Days fly by when you don't feel like living. When you sit somewhere on something for long periods of time your butt eventually falls asleep. Then every other body part until you're a tingling mass of numbness sitting there, breathing in and out, well I technically don't need to breath. Nor can I tingle, but it's the thought. I am a vampire.
My name is Edward Cullen. I am 136 years old this month. Bella, my love, has been dead for 20 years. She was killed by a nomad vampire while on a camping trip. The monster had no reason. We thought he would be a new friend when he walked up to us while we were sitting around the fire in our campsite. We had Jake and Nessie along so we had to camp. The monster had pretended that he was a loner and that he just wanted to converse with some people for once and when he smelled us he came running. He supposedly had been down in Antarctica for a while and was traveling up to Canada. I immediately went on the defensive, but Bella told me to chill (as she called it). I of course listened.
A few days later, Nessie and Jake were sleeping and Bella was thirsty. She wanted to go hunt quickly and I had to stay and watch over Jake and Nessie although they didn't need protection I still had to. The monster had gone with her (I had stupidly developed trust for him) and they never came back. I went out looking for them after a few hours and about 100 miles away I found a pile of ashes and a note. It was a note from the monster addressed to me. It read:
I am sorry I had to do this to you.
I was ordered to do this, by someone
I cannot name. Find me and kill me for what I have done,
and there will be consequences. If you do, my coven will find your
Family and rip them all to pieces. I promise you that.
No one else has to be hurt, Just Bella. I am sorry I cannot specify exactly why.
Best Regards, Jonathan Meyer Rubertz
I had gone insane from anger and grief, but I never went after the bastard. It took me a good 5 years to calm down.
12 years ago Rosalie and Emmet moved to Egypt to live with another clan. Rose and I had been fighting a lot after Bella's death. We got into some huge fights and Emmet decided to move Rose and him. Rose just didn't and still doesn't understand the amount of pain I am in. I loved Bella more than my own self, more than any person, object, or… okay just anything. She always thought I was being melodramatic. Alice and Jasper still live with us, but they are hardly home. Alice was struck with an insane amount of grief when Bella died as well and she spends her time at fashion shows and shopping more than anything. She checks in with us every month or so. As for Nessie, her and Jake have been married for about 15 years now. Nessie calls me every once in a while, but her and Jake have adopted a son and they are kept quite busy.
"Edward!!!" said Esme. She didn't actually say it, but thought it quite loudly, more so than absolutely necessary.
"Yes, Esme. What do you need?" I asked in a monotone voice. I was still sitting in the middle of the huge gold bed in my room while Esme tapped her foot in annoyance downstairs in the kitchen.
"I want you to stop meditating in that bed upstairs. All you do is sit up there. Please Edward, come down stairs. Carlisle and I need to speak to you," thought Esme. I sighed to myself and cracked open my eyes. I had been sitting on this bed, on the side Bella usually slept, for a full month now. That may seem like a long time for a human, but for a vampire it feels like a day or so.
"Coming," I mumbled with annoyance as I hopped off the bed onto the floor silently. I walked across the smooth plush carpeting and reached for the door handle. I wrenched open the door with more force than normal and it completely fell off. Wood splinters lay on the carpet while I held the door in my hand. I sighed and set the door on the floor and headed down the hallway. I ran down the stairs, across the living-room, and into the kitchen. All of this had just happened in a mere few seconds.
"We are starting to worry about you, Edward," thought Carlisle when I walked through the doorway that lead into the kitchen.
"Why? I promised Bella I would not go to the Volturi under any circumstances. I informed you guys that I would not be who I used to anymore. That is because my whole existence died 20 years ago," I sunk to the floor with a new wave of grief washing over me. Esme was at my side in a moment. She picked me up off the floor and pulled me into a fierce hug.
"Edward, we all miss Bella with all of our hearts. There is not one day that I do not think about her. She was the best person in the whole world. I know you are hurting really badly, but I think you need to start living life again. Please Edward?" Esme asked with an amazing amount of emotion in her voice. I sighed heavily into her shoulder and released her from the hug and stood on my own. I looked and both, Carlisle's and Esme's faces, I saw pain. I know me moping around doesn't help them, but I just can't be normal. I don't even play piano anymore. I took that and put it in Bella's cottage house. I just couldn't look at it anymore. All of Bella's belongings are stored there. I haven't been to the cottage since the day Bella died.
"I will try; maybe I will go to school again. No one should remember me. Everyone I knew graduated with Bella and I and I think they are long gone out of Forks. Do you think anyone would notice?"I asked Carlisle with general curiosity.
"No son, it has been a long time. I checked recently and all of your teachers have either moved or died. I also destroyed all of your past records with the school so you will be able to start as a freshman this year," said Carlisle with enthusiasm.