Chapter 1 - A Mother's Love
Despite the darkness, the Manor still exhibited majesty with its vast garden and tall pillars amidst acres and acres of land. It was similar to a small forest, if not for the fountain and the well-trimmed hedges. Its beauty and glory was now concealed by the gloom that permeated the place. The Manor never was a place that one could consider warm. Its splendor invited a person in, not to stay, but to marvel at its greatness. People were awed by the magnificence it boasted. Animals, especially birds, sought shelter and protection amongst the soaring trees, making the Manor their home as well. There were albino peacocks that constantly roamed around the place, acting like they owned it. The Malfoys took a liking to those particular birds because they thought they resembled the family well: pale, royal and authoritative. Months into the invasion of Death Eaters, the Manor - on the outside - was the same. It did not lose an inch of space and there was not a tree out of place, and yet it was entirely different. The Malfoys insisted that their home look the same at least on the outside. Despite the grandeur it possessed, something, maybe the evil that seeped through the walls, or the haunting silence that was only broken by shrill cries, drove the people, aside from Death Eaters, away. The Manor's newfound eeriness did its worst to the animals; whatever power it possessed sentenced the animals to their deaths. The regal albino peacocks that resembled them in so many ways were nowhere to be found.
Draco cautiously entered the doors, yearning for a sense of safety. But the place he once called home now reeked of dark magic and his ears were filled with screams from the tortured prisoners bellowing through the walls. Terror engulfed him. Dread enveloped his soul. He was horrified of the implications of his actions, of his hesitation that ultimately led to his failure. He did not expect to feel such trepidation upon entering his own home because after all, it was his haven. He did not know how he let it slip his mind that their once lovely Manor was now the headquarters of Death Eaters. Upon the realization, he wanted to flee, to disappear, to be eaten by the earth. He would have surrendered, let himself be consumed by the fear if not for the loving voice of his mother and Snape's death grip on him.
"My darling boy!" Narcissa cried in relief as she wrapped her arms around her son upon his arrival at the Manor with Severus after Dumbledore's death. Consolation was evident in her eyes as she searched for the man who saved her son and walked cautiously until she reached his side.
"I will be forever grateful to you, Severus. Thank you for helping my son, for saving him," Narcissa whispered to Severus while tears flowed from her eyes. Narcissa paused, "Although, I still have my concerns. I will speak with you ―"
Severus had released Draco from his grip the moment Narcissa wrapped her arms around her son and waited for the woman to finish what she wanted to say. He narrowed his eyes when the wait took longer than he expected. He attempted to leave the room, but was halted by Bellatrix's unsettling voice.
Howling winds and tortured cries seemed to announce Bellatrix's presence. Her paleness and emaciated body was illuminated by the dim light of the room. Her eyes screamed of madness but her face held a regal yet haunting beauty that compared to that of her sister's.
"Cissy, what were you whispering to Severus? Did you not know that he stole Draco's glory and your redemption by killing Dumbledore?" she hissed while eyeing Severus.
Severus pierced Bellatrix with his glare. "I refuse to explain myself to you, Bellatrix. I only answer to the Dark Lord." With that, Severus made to leave the room that was filling with tension between the two sisters.
"Stay, Severus," Narcissa paused and faced Bellatrix. "It is fitting, dearest sister. The job had to be done for Draco to be alive. Severus needed to fulfill the terms of the Vow for him not to die. I do not think that the Dark Lord would appreciate it if he lost one of his most faithful Death Eaters simply due to the fact that I begged him to help my son. Unless…"
"Unless what, Cissy?"
"Unless you want Draco and I to die." Narcissa's words were stern but laced with pain as she gazed at her sister.
"You are mistaken, Cissy. All I wanted was for Draco to be honored by the Dark Lord. There is nothing that I desire more than the redemption of your family in the Dark Lord's eyes. I long for the days when we were both respected in this circle." Bellatrix LeStrange was known for many things, but her love for her sister and her care for her nephew often escaped other people's scrutiny.
"Draco and I are alive. Dumbledore is dead. That is all that matters," Narcissa declared as she went back to her son to embrace him.
"Draco is alive but I am certain he will not stay that way," Bellatrix hissed and searched for Severus eyes.
"If you choose to go around threatening my son, I suggest you clarify, Bella." Narcissa held her son tighter and threw her sister an accusing look.
Bellatrix tried to preserve the compassion in her voice. "The Dark Lord desired to reach an end through Draco, but your son failed to comply with what the Dark Lord intended him to do." Bellatrix paused and inhaled, trying to keep her rage in check but yelled, "You, Severus, just killed my nephew!"
Draco was startled by Bellatrix's voice. His body began to tremble as the fear that he felt upon entering his home escalated to a new height. The tears that he was trying to hold back flowed from his eyes like rain. Narcissa's embrace tightened and Draco wished that his mother's hold could make him feel safe but despite the love that his mother tried to express, the fear was eating Draco alive.
Narcissa looked at Severus, her eyes searching for an explanation. "Is that a possibility?"
