This is a kind of a spur in the momento kind of thing. So like. Yeah. Uhm. On with the story. YUPPERZ.
Disclaimer: I don't own South Park. And I probably never will own it.
Here I was.
I was just laying down on my bed casually with my laptop on my legs. Can you guess what I was doing?
I was watching South Park.
The greatest cartoon show I have EVER WATCHED! That's American anyway. But, come on, nothing can't beat my Japanese anime.
I look at the time to see that I was only 2 PM. But knowing me, I didn't really get any sleep last night because of you know it!
South Park Fan fiction.
You know, South Park Fan fiction and I have a hate/love relationship. I love reading it, but I hate how it keeps me up late at night or in fact the whole fucking day without me accomplishing anything.
I slowly drifted off to sleep, with the voices of Stan, Kyle, and Cartman. I don't count Kenny, because he just muffles shit I don't understand.
It's cold. Why is my face cold? I swear, it was hot in my room when I was in Japan. Even if I did turn on the fan, I had my laptop near me, and that would be radiating heat. I decide to stand up and rub my eyes.
Okay, what the fuck is happening? Why am I outside? And why the hell is there snow? I remember there being sun. I know Japan is fucking bipolar with its weather but I don't think it would've gone that drastic.
I analyze my surroundings. This isn't my town. I'm sure of it because I see English, and I usually don't see English.
"Fuck." I say. I wipe the snow off my face, with my…when did I get gloves? Wait. The fuck I have boots on too? I touch my head and felt a beanie, one with a rather large pom pom. I then proceed to touch my eyeball.
Strange, I don't feel my contacts, but I can see perfectly fine. Just as I was about to skip off somewhere I hear someone say," Hey! You! Human! Come over here!"
I turn around and see this owl on the branch of a leafless tree.
"Yes, Mr./Miss Good Owl?" I reply.
"Your name is Alyssa Cressida Hope, correct?" The owl said.
I don't know what's creepier. The fact that an owl is talking to me or that the owl knows my name.
"Correct. Hey, you look familiar… OH! You look exactly like Kaepora Gaebora!" I say with a huge grin on my face.
"No. Who the fuck is that? Anyway, you're probably wondering why you're here. Well, I don't know if you noticed, but you're in South Park. Your mission here is to simply live here for awhile, it's an experiment. You will be living in a house by yourself. There is already everything you need in that house. It is located next door to the Marshs. I assume you know who they are, correct?"
Oh gosh. I need to process everything. I'm in South Park. I, Alyssa Cressida Hope, am in South Park. I think I'm about to..
"Don't faint. If you ever need anything, just open up this locket right here. I will come by every few days to check up on you and see if you're doing well. Also, do not scare any members of this town. I know you love the show, but please just pretend that you have no idea who they are. Do I make myself clear?" The owl states. I respond with a nod. He flies off, throwing a locket at me before he disappears.
He didn't even tell me what time or day it was. I look around, it appeared to be afternoon… I think.
I walk around the neighbourhood until I stopped at my house, which was near Stanley's.
It's a lot to take in, but I just can't believe I'm actually going to meet the characters of South Park. I get to actually like interact with them.
Surprisingly, the door was opened.
"Why hello dear!" said a women's voice. Wait. The fuck. Kaepora Gaebora said that I'd be living by yourself.
I take off my shoes, and walk in even more to find a beautiful young woman. By the looks of it, she looked around 22 years old. She had long dirty blonde almost brown hair, piercing almond eyes, and she really resembled Princess Zelda, only modern.
"Oh dear, that's flattering you think I'm 22 years old. Truth is, I'm actually 202 years old. Kind of off. I stayed here, just in case you didn't know where to go. " She stated and smiles at me.
She's 202 years old? I'm so..Confused… Oh. Hey look there's cake. Wait. I don't even like sweets. What's going on?
"Having a mental fight with yourself Lyss? You can have the cake. You're supposed to eat it anyway. Oh, by the way, My name is Ella." She hands me the slice of chocolate cake and it gives off a powerful aura. I take a bite out of it and it tastes delicious. I don't know why I stopped eating sweets in my world.
Ella laughs and she hands me $500 in cash. What's this for?
"This is your monthly allowance. Use it to buy anything you need other than food and shelter. Instead of just speaking in your head, why don't you actually talk? If someone overhears they might think I'm crazy or something."
"I'm sorry. But, thank you for the money Ella!" I say. Then, I have a weird feeling in my tummy. You know when you see your crush and he like waves at you or something similar? Well, it's like that feeling but multiplied by ten.
