Title: Taking Over Me
Author: Daylight
Summary: Two bodies, one soul. One cannot exist without the other.
Category: Romance/ Drama/ Angst
Spoilers: Revolutions and M1 (average)
Disclaimer: Not mine, and never will be. The Wachowski bros. rock! I shall just borrow their genius for a while. Author's Notes: I was looking at the lyrics to Evanescence's song "Taking over me" and I felt inspired to get out a pen and paper and start writing. This piece came from a very personal place in my heart that will no longer be denied lest I die of in expression. I have only used a small excerpt of the song because I didn't want to attempt to bend the story around the lyrics too much. I hope this piece touches you in some way.
Taking Over Me
You look like you're asleep even though I know you aren't. I don't even bother trying to convince myself otherwise. I'm not that naïve and I need to stay alert. I can't remember ever being so tired before, but then I've never had a reason to deliberately deprive myself until now. I can barely keep my eyes open, but I do. I have to. I can't fall asleep. I'm afraid to. Afraid that if I do you'll stop breathing. The slow rising and falling of your chest and the warm pulse of your hand are the only things keeping me sane right now. I can't lose you. I'm thinking. That would literally rip my heart in two in a millisecond.
The crew keeps walking by the doorway, steeling glances as they pass, obviously thinking I'm unaware. I know what they're probably thinking. Poor Trinity. Still hanging onto that last thread of hope? They don't say anything, but I can see them out of the corner of my eye, each stopping for at least a moment to steal a glance inside. If I wasn't so anxious I would probably find it amusing.
The strange thing is it doesn't bother me that much. In fact, I barely notice them although I know they're there. There's always a strange sort of energy in the air when another person is present. Maybe it's just my intuition, but I know you've felt it too. I remember you told me once that you felt connected to everyone somehow, like empathy but only stronger. I'd never felt like that before I got to know you, but slowly I began to pick it up, almost like a part of you was implanted into me and now I couldn't let go if I tried. I can't even bare to look away from you for a second. Every second I can't see you and simply know that you're alive is pure pain.
Have I grown weak? I ask myself. Do I really need you this damn much that I can barely breathe when you're not completely here with me? Do you even know I'm here? Neo? I love you. Please come back to me. Please.
It tears me apart to even think there's a possibility that you might not wake up at all. That you might stay wherever you are forever. I know that's what everybody else is thinking, but they'd never say it. They know what I'd do to them if they did. I can't bear the thought. It's too much to handle right now. I remember the last time I felt this way...
I didn't acknowledge the flat line. I couldn't. I refused to. He wasn't dead. I knew he wasn't. I loved him so unless the Oracle was a liar there was no way fate could pull this plug. I wouldn't allow it! So I leaned in towards you, my face mere inches from yours, wishing earnestly that I could feel your reassuring breath on my face, wishing I had something to rely on besides my heart and blind faith. Yet, despite my wishes, I did and said what I knew I had to, my eyes glazing over as my lips met yours. I could never forget the rush that gave me, and I could have wept for joy when you breathed in and your heart started beating again. I almost did as your RSI's eyes fluttered open, surprised, but without confusion or doubt, almost as if those three small words had held all the realization you had ever needed to begin walking the path.
The aftermath more than anything has stuck in my mind: How you gazed at me with un-containable emotion, pouring from every cell of your body into mine. It was almost as if our souls had mingled, bound together in an eternal bond that neither of us could ignore nor deny any longer. I like to think that it was my touch to your face that finally undid you, and gave you the courage to return my kiss as one single tear finally streamed from my eye.
I knew you loved me then
God, I wish you would awaken to my touch as you did then. That you would meet my gaze with those "big pretty eyes", your face an open flood of emotion as it was then. It was that first kiss we shared that sealed our fates in this eternal bond forever and always. All I want right now is sweet confirmation of that bond with all my heart and soul. The bodycannot live without the mind and without you I know my mind will most certainly die.
I look in the mirror and see your face
If I look deep enough
So many things inside that are
Just like you are taking over
It strikes me now how very mingled we are. Like the physical reality of two halves of one person, unable to even exist without the other. I see you everywhere my eyes wander, even the tiniest similarity reminding me of some precious part of you. It's as if you've literally seeped into my soul. When I look in the mirror I swear I can see a part of you peering out through my eyes. Your presence within me doesn't scare me. It serves to remind me of how strong our bond really is. It reminds me of how much I love you and how much I know you love me. And I just know, with all of me that we've taken over each other with such a deep love that I could never find the right words to express it. All I can do is love you, Neo, and hope that you feel it like I do.
Neo? Can you hear me? I love you. Please come back to me.
I stand up keeping my gaze steady on you. For a moment the ridiculous thought crosses my mind that you are like my sleeping beauty, still full of life, just unconscious. God, I wish I could awaken you with a kiss… I think as I gently caress a pale cheek, softer and warmer than anything I know, as a single tear drops from my eye. I close my eyes tight and bite my lip as the deep longing to do something rumbles in my very core.
Neo? Can you hear me?
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me
I think back to what Maggie told me earlier.
"This is what keeps bothering me."
I got up to see what she meant, my brow creasing with concern. "What?"
"His brainwaves don't read like someone in a coma. The strange thing is I see these patterns all the time."
"Where?" I asked almost afraid of the answer.
"On someone jacked in."
She'd been just as boggled as me, but for some reason, as weird as all this was, it gave me some kind of hope. Looking at you now, I can't help feeling that somehow all this is happening for a reason, like fate has something in mind that I haven't thought of.
And then suddenly Link is at the door, looking like he's just been running. "Morpheus sent me to get you." He says through laboured breathing. "The Oracle wants to see you. She says you gotta' come now."
"I'll be right there." I say, suddenly alert.
Link leaves and my longing turns quickly to desperation, willing me to finally walk away from you and do something to get you back. The Oracle will know what to do, I somehow just know it.
I gaze down at you once more before leaving and place a tender kiss to your crimson lips before pacing quickly to the core to find Morpheus. He knows what he's doing and I know he cares about you just as much as I do. He doesn't believe the prophecy was a lie, no matter what you said, and neither do I.
He knows me well enough to know how I'm feeling, and exactly how far I'm willing to go to get you back. I think of you as I walk. It's almost as if you're speaking to me now, telling me not to worry; that everything is okay.
You can do this Trin. I can almost hear you say. Come and find me. I'm waiting.
"I'm coming Neo." I whisper ardently. "Hold on…"
I reach the core within a minute and nod to Morpheus who is all ready. There is no need for words and he knows it. I sit back in the chair and await the horrible feeling of that spike being inserted something I've never gotten used to.
"Good luck." Link says and then I'm in.
I'm coming Neo! I tell him silently. Wherever you are, I'll find you. Please wait for me.
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me