Damon's heart was so torn. He was overjoyed that his Elena was finally alive and with him and he could not get enough of her; looking at her, feeling her, kissing her, wanting so much to taste her more and be alone with her.
But he also felt so unbelievably broken. He wanted his brother to see his joy and be there to welcome Elena back. He wanted Stefan to be a part of his now human life. He had no idea what he would say at the funeral that Caroline and he had planned. He felt so many emotions, so much grief and pain, and yet just feeling Elena's hand in his he could not help but smile.
It was a shaky, hesitant smile, not full like his Elena had seen before. The morning after they had made love for the first time, he had smiled so raw and real and it was him without masks on. He had just been over the moon happy seeing her laying in his bed beside him. She had been wearing his shirt, barely buttoned up, her bra, and lace panties very visible and so sexy.
She had ripped his shirt apart the night before to get it off him when they had been madly and passionately kissing in the parlor, finally giving into the feelings that had been burning like lava in their hearts for so long. And his dark dress shirt only had two buttons that closed, allowing him to feast on the sight of her delicious body. He remembered how she looked like she was glowing standing there by his bathroom with the beautiful smile on her face as she tilted her head to the side, before she ran and jumped back into bed with him.
He felt that kind of joy right now but the pain and the grief made it so hard to know how he should be feeling. Like he was betraying Stefan by smiling at all on the day they were all laying him to rest.
Elena looked up at him as they stepped out of the crypt and he could tell she was worried about him. She turned him around toward her, blocking out their friends heading back to them and brought her hands up to his face.
"Hey," she said softly as she smoothed his hair from his eyes. "You don't have to be strong for anyone. Just feel Damon, just this once...soak in your humanity, your brand new human feelings and just do and say whatever you feel led to."
He nodded at her and felt tears wanting to pool in his eyes again. God, he needed her so much now. She knew exactly what to say, knew what he needed more than he did.
"No one will judge you for anything you do, I promise. We are all hurting. But cry, sob, scream, kiss me, throw things, take a drive, drink your most expensive bourbon, take me against the wall hard, or make love to me slow and sweet."
He smiled a bit more at that thought but stayed quiet listening to her.
"Or just let me hold you all night long, and talk about your good memories with Stefan. Or don't talk at all. Or if you want to be left alone.."
"No," he said without a thought ."I want to be with you and I love you. That is the only thing I know right now." That was exactly what he thought. Everything else was a blur of messy feelings.
"Okay, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, ever. I am yours. I love you too Damon."
She smiled, stroked his face and he smiled back, feeling a sob in his throat and he moaned at her touch, leaning into her palm.
"Do whatever you need to get through this day. I want to be whatever you need Damon. I can't imagine how you must be feeling, burying your only brother."
He was nodding more and his hands went on top of hers on his face. He was so grateful she was there. He felt like he might have just curled up in a ball on his bed and disappeared from the world without her support. "I'll try, baby. I just need you," he whispered hoarsely as he pulled her into his arms. Her arms went around his waist instantly and he felt a groan rumble up his throat at the peace he felt just holding her.
She pulled back after a few minutes of holding him close, and then standing up on her tip toes she pulled his lips to hers. He opened his mouth to her and let the peace of her presence sooth his pain. Kissing her, feeling her lips so warm and so pliant against his was like a wave of tranquility through the fire of the ache in his heart for his brother.
He wound his fingers in her silky, chestnut hair and leaned in closer to her as he felt a single tear slip from his eye. She opened her eyes and her lips moved to kiss the tear as it past his lips and settled on his jaw.
"Just promise me one thing," Elena insisted. He nodded right away. "Promise me you will be safe." Her eyes bore into his, her tone serious and intense. "You are my human now. My only human and you can get hurt and not heal anymore. No more vamp healing or even vampire blood to heal either of us. So whatever you do, promise me you will be safe."
He sniffled and felt more tears slipping down his cheeks. He turned away from her and moved his hand up to brush them away, hating how emotional he had been all week. No one would believe after his blubbering in bed, crying in her hair, the dozens of times he had revisited the tunnel where Stefan had died and sobbed on the blackened ground that he ever was a powerful immortal vampire.
