Eternal Flame
Summary – This is a story of eternal friendship, pure love and sacrifice as told by Hermione Granger.
Warning - I think it's pretty sad and depressive.
Author's Note – I think that it is a pretty ansty story...perhaps not my very best...So several things to keep in mind while reading this. The normal characters are from Hermione's POV, the bold ones are the lyrics of the song and the italic ones are of General POV. The disclaimer is at the end.
It always used to be just the three of us.
Ronald Bilius Weasley, Harry James Potter and Hermione Jane Granger.
Him, you and me.
The Golden Trio, were we called.
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In our times of trouble
We only had ourselves
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It used to be a Duo: Ron and yourself.
At the beginning of our first year, when we first met, it was difficult to tell that we would have ended up this way. In that time, I had never thought for a second that we'd become friends…and ultimately best friends.
On the Hogwarts Express, I admit that felt a bit stupid saying to you: "…you're Modern Magical History, The rise and Fall of the Dark Arts and Great Wizarding Events of the Twentieth Century."…It was my way to socialize, I guess…even though all I probably did is scare you.
I have to say that I'm delighted that we are in the same house…our friendship would have been near impossible if you were not.
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Nobody else
No one there to save us
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In our first year, I had a pretty hard time getting friends. I was disliked (not to say hated) by almost every one of our fellow housemates. I was pictured as the officious Know-It-All who told everyone off for going against the rules…and nobody likes being bossed around.
So I told myself: why do you even need friends? You're better off alone anyway…you don't need them.
But that day, after Charms, when Ron complained about me and said these horrible things, I heard and you knew I had heard…. I kicked myself thousands of times for losing control and crying. But no matter how many times I told myself that it didn't affect me, it did.
Hell, it hurt.
When I was alone in that toilet and that the Mountain Troll attacked, I swear that I'm glad you came to save me. You of all persons. You might have thought that it was compulsory since you were the ones who had made me cry in the first place and you were the one who closed me inside with it…but you could as well have left me to die in that bathroom and go to the safety of the Common Room as Dumbledore had ordered.
Nobody except you could have had enough heart to come back and warn me about the danger. You saved my life.
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We had to save ourselves
Mmmm
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At the very moment the troll lay unconscious on the floor and we looked at each other exhausted and relieved, something clicked at the back of my mind.
I knew then that I could be as smart as I wanted, as bossy as possible and as strong as I thought myself to be but I wouldn't make it through without friends. Not only friends to laugh with and…yes, relax. But also friends I could count on…friends that would be there for me and whom I would be there for.
I didn't want to be Loneliness' friend...I wanted a true, meaningful friendship.
I've found this friendship I've always wanted, but never knew of and so much more in you, guys.
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And when the storms came through
They found me and you
Back to back together
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And during these many years of friendship, so many times things went wrong, so many times we could have abandoned the ship in the middle of a tempest and jumped off board to the safety of the shore. But we didn't.
And that's what I like the most about our friendship. When things are worst, that's when we seem to be closest. Knowing that no matter what we will still have each other, brings us closer still during times of darkness.
Instead of backing off, we face the danger together. Together, we are strong…When we're together I feel like I can climb the highest mountains and swim the deepest and largest of oceans.
I'm not scared when I'm with you and I'm ready to assault the nastiest evil. The darkness does not seem so dark then.
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And when the sun would shine
It was yours and mine
Yours and mine forever
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Because through the darkest nights, we can see light. The light emanating from our friendship. It's yours. It's mine. It's ours.
It helps us fight for our deepest beliefs and for what we think is good.
When the day rises and the danger is away, only we know that this shining sun is ours, that it is congratulating us for our victory.
It's something others will never understand. Something that's ours for always.
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And oh how the years go by
And oh how the love brings tears to my eyes
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I have to tell you that I love you. If there was no love between the three of us, do you think that there would even be an "us"? It is friendship and friendship, is about loving your friends… taking them as they are.
Whether they are poor and sixth son of their large family…or they are single child, orphaned by evil and 'The Boy who Lived'…
So I love you…For who you have become to be and for who I am when I'm with you.
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All through the changes
The soul never dies
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We have all changed though the years. Saying that the innocence of our first years is still the same would be lying.
