Puck never really knew how much you could love someone, till she was gone. Her scent was everywhere; on the covers, in the kitchen. On her baby blanket, on that damn baby blanket. In bed, Puck brought those covers up to his nose, inhaling the scent of lilies and sugar, with just a hint of vanilla, and something that was indescribable. Everyday day, he'd pass through the kitchen, touching the cool granite counters, his fingers lingering a moment too long. And that baby blanket was in his hands every night when the world seemed too hard to bear, too hard to continue. He'd inhale that scent, letting his worries wash away, and letting her scent guide him towards the bedroom, before crying the night away.
He'd get up the next morning, those sheets smelling more like him and less like her every day, and he'd get up, wishing that there was someone next to him to say, 'I love you.' too. But, like so many things in his life, she was gone, and that was all that mattered. She didn't want him. She didn't ever really love him. But, as many things go, he really loved her.
On nights like this, Puck would find himself thinking about what it would have been like had it not been so bad. She'd still be here, in his arms, with their child, and then they'd kiss and be merry once more. She'd tell him that they'd get through, she'd kiss his nose, and but her to bed. Then they'd pour a glass of wine, and snuggle up to maybe rent a movie, but most likey to see what shows were on. They'd only drink half a glass of wine each, before she'd fall asleep, and Puck would empty the glasses back into the bottle (it was a trick he learned in collage, so no alcohol went wasted) before carrying her back to bed. He'd undress her, put her in one of his old shirts and shorts, before removing everything but his boxers, and wrapping a large arm around her small frame. He'd kiss her on the forehead, and whisper an 'I love you' even though she couldn't hear it. Puck would fall asleep, breathing in time with her, feeling her heartbeat pulsing underneath her warm skin.
But, instead, he finds himself with that baby blanket, but he finds himself dialing her number, waiting for the familiar voice mail to pick up, just so he could hear her voice sliding over him one last time, one final closure, but instead he finds her voice sliding into him, making him dizzy.
"What the hell do you want?" She sneers into the phone. Puck loses it, letting tears fall he didn't know were there, inhaling the baby blanket, and crying audible. Her tone doesn't go into something softer, but he expected this bitterness. Bittersweet endings only happen to people in movies, not people like Puck. She asks him again, "What the hell do you want?"
He answers, softly, voice thick with tears, "I want you."
She barks at him, yelling and all he can do is fall to the ground, clutching that sweet baby blanket, and singing 'Beth' because he doesn't want to love like this because he isn't living. He's got nothing to live for. He needs a reason to live, and right now there's no one who wants him, and the person he wants just hung up on him, the closure he needed, but not the one he wanted.
The next morning, he can barely lift his eyes, and he sees her. God, he sees her holding the baby. His mind flashes back to how this all started, and Puck closes his eyes again.
"PUCK!" She screams at him, telling the doctors to do something, but the baby is already dead. Puck looks down, looking for an answer at his hands. She looks at him like he was the one who took out the cord that was holding their daughter together, that was keeping her alive. Puck looks to find his arms empty, and looks to see his daughter, his Beth, dead and never waking up.
The doctors rush around him and her, but he stays frozen. He can't cry. He doesn't know what happened. One minute, he was smiling at her, trying to get her to wake up. The next time he opened his eyes, they told him it was too late, and there was nothing they could do. Puck was confused, and hurt and scared and the look in Quinn's watery eyes made him feel like he was the bad guy here. But, he fell asleep, and when he woke up he lost two loves.
Puck went home, holding her baby blanket, and not holding anything else, much to his surprise. When he got home, her stuff was gone, and all she left was an engagement ring, right there on the dining room table. Puck picked it up, and threw it out the window, shattering the glass, his heart shattering along with it.
He opened his eyes, to find her stroking his Mohawk, and when he sees her, everything inside him swells up, like a big fucking balloon. But, the frown on her face tells him to not get his hopes up, because she's just here to say goodbye.
She gets him back on his feet, gets him to eat and gets him a job. And when she leaves, he says her name out loud, hoping she'll come back. But, her silhouette fades into the night, and all he can see is the girl in the Cheerios skirt, gold cross round her neck, crying about their first child.
"Quinn…" But she doesn't hear him, and he goes to find that ring, and the baby blanket, only to find they are both gone. This time, she leaves a note, and this time, it says that she is coming back.
He waits for her for three days. She comes back, her hair up in a messy bun, her smile small and reserved, her lips soft on his, and her laugh still broken, but it's her laugh.
And he says her name, "Quinn…" But this time, she hears him and whispers back an 'I love you.'
Angsty Quick makes a happy Madi. Now, I ned to go write some more angst. Hope you all enjoyed this oneshot, and all of it's lovely angst and romance and Beth. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed it!
-Madi