She caught his hand in hers, her look scolding him already. "Feel, Damon. Don't hide from me."
He turned back to her. "I'll try," he said again. "And I promise I will be safe."
Her lips turned up in a soft smile and she looked satisfied with his answer. "I could not handle it when my brother died and you got me to turn it off. We don't have that kind of option anymore. We have to face the feelings and get through them together or they could drown you and take you away from me. So please whatever you do, let me be there for you."
"I will," he nodded again reassuring her, his head down by her neck, his arms around her. He realized how right she was that they could not avoid and hide from the pain. She had burned down her house with her brother's body still inside she was in so much pain. That was how crazy that loss made her. He was so happy he had her now to calm the insanity he was feeling.
"Are you okay for a bit so I can see Caroline?" she mumbled against his cheek.
He cupped her face in his hands and nodded silently to her, leaning his forehead on hers. She smiled back at him softly. He slid his hands down her bare arms and as his fingers tangled with hers again squeezing her palms. Part of him did not want to let go.
She brushed her lips against his once more. "Are you sure? I can stay with you."
He cleared his throat and unclasped her hand for her to greet her best friend again. "Go, its okay," he said giving a halfhearted smile. "She needs you too."
Elena, ran the palm of her hand across his cheek and he leaned in to her touch again, never getting enough and closed his eyes.
"I'll be right back," she promised squeezing his hand once more and moved away seeing Caroline standing a ways back with a big weepy smile on her face.
She took long strides toward her and wrapped her arms around her tightly. The friends just held each other and no words were needed.
Once Caroline pulled back she had more tears in her eyes. "I'm SO happy you are alive Elena," she cried. She reached over and Bonnie joined them in the hug and they just held each other as tears slipped from their cheeks.
Elena sniffled and straightened up. "Caroline, I can't imagine how much you are hurting." Her friend nodded as a sob escaped her throat. "You married Stefan the day he died Damon said. God Care, I am so, so sorry." Elena was crying freely now too.
Caroline sucked in another sob as tears streamed down her cheeks. "I miss him so much. We had so little time." Both girls hugged more and cried together. Bonnie wrapped her arms around both of them.
Damon felt the tears slip down his cheeks too and he moved the short distance to wrap his arms around all three of the most important women in his life. Elena tucked herself against him under his arm, her arm around his waist. His sister in law was sobbing against his other shoulder and his best friend looked up at him with red, puffy eyes and leaned her head against his. He knew she was thinking too of the time that she was robbed of with Enzo.
It didn't feel fair that after everything, he had Elena to comfort him and he had been given his future with her by his brother's sacrifice. They had a future, could have a family together and Bonnie and Caroline lost the love of their lives.
But then he had an idea, something that might help ease the pain even a little. He backed away from them looking at Elena. "Baby, are you okay for a bit? I have a couple things to do and I think we should wait till tonight to have the memorial."
"Sure Damon, whatever you and Care want. I would love to just catch up with them anyway for awhile." She put her arms around both of her besties and they both rested their heads on her shoulders.
Damon smiled at the sight of them all together and was so happy they had each other. Caroline was nodding too that it was fine to wait. "I won't be long. I just need to make a couple calls." He bent to kiss Elena on the forehead and she smiled and felt another tear slip down her cheek.
They all watched him walk away and Elena sighed and looked back and forth at her friends. She remembered something and pulled Caroline to sit down on the log behind them and Bonnie sat too. She held her friends hands in hers as she looked up at her. "I have no idea how it worked but I saw Stefan before I woke up. Like we were in between worlds. He told me what he did and that he had saved Damon for me. But he was so sad for you Care." She saw her best friend shake with more tears falling. "I need you to know. Stefan said something to me before we parted."
Caroline eyes were locked on hers, her eyes red, her cheeks wet with more tears.
"He told me that one day when I wake up, tell Caroline I heard her. And I will love her forever too."
Caroline smiled, her face tight with pain but also full of wonder. "He got my message," she whispered. Elena nodded crying and Caroline kept nodding as a small laugh escaped and then another and soon laughing turned back into tears. Elena could see she was so happy and yet so broken at the same time. Her and Bonnie both hugged her close, rested their heads against hers.
