This is a new Story of mine, but I want some opinions on it whether or not to continue,

the the next chapter will be up by the end of the month, maybe earlier...
But i've been working with a writers block for a while so, i'm picking up feelings or idea from songs or the episodes itself, I wrote the begining of it after a heart breaking Fanfic i read and then I watched the Ep where Haley's mom died and it was even worse but with the wieh.. gone was my inspiration.. usually I wait till have have a couple of chapter and a steady wrting rythem before publishing, but i need some opinions on it.

Love philine!

Chapter1. thrust back in the past

"You've got to trust the future…you're in a pretty dark place but I assure you the light is there...you just can't see it yet."

That what she said, her light, her very own personal sun. She always was her sanity when the world made no sense. When she showed up one night when she was suppose to be somewhere else, claiming that it hurt that her chest was about to explode. Begging her to make the aching stop, to just please make it stop. She had rocked her in arms smoothed her and told her the pain would subside with time. Telling her that one day she would wake up and her whole world would be turning again and that the pain she was now begging to leaving, would no longer be there.

Her light, her guidance, the one that made the future reachable and the present not such a dark place. She was her only light in a time that was dark and that revolved around the stabbing aching pain in her chest…

"Make it stop! Please Brooke make it stop I can't take! I hurts so badly just make it stop!" She begged, sobbing. "Sshh what happened honey?" Brooke rocked her oldest friend in her arms, trying to make sense out of the outrageous cries and sobs. "One can't believe the pain of heart break until they live through it themselves." She sobbed, clutching her chest, holding herself together. "Make it stop, Make me breath again. I can't breathe. It feels like someone hit the air from out my lungs." Tears rolled down her cheeks, taking all the traces of her mascara down with them.
"Shh, honey. The pain will subside in time. Let time heal your heart and your heart will heal your soul" Brooke whispered to her friend. She didn't know what happened. She didn't know exactly, but she knew enough... When Haley had calmed down, still holding herself together wrapping her arms around her chest. Brooke told her girl; "You know what Harvey Mackey said right. "Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Kiss slowly. Forgive quickly. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it."

Haley had always thought it was fate that shortly after her father got transferred to another branch of the company he worked at and they moved. "believe that everything happens for a reason…." Those had been the key words to healing process. It was a long process it took her all of college to work through the pain and to see the light again. But it had been like Brooke told her. One day she just woke up and her chest did no longer hurt and she could breathe again. That had been a good day. It was a first in 5 years.

Today Haley it was exactly five years since she graduated, six years since that horrible day.

Haley walked the streets of New York City and she loved it. Today even more than other days she was going to live the fullest, she was going to live the day and go to bed tonight know that she did so and that she had a great day.

She flopped into a stool at the Hilton Hotel Bar. "Hey Brookie, today is a good day!" she said. Even though she moved to New York in the summer following her junior year Haley and Brooke stayed close and found each other again in college. "So were here at 10 am on a Wednesday in a bar because it's a good day." Brooke asked incredulously. 'Yep, because today I have a date !" She stated. "and we're celebrating my New found .. whatever he may be ." Brooke chuckled.
Haley knew how Brooke thought about it, because the fact was Brooke was the one on whose doorstep Haley stood that night and Brooke hated Nathan deeply for putting Haley through that pain, but she may never get over Nathan if she didn't try "Haley are you sure you're ready? I knoe it's been six years but each of your previous attempt failed miserably." Brooke shook her head.

Instead of arguing with her Haley laughed. 'I know Brooke… uh I mean I know you think so but that's part of this great day. I have a date tonight!" She announced proudly. Brooke opened her mouth to again object to Haley throwing herself back into the dating scene. "Ssh!" Haley insisted. "Okay this is going to sound weird form my lips, but I vaguely remember my mom telling Ben once that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else." Brooke's jaw dropped. 'Haley Marie James I am proud I taught you well!" she gushed.

