Written in script format.
I do not own Victorious or Nickelodeon.
(Beware, if you have not seen the show, you may be confused as you read this.)
Scene 1: Setting is at Hollywood Arts Hallway
(Tori is at her locker when Andre walks over)
Tori: Stupid Phone! Ugh!
Andre: Hey, what's up Tori?
Tori: My phone...it won't let me get onto "The Slap" to post my status.
Andre: Here, let me see.
(Andre plays around with phone)
Andre: Oh...it says you can't go on until 9 this morning because you posted a video.
Tori: I didn't post a video...
(Robby walks over with his puppet, Rex)
Robby: Phone issues? Let me take a look.
Rex: What's up sugar face?
Robby: Be polite Rex.
Rex: I don't see you getting anywhere by that.
(Robby rolls eyes and takes a look at phone)
Robby: Apparently, you can't go on because you posted a video at exactly 9:00 at night. You have a 12 hour wait.
Tori: I'm telling you! I didn't post any video! I just came home from a huge performance last night at that time!
Andre: Hey, how did that go?
Tori: Pretty well...but Trina kind of interrupted one of my solos.
Andre: Oh no, now what?
Tori: She apparently somehow broke her arm by playing with the armrest at her chair...
Robby: How did she-
Tori: Don't ask.
Scene 2: Setting: Hollywood Arts Drama Class with Mr. Sycowitz
(Cat, Jade, and Beck are doing a scene)
(Everyone else is sitting down watching)
Jade: (talks with a southern accent) Sweetie, how many times have we told you not to eat the cookies after bedtime?
Cat: Many times...but mama! They were so delicious and chocolatey...I couldn't resist!
Sikowitz: Ooh! Feel the anger with your character Jade! Feel the mother inside of you that you are!
Jade: (looks up from script and goes back to normal voice) We're in high school Sycowitz.
Sikowitz: So? Keep going!
(Tori comes in late and sits down)
Andre: How's the phone going?
Tori: (whispers) Still can't fix it.
Sycowitz: Andre, Tori, Ssh!
Beck: (talking in southern accent as well) Doesn't matter Lilly, remember what we told you...
Cat: (looks down) Mommy and Daddy are always right.
Beck: That's correct, sweetheart. Now go back to bed. It's late.
Sikowitz: And...CUT! Okay everybody let's take a break.
(Beck, Cat, and Jade get off the stage and put scripts down. They are now out of character and themselves)
Cat: Hey Tori! You missed me getting a chance to steal 10 cookies! They were fake but it was still funny!
Tori: Oh that's great for you. Unfortunately, my phone's been wack ever since last night. Apparently I put a video up on "The Slap?"
Beck: Maybe someone hacked your account.
Jade: (smirks) Tori, you probably put it up yourself but your small mind can't remember it.
Tori: Jane, I thought we were done with this.
Jade: (smiles big and talks in a fake cheery voice) Nope.
Beck: Be nice Jade.
Jade: Go get me a latte.
Cat: Ooh! I'll go get it! I think they ran out in the cafeteria...I'm headed over to Starbucks. Sikowitz?
Sikowitz: (looks up from drinking coconut) Yeah go ahead Cat.
Cat: Yay!
(Cat runs out excitedly)
Tori: Well I'm going to figure out just what's going-
(Bell rings)
Tori: -On.
Andre: Lunch Bell, you guys coming?
Beck: Yup.
Jade: In a minute...whatever.
Robby: Hey I'll meet you guys there, I have to go to another counseling session.
Tori: Why?
Robby: I don't know, he called me down to his office this morning.
Rex: I'm not sure either. That's a new one.
Scene 3: Setting: Hollywood Arts Outdoor Cafeteria
(Tori, Andre, Beck, Rex, Robby, and Jade are sitting at a table)
(The table's really quiet)
Andre: Why's everybody so quiet?
Beck: I don't know, it always seems like Cat starts off the conversation with some new random idea.
Jade: Ha! At least we don't have to hear about how she combined tomato and lemon juice and how she thinks it tasted good...
(Andre, Beck, and Robby shutter)
Robby: I hope she's okay. She's been at that coffee shop for quite a while.
(Tori's still playing with her phone)
Tori: Wait a minute, that doesn't make-
(A familiar moan is heard behind her)
(Trina stumbles in)
Tori: Trina, you could have at least let me finish the sentence!
Trina: My arm hurts! OW!
Tori: (groans) Trina...
Trina: Can I sit here?
Tori: No! This is Cat's seat! Find somewhere else to go!
(Trina pouts and keeps walking)
Tori: Anyway, I was going to say that this doesn't make sense.
Andre: What doesn't make sense?
Tori: You guys were right, there's a video posted up.
