A/N: This is Alice Longbottom/Bellatrix Black (Lestrange). It's dark, I think. The song is Champagne High by Sister Hazel. Good song. Pretty good band. My two favorite songs are this one, and Your Winter. Um...and I listed Neville as one of the characters, but that was because Alice Longbottom doesn't have a character listing. shakes fist at the heavens Anywho. Yes. Story. Right.
Warnings: Femslash, character death
Bella didn't know why she'd been invited to the Longbottom's wedding. She had no desire to see Alice--sweet, funny, adorably gorgeous Alice--be given away to Frank--stoic, humerless, and much too old Frank. But she went anyway.
She had always hated that phrase, "given away". It was always used when referring to the bride. A man is never given away, of course, he's just now attached to "the old ball and chain". But Alice didn't seem to mind the term. She always was too placid for her own good. At least when it came to matters of Frank.
Frank and Alice gazed adoringly into one another's eyes. Alice had never look at her like that. Not that Bella had wanted her to. No. Of course not. It was sickening, really.
/I wasn't looking for a lifetime with you/
Still, she couldn't help but be curious what would've happened if Alice had been just one year younger--she still couldn't help but think that maybe it was that one-year difference between them that had hurt the relationship's chances so badly.
The six year difference between her and Frank didn't seem to matter much, though. Maybe it was just that Alice thought her to be too immature. Yes. That had to be it.
/I never thought it would hurt just to hear "I do" and "I do"/
Why was she here? Alice had probably just invited her out of politeness, anyway. Always so damn polite. So fucking polite...So polite of her to invite Bella to have her heart ripped out by four words. They were stupid words. She hated them, and vowed never to use them again. Still, it's difficult to get through a conversation without using "I" or "do", so she decided against that method of protest.
/And you'll be the one who just left me undone by my own hesitation/
She should say something. Right here. Right now. Right when Dumbledore asks if anyone had any reason why the two should not be joined in holy matrimony. Right now, dammit! Bella, open your FUCKING mouth and SAY something! Please! God! ANYTHING! No, don't just stand there fucking SMILING! Later she'd swear that Dumbledore had been looking right in her eyes when he'd said that part.
/And for the million hours that we were/
They had been friends since Bella's first year, Alice's second. Alice had helped calm her down on the train. She'd been so nervous that she wouldn't live up to her family's standards. By Bella's second year, they were inseparable. By November of that year, they were together. But not publicly. Never publicly.
/Well I'll smile and remember it all/
Oh, now this was ridiculous. Alice was introducing her to Frank, telling him of the wonderful friendship they'd had in school. Yes...friendship. She was recanting their wild escapades into the Forbidden Forest--which makes Frank frown disapprovingly--but she doesn't mention why they were going there, of course.
God forbid perfect Alice should acknowledge something as inappropriate as an illicit lesbian relationship. No, that might mar her perfect reputation as the sweet girl. The nice girl. The good girl. The kind of girl any good young man might bring home to his parents. Just the kind of girl that Bella never was.
But does Bella bring up any of the stories of illicit lesbian sex? Of course not. Smile and nod. That's it. She just smiles sweetly. Just smiles uncharacteristically sweetly. She's surprised Frank didn't say anything, after having met sullen Bella before. But he never was that bright.
/Then I'll turn and go/
And then she's dismissed. There aren't any specific words saying it, just a little nod, faint smile. And that's it. That's all, nothing else. Then the happy couple moves on to another old friend. Feigned pleasantries that Frank and Alice must be aware that they won't have to deal with for much longer. Once they're on their honeymoon, there'll be nothing but the two of them. And then they'll go on to married life. Of course, more will happen to them, but they'll be out of the rat race to find a person to be responsible for them, a person to come home to at the end of each day. A person who cares about them.
No, it'll just be the end of Alice's life as a kid. According to everyone, her life as an adult had begun when she graduated from Hogwarts. But it hadn't, not really. This was the end of it. Now she's responsible for another person. She cares about another person. Another person...who isn't Bella.