"So tell me where does this date come from?" Brooke quipped, Brooke had clearly decided to let it go so Haley sat up downing her drink. "Well I have this colleague, who has brother I think two years older than me who is a sports agent and she is setting us up on a blind date!" Haley beamed.
Brooke was happy for her friend because Haley had been in a dark place for a long time. The chills went down her back every time she thought back to the night Haley showed up at her doorstep and burst out in tears the moment she opened the door. Her cries were burned into her memory. They still echoed in her head when she thought about it. "It hurts so badly Brooke make it stop! I can't breathe! Make it stop!" The purest level of torture she had ever seen. "Brooke? I'm okay now. I know I've been pretty dark for a while, but I haven't been that way in a long time."

"I know honey just be careful okay?" she told Haley, she didn't want to see her best friend go through something like that again. Although Brooke doubted that anyone could be anywhere near as cruel as Nathan, she was wary to the idea it might happen again. "Okay what time and where?"

Haley's face lit up, she needed Brooke's support in this, she couldn't do it without her. Brooke was her light and personal sun her optimist in bad times, she couldn't do it without Brooke backing her up. "Thanks you Brooke." She smiled. "At Le Cheval Blanc 8 pm." She stated. "And I need you to go shopping with me so I look stunning!" she continued, knowing that was all that was needed to make Brooke in on this. "I'm in let's go, lot's to do and so little time!" she gushed.

Brooke pulled Haley from shop to store to boutique searching for the best dress to make Haley irresistible, while Haley's mind was consumed with other thoughts. Thoughts she shouldn't be having and if Brooke knew she'd not be gushing about the pair of Jimmy Choo's. Yes Haley's head was still occupied by Nathan. Because even though he broke her heart and her heart may have healed, but her soul was far from fine. "Yeah Brooke, but I don't need shoes I need a dress!" Haley said.

Later that evening Haley stepped out of her cab and straightened her black cocktail dress. She took a deep breath. She hated to admit that she was nervous as hell, she hadn't really dated a lot in her life and this would be her third date since Nathan broke up with her SIX years ago. She walked into the restaurant, the hostess asking who she was looking for. "Oh, Roe I think." She said. The woman looked in the reservations book and pointed Haley the table. She nodded.

Making her way towards the table where a good looking blonde guy was looking around. "Hi, I'm Haley." She said reaching out her hand for him. Her shook her hand a little awkwardly. Maybe hand shaking wasn't the most appropriate way of greeting him.. she thought. "I'm Lucas, nice to meet you." He replied before sitting back down. Haley took her place. "So…" A voice in her head told her "what now… you shouldn't have gone on a date like this it's awkward and you're never good with awkward."

The waiter passed asking if they wanted something to drink and to hand them a menu. Haley ordered red wine, although right now she needed a whiskey.

That night as Lucas walked her home in the warm summer air, she sniffed up the smell of summer. She loved the summer, it gave her a feeling of freedom. She skipped up the steps to her front door; "Thank you for walking me home." She told him, smiled and kissed him lightly on his cheek.

Then she turned around and put her key in the door, not wanting to give the guy the idea that she wanted to do this again. "Oh, Okay." Lucas mumbled and descended the steps as she closed the door behind her. She was never going to live happily ever after like this. She knew that what she needed was to confront Nathan, after six years it might just be what she needed to let go of him.

Unfortunately, Brooke didn't think it was a good idea. "Haley! You're risking wounding your heart again here." Haley sighed and hugged her friend for taking care of her so well. 'I know that Brooke, but I honestly think I'm strong enough to face him." Brooke shook her head unsure, but said nothing.

I suppose she knew Haley had to do this. Haley felt like she was going to be stuck with her love for Nathan as long as she could break that image of him in her head.

The next Morning Brooke and Haley both had packed a suitcase and they were headed out back to Tree Hill. Brooke had innocently send out an email to everyone last night to ask if they felt like a reunion in Tree Hill for a couple of weeks, you know the old gang. To Haley's surprise they had all agreed to coming immediately the next morning. Nathan too. Brooke hadn't had a whole lot of contact this their gang anymore and no one knew She'd stayed so close to Haley after Haley moved.

Haley looked at Brooke who looked back at her with doubtful eyes. 'Are you sure you want to do this?" Haley nervously turned her pinky ring a little and looked down at her feet. "I'm scared. … But I'm sure. I need to do this in order to move on."

He broke her heart, ripped it out stomped on is and then stabbed a knife in her chest and turned it, before kicking out on the street.