We have all grown up to be the persons we have to be. We have all grown up to see what life has in store for us. We have all grown out of our weird eleven-year-old body and are now more comfortable and confident about ourselves.
What we have been through has been major turning points of our lives for who and what we are today. Harry – you're more comfortable with girls now. Whether you admit it or not, that experience with Cho has changed you. It taught you to be more careful about whom you give your heart to.
And Ron… have you seen how much he's changed too? I'm glad to see that he is happy with himself today. I'm happy that he has discovered that having money and a big house is not what life's about…
During these years at Hogwarts so many things have happened. We've lost so many friends to death… we had a hard time telling evil from good and good from evil… we had to fight people we thought we on our side… we had to learn to trust those we thought were against us but were not… we had our own personal issues…
There were times when I doubt, when I wanted to give it all up...
But there was one thing that I never doubted about...you. The only thing I'm sure is that you guys were the only constant thing in my life.
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We fight, we laugh, we cry
As the years go by
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We might have fought endless times…but it always ended up in laughs.
Remember that time when Ron and you had that major fight in fourth year about the Triwizard Tournament? And remember the time when he and I got into a row because of my date with Krum at the Yule Ball? And that time when you and I…right we have never had a major fight, but at several times we were in conflict. Only, they were mild and were quickly resolved. And do you remember that time when you got into a fight with Ron and me about not telling you about the Order?
We fight, that's true, more than a lot, but it only means that we actually care about each other. And the key to our friendship is that we always make up after a fight. I think it's because we cannot live without each other for very long…
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There were times we stumbled
They thought they had us down
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Finding a way out of these fights was sometimes hard. It's always hard to admit that you are wrong…it's always hard to swallow your pride and say you're sorry. But you made it pretty easy for me too.
Our friendship has always been a mystery to others, haven't you noticed? Two boys and a girl.
I can see them wondering – I can hear them thinking how friendship – how mere friendship can exist between two boys and a girl.
It's simple: we care for each other, we protect each other, we enjoy being with each other…I wish I could come down to one single word that would explain it all, but I can't. What I feel for you is indescribable.
The bond that we share, that special golden rod that's invisible to the eye but that we can feel running through our hearts, joining us together will never be broken.
We are the Golden Trio, after all.
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We came around yeah
How we rode and rambled
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Ron has become a respectable guy. He is no longer that cranky redhead who acted stupid at times. He is now a responsible Head Boy and is getting pretty good grades in class. He has overcome his fears like no one else could and I'm proud of him. Aren't you Harry?
Look at our best friend today and compare him to the one whom you had met seven years ago…
Don't you see how he is more objective towards life and how he just takes things that come along as they are?
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We got lost, we got found
Now we're back on solid ground, yeah
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And you, Harry… you might not see the change you but I do.
You're still you – courageous, ever present and that hunger for adventure is still burning inside of you.
But when I look at you, I see new flames in your green eyes, new doors have been opened to you. You have discovered love… and you are much more responsible now, aren't you? You have learned to control your impulses. You know what you want and you know how to achieve your goals...
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We took everything
All our times would bring
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I loved those times we had togather, just the three of us. But we soon became a Quad.
Ginny joined us and shared these moments with us. They were as powerful, as touching and as great...
But something was changing.
I could see that you were falling in love with her, Harry. The way your gaze would soften each time you'd look at her. How you would lay a protective hand on her shoulder whenever danger was looming. How you'd smile, somewhat stupidly, at the mention of her name…
Yet I said nothing, I knew that you were happy and that's what I wanted. True happiness, you have never really known Harry and I wanted to let you have it. So I did nothing and simply watched as you fell in love with her and spent less time with us.
Soon, you were off with somewhere with her having your special moments while Ron and I would have our own fights, our own tears, our own laughs…
We were no longer a Quad, not even a Trio anymore. Like in the beginning, we had turned into a Duo but instead as a pairing, it was Ron and I.
It became three again some time later when Luna Lovegood joined us. But it was not the same. You couldn't compare a six-year friendship with a six-month one.
Then, Ron himself found his love in the person of Luna…
What could I do, Harry, other than let him go too? You were happy, Ron was happy, so I figured I was too…
But I had come back to my starting point: alone.
I was alone.
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In this world of dangers
Cause when your heart is strong
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I know I am a little stubborn sometimes and much too proud. I thought that since you were happy, so was I.
