around his ankle. "I'm going to get you out of here, someplace safe." John promised as he gently pulled Dean up to lead him out the basement, but was stopped with Dean pleading for him to wait. John stopped looking down at the frightened kid, "Please… Please mister can I get my notebook…" Dean questioned as he had a feeling that they were never coming back here, especially now that James was dead. "Where's it at?" John asked and Dean pointed to his mattress and John had went over grabbing the notebook that laid beneath the pillow.
Soon he had lead them both outside into his car, gently laying Dean in the back seat and he had covered the boy with his coat because he knew the thin t-shirt wasn't doing much to keep him warm, especially in the December whether.
John had headed off down the road, trying to stop himself from shaking. Every once in a while he'd find himself looking back at the boy who was now curled under the large coat staring back up at John, he looked horrible; his nose was bleeding, his lip was split and his face was swollen pretty badly from how hard James had hit him earlier. He just couldn't believe he had found his son but at the same time he wanted to throw up just at the thought of what his son had gone through these past five years and he couldn't help but thank whatever miracle that had put him in the right place at the right time to help him find his son.
John had begun his long journey to Bobby's because he didn't want to risk stopping, he needed to get Dean someplace safe and warm and Bobby's was the best place. It had taken them about three hours to get there, by the time they got there Dean had fallen asleep not able to keep his eyes open anymore because he was exhausted. Once they where they he had gotten Dean out of the car trying his best not to wake him and since he had a key to the house he unlocked the door and walked inside, not wanting to wake Sammy up with knocking. He had soon laid Dean down on the sofa, covered him up with the blanket on the back of the sofa and quickly headed upstairs to Bobby's room.
"Bobby… Bobby hey Singer wake your ass up." Bobby had quickly rose up holding the gun he kept under his pillow ready to shoot the intruder in his room but stopped as his realized it was only John.
"What the hell ya doin' idjit? Are you just wanting me to blow your damn head off, sneaking up on me when I'm asleep like that." Bobby mumbled under his breath. "What do you want Winchester?"
"Come look for yourself." He said and walked out of the room, Bobby reluctantly followed him down to the living room and his eyes widened and he stepped forward trying to get a better look of the kid on his sofa.
"Who… is this…" Bobby didn't have any words.
"Yeah it's him, I found him." John said barely trusting his face to speak.
"Oh my… Oh Dean…" Bobby frowned as he saw how battered the boy was and he looked back up at John. "What happened to him? Where did you find him?" That was when John had told him everything, from the bar to when he found Dean and even about the abuse he had witnessed and once he finished he could have sworn Bobby was holding back tears.
"Well I'm glad those bastards are dead… but as for him we should probably wake him up and get him cleaned up, especially before Sam wakes up." He said and John agreed because the boy looked and smelled as though he hadn't had a proper bath in months. John bent down and gently shook Dean awake, "Hey Dean, it's time to wake up kiddo." He said watching the boy stir with a quiet whimper. "But we need to check you over and make sure you're okay."
Dean rose up and scooted further into the corner of the sofa, trying to get as far as he could away from these men. "Come on, let's go get you a bath and then check those wounds of yours." John said motioning for Dean to get up, but he didn't move he stayed curled up trying to keep his distance from the men and before either John or Bobby knew what hit them Dean had gotten up, pushed past them and headed for the front door. But he didn't make it to far when John had quickly ran after him, grabbing him gently by the wrist and pulled him back.
"NO LET ME GO! LET ME GO!" Dean screamed thrashing around in John's hold, he tried to kick and hit at him, wanting desperately to be let go but John was way stronger then Dean. "DON'T TOUCH ME YOU PERVERT!" And with that Dean had spat in his face, he had to try his best to stay calm so he wouldn't frighten him further because he wanted Dean to know he was safe here.
"Calm down kid, no ones going to hurt you here but you need to calm down alright?" John said trying to quieten the boy before he woke up Sammy, then that's when John started wondering why Dean was acting as if he didn't know them because five years wouldn't be long enough to forget your family especially since Dean was eleven at the time. "Dean… Do you know who we are?" Dean shook his head. "Do you remember Sammy? Or how you had ended up with James? Or anytime before James?" He asked and Dean once again shook his head no to all three of the questions.
John turned his attention toward Bobby who was expressing the same amount of concern, "W-why am I here? What do you want from me?" Dean spoke softly as if he was fearing the answer, so softly John had barely heard it.
"Dean I'm your father, you're here because this is where you belong."