As She and Brooke boarded their plane Haley began to replay that night in her head; How she'd walked up to Nathan house, skipped up the steps to his door. How she'd rang the doorbell and fixed her hair in the window. How her heart had pounced in her chest with anticipation. How she'd discussed the matter with Brooke and had decided that she was ready and that she wanted to give herself to him. How he'd opened the door with no shirt on, slightly shocked that she, his petite curly blonde girlfriend, had been standing on his doorstep with the biggest smile on her face that then slowly began to fade. How she'd seen a cheerleading skirt on the hallway floor and the top she'd reckoned to be Rachel's. How he'd seen the understanding on her face and opened his mouth trying to 'apologize' to her. How she'd suddenly felt like all the air was getting hit from her lungs and she was gasping for air.

With pain she tried to pull back the memory of his face that looked merely apologetic, but it was as if it was locked away in a little box inside her head, labeled 'Dangerous' or 'Life threatening'

Brooke took her hand and held it, she'd probably felt how tense Haley had been. It was then that she realized that a year ago that aching pain and been exchanged for this numb feeling of not feelings at all and that that was why none of her dates had worked she wasn't feeling at all.

The plane landed in Tree Hill after a tiring flight and Both Haley and Brooke took their residency in a cute apartment; two bedrooms one bathroom and kitchen a living room and already furnished.

Haley lay down on her bed and closed her eyes trying to calm herself and her nerves and get her mind of was going to be happening shortly. Brooke had decided it maybe it was better to leave Haley alone so she could emotionally prepare for the following days. She brought her some tea, but after that she withdrew to her own bedroom and began to unpack to ease her own mind.

The next morning Brooke sent out an email to everyone to check whether they arrived and if they were able to meet up at the rivercourt at 6 pm that day. After having received positive reactions from everyone Haley suggested to Brooke that they'd go shopping. "Hales? What do you think of this one?" Brooke held up a set of red lace lingerie. "No thank you, I was looking for something to sleep in." She shrugged. Haley was suddenly bothered by a unpleasant chill running down her spine. She looked over at Brooke who was still nonchalantly looking for underwear.

"Maybe this is what you're looking for?" A high pitched voice called to her and fearing the worse Haley turned around sweeping her blonde locks over her shoulder. There she was the Devil, wearing just about the same amount of clothes as each of the hangers in the racks. "No, I was looking for something little less.." Haley just told her, acting like she didn't recognized her and was just being polite. Rachel. The girl Nathan had betrayed her with. "Ahh, Haley Don't ignore me, like you don't remember me.. It surprises me you're here though, didn't know you still belong to our 'gang'." Haley continued to ignore her, but grew increasingly more agitated and panicked.

"Oh come on Haley? You remember me don't you.. you practically found me naked in your boyfriends bed?"She told her in a very slick sweet voice. Haley felt like she was going to throw up and searched for Brooke in panic. "Brooke?" she called out trying to keep her voice steady.

"I'm here!" Brooke's hand waved from one of the dressing room. Haley quickly walked to the dressing room and went inside. "Wah! Haley!" She screeched what cha doing in here?"

"Hiding!" Haley hissed and dropped down on the chair in the little room. "from what?" Haley rolled her eyes and leaned her head on her heads.. "from Who, is the right question and the answer to that is the bane of my existence, aka; Rachel Gatina! You didn't tell me you invited her too! She's not one of us..!" Brooke looked at her a little guiltily. "Uhm… She sort of tried to take your place after you left, she was actually close with Mouth and Bevin and Skills, and with Nathan from time to time too."

Haley felt like crying, but since Rachel was still out there she didn't want to give her that satisfaction. Brooke smoothed Haley hair, "sorry honey.."

Haley fixed her hair and waited till Brooke was done. She wandered back into the store while Brooke went to pay for her underwear. "Haley! There you are I already thought you left or something!" Rachel sneered. "Nope, just giving Brooke my opinion." She told her simply.

Then passed her out of the store. "Haley, You can't b still mad at me, it was simply a matter of time before he caved for someone who would give him any." Haley swallowed. 'Exactly, 'someone – Anyone! - who would give him any… And for gods sakes grow up."

Haley turned on her heels and walked away, she desperately needed a little more time to think before the big confrontation tonight.

Please! Let me know what you think!