"Lyss, it's going to be okay. The chocolate cake had a potion inside. The potion is meant to protect you from anything dangerous, such as rapists and serial killers!" I then calm down, and feel much better. Ella then starts to walk out the door and waves at me as goodbye. I wave back.
I then decide to explore this house of mine. After all, I am going to be living in it.
The walls were painted a sheer shade of blue, all the furniture was what most teenagers wanted, and it somehow felt like home to me.
Home, I kind of miss all the ruckus that was made. I don't have any little brothers to annoy me about their homework anymore or my parents yelling at me to go outside. It's just me. I just sigh and walk up the stairs to see even more rooms. I open the door with my name plastered on it.
It looked exactly like my room in Japan. Only bigger. The bed, piano, the dolls and my laptop were placed just like I left it before I dozed off.
Maybe this is a bad idea. I want to go back home, but then I don't want to go back home. I pace around my room, trying to figure out if I should stay or go.
"Stan, when did you get a new neighbor?" I heard Kyle's voice say. Wait. Kyle. The Jewish boy from South Park. Oh my gosh, I'm freaking out. What do I do? What if they ding dong the door bell? I can deal with adults but I CAN NOT deal with teenagers or kids.
~Ding-Dong~
Fuck. I rush downstairs and head towards the wooden door. I take a couple of deep breaths and then turn the knob.
"Hello?" I ask awkwardly. There they were, Kyle Broflovski and Stanley Marsh. It looked kind of weird seeing them without Cartman and Kenny. But they seem kind of older than the 4th graders… They look like, high schoolers?
"Whoa! It's a new chick!" Stan says raising his hands to his face. Stan and Kyle look at each other, then look back at me.
"Sorry about that. I'm Kyle Broflovski and this is my best friend Stan Marsh." Kyle says and points to Stan.
"I'm Alyssa. But you can call me Lyssa or Lyss." I say while taking out my hand to shake.
"So… Want to hang out with us before the girls take you into their little group?" Stan says.
"Uhm. Sure? But shouldn't we get Cartman and Kenny to get along with us too?" I ask.
"Yeah, we were just about to pick them u—How do you know about Cartman and Kenny?" Both of them give me a confused and suspicious look.
" .." Make something up quick Alyssa! "I overheard you guys talking about it when you were walking near my house!"
They still have the suspicious look on their face, but about a second later they went along with it.
"Well, aren't you going to put on your boots before you step out?"
Whoops. I completely forgot that I didn't' have boots on. When I put my right boot on, I felt something at the bottom of my boot.
"Haha. There's a snake in my boot." I say aloud. Oh shit. I remove my right boot, and take out what appears to be a key. OH! It's probably the key to my house.
"You keep your key in your boot?" Stan says.
"Yeah, I do because I just so happen to be oh so cool." I say. Coolly. They both chuckle and I lock the door of my house.
Stan and Kyle walk side by side while I walk behind them. Sidewalk, I know we just met, but can you like, I don't know extend yourself a bit so maybe I could walk by them and not look like a creeper stalker?
"Are you talking to a sidewalk, Alyssa?" Kyle says turning around and looking at me weirdly.
"What? Who heard of such thing? I was simply speaking aloud my opinion about the sidewalk." I say proudly.
"Yeah. Whatever dude." Stan says. And then they continue talking about some new game that I don't really care about.
When we finally reached our destination, I realized the house to be where the thing called Cartman lives.
Stan ding dongs the door bell and we wait for someone to open the door.
"Soo. How are you liking South Park?" Stan asks.
"It's okay. It's not what I expected though. " I respond.
"Oh! It's you guys! SWEETIEPIE! Your friends are at the door!" says Cartman's mother. Oh, she's so pretty like always. But so slutty…
She lets us in the house and offers us some chocolate cake. Stan accepts but Kyle refuses. He said something about it because of his diabetes. I walk into the living room and see the familiar orange walls and the brown couch.
Well, I could actually barley see the damn couch because a huge thing was on it. Along with a bunch of junk food. Ew. Same old Cartman. On the floor, I recognized the being as Kenny. With his signature dirty orange parka, but with his hood off. Kenny McCormick has his hood off.
I'm fangirling so hard right now. When I bring up my hands to cool down my face, they acknowledged my existence.
"HAY! Who the fack are youhh doin' in mahh housee?"
"I'm uh..Alyssa! Stan and Kyle brought me here. I'm Stan's new next door neighbor." Kenny stands up and walks up to me and starts getting close. WAY TOO CLOSE.
