Hey! Okay, just another one shot, but I thought I'd try a songfic this time. So this is to the song Please Don't Leave Me by P!nk. Read and review please, 'cause you know how much I love them (well, okay I haven't been replying yet, but I will once the exams are over).
A/N: with regards to the whole "you-just-stole-my-chocolate mad thing, those of you with younger brothers and sisters will understand.
Disclaimer: I don't not now, nor will I ever own the tv show Castle or any of its characters. I also don't own the song Please Don't Leave Me, even though I really like it.
"I can't believe you! What are you doing here?" Castle paled visibly, not daring to open his mouth to answer her question. It was official. Detective Kate Beckett was mad. Not you-spilt-my-coffee mad, not you-just-stole-my-chocolate mad.
No, Beckett was at the get-out-of-my-way-I'm-about-to-hit-supernova mad stage.
Why?
Castle was in her apartment. Again.
I don't know if I can yell any louder,
How many times have I kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?
I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
When my heart is broken
"Get out, Castle," she said wearily. She didn't need this right now, not when she and Josh had just broken up. He said it was her fault, that she was always working. It wasn't her fault though. Yeah, okay, she was always working, but that wasn't the point. The point was that when she wasn't working, he was. They were on opposite shifts, it was obvious to Kate now that a relationship couldn't work.
But she hadn't broke it off. Josh did.
Because he thought she was getting with Castle behind his back. "The way he follows you around….and every time I turn up at the precinct you two always have your heads together, talking or muttering about something!" She had, of course, vehemently denied these accusations. She wasn't with Castle! The thought of it alone was enough to make her sick.
Please, please don't leave me
Please, please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please don't leave me
But, she couldn't help thinking on her way home, does it really? And standing here now, looking at him sat on her couch, two glasses of red wine and a couple of take-out boxes, chopsticks already in them, looking at her expectantly, waiting for something, she thought it again. Does the thought of being with Castle really make her sick? 'cause all she was thinking as she continued to stare at him was that it was nice that someone cared enough to wait at her apartment for her, with dinner, wine and a sympathetic ear ready for her to talk to. She felt the anger slowly leave her body…then come rushing back.
How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I've never been this nasty
Can't you tell that this is all jus a contest?
The one that wins will be the one who hit's the hardest
But baby I don't mean it
I promise
He was in her apartment. Her new apartment. And the only other key was on Lanie's keychain, so how did he get in? then she spotted it. A copy of her key on the keychain in his hands. She held out her hand.
"And give me that key before you leave." Castle looked at her, confused, then suddenly concerned. Kate bit her lip, realising that he must have noticed she wasn't quite her self. He tipped his head on one side and cocked an eyebrow at her.
"Are you okay?" he asked, sounding genuinely concerned. Kate's anger returned to her tenfold. If it hadn't been for Castle and his genuine concern and Nikki Heat books, she wouldn't be single. Or would she?
Kate had to admit, she had been thinking about breaking off her relationship with Josh herself. It wasn't really working because neither of them were ever around. They were effectively just sharing an apartment, with isn't really a relationship. But Kate was too angry to think about that. She wanted someone to blame, someone to yell at. Castle was the only other person here, and she wasn't about to yell at herself.
"No, I'm not okay! I've had a really rough day today, and I come back home, MY home, and what do I find when I come through the door? You, in your apparent infinite wisdom, have at some point stolen my key, got a copy made, and let yourself in! Now, tell me Castle, does having the one person you don't want to see in your apartment seem conductive to a relaxing evening?" Castle stared at her, then a change came over his face. He actually looked angry. Truly angry.
"Well, I apologise for being worried about you, for wanting to find out what was wrong so that I could help if I was able to! I'm sorry that I actually care about other people, Beckett, but unlike you, I don't have the ability to put people I care about to the back of my mind, if that's what you do, so that I can avoid being hurt again, even if the first time I was hurt, it wasn't actually my fault! You don't have to distance yourself from people, Beckett, it wasn't your fault your mother was shot and killed, it not your fault that the victims in your cases died because you didn't know! You can't be responsible for everyone's pain and misery! It's just not logical!"
Kate was startled. He'd never been this angry, never mind shouted, at her like this. And he was right. Her shoulders sagged under the truth in his words. She couldn't be responsible for everyone's pain. It wasn't logical. But that didn't stop her feeling that way. She hung her head, slightly ashamed of herself. Why was it she only behaved this way with Castle? If she had been talking to anyone else, she would've kept it bottled up, not shown her feelings at all. She sighed.