Jade: And?
Tori: It's of me singing...it was my performance last night.
Jade: Your point?
Tori: We don't have a video camera Jade.
Robby: So then who took the video?
Tori: (talks loudly) If I knew, then would I be this confused?
Rex: Cool down sista!
Scene 4: Setting: Starbucks Cafe
(Cat is sitting at the table)
Guy at counter: One latte for...Cat Valentine?
Cat: Yay! That's me! Okay I hope nobody stole my identity! (giggles)
Guy at counter: (furrows eyebrows and gives Cat odd look) Okay little lady...here's your change.
Cat: Thanks!
(Cat walks out of coffee shop)
(Cat heads out to the street)
(Cat starts walking back to Hollywood Arts)
Cat: I hope this will still be hot by the time I get there...ah! It's getting late.
(Cat runs but is suddenly stopped)
Voice: Mew.
Cat: (looks down) Why hello there. (giggles)
Scene 5: Setting: Hollywood Arts Hallway
(Tori, Beck, Jade, Andre, Robby, and Rex return from cafeteria)
Tori: (goes to locker and opens up locker) So...who has a video camera?
Jade: Just about everybody...except for you.
Tori: (growls at Jade) Oh yeah thanks for the help there! I'm trying to do an investigation here!
Jade: Not my problem. Who do you think you are, Sherlock Holmes?
(Cat runs in excitedly)
Cat: (hands Jade latte) Here's your latte!
Jade: (looks down and frowns) It's cold.
Cat: I'M SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY SORRY EEP! (covers ears)
Jade: (rolls eyes) Chill out, I won't be mean.
Cat: (smiles and blushes) Aww thanks Jade!
(Andre sees something moving in Cat's bag)
Andre: (goes over to Cat) Um...what's that in your bag?
Cat: What bag?
Beck: The one you're carrying.
Cat: (points to bag) This? Oh, my school books, why?
(Tori stares at phone. Rex, Robby, Jade, Beck, and Andre exchange a glance)
Rex: Is she serious?
Robby: Be quiet!
Jade: No Cat, the thing that's moving around.
Cat: Oh!
(Cat puts bag on the floor and grabs a tiny kitten out of it)
(Cat scoops up kitten in her arms)
Cat: Isn't it cute? See see look at it it's adorable!
Andre: (goes over and strokes fur) Hey little buddy!
Robby: Where'd you find this, Cat?
Cat: It was on the road.
Beck: Did you check to see if he-
Cat: It's a she!
Beck: -had a name on the collar?
Cat: (nods) Yeah I did, I didn't see any name though. So I guess it's mine! (giggles)
(Tori looks up from phone and sees the kitten)
Tori: Aw look at how coincidental this is. Cat just got a cat!
Cat: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
Tori: Nothing, it's just funny because you two have the same name.
Cat: Oh! Okay! (giggles)
(Tori's phone buzzes and scrambles to go get it)
Tori: (widens eyes) Oh wow... OH WOW!
Robby: What is it?
Tori: The video that was uploaded of me? It got 80,000,000 hits!
Andre: (says in excitement) No way!
Jade: (says rudely) Yup. No way.
Scene 6: Setting: Tori's House
(Tori comes in)
(Trina is on the couch laughing at something on the computer)
Tori: What's so funny?
(Trina is still laughing)
Tori: WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
Trina: (stops laughing) Hey you don't need to be rude about it!
Tori: Sorry.
Trina: Anyway, I was watching this video on the computer.
Tori: Uh huh.
Trina: It's called the duck song. Okay so listen to this. A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and goes like "hey" and then it says "got any grapes?"
(Trina starts laughing again)
(Tori stares at her oddly)
Trina: You don't get it? You see-
Tori: Oh I get it. It's just not funny.
Trina: (sticks tongue out) It is too funny.
Tori: Real mature for someone who's older than me.
(Parents come home)
Trina: It is so funny, there are 21,882, 853 hits!
Tori: Yeah? My video has more!
Mom: Oh what are you guys arguing about now?
Trina: Tori doesn't think the Duck song is funny!
Dad: Well...it's based at a younger audience.
Trina: Seriously?
Tori: Yeah. People are more interested in watching someone sing rather than some lame joke.
Mom: Wait, who's singing?
Tori: Me. Someone posted up a video of that concert and the videos gotten 80,000,000 hits.
Dad: Wow! That's a lot.
Mom: Congrats honey! Can we watch it?
Tori: Gee mom you saw it live, why do you need to see it on the internet?
Trina: (huffs) Well I'm going upstairs.
Tori: (smiles) Good night!
Scene 7: Setting: Hollywood Arts Hallway
(Tori walks in and a crowd of people cover her)
Girl 1: Oh my gosh! I saw your performance!