"Uhm. Excuse me sir. Water you doing invading my personally privacy?" I ask. He looks at me up and down with his blue eyes. I push him slightly back, wanting not to kill him because we all know what happens.
Oh my gosh. Kenny McCormick is really close to me.
"Meh. You're just a cute face. I call dibs!" Kenny says with a huge grin on his face. His voice is not what I expected it to be.
"Dude, no. We don't call dibs or claim any girl." Stan states.
"Fatass, you better not fuck it up this time either!" Kyle says staring directly at Cartman.
"AY! Don't call me fat you fucking Jew!" Cartman retorts. I then start giggling like crazy. I love it when they fight.
"Lyss, why are you giggling?" Stan asks.
"Seeing them fight is just always so funny!" I say.
"Always?" Kyle questions.
"Sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me today. It feels like, I've seen you guys before." I state. Whew. That was a close one.
"Yeah, maybe we hooked up." Kenny says. I give him a disgusted look.
"Puh-lease. Like anyone would want to do you." Stan says.
"Oh yeah? Well, why don't you—"
"HAYY! THIS MAH HOUSE WITH MAH FUCKING RULES. STAHP ARGUING I'M TRYING TO WATCH TERRANCE AND PHILLIP!"
They all quickly rush to watch Terrance and Phillip. I slowly walk behind the couch and lean on it. This was my first time actually watching it like it was a real TV show. Instead of a T.V. show in a T.V. show.
It was just like I expected, the same two Canadians farting everywhere. The boys would laugh every time they made a cheesy joke or farted. I, on the other hand was bored to death. So I decided to walk over in the kitchen where was.
"YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT BI-ATCH! Go into that kitchen where you belong!"
"Hello Sweetie. What can I do for you? Do you want some cake now or do you want something else?" She asks.
"Uhm. I don't really need anything to eat. Thank you for offering though. Do you need any help?"
"Yes please. Would you cutting up those onions and carrots?"
I walk over to the cutting board, push up my sleeves and start cutting the onions. I used to help my mom cook dinner all the time. I then realize I'm starting to tear up, really badly.
"Oh Sugar, the onions are causing you to tear up, let me cut those instead. You can go run along, I don't really need any more help."
I give her a nod and wipe off the tears. I didn't know I could miss home so much in such a little amount of time.
I felt a buzz in my pocket. Strange, I pull it out to see that it was an iPhone. Whoever is giving me this stuff is really spoiling me. I swear. It turned out to be a message from "The Owl"
It said: You'll be staying in South Park for the whole school year. Don't worry about what's happening in your other life. I got it covered.
Well. Okay then. I look at the date, and it was Saturday. And it was only September, which mean that school barely started so I shouldn't have a trouble time settling in.
"Hey! Lyss! Come watch Terrance and Phillip with us! They're in Japan!" Stan yells.
I rush over and see what the cartoon thought of Japan. It looked like the Buddha in Kamakura they were at. Apparently Terrance and Phillip couldn't understand Japanese, so they ended up just farting on all the Japanese people.
The boys of coursed laughed at this because it was their favorite show. The show ended and they all started talking about how great it was.
I just felt more comfortable watching them talk about it. I didn't want to join and correct their pronunciation of Kamakura because it just didn't feel right. When you watch them, it's way different than actually being there and interacting them. I look at them, and Stan signals me to come over.
"Why was I invited in the first place?" I ask.
"Well, I heard I had a new neighbor so I decided to check who it was." Stan says.
"A very cute or kaway neighbor." Kenny states.
"And, we wanted to get to you before Fatass does because once you meet you, you can never go back." Kyle darkly says. He then gives an "I'm joking" look and smiles.
"HAAY! Shut the fack up you facking Jewh!" Cartman replies.
"Oh, well thank you. I guess…" I say trailing off. I honestly don't know what to say.
"Neighbor, it's getting late, should we drop you off to your house safely?" Stan asks.
"Sure."
The boys all said good bye to each other. Well, more like argued with each other for a while and then waved each other goodbyes.
When we stopped at my house, I thanked my neighbor and inserted the key to open the door.
I nearly screamed when I saw the figure sitting on couch. The figure raised up their hands and started walking towards me. Once I was able to see the figure clearly, I knew exactly who it was.
Well. That was a long first chapter. Oh yeah I forgot to tell you guys. I will be accepting OC's but PM me if you're interested because I need to give you guys a specific form. I have a feeling the characters were kind of OOC. :c Criticize my work plox. Anyway, I'm going to start writing the second chapter of my other fanfic now. So BYEE~ Review! I would love to hear your feedback! C:
~C-D-W