I was wrong.
I was lost without you. I needed you two by my side. I needed to hear your voices again. I needed to hear you laugh again. I needed you.
I made up my mind to talk to you about it but when I saw your glowing faces, I faltered. I was weak to the light that you gave out. I couldn't do that to you.
So I made myself forget my intentions.
You were both looking much too happy. I couldn't burst your bubble like that. It was not fair to you, not fair to Ron, not fair to Gin or Luna.
Even though me being alone while you had your girlfriends was not fair to me, I figured it was better that way. So I again said nothing and let you live your romances. I let you be happy while I was alone and sad.
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You know you're not alone
In this world of strangers
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But I was not alone. I never really was. I had forgotten about that golden rod joining us. I had forgotten about the eternal flame of friendship blazing inside of us.
And once again when I thought I had touched the bottom, you came and saved me from my hell.
You saved me once again like you had saved my life in first year. I had never told you but that year, you had saved me in all the ways in which a person could be saved. (a/n - this comes from Titanic I think, right?)
If you hadn't, I would perhaps have snapped with so much pressure from studying, studying and studying. If you had not, I would never have known the meaning of "friendship".
So that Halloween night, you had saved me in more ways than just knocking that Troll unconscious.
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And if we loose our way
Any night or day
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Like you saved me seven years back, let me save you today Harry.
I took, now it's the time for me to give.
You know, even though I said there is only a platonic relationship between the two of us, I have always had this feeling of jealousy towards Gin. I'd cringe each time you'd kiss her. I would find myself wishing I were in her place…I never knew how to interpret it but now I know.
You've always been more than just a friend to me. We shared something beyond friendship…something beyond love Harry.
You had that gift to understand me at one glance. You had that power to make me smile with one word. And sometimes, I felt like I had the most intense of conversations by just looking in your eyes. I felt like I shared something with you that I didn't with Ron…
Somewhere along the way, I…I have fallen in love with you. But it was too late when I realised it: You had already fallen for Ginny like the rain that's falling down on us tonight. So I kept this love inside of me, locked up in the deepest cave of my heart.
I'll never forget you. I'll never forget Ron. I'll never forget our friendship. I'll never forget that love that could have been, if only I had had the courage to let you know.
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Well we'll always be
Where we should be
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I believe that you have gone through enough Harry.
Look at what Voldemort did to you… Don't you think that it has to stop?
You have sacrificed so much – too much because of him already. He took the most precious of all away from you. He has taken your parents and your most loved ones. He made sure he hit you where it hurt most, always… So much blood is staining his hands. You have lost so much to him already.
Don't let him take your life away this time.
I won't let him. Nobody deserves death like that and least of all you who has suffered so much already because of what he has made you go through. I won't let you go. I won't let you give your life away to save the world. Not this time, no, you won't die.
You have to save yourself first…Think about yourself for once and stop being so selfless. You deserve happiness, you deserve to live. If only you were given a chance...
I'm not sure I want to close my eyes and miss you... but if no one's going to give you a chance, I'll do it.
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I'm there for you
And I know you're there for me
(end of song)
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When Hermione reached the graveyard, she gasped at the scene before her.
Harry grasped onto his wand. He was scared, she knew he was. Voldemort had been planning an 'attack' that night and Harry had seen it in a dream. It was really a trap. He knew it, she knew it, everyone knew it. But Harry walked right into it anyway and Voldemort would kill him now.
She could see the courage of Gryffindor running through his veins…blazing in his eyes.
She had faith in him but this time, he was weak. His injuries of the previous time had not healed completely and had re-opened after the first blows. Harry was wincing in pain and yet still stood high. She admired his courage but she afraid tonight would be the night.
Unless…
Her heart was beating wildly as she decided for what to do next. There was only Voldemort, Harry and her… and several other corpses of Death Eaters all lying dead on the ground.
Her eyes widened in horror as Voldemort raised his wand and said a curse that was a mixture of Cruciatus and Avada Kedavra. It makes you suffer like hell until you slowly but surely die.
She couldn't just watch as he took away one of the persons she cared the most about in this world. Without thinking, she ran and threw herself in front of Harry and took the curse in his place.
She heard him call out her name as she fell on the ground but she was in too much pain to answer.
