Rating: M
Genre: Drama, Suspense, SupernaturalDisclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or its characters. Lola and Maggie are original creations of angelkisses87 and bubblegumthai
Authors note: This is the second of two collaborations with bubblegumthai. It is a follow on from her fiction Come Clean, which is yet to be written.
Big thank you to Thai for putting up with my random and sometimes heartbreaking suggestions.
Chapter OneSMASH
Another beer bottle hit the wall, splattering it's contents against the grotesque seventies wallpaper, it's orange and white followers turned brown as the liquid slid to the floor.
Dean stalked over to the bedside table, he swiped off the glass table lamp onto the floor, watching it break into thousands of sharp pieces at his feet. He crunched over the debris to the bed and began kicking his feet against the frame repeatedly, increasing the force with each kick.
The door opened, but went unnoticed to Dean as he continued to kick, the frame beginning to buckle under the force of his attack. Maggie dropped her bag onto the floor, approaching her distraught brother. Placing her hands on his shoulders, she pleaded with him to stop, but he only intensified his kicking. Tightening her grip on his arms, she tried to pull him away only to have his legs give out from under him, bringing them both onto the glass-covered floor abruptly. Leaning his hands on his thighs as he knelt, his head ducked down below his shoulders, Lola's white gold pendant of angel wings hung loosely from his neck, the chain gently touching his chin as tears began to stream down his face with a shaking sob. Maggie crouched down beside him, putting her arm around his back. Reluctantly Dean let her pull him into a hug, letting his head lull onto her shoulder, his tears soaking her shoulder as she soothingly ran her fingers over his hair. Tears of sympathy fell down her cheeks as he continued to shake in her arms; unable to verbally express what he was feeling, the pain too much to hold back any longer.
Blip. Blip. Blip. Blip.
The heart monitor kept a steady rhythm as Dean stood at the foot of the bed in shock. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. She was the one to hold it together. She understood everything. It wasn't supposed to end like this,
"You know…" He began without moving his eyes from her pale face, the oxygen tube covering most of her features, "That time I was in the hospital after Gordon stabbed me and she came all the way from England just to be with me and I was such a jerk to her…" He laughed bitterly, shaking his head, "All she wanted was for me to be happy and all I ever did was push her away."
"She knows you love her." Maggie whispered,
"I wish I'd told her myself. Showed her."
"You did. You are very affectionate to her."
"I've never felt more guilty about how I treated her than I do now."
"Perhaps there's something we can do?" Sam suggested, "A spell or…something?"
"Yeah! Lola knew a lot about Whodoo. Perhaps there's something that can help…?" Maggie added. Dean shook his head,
"No…only Lola can do this for herself now."
"Do you think that she's standing next to us like you were after the accident? Do you think that she can see and hear us?" Sam asked,
"No." Dean replied, "That only happens when you're close to death and Lola's going to get through this because she's a strong person. Stronger than me."
"Do you want some coffee?" Maggie asked gently. Dean nodded slowly,
"Please." He replied in a raspy voice as he felt tears beginning to brim again as Maggie and Sam left him alone in the room, "Damn it Lola…" Dean breathed.
Bliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip.
"HELP!" Dean screamed at the door, "I NEED A DOCTOR IN HERE!"
Staff came rushing in, pushing Dean out of the way as they started attempting to resuscitate the hunter that lay motionless in the bed. Sam and Maggie must have heard the commotion as they came running in, Sam grabbing Dean's shoulders and dragging him back and away slightly. Everything slowed down again; sounds became low and muffled as Dean screamed for Sam to let him go before crying out for Lola as attempt after attempt to get her heart going again. Dean sunk to the floor as he watched them converse amongst themselves and turn off the heart monitor,
"NO!" He yelled, fighting against Sam and Maggie as he writhed on the floor, "GOD DAMN IT!" He screamed as he stood, grabbing the heart monitor and throwing it across the room. He collapsed to his knees, placing his head and arms on the side of the mattress, "Lola!" He growled, shaking her arm,
"Dean! Stop it please!" Maggie begged, "I'm sorry she's gone but you need to stop. You're going to hurt yourself. Dean…please…"
"Leave me." He growled, turning his eyes harshly on his siblings, "Sam…please…just…five minutes?"