After a few minutes they all sat back up wiping their faces. Elena had so many questions. "So I don't even know how long its been or what has all happened. Can you guys tell me anything? Everything? Or is this a bad time? I totally understand if you don't want to today."
The blonde vampire wiped her nose and smiled at her. "We journaled for you. Both of us and Ric, Matt, and Stefan. So much has happened but its only been close to 4 years since you..."
Elena sucked in a breath. Only four years! She had said good bye to Bonnie, Matt, Ric, Tyler and Jer even thinking she would never see them again. They were still alive! She could not contain her joy. "Oh my God, Care. Only 4 years! Are Matt and Jer okay?"
Caroline nodded at her. Yes, Matt's actually been sheriff for Mystic Falls for awhile. He graduated the academy shortly after you fell asleep."
Elena thought back. "I remember Ric's wedding and walking up the aisle with Damon… and then oh God... Jo and the babies…?" Her hands were shaking as she clasped them together.
Caroline and Bonnie both looked down right then. Elena knew then that it was bad. She hardly remembered anything of that day; just bits and pieces. Talking with Damon, and feeling like they got married when he told her he decided to take the cure and then having sex up in the hayloft. Then Damon hearing the music that the wedding procession was already starting.
"I remember Ric and Jo at the alter and then seeing Jo convulsing when there was nothing there." She felt the rush of feelings crash into her like it was happening all over again. "It was Kai!" she gasped. "I couldn't get to Damon or know what to do and then there was just pain, screams, blood and crashes and everything went black."
Caroline put her hand onto Elena's to steady her. "It was bad, really bad. Ric lost Jo and Kai killed the whole Gemini coven."
Elena sank down, hanging her head. "Oh my god! But she was pregnant. He lost all of them? His whole family?" She was crying now again for Ric and could not fathom his pain. "How did he...how could anyone…?" She didn't know what to say.
Bonnie looked at her too and put her hand on hers too. "Kai almost killed me too Elena. And Damon was so torn knowing that my life was tied to yours. But Damon killed him. He is gone forever."
"Super long story that we will have time for another day but there was one bright spot in that day," Caroline continued. Elena looked back up at her curiously. It sounded like literal hell on earth. How could anything good have come of it?
"The Gemini protected the babies with a spell and literally transferred them to save them."
Elena's face scrunched up. "Transferred them? How? I don't understand."
"Yeah well neither did we. But we found out awhile later that they were in me." Caroline rubbed her belly like she was remembering carrying the babies.
Elena nearly fell off the log they were sitting on. "They what? You…were pregnant?"
Caroline smiled so broadly. "I was. I had beautiful twin baby girls. Alaric and Jo's babies."
"Oh wow, that is incredible Care!" Elena smiled sniffling back the tears from all the painful memories. "Are they here? Can I meet them?" she asked.
Caroline laughed and smiled. "Yes you can. They would SO love you Auntie Elena." She leaned her head down to Elena's shoulder. "I never dreamed that I would actually be able to be a mom after I turned into a vampire. I had totally given up on that possibility."
"I wish I could have been there to see you like...waddle and not be able to get up off the couch or not be able to see your feet and whine about food cravings!" Elena laughed at her.
Caroline made a face at her. "Ohh darling you will get your chance to experience ALL of the aches and pains and cravings when you and Damon have babies!" She stuck her tongue out at her and laughed.
Bonnie laughed too and smiled at them. "You guys will be such adorable parents, Elena. Can you just imagine Daddy Damon." She was grinning at them raising her eyebrows.
Elena sat up straighter and closed her eyes trying to picture the love of her life as a dad. "Hmm the first image I see when I think about that is him is laying and talking to my belly." She beamed at the girls and swooned just imagining him kissing her stomach and smiling up at her as he talked to their baby. "And then I can see him helping me pick out shoes when I can't see my feet."
"I wore two different shoes one day when I couldn't see my feet!" Caroline burst in. "Ric has been such an amazing help but you and Damon will be just….wow."