Voldemort was startled by her intervention and Harry doesn't lose a moment. He seized this opportunity to kill him.
Soon he was lying dead on the ground among his followers. How ironic it is, he followed his followers to hell.
Harry dropped to his knees next to Hermione, forgetting his own wounds and took her in his arms.
"Hermione," he gasped. "Why?"
"I-it was the le-least I…co-could d-do for you, H-Harry…"
"No don't…don't talk." he interrupted, his voice barely making it out of his tight throat. "Save your energy, I'll take you to Hospital. You'll be alright."
She tried to shake her head but she could feel the pain ripping through her. It was like a dagger – dozens of daggers are being buried deep inside of her repeatedly. "I…ha-have to…s-say this…" she said, wincing painfully. "I… lo-love y-you, Ha-Harry. I always d-did and...and I always w-will. Tell every...one th-that I'll always... love t-them too..." she swallowed hard as Harry's eyes filled with tears. "T-Take great ca-care of Gi-Ginny, w-will you? Shhhe's a g-great girl you kn-ow."
His cheeks were shining with tears and he held her closer. "Don't talk like that," he pleaded. "Why are you saying this?"
"I-I'm g-go-ing to d-die Har-ry. I c-can feel death approa-ching." She whispered, closing her eyes briefly. She hurt. She hurt so much.
"No Hermione, you won't die." Harry said through his tears. "You're gonna live, do you hear me? You're gonna live, say your speech on Graduation Day and become a great Auror," Harry told her.
Hermione managed a smile as her own tears began to fall down her white cheeks. This is Harry: always so optimistic...but you are wrong this time, Hermione thought as another wave of pain crashed onto her. "Do m-me a fa-favour will y-you? Mar-ry Ginny, ha-have lo-ads of chil-dr-dren and b-be ha-happy. Th-that's a-all I've e-ever wanted f-for you."
"Hermione…"
"I-I'm a-alright… P-promise m-me you w-won't bl-blame yours-self. P-promise me y-you'll be ha-happy." Hermione said.
"I promise," Harry said, rocking her in his trembling arms. "I promise Hermione."
"I-I lo-love you…"
"I love you too Mione," Harry cried. "Please don't go. You can't die. You still got loads to live…"
"Be s-str-strong Har-ry. You h-have to b-be... The ha-hardest th-thing t-to do in th-this wor-world…is... to li-live i-in.. it. Be b-brave. Live…" she managed to say, through the pain and tears.
"...For m-me." she whispered before the eyes went cold.
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You asked me "why?". Why I had sacrificed my life for you. The answer is pure and simple: I wanted to give you that chance that no one had ever given to you. That chance to live and be happy.
To tell you the truth, I didn't want to close my eyes because I knew I'd miss you, Ron and everyone...
I didn't want to fall asleep because I knew that I would not have been able to cry and laugh with you again.
I didn't want to close my eyes, fall asleep and miss you...
But in the end, I had to.
--t-h-e--e-n-d--
Disclaimer – Okay, so I own only the computer I'm using to type this story. The idea might belong to all those brilliant minds who have already thought of a fic like this.
I also borrowed(without actually asking) a quote from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. So somewhere near the end, the lines do not belong to me, k? It comes from Buffy, episode 100, The Gift and it is said by Buffy Summers: "You have to be strong. Dawn. The hardest thing in this world is to live in it. Be brave. Live. For me."…so don't sue, I just thought it fitted to the story.
Other than that, the song does not belong to me either, it is Amy Grant's "oh how the years go by".
Author's Note – I know, I should be revising now. But something hit my mind again and if I kept it until Nov, I would not have remembered it that much then.
I dedicate this fic to all those you have read and reviewed my stories and this is to thank them for believing in me so much. It is also a form of "goodbye" since you won't hear from me much as from now on, it's true…I can see happy faces somewhere in the crowd but don't rejoice too quickly, it's only not until November.
Well, goodbye and good luck to all those having exams too…I hope you enjoyed this piece of story and that it isn't that clichéd. I spent onlyone hour writing this so excuse all mistakes thanks.
oh yes and in the last paragraph thing, I was inspired by Aerosmith's "I don't wanna miss a thing"...I think this should be in the disclaimer. right?
Luvies and huggies…