Author's Note: ((chuckles)) I am officially out of my mind...
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. YIPPEE!!
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Men and women, men and women. It will never work. –Erica Jong-----
How could anyone possibly want to dump me?? I wondered vaguely, sitting down on the end of my bed. This was a completely new experience for me, and I didn't really know how to react. Dumped? Spot Conlon? It was unheard of!
"You're a self-absorbed, utterly dense jock who only goes out with me because you like to have sex, and I want nothing more to do with you. You ignore me and treat me badly and I hate you," she had said bluntly this afternoon. Or something like that. I hadn't really been listening.
I knew that what she had said was just a bunch of flowery language to cover up her true meaning. The trick now was to find out why she really dumped me, because that, of course, could not possibly be the case.
Even if I was only going out with her for sex.
I walked over to my mirror and pulled off my shirt. Never had the world seen more perfectly chiseled abs (and they were mine, all mine!!) Was there something else wrong, then? Did I have — gasp — a zit?!
I raised my face and looked at it carefully in the mirror. No pimples, no blackheads. I opened my mouth and checked my evenly clenched white teeth. No food stuck in there. No, it was the same beautiful face, the same high cheekbones, full lips, clear blue eyes. My hair looked just as good as ever, carefully tousled so that it looked like I had just gotten off the hockey rink.
Which, most of the time, I had.
My eyes traveled down my well-built chest, perfectly sculpted arms, lean waist, to my well-worn blue jeans, which were torn strategically at the knees. And I was wearing my black sneakers, which she had always loved.
I turned around and looked at my ass. "Oh yeah, baby, that's what I'm talkin' about," I murmured, wiggling it and letting out a low whistle. "Dude, I am hot tonight..."
I turned around again and ran a hand through my hair. Why, then? Why had she dumped me? I was gorgeous, there was no denying it. There were throngs of girls just waiting for me to be single. What more could she have possibly wanted?
I shook my head bemusedly and pulled back on my t-shirt. I guess the world would never know.
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Author's Note: Whoa. Gotta love the incredibly egotistical Spot Conlon, right? I have no idea where this story came from ... but the idea of Spottie darling wondering why he was dumped makes me happy. Anyway, please leave a review!!
-Saturday