Somethings in life happen in a blink: Love, Loss, Heartbreak, Sorrow.
I was wondering around the village just thinking, I didn't want to think but my brain was in overdrive, it simply would not stop. I could hear people all around me doing their day to day activities. It was getting a little cold and I suppose I ought to go home but the thing is I really didn't want to go home, I say home but it's not my home, it's my Dad's flat. I didn't consider it home, it was simply a place to eat and sleep. Dad's judging eyes were too much for me to handle and I couldn't take it much long.
My thoughts were suddenly broken, which was welcome, anything to stop me thinking about the mess my life has quickly become.
"Sienna" called a mysterious voice.
I turned to look and saw none other than my Dad. I loved him but sometimes he annoyed me with his overprotective ways, he mollycoddled me when I was a kid and he still does. I am not a kid anymore.
"Oh... hey Dad" I replied, I didn't want a lecture right now. I just wanted to feel safe...
Safe
Safe
Safe... Dodger
That is the only thing that comes to mind when I want to feel safe... loved!
"Sorry Dad can't stop" I shouted.
I dashed off, very aware of the shouts of my name but I didn't stop, no, I set of to the one place I felt able to be myself, free...
Mark Savage, my brother, or Dodger as people around here call him. I didn't see him as a brother, I saw him as much, much more but I had to keep it a secret because it was wrong, very wrong to feel the way I did.
Yes, I, Sienna Blake have feelings for my brother which is why nobody can know, they will see it as sick, twisted, wrong! But is falling in love wrong?
It's true; I am unconditionally uncontrollably and irrevocably in love with my brother... twin brother might I add. If things weren't bad enough already.
I found myself at the door of his boat now. My head was jumbled with thoughts. Why was I here? Would he ever feel the same way? Is he even in? What if he is taking a nap? This was stupid, so stupid. Why did I even think I should come here in the first place?
I rose my hand to the door, ready to knock but I changed my mind at the last second however fate had different plans.
Unbeknownst to me Dodger had already seen me.
He opened the door.
"Sienna?" he questioned.
I turned around to meet a topless Dodger.
Perfect! He was perfect. Standing there looking like a greek good.
"Sienna, did you hear me?"
...
"Sienna? Are you alright?" Dodger asked again.
"Wh... What, I mean yes I'm fine" I dazedly replied, I was distracted, confused with all my feelings.
This happens every time he is near me, my brain goes to mush and I feel a want, a need for him, my brother, it's forbidden, dirty and wrong but I can't shake the feeling of pure desire I get for him, only him.
"You don't look fine, you look like you are struggling with something, come inside, Dirk is out, we can chat" he said. He reached out for my hand, that was it, all I needed, all I wanted. I felt safe at last.
"Make yourself at home, I'll just go and put a shirt on" he said.
"You don't have to" I said.
I don't know what came over me, I didn't engage my brain before speaking which happens a lot when I am around him. I simply said want my heart wanted.
He looked at me with a weird expression on his face, one that I could not place.
Suddenly I felt a warm presence beside me where I sat. I looked beside me and saw Mark, he was still topless. Damn him. I couldn't think straight with him so close but I could not bring myself to move away.
"Talk to me, tell me what is bothering you. Let me help... please, what do you want?" he asked me. This was it... my only chance to let him know how I feel. You can do it.
"You" I said so quietly that I thought he had not heard. I felt so foolish, tears started to form, I tried my hardest to stop them from falling and to my surprise I succeeded.
"What did you say?" Dodger questioned in no more than a whisper.
I took all my strength I had left from the weeks of scheming and plotting and said...
"I WANT YOU" I practically yelled it to him; I was desperate for him to understand.
I could see him processing what I said. I felt sick, sick because I knew it was wrong, sick with fear of being rejected.
"You feel it to?" he asked
By now my gathered tears had fallen.
"I do..."
"hey hey don't cry" he spoke gently. He wiped my tears away with the pad of his thumb and whispered "it's alright babe"
I started to freaked out... he felt the same. Could he love me back? The fact that he was still shirtless was not helping... I wanted him so badly, he felt the same way but it was still wrong, forbidden.
"How is it okay?" I shouted. More tears flowed down my cheeks. I was crying hysterically now.
I looked at him with my tear stained face and said "I have these feelings that are wrong, I know they are but I still have them and they feel so right. What can I do about it hey, nothing, there is nothing I can do" I was yelling now, yelling and crying. I was a mess.
He reached out and stroked my cheeks.
Next he did something I would never have anticipated...
He kissed me.
It felt amazing; time seemed to stand still for a moment. It was gentle; slow, sweet, the definition of passionate.
I could smell the sweet smell of his cologne. It drove me crazy. My hands wondered to his bare chest, I could feel his defined muscles under my fingertips; I explored his naked upper half, touching every inch of his bare skin. His skin felt so silky smooth, I wanted more.
I felt as if a weight had been lifted, finally he knew how I felt and he felt the same but no matter what I always had the nagging feeling at the back of my mind, it's wrong, very wrong, he is your brother.
He broke the kiss first and he could see I was starting to freak out again so he gave me a quick peck on the lips then he pulled away.