Elena sighed and smiled. "Mmm I know I can't wait. I mean I can, but I can't. I can see him rubbing my back after a long day and running to The Grill to get me ice cream and pickles at midnight! And the best image I can already see is Damon cradling our baby and rocking them on his bare chest and singing them to sleep." She sighed again. "God, that sounds so surreal."
"But I can't think like that now. He needs to grieve, just like you do Care. All of us. I can't think of the future at least that far in the future yet."
They both nodded in agreement. Caroline smiled again, her eyes glassy. "But it was so nice to laugh Lena. I have been crying for days. You guys always know how to make me laugh."
Elena frowned feeling so bad that she had not been there for her sooner and put her arms around Caroline again. She liked how lighthearted things had been too. Talking with them like this it was like she had never left.
"So where are the girls? When can I see them?" She tried to keep the mood lighter amidst all the pain and sadness.
"Ric has them at the house and they are napping. It's been a crazy week and they have been so wiped out. Their names are Lizzie and Josie."
Elena just melted at the proud momma look on her best friends face. "Awe. That is amazing. You named one after your mom. She would have been such an amazing grandma. I'm so sorry she can't be there for you and the girls."
Caroline let out a sob at that. "Actually Ric named her after my mom. I know. I miss her so much Elena. So much and now losing Stefan just feels like I can't take it. I turned my humanity off because the pain of losing my mom was overwhelming and I don't think I would even want to go on now if it wasn't for my girls."
Elena turned to Bonnie. "Thank you so much for being here for her when I couldn't be." Bonnie nodded at her. "Us girls need to stick together. Like sisters."
They all smiled. "Sisters," Caroline and Bonnie mumbled too, leaning their heads together.
Elena turned to Bonnie. "So what about you? Nothing as exciting as having twins or has there been?" She smiled at her. She sensed the mood darken almost instantly and looked back and forth between them. "What, what happened?"
Bonnie's lip began to quiver and Elena was really scared to know what happened to her.
"I'm paying for her to take a world tour," a smooth velvety voice carried through the wind.
Elena turned around seeing Damon coming toward them again. She jumped up and ran into his arms. He had only been gone a little while, but she had not seen him in years and just longed for his touch, his voice, his kisses, the scent of him near her.
Damon pulled her into his arms and kissed the top of her head tenderly. "Bon hadn't told you yet? She has big plans." He knew they should just avoid the whole Enzo insanity especially today with Stefan's funeral.
Elena looked to her friend and she could tell that there was something else, something sad but they were trying to keep her from it. "That's great Bon. Sounds so exciting. Tell me more. Tell me how you have been doing these last 4 years."
Damon held up his finger, knowing this was going to be to much for her. "Elena you look exhausted. I know you just woke up but you should rest." She was already shaking her head at him. "No baby. At least for a little while. There is so much to tell you. We all have so much to tell you, but hearing it all at once will overwhelm you. Trust me."
He saw her nod slowly, looking down at the ground and he lifted her head so her eyes were level with his. He gave her a half smirk. "Oh C'mon pouty. We have our whole lives together. Just let me take care of you. The way I have wanted to for 4 years. I wanted to take the cure that night and be human with you." He lifted his eyebrows and smiled at her. "So please let me. And you can take care of me too."
She could not help but smile at him and how protective and cute he was being. Human sure looked strange on him, but adorable all the same. "Okay Damon, okay. You win." She saw Care and Bonnie smiling their agreement. "But promise me I will get to see Caroline and Ric's little girls yet today, and Matt. And is Tyler in town too?"
Damon nodded and hid the deep sadness that he would have to tell her that he actually had killed Tyler. But not now. Now he just wanted to take her to rest. "I promise baby. Matt and Ric and the munchkins will meet us later."
He tangled her fingers with his again happy she was agreeing with him. "Lead the way Salvatore," she motioned. Elena smiled back at her friends and they looked like they were going to head back maybe to rest too.
They arrived at the boarding house a few minutes later. Neither of them could vamp speed anymore and walking and running at human speed felt so weird. Elena even looked across the dashboard and saw he wasn't even speeding. And he had made sure her seat belt was on before he started the car.
They had driven in comfortable silence. She leaned her head on his shoulder and he had rubbed his hand on her bare leg giving her shivers.