Bella still doesn't have anyone. Not since Alice graduated and suggested that they "find themselves", "go their separate ways". But no, Bella doesn't need anyone. She doesn't.
But still, she ducks into the ladies' room for a moment to check her makeup and maybe sob a little at the loss of her sweet Alice.
/When your story's completed mine is a long way from done/
/Spring turned to summer but then winter turned to mean. The distance seemed right at the time it was best to leave/
Right after the wedding, Bella went and got really pissing drunk at the nearest pub she could fine. Couldn't remember anything that had happened, but the next morning she woke up in a puddle of blood next to a mutilated body.
She saw the Dark Mark floating high overhead and quickly stumbled home to her flat. It wasn't till she had scrubbed all the caked blood off of herself till her skin was raw that she saw another Dark Mark. This one burned on the underside of her left arm.
/And to leave behind what I once thought was fine and so real to me/
She didn't see the woman she recognized as her sweet again--already having been so easily, so obviously dismissed. And now she really saw no reason not to go the distance. No reason not to become everything Alice had strived so hard to help her to avoid.
"You're better than they are," she'd always say, speaking of Bella's family, "You can do so much more with your life! You can go so much further! Don't give in to them and their fucking expectations!" The only time Alice had ever cursed was when trying to persuade Bella of the goodness inside of herself.
So now Bella's looking for that goodness inside of herself. For that part of herself that's better than her parents, her siblings, her ancestors. She's looking for it in Alice's eyes as she performs horrible curses on this broken, this sad, this pitiful little wife who's writhing in pain on the floor.
Is this how much better I am, Allie? she silently, deafeningly shrieks in her head. Is this what you wanted for me, bitch? Cause we both know that this is all because of you, right? RIGHT? Under her mask tears are falling and she thinks that she's sweating till she realizes that she's been sobbing since she started doing this three hours ago.
/And while I'm still gone/
At some point after torturing Frank, she falls down at Alice's side. Allie looks at her, and Bella can tell that she's really looking, rather than that blank, tortured, confused look that most people have after having endured the Cruciatus curse for so long.
/On the quest for my song/
Maybe this is what it means--to finally not be a kid anymore. Maybe this is what Alice meant when she said that Bella was better. Bella leaves little Neville in a basket on his grandmother's doorstep. And she leaves a note clutched in his tiny hand.
She'd thought about cursing him too, like the evil sorceresses did in fairy tales when they felt they had been wronged. But she knew that he was Alice's, and that she'd leave always him alone. So that Alice could live on through him.
/I'm at your celebration. When will I stop wondering why?/
She sees him one night--that night at the Ministry. And though she wishes she could, she knows that she will never ask him why his eyes look so sad. So much like her sweet, broken Alice's did that other night in his broken parents' modest house so long ago.
/While your story's completed mine is a long way from done/
So now sweet Alice is in the mental ward with her stoic Frank, and they maintain who they used to be, Bella likes to think.
/And for the million hours that we were, well I'll smile and remember it all/
She's snapped Frank's neck already, having always believed that wives should outlive their husbands.
And now she's stroking Alice's hair and whispering to her softly--like farmers' wives did to chickens before they'd kill them--and she's kissing her cheek and her hair--her beautiful hair...so stringy and straw-like now--and she's slowly slowly lulled her sweet into a sense of security. And just as Alice begins to mew softly--SNAP!--the crunching of the neck bones beneath her fingers is beautiful and delicate and ferocious. And with it, Bella can feel herself finally breaking as well.
She thinks that this time it'll take more than a round of curses from her cursed Lord to cure her of her humanity. She thinks that this time she may never be cured completely.
/Toast to the future but that'd be a lie/
As she's passing out from downing a bottle of pills with a bottle of vodka, she's hoping that maybe Alice will come and kiss her good-bye for one last time.
/Your wagon's been hitched to a star. Well now he'll be your thing that's new. Yeah what little I have you can borrow, cause I'm old and I'm blue/