Hi. My name is Lilly Truscott. I'm sixteen, I have big feet, and I'm in love with my best friend.

Pleasant thought, isn't it?

But you don't really have to answer.

First off. My name. I never really liked the name Lilly. It sounded fragile, weak, infantile. Who wants to be named after a flower? I would rather have a name like…Miley.

Second off. My age. It bothers me slightly that I'm four months younger than Oliver.

Third off. My big, fat feet. I'm not proud of my feet. Not at all. Thank goodness for Chuck All-Stars, that's for sure. Every single girl in my grade have size 6 feet. And I, Lilly, have size 9 and 1/2. Miley has size 4 feet, she says.

And fourth off, my best friend. No, not Miley. That would be wrong. Oliver. Everything…everything he says or does just makes me want to melt. And then I remember number one and toughen up. Then I realize that I still have a child's face, a child's attitude, and I remember number two. But Oliver and Miley are together. That makes me remember number three, for some odd reason, and I go to Sally's Shoes and cram my feet into some size 4 stilettos. And when I see Oliver and Miley together, it makes me want to have dark, wavy hair, big eyes, a delicate nose, and size 4 feet. And when I see Miley and Oliver kiss, it makes me remember number four, and I cry.

Wassup. My name's Oliver Oscar Oken. I'm sixteen, I have brown hair, and I'm in love with my best friend.

My name, for starters. I'm okay with the name Oliver. Besides the fact that there are olives and olive oil out there in that world. But then…Oscar. Oscar the Grouch. Oscars. I do not like the name Oscar! What happened to my parents when they decided to hate me?

But the upside is, I call myself: The Triple O.

Pretty cool, right?

My age. Miley and I are older than our other best friend, Lilly. I was born in December, and Miley was born in January. Lilly was born in April.

My hair. I always wished my hair could be paler, like a chestnut, or a blonde. But it isn't, so I have to live with it.

I'm in love with my best friend. I love Lilly, but I'm going out with Miley. Sick and twisted, you might think. Sick and twisted that a boy, who has two girl best friends, is going out with one and breaking another one's heart. I know that I am. I see Lilly's delicate face all the time, even when Miley kisses me desperately, and I cry.



Hello. My name is Miley Stewart. I'm sixteen, I have small feet, and I'm in love with Jake Ryan.

My name. I always smiled when I was a baby, my dad says. That's why…that's why my mom named me Miley.

My age. I love the fact that I'm older than Lilly. Love it. Oliver's a month older than me, but it doesn't really matter.

My small feet. I also love the fact that my feet are smaller than Lilly's. I saw her once, at Sally's Shoes, trying to stuff her big fat feet into a pair of tiny stilettos. What a joke.

The love of my life. Jake Ryan. Sure, I feel guilty that I'm only dating Oliver to break Lilly, but I have a reason. Lilly has everything. She has blonde hair, blue eyes, a slender frame, and the heart of many boys. Why can't I triumph over one small thing? After all, Jake doesn't know this. He thinks that Oliver and I are just friends, all the time. I love this demise I set up, really. No one knows. No one can shatter it, except for me. If I want to. But when Lilly's eyes turn dull when I spot her staring at Oliver, I remember number one, and smile once again. When Lilly cries silently in the girls' restrooms, I remember number two, and tell her to act mature. When I see bruises on her feet, I remember my own small feet, and feel a pang of triumph. And when I see Oliver and Lilly just staring at each other, I remember my demise, and how no one can change that. And I smile.

Okay, this is for the very, very, very few people reading this. I know, I know, I have to update for Law Firms and Restaurants, but if I don't get this stupid plot bunny out of my head, I would have killed Miley in LF and R. So don't blame me, blame Alex Stolar. And yes, this will be continued…kinda sorta maybe.