Padfootlet: Spin off from Secrets…it just didn't fit in with the story…so I'll do a lil one shot for it…
Disclaimer: Do I even have to say it? –looks at lawyers- I guess I do –mutters something about killing all the lawyers- I don't own it J/K Rowling does…happy? –glares at lawyers- And I also don't own "Let Me Go" By the Goo Goo Dolls. They are an awesome group so kudo's to them for this song, giving me this awesome idea.
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KORIMI POVI can't believe he just kissed me. I have feelings for him, I do. But…I just can't get involved with having a lover. I can't even tell him what I am…
"I'm not the best person to get involved with," I tell him, before walking up the girl's staircase, leaving him alone, and leaving my heart aching for his touch, if only for one more minute.
One more kiss could be the best thing
But one more lie could be the worst
I hate lying to him. It kills me inside. Remus says I should tell him. But I'm not sure I'm ready. What if he rejects me? And treats me like I'm some sort of freak or monster? I'm not sure I can go through that again.
And all these thoughts are never resting
And you're not something I deserve
Malcev was right. I will always be alone. Only because I will never be able to allow myself to get close enough to someone to allow them to love me. He loves me. At least that's what Remus tells me. But I don't deserve him. I will only cause him pain.
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
I can't get him out of my head. It's driving me insane! I want to run back to the common room, and allow him to kiss me again.
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
I've heard of those cheesy muggle movies where a male and female fall in love and when they kiss they see stars or fireworks. But that is all make believe. It's fake. Not real, just out of someone's sickening romantic imagination. But I can still feel the soft touch of his lips on mine. I didn't see star, or fireworks. My mind simply swam with confusion, and something else I couldn't place. Now I know what that something is…
You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand
He doesn't know who I am…how can he love me? No one can love someone they know nothing about…right?
And you love me but you dont know who I am
So let me go
Let me go
I hope he lets me go, and moves on. I think I do love him. And I don't want to see him with anyone else but me. But I will only hurt him. I want him to forget about me.
I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
When I know what I'm goin through
I want to love him. But I can't…what is love anyway? When two people are so absorbed into one another that when they are together it's impossible for them to see anyone but each other? How can that be a good thing? Love can turn into obsession. I have learned that the hard way. No, I won't go through that again.
In my head there's only you now
This world falls on me
In this world there's real and make believe
And this seems real to me
I still can't get you out of my head. Damn you Sirius, every time I think of you, a smile creeps to my face. How can you have this kind of affect on me? I always thought love was a children's fairy tale. But, this all seems…so real.
You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand
You love me but you dont know who I am
Should I keep on the path I have chosen? One of loneliness and lies? Or should I stay where I am now? With a person who cares for me so much he would die for me? Life is so confusing. What should I do? He doesn't know me. No one does…except one…and he turns out to be my biggest enemy…
So let me go
Just Let me goo...
Let me go
I can't just make him stop loving me, that's impossible. Not to mention, it would probably kill me as well.
And no matter how hard I try
I can't escape these things inside I know
I do love him. I don't want to. I don't want to love anyone. Ever again.
I knowww..
When all the pieces fall apart
You will be the only one who knows
Who knows
There I go again. Lying to myself this time. Sirius…you are the only person I think I can ever trust with my heart. You're the only one that knows, how to comfort me when I need it. You don't say you're sorry when I tell you something about my horrid past. You pull me into a hug, just like my brother did when I was little. You can tell when I am about to fall apart, and you bring me back from the corner I always try to hide in.
You love me but you dont know who I am
I'm tore between this life I lead and where I stand
And you love me but you dont know Who I am
So let me go
Just let me go
H doesn't know anything about me. But…still…that's my fault isn't it? Damn this is so confusing…. Why did you have to come into my life? I growled into my pillow. I didn't even bother to get changed, too many things are swarming in my head right now.
and you love me but you dont
you love me but you dont
you love me but you dont know who I am
I close my eyes, my restless mind finally tired out. I love him. But there is no way, he can love me. He can't…he doesn't know me…and that's how it's going to stay. If he doesn't know me. He is safe. And that is all I want.
and you love me but you dont
you love me but you dont
you love me but you dont know me
"I'm sorry Sirius."
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Padfootlet: Well…review! Secrets will be updated this week! YAY! Because the family is FINALLY gone! REJOICE! Lol…REVIEW!