"Only by gathering together the seven sages" Sheik said "can you enter Ganondorf's castle and defeat him."
"Oh yeah?" Link replied "Well screw you bitch!"
Link tore Sheiks head off and threw it at Ganondorf's castle, reducing it to a smoldering crater; leapt onto his robot bear and charged towards the corpse ridden ruins.
"Leeroy fuckin' Jenkins" he said.
Ganondorf, who survived the explosion by hiding in his shoes, fired one of those energy balls at him, but Link deflected it with his gigantic testicles. It hit Ganondorfs head which exploded into a stream of pop-tarts, fixing world hunger.
"Look out Link" Samus yelled as she pointed behind him. Metroid Prime Samus. Not the Other M one with the stupid haircut and gigantic pimple. "Zombies are behind you!"
Link grabbed a conveniently placed American flag and charged into them while screaming "FALCON IMPALE WITH FLAG!"
"Oh Link" Samus said as she climbed onto the pile of undead monsters. "Make love to me, and also Sailor Mercury."
And he did. And both of them gave birth to Chuck Norris together.
But then, suddenly, Optimus Prime's evil twin impaled Link on the Empire State Building, but he was OK and used the Empire State Building to club Optimus Prime to death with whilst building a TARDIS device, traveling back in time and getting the Virgin Mary pregnet.
"Look out" Amy Pond, who was in the same time period at the time yelled
"More zombies"
Link turned to face them, quantum locked them cause he can do that then exploded their brains by getting 100% in Through the Fire and Flames whilst making love to Amy and that chick from Rosario Vampire at the same time. Also, Misa from Death Note. Both the movie and Anime/Manga version.
Awwww yeah.