Bittersweet:
Prologue:
I had spent a month of my life mourning, longing, and yearning for him to return and tell me that it had all been a nightmare. A month spent and wasted in an almost catatonic state. It hurt so much, so deeply that I had been abandoned like some stray animal and thrown away like yesterday's trash. They didn't care, I realized, they never cared and poor pathetic Bella had fallen for their trap. I decided then and there that I would no longer wait for him, for them, to realize what they left behind and return to me. I was just deluding myself thinking like that. So farewell poor, pathetic, naïve Bella, you are no longer welcome here. Hello to a strong, independent Bella, who doesn't take crap from anyone anymore, and who is a little bitter and jaded. It's time for me to take my life back.
Chapter One: But I Choose How This Day Will End:
I woke up this morning with a plan in my head. I would finally leave my room, which had become my black hole of misery and my cocoon of security. It was time for a change, time to quit feeling sorry for myself. God I am such a bad daughter, I can't believe that I put Charlie through all of that shit! Damnit! No more of that Charlie shit, its dad from now on, he more than deserves it. After my little mental argument, fuck I need to get out, I grabbed my toiletries and headed for the bathroom to shower. As I was washing my hair with my usual strawberry shampoo and conditioner, I added change my scent of hair products to my ever increasing mental to do list. Surprised that my resolve had held after being assaulted of all of the memories that the scent of my shampoo had brought up, I finished showering. Making my way back to my room without one of my typical clumsy moments, I opened my closet overflowing with all of the clothes that Alice had forced on me like a charity case. I sighed and got a little angry at the thought and decided to take all of those clothes straight to the goodwill. Chuckling to myself at the thought, I sorted through those clothes until I reached the clothes that I had brought with me from Phoenix. I decided on a dark denim mini skirt, with black leggings that had a pretty lace trim, and a much fitted violet off the shoulder long sleeved blouse. I got dressed and was actually surprised that I looked really good. I paired it with my skull and bones black converse flats, and some black bangle bracelets. I felt so comfortable wearing something that was to my own taste. Putting my hair up in a messy but chic looking ponytail and swiping on some pale pink gloss on my lips, I grabbed my purse and vintage black leather jacket and headed downstairs.
Since it was a Saturday morning, I decided to make me and Charlie a nice big breakfast. Looking in the fridge and cupboards I realized how remiss I had become in life, and that I really needed to go shopping. Pulling out all of the ingredients and griddle for pancakes, I turned the on the radio over the sink on. I was in the middle of flipping a pancake when the song Playing God by Paramore came on. I absolutely loved this song, so of course being me, I started to belt it out and dance along with it. I was actually having a really good time being silly with myself, I had missed this. The song ended and the radio went on to a commercial break, I heard applause coming from behind me. Absolutely mortified, I turned around and there was my dad with the biggest shit eating grin on his face. He came towards me and wrapped me in the biggest bear hug possible, whispering in my ear, "Oh Bells it's so good to have you back!" My eyes started to water as he released my from his hug and I replied, "Daddy I'm so sorry I went all dark, depressed, corpse-like bitch on you! I decided today that I had wasted too much time and tears on that fucker!" My dad looked shell shocked at what I had said, so I took the opportunity to plate him up some breakfast and pour him a mug of coffee. He finally regained his composure as I set his coffee and plate in front of him, and said, "Fuck Bells! I don't think that I've ever heard you swear. You really shouldn't, but I would be a hypocrite to say that you can't. I'm just glad that you're better, I've been worried about you, cupcake! Anyways breakfast looks and smells amazing! What are your plans for the day?" Dad is so funny sometimes, so I really couldn't hold in my giggles and I answered him, "Well daddy, I really need to go shopping and I need to do something with my hair desperately, so I was thinking of heading up to Port Angeles for the day. Is that alright with you?" Dad smiled at me and said, "Of course it's alright Bells! You go and have a good time, I'm just headed over to Billy's for the game today!' He asked me to wait a moment as he ran up the stairs to his room for something. He came back into the kitchen and he opened his wallet, counting out $300. He gathered it together and handed it to me saying, "Buy yourself something real nice, you deserve it Bells! And no Bells, it's not too much, you do a lot around here and are a great kid! I'm your father and I'm giving this to you, so please accept it!" I was about to protest when dad stilled all of my arguments, and I took the money and said, "Thank you daddy! Is there anything that you need at the store? I'm going to stock us up on groceries as I'm out as well! "Shaking his head no, I got up and walked over to him placing a kiss on his forehead as I headed out the door.