He grabbed my hand and gave it a gentle reassuring squeeze.
I felt happy, content for the first time in weeks.
"I didn't think I would feel these things again" he said in a breathy voice "not after Texas" I looked at him and he smiled kindly as if saying it was okay, he continued... "When Texas died I felt numb, I thought that was it for me, my chance at happiness gone but then I started to feel things I only ever felt once before and they were for you" Me.
When I realised he wasn't going to say more I said "But everything I've done, how can you even like me, I've acted like such a cow"
He stroked my cheek again.
"Don't say that, you are not a cow, you're beautiful, just a little misunderstood but who isn't? I don't agree with the things you did but I don't hate you, I could never hate you. I think I'm falling in love with you"
"I love you" I said in a brittle voice.
Dodger stood up, I wondered what he was doing then I saw, his outstretched hand reaching out for mine, I took it without hesitation, I trusted him.
He led me to the bedroom, his room. It smelled like him, it was a little small because of it being on a boat. A double bed lay in the middle of the room
I looked at him for a moment, "we don't have to do this" he stated. I raised my eyebrow at him. I knew what I wanted. I wanted Dodger.
I kissed him quickly and took my top off and threw it somewhere in his room, I proceeded to push him on the bed telling him I wanted this.
I reached for his belt buckle but before I could make quick work of it he rolled us over so he was on top.
"Patience" he whispered to me in a low seductive tone.
He kissed my lips once then started on a downwards journey, stopping at my neck to suck and tease a little. He better not leave a mark I thought. He gently bit down and suddenly all rational thoughts were gone.
"Dodger, you can't, you can't leave a mark" I said but my voice was shallow and laced with arousal. He was driving me crazy and we hadn't even got to the best bit yet.
"Relax baby, I promise nobody will suspect a thing" he reassured me.
He continued down my body leaving a trail of kisses along the way, he skillfully unclasped my bra and I flung it somewhere in the room. When he got to my belly button he dipped his tongue in.
He reached my jeans and looked up at me with a grin on his face. I bit my lip and gave him a slight nod of approval.
He flicked the button open quickly and pulled the zipper down. We were actually doing this.
I lifted myself slightly so he could pull my jeans down, he pushed them down my legs and I kicked them of the rest of the way, discarding them somewhere in his room along with my bra and top.
He was staring intently up the length of my body. Feeling overly confidant I said "Like what you see?"
"You're so beautiful" he said, making my blush.
He crawled up the bed and captured my lips in his. I could feel his tongue asking for entrance which I gladly accepted.
The kiss grew hot and passionate within seconds, I let out a breathy moan. God the things this man could do with his tongue.
I flipped us over hurriedly and quickly rid him of his jeans and boxers. I couldn't take it any longer, I needed him now.
He pulled my panties down and I kicked them to the floor.
Suddenly I remembered something...
"Wait, Protection?"
He reached into the side drawer of his bedside table and pulled out a condom. He impatiently tore into the packet and slipped the condom on.
He positioned himself at my entrance, teasing my slightly before pushing into me, filling me. I arched my back and sighed heavily. Dodger let out a soft groan. He stilled to give me time to adjust to his size. Boy was he big. He felt amazing, heavenly. I started moving signalling that I was okay and he started moving. We found our rhythm. Perfect. We fit together so perfectly it was like we were made for each other. God, I loved this man.
"Faster... Harder... Faster..." I moaned
Dodger found a fast pace, hitting spots inside me that nobody had ever hit before. My hands were in his hair, slowly they moved to his back, scraping and clawing. The pleasure he was giving me was so intense that I couldn't think clearly. The only thing I could think of was right here right now with Dodger. My Dodger.
I moved my leg and Dodger moaned causing me to smile to myself. The angle we were now at was creating more pleasure for us both.
"Fuck... Sienna... you're amazing" Dodger said in a raspy voice.
I could feel I was getting closer and so could Dodger because he spoke, "come for me baby". That was all it took, I came with a load moan of his name and Dodger followed seconds after. The room began to spin from the most intense orgasm of my life.
After we both regained our breaths I pulled Dodger to me and kissed him deeply, passionately on the lips, the kiss was hot and soon turned into much more than an innocent kiss.
2 hours later...
We lay tangled up in each others arms, recovering from our last round of love making. I was thinking too much. What have we just done? Will he regret it all tomorrow? Is it just too complicated? Am I really in love with my own brother?
I turn on my side and just stared, stared into space, so caught up in my worries that I failed to notice Dodger's piercing green eyes looking intently at me.
"What's up?" he questioned.
"Nothing" I simply said.
"Don't try to fob me off with that babe, I know something is bothering you"
"So now you know me all of a sudden"
He looked hurt, I felt so bad for snapping like that but things were complicated. They didn't really get anymore complicated than this.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, please... I'm sorry, don't leave me"
"It's okay, I know, I do, it's complicated but it's so simple... I love you and you love me yeah?" he said
"Yes" I beamed at him, a thousand watt smile. I could see love in his eyes, shining back at me like stars of the night, that's when I knew...
We would stick together through the good times and the bad. He loved me.