Sam looked at Maggie and nodded. The two left Dean alone with Lola's body. Dean stood shakily and looked her strait in the face,
"I won't let them win." He told her as he gently stroked her cheek, "It's even more personal now and I will avenge you and my parents. I just…" Tears trickled down his cheeks again, "I pegged so much of my future on you. I know it sounds ridiculous but I stupidly thought that you'd hang around. I hoped you wouldn't leave…" He trailed off, "I wish I'd had a chance to tell you goodbye properly, you know? I wish I'd told you how important you were."
Dean awoke with a start, sweat beaded on his face, as he had done for the past several nights. He looked over at Sam and Maggie, both sound asleep, before pulling himself up and staggering towards the bathroom. Shutting the door and locking it behind him, he moved to the sink, splashing cold water onto his hot face, trying desperately to wash away the images of Lola's final minutes. He sighed heavily as slid down onto the tiles, pressing his forehead against the cold ceramic of the sink as he slouched against the side of the bathtub.
The waking up in a cold sweat and the lonely walk to the bathroom had become a ritual since the crash. Not a day had gone by where Dean hadn't regretted his decision to take the back roads that day. He wished he'd listened to Sam.
Sam awoke slowly to realize that someone hadn't shut the curtains properly, and the morning light was hitting him in the eyes. He sat up with a stretch and threw a glance to Dean's bed, frowning at the realization that he wasn't sleeping in it. In a panic, Sam jumped up and ran to the bathroom where Dean would often fall asleep. Confirming that he wasn't there, he ran to Maggie's bed and shook her arm frantically,
"Whah…?" Maggie groaned as she awoke, rolling onto her back and looking at Sam with a frown, "What's going on?"
"Dean's gone."
"What do you mean, gone?"
"He's not here. Not in his bed or in the bathroom."
"He's probably gone to get some breakfast…" Maggie dismissed, swiping at the air,
"At five in the morning?" Sam asked, arching an eyebrow,
"Ah. Probably not."
With a sigh, Maggie through her duvet to the side and rolled her legs over the edge to pull on some jeans. As she finished zipping them up and the siblings were about to launch a search party, the door opened and in strolled Dean carrying two large paper shopping bags, clinking as he shut the door behind him. Sam looked at his brother with a dry, withering look of disbelief, his lips pursed seriously together. Maggie collapsed onto her bed backwards with a sigh of relief before she heard another chink of glass, causing her to look up quickly in shock,
"What's in the bags, Dean?" Sam asked quietly. He knew all too well what his brother had bought, but was hoping that he was wrong,
"Supplies."
Sam marched over and peered into the top of one of the bags,
"Oh really? Where's the food, Dean?"
"Ugh." Dean growled, rolling his eyes, "Give me a break…"
"No." Sam said seriously, grabbing his arm, "We've been treading on eggshells for weeks, giving you space to deal with Lola's death, but it's been a month now. You need to get a grip."
Maggie put her face in her hands, preparing for the fight she felt brewing between her two brothers,
"Get a grip?" He snorted before shaking his head, "You don't understand." He muttered,
"Understand?" Sam laughed bitterly, "I understand, Dean…" He lowered his voice, pointing one hand at his own chest, holding the other out to one side, "If anyone understands, it's me. When I lost Jess…"
Dean narrowed his eyes, cutting Sam off,
"Lola is NOT Jess." He said sternly, "And I'm not you, Sammy…I can't just turn around and forget that she ever was there!"
Sam grew tired of his brother and suddenly launched a fist into the older man's jaw angrily,
"SAM!" Maggie gasped in shock, jumping up and standing between the two as Dean held his face, blood trickling from his lip, "Boys…please…" She whispered, tears welling in her eyes, "Fighting like this isn't going to bring Lola back…and neither's drinking your life away…you should both be ashamed…I'm glad she can't see the pair of you like this."
"I'm not going to do it anymore, Dean." Sam said softly, "I'm not gonna sit there and watch you destroy yourself."
Maggie turned as Dean stalked towards the doorway,
"We're just worried about you." She said softly. Dean paused in the doorway with a frown,
"Well that's great. When I have a problem, I'll let you both know."
Sam shook his head, letting out a little huff of bitter amusement, Maggie's eyes softening at the look in Dean's eyes. Dean thrust the door open and took a step out, calling over his shoulder;
"I'll be in the car when you two have finished with your little intervention." He spat before slamming the motel room door shut behind him. The others flinched at the loud bang. Sam shuffled his feet awkwardly as he and Maggie exchanged worried looks.