"I'm sorry, Castle." She spoke quietly, so quietly that Castle had to move a little closer to her to be able to hear what she was saying. "I didn't mean what I said. It's just, I don't know, I've had a crap day and I didn't expect anyone else to notice. It just shocked me that you'd been able to get into my apartment. It reminded me of…." She couldn't carry on, her emotions were overflowing in the form of tears in her eyes and a large lump in throat that prevented her from talking.
Castle, realising what had stopped her, reached out and pulled her into a hug, where she cried freely on his shoulder. She gripped his shirt in her fisted hands as his arms wrapped around her, making her feel safe for the first time that day.
As her tears slowed and eventually stopped, Castle looked down into her face and gave her a small smile. She smiled back and went to leave his arms, but he stopped her.
"where are you going?" He asked her quietly. She huffed good-naturedly.
"I was going to put on my pyjamas, 'cause in case you hadn't noticed, it's half ten and I have to go to work tomorrow." He let her go, and she hurried to her room to pull on her pyjamas, then headed for the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. When she walked back into the living room, Castle was still sat on her sofa, waiting for her to come back. In a way, she was glad. She hadn't wanted him to leave. But she also knew he had to get back to his own apartment, to Alexis and . . . And Gina.
She smiled to herself, the coughed to get his attention. Castle turned to see Beckett stood leaning on the doorframe, a small smile playing across her lips, in a pair of worn pyjama pants and an old oversized t-shirt. He smiled.
"obviously I was too subtle,' she said with a smirk, ' I was trying to let you know I was going to bed. So, unless your gonna stay on my couch, which I don't recommend, I think you best head home." Castle shook his head.
"Nope, I'm not going back just yet. I want to talk." Kate sighed. Her heart wanted him to stay, but he had a girlfriend and. . . Well, he may not even think of her in that way.
"Well, I don't want to talk, so you need to go home, Castle."
Please, please don't leave me
Please, please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please don't leave me
Castle stood up suddenly, his face contorted with frustration. "I thought we'd just sorted this out! I'm not leaving while you're like this! You need to talk to someone, otherwise you end up exploding again like you did earlier. And next time, it may not be me, it could be any of the others."
I forgot to say how beautiful you really are to me
I cannot be without; you're my perfect little punching bag
And I need you, I'm sorry
Kate had never, ever, seen Castle this angry. Truth be told, she rarely saw Castle anything other than joking around, trying to make her laugh. It was a rare occasion that she saw him acting seriously. Despite all of his different moods, and how annoying he could be, Kate Beckett still found that she needed him around, to bounce ideas off of, or to yell at so that his come-back would make her think logically. She needed him to stay.
"Sorry,' she mumbled. Castle's shoulders relaxed, and he looked at her, concerned.
"I just want you to be happy. You're so beautiful when you're happy and smiling, I just want you to be like that all the time, despite your career choice. I really care, Kate, to the point that I think I'm in love with you." Kate stared at him, stunned by his confession, and he shifted, slightly uneasy under her gaze. She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again. Castle began to backtrack quickly.
"But if you don't want me, either here or at all, I can leave," He headed for the door to her apartment, but Kate held out her arm to stop him.
"Castle…" He sighed, exasperated.
"Can't you, just this once, call me Rick?" she gave a small smile, and began again.
"Rick, I cannot believe that you just told me you loved me,' He hung his head and made to leave, but once again she stopped him, 'and I only have one thing to say to you." Rick looked up, half hopeful and half resigned to the inevitable.
"I love you too." His mouth fell open, and Kate reached over and shut it again before pressing her lips again his. It felt like hours before they parted for air. Kate wandered over to the sofa and sat down, picking up one of the long-forgotten glasses of wine. She sipped it, then put the glass back down and pick up one of the Chinese cartons. She looked up at Rick, who was just staring at her, before gesturing with her chopsticks to the seat beside her.
When they finished their meal, Kate turned on the TV and curled up on the sofa, leaning against Rick. He put his arm around her and held her close. As she was falling asleep, Kate whispered, "Rick?" He looked down at her drowsy form.
"Yeah?"
"Don't leave, please."
"Don't worry, I won't."
Wow, this turned out longer than I thought, but I hope you guys enjoy it anyways. : )