"Not true… My family doesn't want me, I was bad and so they got rid of me…"
"Did James tell you that? Because if so he's a damn liar!" John sighed wanting to kill the bastard all over again.
"James said my family didn't want me so they gave me to him." Dean said before Bobby walked over trying to reassure the boy that no one here was out to harm him in anyway.
"How about we talk more later? Right now we should get you in the bath and then fed, you look like you're starving." Bobby said before turning his attention to John. "I'll go get him some clothes to wear and then start on breakfast and you go help him prepare a bath." He instructed before heading off to Sammy's room to find something that would fit Dean because even though he was sixteen, he looked way smaller then most sixteen year olds from being underfed all those years.
John soon led Dean up to the bathroom, still having his wrist in a grip because he didn't want the child to try running again and once they reached the bathroom he shut the door behind them and locked it so Dean wouldn't bolt while he prepared the bath. "W-why did… did you lock the door mister?" Dean asked as he distanced himself from John.
"Safety reasons." Was all he said as he turned his attention back to the water that was filling up the tub, "usually I'd suggest taking a shower but I think you should soak some of those wounds before we patch them up, towels are right there, wash cloth is over there, and the soap is here." He said showing Dean where everything is. "Now don't be afraid to call if you need something and take as long as you need." With that John had left the bathroom, not really wanting to leave him alone but he knew that there were no windows or anything he could climb out of and he would defiantly be on the look out to make sure he didn't make a run for it.
Soon he had left to find Booby who had just finished gathering up some clothes that looked like they could fit the boy, he had left them outside the bathroom door letting Dean know before walking off to cook breakfast with John following behind him. "Why wouldn't he remember us? I mean is it possible for him to forget us over the past five years?" John asked breaking the silence.
"I don't know… Maybe it is? Maybe James did something to the boy to make him forget? Whatever it is we'll figure it out and help him through this." Bobby said trying to calm John down, he could tell the man was getting pissed by the way he was pacing back and forth.
"I just don't understand it… And the way he was scared of us… I wish I could kill that bastard all over again, take his damn neck and snapping it…" John said frustrated as the images flashed in his head again of what had unfolded down in that basement, what those men had done to his son. "God I can't imagine what he's gone through all these years, just seeing what those men did and what they were about to make him do-" Bobby cut him off with a hand to the shoulder.
"I know it's hard John, but he's back… he's home and that's all that matters right now, I know it's horrible what they did but right now we can't focus on the past, we must focus on getting Dean settled in and helping him through all of this, alright? It's the best way we can move forward." He said before turning back to the food he was preparing, "you should probably go check on him and while you're at it wake Sam up for breakfast."
John headed off back upstairs to see Dean exit the bathroom looking a lot better then when he had entered, John just wished you could wash away bruises and cuts because the boy still looked beat to hell and back and the clothes he had on were a bit baggy on him which made John frown more at the sight because those were Sam clothes, Sam was supposed to be the younger brother which meant being smaller then Dean but Dean was way smaller then Sammy. "Let's see what we need to clean up and bandage."
John pulled Dean back into the bathroom and sat him down on the closed toilet seat, before pulling out the first aid kit, "Can you tell me where it hurts the most?" John asked and watched Dean squirm on the toilet seat.
"A lot of places mister… but mainly my back and-" The teen stopped and turned his head away embarrassed and John got the hint when the teen had motioned for his ass, John soon instructed the boy to take off his shirt so he could have a look at his back. The sight he had saw the minute Dean turned around now shirtless, made John want to puke. There were welts and cuts all over his back, some were fresh and irritated and some were old and infected, he didn't know where he should begin or how he was going to clean these without hurting the teen further.
"This might hurt a bit, but I promise that after a while it'll start to feel better." John warned trying to ignore the way Dean tensed at his words as he soon began to disinfect the cuts on his back, he tried to be as gentle as possible apologizing every time Dean would hiss in pain and gently move him back toward him each time Dean would try and scoot away. "I'm almost done, I promise." Dean just nodded in response as he held onto the sink counter, trying his best to stay where John put him and once John had finished he had bandaged up the boys back pretty good. "I'm going to have to clean them again later, but they should be good for now." He said as he attended to the scrapes on Dean's knees from where James had roughly pushed him earlier in the basement.
After about forty minutes he had attended to everything he physically could, "I know there's some places I didn't get because I physically can't but if they don't stop hurting after a few days, I'll go let a doctor check it out… Probably should have gotten a doctor to do all this as well but I know how much you hate hospitals… well use to anyways."
