Author's Note: Okay, it's the middle of the night, and a plot bunny invaded my head, and I really had to write about New Jersey arguing with New York. Being from New Jersey, (born and raised, baby) is a huge source of pride for me, so naturally I have an OC. :P And as any New Jersey citizen knows, the rivalry between NJ and NY is real, serious, and of course NJ wins because come on. Anyway... yeah. I might write more of these, mainly because I kinda want to write NJ having a conversation with California, (which is better, California Girls or Jersey Girl? I think you can guess my answer) but for now, have a one-shot. :) Read and review, please!
(P.S, this is rated T because my version of NJ has a huge potty-mouth. You've been warned!)
Many countries seem to think America lives alone. After all, nobody ever talks about living with the superpower, so there's really no reason to assume anyone does. But most countries forget to take into account one variable; the states.
"Come on, sis, lighten up!" America heard New York's appeal from the other side of the house. He groaned, running his hands through his hair as he sat on the couch. He had been hoping for some peace and quiet, but living in a house with fifty children didn't lend itself well to a peaceful atmosphere. Who was New York arguing with, anyway?
"The fuck I will!" He heard New Jersey shout. He rolled his eyes; it figured it was her. Okay, he could make this work. If he could manage to tune them out and let them work out their problems themselves, he could just sit back, watch some tv, and-
They were headed his way, weren't they?
He heard the angry stomping of two pairs of feet coming through the house towards him, and prepared himself to resolve whatever argument the siblings were having. He had no idea why, but ever since the states had been born, they'd had it out for each other. New York in a cheery, teasing sibling kind of way, and New Jersey in a "rabid dog that's just been poked with a stick" kind of way. You'd think New York would have learned by now, but no; apparently he thought it was fun to rile her up.
"Dad!" He looked up to see New Jersey standing in front of him, her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. She really was a chip off the old block, with blonde hair and glasses just like her father, and a cowlick that mirrored his. Unlike him, her hair was long and pulled back in a ponytail, and her eyes were green; a trait she got from her other father, the Netherlands. She was dressed, like she always was in warm weather, like she was ready for a trip down the boardwalk; in faded jean shorts and a loose pink tank top. And Jesus, did she look mad. "New York's being a dickwad!"
Alfred sighed, resigning himself to yet another stint as referee. "What did he do this time, New Jersey?"
"He keeps referring to me as a 'smaller, less trendy' him! Tell me you're gonna do something about that?"
"Aw, come on!" New York entered the room, grinning widely with his hands in his pockets. "I was just joking!" New York had short brown hair and blue eyes, and wore thick, black glasses. He was wearing a plaid shirt, scarf, and fedora, and his ever-important Rolex, which just happened to be Wall Street. "Why do you have to be so serious all the time, little sis?" He said jokingly, mussing his sister's hair affectionately.
"Little sis!?" New Jersey said incredulously. "I'm older'n all yous guys! It ain't my fault I'm fucking tiny!"
"Excuse me?" New Jersey craned her head to see Delaware in the other room, arching his eyebrow questioningly. Delaware, who had brown hair and blue eyes much like New York, was wearing a dark blue dress shirt and jeans as he sat with a newspaper at the dining room table.
New Jersey huffed. "Fine, third oldest, but still!" She turned back to New York to continue her argument, but found him doubled over and snickering, trying to contain a laugh attack. "What the hell is so funny?" She asked. That did it. New York burst into a fit of hysterical laughter, much to the chagrin of his sister, who looked on in disgust. "What the fuck are you laughing about!?" She shouted.
"O-oh my God…" New York said, straightening up and wiping tears from his eyes, still smiling. "You…" He took a second to get his laughter under control. "You sounded just like the guys on Jersey Shore for a second!"
America and Delaware both snapped up at that, eyes wide. The idiot was in for it, now. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?" New Jersey shouted, her face growing redder than one of her tomatoes.
New York gulped, seemingly having realized his mistake. "I said, um… oh, hey, I think Virginia's calling me, gotta go!" He high-tailed it out of the room, a roaring New Jersey hot on his tail. America sat on his couch for a moment, wondering if he should intervene, then picked up the remote and turned on The Daily Show. Some things just weren't worth getting in the middle of.