"Jieuna, are you sure about this?"
She looked over at her right and saw Inna's concerned expression, and can't help feeling guilty over it. Truth is, she's not so sure herself. When she found out from her management that it was actually Jo Jung Suk who rejected and made an argument against doing the kiss in their final episode, she couldn't even begin to comprehend how she felt—devastated was not enough to cover it. It made her question the past six months of her life, her feelings, and—more importantly—his. In the end, she was at least glad that she learned about it after the drama ended, and took it as a sign for her to move on. Yet, here she is despite her overflowing workload. Had she really been determined to avoid him, she would've been better off not going with them on this trip.
"Ah, molla!" she sighed out loud as she buried her feet deeper into the sand, just in time for the waves to come crashing right into it. Above them, she could see the clear black night sky, speckled by hundreds of stars while around her is one long stretch of sand that runs as far as her eyes can see. She could hear the sound of the guitar, mixed in with laughter and singing from a distance, but from where they're at, the sound of the crashing waves and the chirping cicadas are far more apparent. Still, even in this peaceful landscape, her heart can't seem to keep calm.
"I still think you guys need to talk this through. He probably has a reason for your doubts, you know." Inna advised while stretching out to lie on her back "I mean, I don't see him as the type to lead you on, and it's not like I haven't seen you two together, so it'll be sad if you two don't have a proper conversation about this."
Jieun grunted "And how am I supposed to go about that conversation? Oppa, why did you reject the kiss scene for the final episode? Do you abhor the idea of kissing me that much?"she asked in sarcasm
"Pabo ya!" Inna muttered, "You know very well that's not the case. Besides, what about the things he did before? What about him saying he liked you?"
"I'm not sure anymore. In hindsight, maybe he was only doing those things to Soon Shin, or maybe because he thinks of me as a dongsaeng? About him saying what he did, maybe he didn't mean it romantically…"
At this, Inna sat up straight and looked at her intently. "You're really serious about him, are you? I've never seen you acting like this with any guy before."
"It's not like that, Unni" It's exactly like that, Unni. Only, I'm much of a coward to say it out loud. Jieun thought to herself as she wriggled the sand off her toes.
"Oi!" The sound of distant calling and scurried footsteps made both Inna and her look behind them and saw the two Ji Hoons hastily going towards their direction while a rather timid looking Jung Suk followed. For a moment, their eyes met, but she quickly averted her gaze and focused it back on the sand beneath her feet.
"What are you guys doing here all alone?" said the older Ji Hoon.
"Yeah..." younger Ji Hoon giddily interjected while motioning to somewhere on his left "Look; we got permission to build a campfire on the other side, so let's go there now! Ga ja!"
"It's okay oppa, we're fine—" Jieun wasn't even able to completely voice out her refusal when Inna suddenly jumped up from Her pprevious position.
"That's a great idea Ji hoon-ssi!" she exclaimed as she started brushing off the sand that was sticking on her skin and clothes, while Jieun looked up at her in bewilderment. "Anyway, Jieuna mentioned earlier that she had something to discuss with Jung suk-ssi, so why don't we just go first?"
At this, Jieun's eyes grew even wider, and she gave Inna a pleading look for her to stay, but all Inna did was return her look with a smug expression before skipping her way to the two oblivious Ji Hoons and virtually dragging them out of the scene, leaving her and Jung Suk behind.
No one said a word as Jung Suk hesitantly walked up to her, and she allowed herself to get lost in the sound of the crashing waves, although that didn't stop her heart from missing a beat when their knees brushed against each other as he settled himself beside her. She could feel his eyes on her, yet she didn't dare return his glance for fear that he'd recognize the emotions that sure was written all over her face. Finally, he broke the silence "What was it that you wanted to talk about?"
"Oh that? Nothing really…I don't even know what Inna unni meant by it." She nonchalantly responded while absentmindedly sifting through the sand with her hand.
Jung Suk let out a long, overdrawn sigh before he responded "You didn't answer my call last night, or the night before. Is there something I should know?"
"It's nothing, I was just really busy…and tired" Once again, she tried her best to answer as coolly as she could, and focused herself on fumbling with the sand to hide the fact that she's trembling.
"Will you stop saying it's nothing?!" he exclaimed and suddenly his hand was on top of hers. "Jieuna, look at me. Tell me what's wrong." Hi insisted as his other hand slowly tilted her chin to meet his gaze.
She felt her self-control slowly ebbing away the moment their eyes met "I—I…" she stuttered as she used all her strength to avert her gaze from him "I just thought it would be best to stay away, because now with the drama over, I would have to let go of Soon Shin, and…and I can't do that if…if we keep doing this."
At this, he released her, and shifted his position to face the dark open sea before them. She glanced over to him and upon seeing his pensive look, couldn't help but feel her heart breaking once more into a million pieces. After some time, he took a deep breath, and closed his eyes before saying anything "I understand." He started. "If that's what you need to let go of Soon Shin, then I'll give it to you."
She huffed, and realized only then that she was holding her breath. She knew this was going to happen, and yet hearing him say it made it seem so…final. This was why she didn't want to talk about it. Talking about it would only rob her off of the slightest hope that she has been clinging on despite all her doubts. Now, she's just left with nothing. So this is what emptiness feels like. She wryly told herself.
She hastily stood up and brushed away the sand that was clinging unto her legs. She needed to get away from here—from him—and needed to do it fast, before the tears that were crowding her eyes start to break free. She was about to turn and leave when Jung Suk got hold of her wrist. "Will you let me finish?!" he muttered in a rather repressed tone, and got up to face her in one swift move. "If this is indeed what you need to let go of Soon Shin, then I'll give it to you. But…"he took one deep breath before he went on"…but if you're doing this to let go of me, then no! I'm not letting you!"
This made her look up to his dark, intense eyes, and finally, the tears that she was trying to hold back burst forth, along with the emotions that she's been trying so hard to suppress. "Wae?" she whispered as she forcefully pulled her wrist away from his grip. "You're not letting me, but you can't even stand the thought of kissing me? Aren't you just being greedy?!"
His face suddenly softened at her words. "That's what this is all about—the kiss?" He was looking at her differently now. One hand motioned to wipe her tears away, which she did not have the strength to avoid, while the other hand rested on her shoulders. "I rejected that scene because I didn't want our first kiss to be on screen."
His words and his sudden change of attitude caught her off guard, and only confused her more. "What first kiss are you talking about? We've already kissed so many times."
He looked at her in mock exasperation and cupped her face. "Oh Jieuna, those were not kisses. This one is…"
And just like that, his lips were on hers, but this time it didn't stop there. His lips softly moved to urge her own to part, and she helplessly obliged. And as he went on exploring—giving, taking—her own senses left her, one by one, until all she could feel and hear was him and her own heartbeat. He pulled her in closer to deepen the kiss—with one hand securing her waist while the other tracing patterns on her nape, and she had to wrap her arms around his neck to keep herself from drowning in the sensation. His lips felt so familiar, yet different. It's sweet yet exciting, and overall breathtaking. He was right; she's never felt anything like this before. This was a kiss.
He slowly, tenderly broke away from her, and when he did, she had to bite her lip to keep herself from reaching out to him for more. Then, he lightly knocked her forehead with his "Pabo ya! Do I have to kiss you like this for you to understand just how I feel for you?"
"I…"she stuttered, still feeling flustered from the kiss. "I thought you were doing it for the show…"
He tutted, then gave her one of his mischievous grins "I see you need more convincing..." He quipped before once again closing in on her lips.