"I don't remember ever going to a hospital." Dean said and John gave him a saddened smile before motioning him up.
"I sorta figured that, but let's go get you something to eat." John said as he led the two out of the bathroom, he could already hear Sam downstairs in the kitchen with Bobby and he guessed Bobby had decided to wake him up since John had taken to long. Once they got down there Sam had looked up from his food not even paying attention to what Bobby was saying anymore as his eyes landed on Dean.
John knew Sam was a smart kid and that Bobby had probably already explained the whole situation to the kid, so he knew he had Sam and Bobby there to help him with the whole situation, he motioned for Dean to sit next to Sam as he had went over and sat across from the teen. "Is this really him dad?" Sam asked looking up at Dean who shifted uncomfortably in his chair.
"Yeah it is Sammy and it's rude to stare, turn around and eat your food." John instructed.
"But how do you know? Bobby said he didn't remember anything, Dean was eleven when he had gone missing so five years isn't long enough for him to forget us especially at that age. So how do you know this is actually him and not some other kid who just so happens to be named Dean as well?" Sam said not fully believing it is Dean, of course he resembled him a bit with the dark blond hair, but his hair was down to his shoulders almost, probably from all those years of not being able to cut it and also his green eyes was a striking resemblance to his big brother but Sam still wasn't convinced because he didn't think Dean would ever forget them.
"Sam I know you're concerned but you need to let the adults handle this alright?" John said getting a huff from Sam.
"I'm just trying to be sure, I want Dean back as much as you but you can't just believe any boy that looks a little like him, is the real Dean we have to be sure." Sam said trying to reason with his father.
"Okay even if this isn't the real Dean, right now I'm going to need the both if ya to stop your bickering and eat. You two are father and son and need to stop arguing all the damn time, especially about this boy who's sitting right next to you. Now both of you drop the subject and stop being disrespectful and eat because weather he's the real Dean or not, we still have him in our care and we're going to take care of him." Bobby said having enough of their fighting.
Both of them fell silent seeing Bobby had a point not to argue in front of Dean, the teen already seemed frightened enough. "Aren't you hungry?" John said once he realized Dean hasn't even touched his food.
"W-what do I-I have to do for it?" Dean asked his voice so quiet John barely caught what he was asking.
"What? What do you mean?"
"I-I usually — I usually have to earn my f-food… So — so what do I have t-to do?" Dean said growing nervous, he could usually guess what James wanted before it happened but with these people he couldn't read them and he didn't know what their motives were. "I already owe you for the bath mister… Usually a bath is just a blow job with James… For food it's always different — so what do I have to do?" Dean asked his hands shaking and they were becoming sweaty, he tried to his best to not look at the two men across from him.
"God no— No— just fuck— NO!" John said disgusted earning a flinch from Dean. "Nothing Dean, you don't have to do anything for a bath or food… Do you understand, when you're hungry you eat, when you want a bath you take one. Now eat because I know you're hungry."
With that Dean had begun to eat, each bite of food was slow and hesitant as he didn't take his eyes off the two men because he didn't trust them. He knew this had to be a trap, they'll soon tell him that they were lying and of course he'd have to pay for the food. He finished his food at a slow pace, waiting till the men weren't looking and he slipped a biscuit into his pocket for later because he didn't know when the next time he'd be eating again. Soon after he had finished Bobby and Sam had gathered the plates and went to wash them up, John had motioned for him to follow him which Dean obliged and followed. He watched John grab the blanket and his notebook off the sofa and led Dean upstairs and as soon as he was lead into the bedroom, he had a feeling where this was leading too but before his thoughts could wonder even more John began to speak again. "You'll be sharing a room with Sammy for now, you can have the extra bed he doesn't use." John said as he made up the bed, throwing the blanket over it and putting Dean's book down on the nightstand.
"A-a bed? I can actually sleep on it?" Dean asked shocked because he couldn't remember ever sleeping in an actual bed before, he had a thin wore out mattress but it didn't look as comfortable as this bed. Dean placed his hand upon the bed, letting his fingers roam against the soft mattress before he hesitantly sat down. "Wow it's really soft mister, you sure I can sleep on it? I'll be fine sleeping on the floor." He said not wanting the be a bother.
"You will not, now you get some sleep and come get me if you need anything." John said as he closed the shades on the windows so the son wouldn't bother Dean as he slept, before leaving the room so Dean could get some rest because the boy truly needed it.