Girl 2: That was AMAZING!
Guy 1: Nice voice you got there...
Tori: Uh...what's going on?
(Everyone around her laughs)
Girl 1: On The Slap! Didn't you know?
Tori: Of course I did-
Guy 2: You are pretty lucky, 80,000,000 hits! (whistles)
Tori: Okay but why are you guys-
Girl 3: Huddling over you? You're like a star now!
Everyone but Tori: Yeah yeah yeah!
(Tori's friends come up to see what's going on)
Jade: Hey, what is this?
(Everybody backs away)
Girl 2: (looks afraid) We were just congratulating Tori!
Jade: (glares) Well there Fiona, I think she has enough congratulations. All of you, back off.
Fiona: But we were just-
Jade: Off!
(The crowd of people move away)
(Tori looks up)
Andre: What was that about?
Robby: That was crazy!
Cat: Just like a cat when you give it Pixi Stix!
(Everyone looks at Cat worriedly)
Cat: (looks at the floor and talks quietly) Trust me, it didn't end well.
Tori: Wow...well...um...thanks Jade.
Jade: That wasn't meant to be a helping offer, Vega.
Beck: Jade-
Jade: Don't "Jade" me!
Beck: Sorry.
Tori: I know but-
Jade: Listen Tori, I'm not your friend. I never was and I won't be.
Cat: WHY CAN'T WE BE FRIENDS?
Jade: You be quiet.
Cat: EEP!
Tori: Oh. Well, then I'll see you guys around then.
(Bell rings)
Tori: (mutters) Off to Sikowitz...
Scene 8: Setting: Cat's House
(Cat gets home from school and plops onto the couch. She strokes her cat)
Cat: (giggles) Hey Sparkles...
Sparkles: (screeches)
Cat: Gee someone's in a bad mood.
Sparkles: mew mew
(doorbell rings)
(Cat opens it)
Cat: Hey, um who is this?
Man: Little Lady, have you seen a cat around anywhere?
Cat: Um...what does it-
Man: It's a she!
Cat: -look like?
Man: Um she's tiny and orange with stripes. She normally likes to be called Tiger.
Sparkles: MEOW!
Man: Is that Tiger right there?
Cat: (freezes) Maybe.
Man: (goes over to the cat) There you are Tiger, we missed you!
Tiger/Sparkles: Mew mew mew mew...
Man: (picks up Tiger) Thanks for finding our cat miss...
Cat: Cat Valentine.
Man: (laughs) That's quite funny right there how your name is Cat and you rescued a cat-
Cat: WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
Man: (shakes head) Nothing, it's just funny.
Man: (talks to Tiger) Come on Tiger, let's go home.
Cat: I'LL MISS YOU SPARKLES! I mean...Tiger.
Tiger: Mew...
(Man leaves with Tiger)
Cat: Aww...I miss Sparkles.
Scene 9: Setting: Hollywood Arts Hallway
(Tori heads off to locker and sees people on cell phones)
Tori: Ugh...not this AGAIN.
(People look as if they're about to head over to Tori, but quickly walk in the other direction)
Tori: Huh, maybe not. (opens locker)
(Robby and Rex head over)
Robby: Hey, it looks like everyone kind of got over the whole concert thing.
Rex: Just like real performers say, "One Night Only"
Robby: Oh Rex, you're too funny.
Rex: You think I don't know that?
Tori: (smiles) Well I'm happy about that, I mean it was fun for a day, but just got annoying.
(Beck and Jade head over)
Beck: Well Tori, it looks like everyone is done with bugging you.
Jade: Yup, now I can be the only one again.
Tori: There's also Trina.
Jade: True true.
(Cat and Andre head over)
Cat: (looks down at the ground) Sparkles' owner came last night.
Tori: Aw, I'm sorry.
Cat: (looks up) But he was a nice man! The newly named Tiger is now happy in his house.
Tori: Oh, well that's great.
(Andre is staring at his phone)
Tori: Ugh, please don't tell me you're obsessing over that video.
Andre: No, I'm watching The Duck Song
Tori: Oh. Maybe Trina's not the only one. I better apologize to her.
Beck: So wait, did anyone figure out who posted the video in the first place?
(Sinjin passes by)
Sinjin: I did it. I posted the video Tori. I hope you liked it. (smiles creepily and walks away)
Tori: (rolls eyes) Well now we can go back to normal.
Beck: Back to normal.
Jade: Back to normal.
Andre: Back to normal.
Rex: Back to normal.
Cat: ...what? Oh. Back to normal.
Tori: Now let's go get some slushies!
Cat: YAY SLUSHIES!
(Everyone heads off to get a slushie)
~~~THE END~~~