"You may hope against hope but I am afraid that for once, Bellatrix is correct." A trace of sympathy became evident in Severus' eyes as he gazed at Draco but his voice remained distant.
"You have to help me, Bella. I can't lose my son." Narcissa's body shook uncontrollably. Her breaths and her tears were overpowering her fragile body.
"I care for you, Cissy, and Draco being your son, I care for him as well, but there is nothing that I can do." Bellatrix paused and murmured, "Maybe you could ask to take Draco's life, to be certain that he does not suffer." Bellatrix gave her sister a small smile that seemed to accentuate the madness in her eyes. "Or I could do it. I promise not to make him suffer!"
"No! Nobody will kill my boy!" Narcissa yelled. She was shocked with herself with the sudden burst of emotions. She inhaled and said, "Nobody." She whispered and held Draco's hand, "Now if you will excuse me and my son. He needs to rest."
Narcissa could feel Draco's hand trembling in her own. She could hear his labored breathing and feel his suppressed cries. She wanted to give in to her own fears and tremble as much as him. She yearned for a release of the emotions that she was trying to contain but she was able to control herself. She remained strong. She tried with all of her power to appear that she was in total control of the situation when the truth was that she had no idea what she could do to save her son. She ignored all the emotions that were trying to claw out of her heart. She held Draco's hand tightly, wishing to give him a sense of security while she was around.
"My darling boy, I am so happy you are alive," Narcissa whispered. She tried for relief and glee to be apparent on her face as she led Draco to an empty room.
"Mother, I could not do it. I was standing in front of him. Dumbledore didn't have a wand, and mine was raised towards him. All I had to do was utter those two words and I could have had the honor; we could have been redeemed. I was a coward, Mother. Forgive me for failing you and Father." Draco put his hands on his face as he wailed desperately.
"Hush, my son. You did not fail me. I never wanted you to be a murderer. I know that you desperately want to be like your father, but you two are different. You have a good heart, Draco. I know because you came from me. I do not care if we're not redeemed, if we do not obtain the respect we used to have. I only care that you, my son, in your refusal to kill Dumbledore, have been redeemed. " Narcissa took Draco's hands from his face and looked into his eyes.
"How could I have been redeemed if death awaits me? Mother, he will kill me. You heard Aunt Bellatrix and Professor Snape! The Dark Lord will kill me. If he spares my life, I am sure Father will have me wishing I were dead. I failed! I ruined our only chance to atone for Father's errors. Now, the Dark Lord will punish our family all because of me. I am terrified, Mother!" Draco said as he trembled, tears still falling from his eyes.
"I will not allow him to kill you, my son. I am your mother and I will protect you. If Lucius does not come through for you, he will have me to answer to. Trust me. I will come back later, Draco. You need not worry about the Dark Lord for now." Narcissa kissed Draco on the forehead and left the room.
Draco trusted his mother but what power did she possess to avert the Dark Lord's and his father's fury? He could never escape his impending doom. He knew, in a matter of hours or days, he would be under the Dark Lord's clemency and the Dark Lord did not show mercy. He tried to close his eyes but when he did, all he saw were images of the Dark Lord torturing and killing his mother in front of him, warning him that he would be next. He fought; tried to shut his eyes and obtain the slumber that he needed. He tried to be brave, but he was no Gryffindor. He was a Slytherin, but he could not think of cunning ways to get out of this situation. Defeated, he opted to close his eyes, fully aware that in doing so he was welcoming unpleasant dreams and images that taunt his mind. He wished that upon arising, he would find that the hell he had been living was nothing but an ugly nightmare.
Narcissa was on the verge of tears, but she retained her composure and kept on walking. She could not show her weakness, at least not yet. She needed to appear brave to be in control of the situation. She put on a valiant face, hiding her apprehension. Narcissa loved Draco even more than her life. She thought, 'What mother would not sacrifice everything to save her son?' But guilt followed. She knew from the beginning that the Dark Lord would ask for their son, but she was too afraid to save him, to free him from the ties that bound her and Lucius. She feared for her own life. She was selfish. If anything were to happen to Draco, it would be her fault because she knew better, while Lucius was deluded by his insane ideals. She would never forgive herself. Perplexed by her own thoughts, she missed the room that she was looking for by a few steps. She stopped outside the door for a moment, took a deep breath, and stepped inside.
Narcissa walked into the room where Severus was "Severus, a moment in private, please."
Severus cast a Muffliato while Narcissa did her piece of magic to ensure the privacy of the room. The fear and worry was evident on Narcissa's face, while only indifference was prominent in Severus'.
"I think many people fail to notice how perceptive and powerful I am as a witch." Narcissa held her stern gaze upon Severus and then continued, "People deem me weak because my husband has failed the Dark Lord countless times. I do not get the respect I deserve because I choose to live in Lucius' shadow. I could be as recognized as Bella if I wanted to, but I do not desire that, Severus." Narcissa paused. "The Black family has always been certain of their stand about the purity of blood. I adhered to that because I did not want the same fate as Andromeda. When Lucius came home one night and told me all about pureblood supremacy and the Dark Lord, I did not say a word. I supported him like any good wife. "
"What are you trying to insinuate, Narcissa?" Severus interrupted, his eyebrows narrowed.
