Rain
By: Tori-no-Miko
Disclaimer: I don't own what I write about, but I own what I write.
Dear Seto Kaiba,
The rain is falling while you read.
It is spring now and the weather changes between extremes everyday doesn't it? It rains so much in this season; I never did really like rain.
The day it began was one like this too. Do you remember?
I forgot my umbrella when the heavy clouds above gathered into one dark cluster. The rain was so heavy I couldn't see 5 meters in front of me. My uniform was soaked and I felt completely content.
You found me that day.
Well, literally and metaphorically. I was surprised to find you standing there behind me- you never did tell me why you were there. Why were you there?
Known as a man of few words I didn't complain when you responded to my irritating comments and questions with one word. I didn't expect much. One thing that did strike me wonderfully that day was our surprise meeting in the rain.
I asked you why you liked the rain, remember? You simply gave a shrug and said "it's calming". I expected you to ask me the question back but as most socially inept, you stood there silent afterwards.
I started to wonder if you didn't like me so I had to ask, honestly- no ill intentions.
I swear that was the greatest breakthrough in man-kind. People generally say you're callous, cold or uncaring, but I actually learnt the truth. Those were special moments to me, as your friend.
"Why do you always act as if you don't like anyone?" I asked you.
"I don't want to communicate with people, so I don't need social skills," you said. I find that quite amusing now that I look back at it, despite our current predicament.
I think later on, I got upset at your lack of response. Clearly you got irritated too, at me, I think.
"I'm trying to help myself get better now that I actually have people I want to talk to," you yelled at me, "I may not be able to place trust in anyone but my brother, but telling you this surely means something?"
The me at that time couldn't appreciate what you said and rather got upset by the fact that you were yelling at me. Childish, I know but I couldn't help but regret it every time I looked back.
You were always so mature but I have to admit very boring sometimes. I'd complain to you about my problems with my friends, school, family...and you'd listen. Sometimes you'd comfort me and I liked it, other times you changed the subject so easily onto a topic I had no idea about. It made me really wonder about you.
I'm glad though, that you had some romantic backbone to you. I was being random, kind of cruel when I confessed my affections for you. I really meant it as a spur of the moment, but the way you gladly accepted my feelings, I think may have made them grow more.
You told me you felt that way for a long time and how I could have not seen the signs. I acted stupidly and just had to mention Yugi and the guys who I know you don't like- for that I'm sorry if I hurt you.
I know I told you this too already and I realise that it is fairly cruel. I'm seriously very sorry Seto. You probably already knew about the affection I had for Atemu too don't you?
What I didn't understand and still don't understand is, how you could so easily act as if nothing happened. I see you everyday at school, talk to you every night. It was something that everyone I knew would be jealous of in a relationship, being with the person they liked for quite some time each day. You however, acted like we were just friends and only held my hand or gave me a peck once in a while. I'm being selfish aren't I? I really wanted your attention all the time while you went off on a tangent about your work.
I endured this for a while. I kept reminding myself that you weren't used to social relations or boyfriend and girlfriend relationships. I really tried. I didn't want to keep it a secret from my friends, but for your sake I did. I told you I'd keep it a secret and you didn't seem to care so I assumed you wanted it this way.
I snapped later. Ryou was just playing around I swear and I was playing along. I didn't think that you'd take it to heart and think I was insincere. Yes I was trying to get your attention, I was trying to make you show me some love and yes, it was a stupid choice I made.
That night we had a fight. It was the first time you made me cry. I always show you my feelings for you yet you accept without returning- do you know how hard it is to continue sometimes? I may have said that so and so was attractive but really have you ever considered that maybe I wanted you to be jealous? That maybe I wanted you to claim me for yourself?
Another stupid mistake, I said that you couldn't make me happy. I didn't think, you liked me so little as to not even try to get me back. Yes I'm being selfish again; I know you have obligations to other things and people, were you relieved when you gave up on us?
I didn't think it would end up like this. I told Ryou to keep it a secret that I was with you. I told him because you didn't like the way I associated with him- you only told me that 'we weren't really together'. That was pretty cruel too you know?
You acted normal with me the whole week after until I had to confront you. I wanted to be with you again. I wanted to be able to like you. I wanted to be able to talk normally with you. You told me that it was a bad idea to begin with, this 'fake love' of ours. If you're really that socially inept, that brain of yours should still be able to see how hurtful that was.
It's been two months since I've talked to you; have you thought about me at all? Have you regretted anything you've done at all? Because I do. I have and still do like you, so much. So much.
I'm glad it has been raining recently. Lately I've become quite fond of the rain.
Why?
Because it covers up my tears.
Love Anzu Mazaki
IT DOESN'T SOUND TOO EMO DOES IT? NO PLEASE.
Emotional realism for the win!
Please leave some constructive comments, and if you decide to flame, please choose something which deserves it rather than 'because you like this character'.