Starting my truck, I can barely contain my excitement to go shopping. The drive to Port Angeles took no time at all. Parking my truck in a paid public parking lot, I grabbed my purse and locked my truck, putting enough change in the meter to make a homeless person have a coronary. I heading to this really chic boutique that I had always wanted to go into, but had never had a chance to. I entered the store and judging by its atmosphere, I already loved it! From the black walls to the blood red carpet, and the store speakers playing some Within Temptation, I almost had a shopgasm. The clothes were absolutely wonderful; they were vintage with a gothic edge. I started grabbing items from the shelves and racks like a woman possessed, I had a whole wardrobe to replace after all. I entered the dressing room and discovered that I loved everything that that I tried on, especially the deep v neck, blood red, kneed length halter dress with black lace accents. Sifting through all of my options I decided to splurge and get all of it. I carried my mountain of purchases to the cashier. She looked wide eyed at me and began to ring up my purchases, which surprisingly only came out to be $458 even. Charging it to debit, I grabbed all of my bags and headed to the shoe store across the street. I entered the store on a mission and began grabbing boxes of shoes to try on: ankle boots, knee high boots, trainers, flats, stilettos, pumps galore. After finding something for everything, I grabbed my bags and precariously balanced all of the shoe boxes on top of each other making my way to cashier, and was shocked that the total only came out to be $378.57, that was less than one of Alice's overpriced designer shoes.
Completely bogged down with bags, I headed back to my truck and placed my bags into the cab. After that, I made the embarrassing decision that I needed new lingerie, I was so sick of white cotton! So I headed off to the La Perla shop two blocks over. I walked the two blocks and took a deep breath before entering the store. I looked around and was so lost as to where to begin, until a sales associate came up to me and asked if I needed help to which I replied, "Well I need a little of everything!" The sales associate introduced herself as Marie and ushered me over to the dressing rooms, where she took my measurements and then ran off. She came back with a lot of options: silk, satin, lace, cotton, strapless, demi, pushup, balconette, convertible, thong, g-sting, boy short, bikini, low-rise, high-rise, etc… I never knew that there where so many different options! Being on a bit of a shopping spree, I splurged on a bit of everything especially the silk nighties. When Marie rang me up and my total came to be $742.06 I didn't even hesitate to hand over my debit card. Walking back to my truck I noticed a Sephora store and I couldn't resist. Grabbing a basket I started grabbing a bit of everything: powder, bronzer, eye shadows, eyeliner, mascara, and brow pencil, a complete set of brushes, lipstick, lip-gloss, nail polish, facial cleanser, toner, and moisturizer, night cream… After finishing in the cosmetic and skincare section, I started browsing the hair care section to get some non-strawberry scented products. I decided on a nice range of jasmine scented products, because it smelt so yummy! Heading to the cashier, I realized that I may have gone a bit overboard, but I simply couldn't bring myself to care even when the total came out to be $320.56.
Finally done with my shopping, I headed back to my truck to place the remainder of my bags into the cab and started my truck to head over to the Matrix salon and spa that I had heard good reviews from. After parking my truck again, I decided when I entered the salon that I wanted to get an eyebrow wax, cut and colour, manicure, pedicure, and a facial. The receptionist penciled me in and asked me to sit for a few minutes and then she ushered me to my stylist who introduced himself as Matthias. I looked to Matthias and said, "I would like you to cut my hair like Hayley Williams from Paramore, and colour it a really dark brown with copper and really intense red highlights!" He looked shocked at me and then laughingly replied, "Wow! Going for a big change, aren't we?" I answered, "It's time for a change!" We chatted about trivial things as he did my cut and colour, and then he shuffled me over to Sophie the nail specialist. I decided that I wanted my mani and pedi to match in a sparkly back polish. I could just imagine Alice's reaction, "OMG! Bella no! You will look like such a goth loser!" But I will get the last laugh since I love, love black nail polish. I used to wear it all the time until Alice had found all of my bottles of it and threw them away without me knowing. After my mani and pedi dried, I was sent to get my facial and wax. The end result was amazing, I looked so different and so good! I was so happy at how well it had turned out. I didn't even blink when I charged the full $341.63 to debit.
Now that my own little self improvement was over, I headed back to my truck. To my dismay there was a tattoo and piercing parlour along my way back that I really wanted to go into once I saw it. I entered the dark lit lobby and nervously approached the reception desk. I cleared my throat to draw the attention of the preoccupied receptionist. The startled receptionist responded, "Welcome to Ink and Pierce what can I do for you?" I answered, "I would like a navel and eyebrow piercing and a tattoo!" The receptionist ushered me to the back after checking my I.D. I decided to get the tattoo first, it was a really intricate, yet simple feminine Celtic tree of life on my lower back. It took about two hours to finish, and it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would at all. I decided to just get a basic stainless steel barbell in my eyebrow and a dark red bar in my navel. Finally finishing that up with minimal pain, I paid the $450 and headed straight to my truck. Squeezing myself into my overflowing cab, I made my way back to Forks.