"Let me finish, Severus." She paused. "I did not care. I supported the so-called cause, stood idly by as Death Eaters inflicted havoc on both sides of the world. I have shared my fortune, my house and my name, but your Lord has decided that my son is the best payment for my husband's shortcomings. There is a limit to what I can give. I will not allow him to take Draco. Draco is only a boy. My boy!" Narcissa spat. Her words were lined with venom, revealing the Slytherin that she was.
"Are you questioning the Dark Lord?" Severus moved towards Narcissa with such viciousness, expecting her to back down.
Narcissa did not even flinch. She even smiled at Severus for his demonstration of ferocity.
"Your attempt at rage insults me, Severus. I am not afraid of you. You can scream, hiss and burn me with your eyes, but I would not even flinch at your displays of anger. I know your secret. Take Draco. Surrender him to the Order. There, he will be safeguarded. The Order of the Phoenix may be the enemy but those self-proclaimed protectors do not have it in them to take a boy's life. In our own home, my son is in mortal peril. Keep him safe. Take him to the enemy."
Severus was astonished with Narcissa's words. It took him a few seconds to fire his retort. "You want me to surrender your son, whom I just saved from the enemy?"
"You do not have to act around me, Severus. You are doing them a tremendous favor. Draco will be cared for." Narcissa let her stare linger for Severus to understand how serious she was.
"Narcissa, perhaps you have forgotten that I am a murderer, that I killed Dumbledore? I did the job that was supposed to be your son's. When you came to me for help, you had complete faith and now you are implying… What is it exactly?" Severus, with the smallest breath he could manage, turned his back to Narcissa and took a few steps away from the woman.
There was a small panic rising within Severus. Bellatrix had always doubted him, but it was expected because of her worship of the Dark Lord. Even when Narcissa asked for his help to aid Draco, Bellatrix doubted her. Only the unbreakable vow had pacified the woman. Severus had always perceived Narcissa as the sane one amongst the two. He did not expect that Narcissa would question his loyalty for the Dark Lord, especially when he did everything in his power to help the boy, even killing Dumbledore. Confusion started to creep upon his face but within a matter of seconds, it was gone.
"The real reason why you killed Dumbledore is beyond me, but as I've said, I am grateful, and always will be. That does not remove the actuality that you are what you are and I am aware of it." She walked up to Severus and looked him in the eye. "I know that I owe you enough for saving my son's soul and I would never know how to show my gratitude, but I need you to keep him safe. Nobody will know, Severus. I have known for a while and I did not tell a single human being. I just need you to keep Draco out of harm's way." For a moment, Narcissa lost her impeccable stance. She let out a sigh as fear and panic crept upon her gaze, and then tears fell from her eyes. "Please, Severus. I can't lose him. Please."
Severus looked away. He remembered his dread when he found out that Voldemort was going to kill Lily and for a moment, he was lost in his own thoughts. The fear that he felt fought its way back to his heart, immediately followed by the pain that lingered in his being. Once again, the guilt for being the reason why she lost her life found its way into his consciousness. He turned his back and walked, despite the trembling of his body. All the emotions he had kept hidden threatened to manifest themselves. He swallowed, wishing that through that act, his emotions would once again be hidden behind the façade that he had built for years.
Narcissa chased after Severus and upon reaching him, she went down on her knees and held on to his robes. "Please, Severus. Please. I can't have him kill my boy."
Severus helped Narcissa up, and when they were face to face, he gave her a piercing look. "I killed Dumbledore. I am afraid I already lost my right to ask favors from the Order, Narcissa."
"Please, Severus. Please." Narcissa held Severus' hands so tightly, they started to pale.
"I killed Dumbledore, Narcissa. Despite what you believe of my loyalty, I am certain that the Order despises me and would give everything to avenge their leader. You also must remember that Draco may be your boy, but in their eyes, he is not so innocent anymore considering the destruction that he caused in Hogwarts tonight. The Order may not kill him, but I am afraid after all that has happened, they will not be as lenient on him as you desire. There is no way for me to do what you ask." He paused. "My hands are tied, Narcissa. Believe me when I say that I want to save Draco. I want him to escape this hell that you and Lucius trapped him in, but there is no way that I can." Severus' voice remained cold and indifferent. His face still masked all the emotions that the situation stirred.
Narcissa let out a cry of anguish. "No, Severus! There must be a way! My son can't stay here! Surely, Voldemort will kill him!" Torment was becoming more and more apparent in Narcissa's voice. "Tell me what I must do, Severus. Tell me!"
"I am afraid you already know what to do, Narcissa, and there's nothing that I can do to help." With his final words, Severus left Narcissa alone in her anguish.