He stepped back into his bedroom finding her hand again and watched her looking around. He pulled her to him and brushed his lips against hers. Her breathing picked up but he was saddened that he could not hear it the same as he could as a vampire. He loved that about who he was. He leaned his forehead against hers feeling his human heart pounding so hard too.
She lifted her hand and placed it on his chest and stared deeply in his eyes. "I know," she breathed. "It feels so different doesn't it." She lifted his hand and laid his palm over her heart too.
His breath was heaving out of him more. He wanted her so much. The anticipation of being with her again was driving him a little crazy in his head. "It feels amazing," he rasped out, their foreheads still together and their eyes locked on each other.
He took in a long deep breath, just basking in her scent, her touch, her love. He groaned deep in his throat and closed his eyes. "Mmm baby, you feel so good." His lips fell to her cheek and he teased her skin with his warm wet kisses. She whimpered in his arms as he kissed down her cheek and along her jaw, pressing her body against one of his tall bed posts. He buried his head in the crook of her neck and kissed along her throat. She was breathing just a hard now, her chest pushing against his hard body.
He buried his fingers in her hair, as he moved to capture her lips again. They were so warm, so welcoming and she opened for him right away her mouth hard on his, her tongue seeking his. He heard a quiet moan as he felt her hands up cradling his head to her too and at that moment all he wanted to do was never stop kissing her. Her soft, warm lips were bringing his aching, tired, empty body back to life.
Damon hands slid down her back, caressing her hips, mold them between his long fingers on top of the delicate fabric of her dress. He felt her hands slip down to his shirt and start to undo the buttons and he knew he needed to stop this before it went to far.
"I can't. Not now," he whispered quietly taking her hands in his and holding them against his chest.
He backed away from her lips and pulled her with him to the bed. Her eyes were glazed with lust and he shook his head as much as he wanted to have her. "Please understand..." he tried.
She looked almost sad. "I want you, Elena. I do SO much. I have missed you like crazy and its been agonizing living, even breathing without you. But I want to take my time when we are together I want to ravish you. My head is full of heartache right now and I want to give you all of me. Not just the part that is not longing for and realizing I just lost the only family I had left.
She put her hands on his face, stroking his cheeks. "Okay Damon, I understand I do. I want to be here however you need me. However I can help."
He smiled at her knowing she would understand. "Just hold me please," he uttered, his voice laced in sadness. "Just lay with me and let me hold you too. That is all I need. I will get through tonight with you by my side. But I haven't had a good sleep in years."
She crawled on the bed beside him and snuggled him into her embrace. She lay on her side and curled herself around him, touching him everywhere she could. His arm was draped over her body and he nuzzled his head deep against her neck. Her arms went around his back holding him tight and she kissed his dark hair, running her fingers through the silky black strands while breathing in his scent.
He moaned against her throat. "Mmm baby, this is just perfect. You are heaven to my hell right now."
And then he started shaking and the sobs came again. The loss, the pain, the memory of Stefan saying 'Goodbye brother', the hatred in his brother's eyes as he held Katherine up, glaring that she was taking his future away. The ache he felt when he hugged him for the last time. And then feeling like he was being torn in two watching Stefan walk away from them in the dream state that he found him and Elena in.
She held him and rocked him in her arms, whispering soothing words in his ear. And soon he was quiet and they laid still and fell asleep wrapped around each other for the first time in years.
A/N: So are you liking it so far? Should I continue? I wasn't sure with the show over that readers would fall away and lose interest in the characters.
Stefan's memorial will be the next story with a few surprise guests. Damon's feelings just get too complicated and take a while to pour out. I knew the girls needed much more a talk than just a couple words like in the show's finale.
I also have thoughts of a one shot alternate ending for the finale. When Elena wakes up in the mansion like it looked like and its not Katherine but then Katherine has a much more masterful plan to try to destroy the brother's and Elena once and for all. It had it in my head and I just need to get it out on paper to have more room in my head to work on this story and my other series. Let me know if you would be interested in me writing an alternate ending.
If you want more of these one shot's please hit the review button please. Reviews are love.
Hope you all have a safe and happy weekend!