Looking at my dashboard clock I realized that it was 3:30 pm, I couldn't believe that I had spent seven hours on my shopping spree. Pulling into the local Thriftway 20 minutes later, I grabbed a shopping cart and proceeded to pile things into my cart. I made a decision from now on, that I would make healthier food choices for both me and dad. Harry Clearwater's heart attack was truly awakening in that aspect, I couldn't lose my dad, and he was all I had left. Renée, that bitch, couldn't be a mother if it came and bit her on the ass. All I was to her was another girlfriend to share gossip with. I made my way over to the butcher's counter to pick up a few sirloin steaks, when I completely body slammed into someone, sending both me and this person to the ground. Fuck, now I was pissed! I scrambled up from the ground and angrily said, "Goddamn it all to hell! Don't you ever fucking look where you are walking? You could've bloody well hurt me!" It was then that I realized who had crashed into me, it was one of those goddamned huge LaPush boys! The fucker had the gall to laugh at me before saying, "Cupcake, you certainly have quite the mouth! Are you new to town, because I haven't seen you around before? Maybe I can show you around?" He said that so suggestively that I was tempted to slap that smirk off of his face, instead I decided to forgo the steaks and ignore the arrogant prick. Laughing on the inside, I turned around and started walking away. The boy, well man if going by looks alone, just doesn't know when to shut up when he started after me saying, "I'm sorry miss! Really I am, I just have never seen you around here before and you're really beautiful!" I think he blurted that last part without thinking it through, because he started to blush. Smirking and laughing I replied, "And who pray tell has fallen victim to my charming wit and whims? And to answer your question, no I am not new to Forks, in fact I have been here for quite awhile!" Deciding that I really liked to tease this man, I started off again before he could process what I had said. Finally noticing that I had moved off again, he quickened his pace after me and said, "Well miss, you have the distinct privilege and honour of meeting the one and only Paul Alexander Greene! And how is it miss that I have never encountered your beauty and presence before if you have been in town for awhile?" I can't even explain how much his arrogance was pissing me off, evidently he had regained his confidence, absofuckinglutely lovely! I smiled sweetly before starting on my ego crushing tirade, "Oh dear, whoever told you that they were privileged and honoured to meet you, must have been both blind and deaf! Your arrogance and cockiness completely nauseates me! And by the way I am Isabella Marie Swan, my friends call me Bella, but its Isabella to you! Goodbye Paul, this conversation has been truly enlightening!"
Snickering silently I made my way to the cashier to pay. Looking behind me, I see Paul still standing where I left him with his mouth completely agape. Laughing at him and praising my ego crushing skills, I pay for my order and make my way back to my truck. Unfortunately Paul definitely couldn't take a clue because he ran out of the store after me, which both amused and pissed me off. I was loading groceries into the bed of my truck when he approached me to say, "Isabella I'm sorry! I'm just so nervous around you that I just can't control what I say! I just really, really like you! Can we start over?" Goddamnit! He looked at e with those bloody puppy-like teal eyes! I could feel my resolve weakening and said, "Fine Paul, but it's Bella! Could you help me load my groceries into my truck bed?" He smiled the biggest smiled I had ever seen someone smile and said, "Thank you so much Bella, I'll try my hardest not to fuck up! And I would love to help you out!" Oh fuck me! I have just met a kindred spirit, and I can't resist that puppy look of his, I am so fucking screwed! It was then that my mobile started to ring to Shakira's "She Wolf" I picked it up and answered, "Hello!" The person on the other line replied, "Bells it's Dad! I'm just calling to invite you over to Billy's house tonight for dinner. They're having a big all out barbeque and both Billy and Jake really want to see you!" Sighing because he played the Billy and Jake card on me, I answered "Sure Dad, sounds great! What time?" I could just imagine the grin on his face when he replied, "Billy says to come over around 6;30!" Assuring my Dad that I would be there and saying my goodbyes with him, I ended my call and turned to Paul who looked too amused. He laughed and asked, "She wolf?" I smirked and replied huskily, "But isn't it a good song? Who wouldn't want a she wolf in their closet?" That certainly left him at a loss for words. Taking the opportunity to take my cart to the cart return, he called after me, "You're really blunt and brutally sarcastic, I really like that and find you very interesting! Can I see you again sometime?" Chuckling at his sincerity I replied, "Oh you'll be seeing me sooner than you think!" And with that I got into my truck, leaving him to ponder what I had said. Adding insult to injury, I blew him a kiss as I pulled out, and he fucking blushed. That was so much fun!