Resurrection Stone
By darkchakram
Disclaimer: J. K. Rowling owns Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape, and Lily Evans.
Summary: Dumbledore offers Snape a reward for his years of sacrifice.
Rated T
Snape/Lily
Albus Dumbledore sat down in the chair behind his desk and looked across the room at Severus Snape. He could see the anguish the revelation was causing his long-time friend. He was asking more of Severus than he'd ever asked before. But Snape was too invested in the game to back out now, and Dumbledore was counting on that. They would defeat Voldemort if it killed them all, the boy included.
He could see that Severus cared for the boy, or at least the part of the mother that lived within the child. The heavy news would have been difficult for any of the professors to process but the stakes were even higher where Snape was concerned. Snape had stood by him ever since Lily Potter's death, as he'd sworn that he would. There'd been times that Dumbledore was certain that Snape would just walk away from it all. But he'd shown courage and valor that rivaled that of Godric Gryffindor. And for that, Dumbledore decided that Snape should be rewarded in a way that was commensurate with his sacrifice.
With his uninjured hand, Dumbledore opened his desk and retrieved a little golden snitch.
"There's one more thing, Severus."
Snape looked at the game ball. "A snitch?"
"Yes, it was caught by Harry."
Snape waited quietly for more explanation.
"I'm going to leave him this, there may come a time when he needs it." he picked up the resurrection stone that sat next to shattered pieces of Marvolo Gaunt's ring atop his desk.
"Are you sure that is wise?" Snape looked at the stone with disdain. Dumbledore's obsession with the Hallows had already led his friend to request the impossible of him. What good could come of the giving the boy the stone?
"Again, Severus, I'll have to ask you to trust me, blindly."
Snape's hair fell over his face as he hung his head in frustration. Still, he didn't protest.
"But before I seal the stone into the snitch, I'd like to offer you an hour with the stone."
Snape's head shot up. His black eyes locked with Dumbledore's blues. "Lily," Snape barely whispered.
"Yes, but I warn you. It'll only be a shade. She'll be there with you in spirit but not in body."
"She hates me. How could she not? I served the man who killed her."
"Is this fear, Severus?"
"Fear? No." Tears pooled at the red rims of his eyes. "Shame."
"One hour, Severus." Dumbledore rose, crossed the room, and pressed the stone in Snape's hand. "I'll expect you back here with it in an hour."
"Can I have til dawn? Please?" He choked out the last .
"Very well. Dawn."
Dumbledore watched as Snape slipped out of the door without uttering a thank you.
The hallways of Hogwarts were blissfully quiet since the Fall Term wasn't due to start for another couple of weeks. Snape hurried along the empty corridors, his black robes billowing behind him. He paid no attention to Peeves who was mucking about the main entry hall. He didn't even nod at Headless Nick as he passed him going down the first flight of stairs that would take toward the dungeon. His desire to just apparate to his quarters had never been stronger. Finally, he'd reached the dungeon and took the first turn down the corridor. Two more turns and he uttered, "asphodel," to the wall and reminded himself to change the password before term started.
The stone slab gave way, and Snape ducked into the Slytherin common room. He hurried through it and past the entry to the students dormitory. Finally, he stood at the entry to his private chambers. He looked down at the stone. He wanted to savor the moment. Fantastical as it was, he had the overwhelming feeling that he was carrying Lily over the threshold. He'd never brought a woman into his inner sanctum. She was the only woman that he would've ever considered bringing here. She was the only woman who'd ever known him in such an intimate way. Having her in his bedroom wouldn't feel like an intrusion.
Snape pulled a key from his pocket and made quick work of the lock, then called, "green-eyed goddess," before touching the knob. Once the curse was lifted using his private password, he turned the handle and pushed the door open. Even though there were no students lurking about trying to get a look into Snape's room, he hurried to shut the door behind him.
Basic black described the room to a tee. Black furniture, black bedding, black wooden flooring. Black and tidy. Not a single item was out of place. Everything was perfectly ordered. Perfectly contained. Would she take one look at the room and know? Know that this was how he'd survived? By learning to control his emotions to the point of containing himself completely. Of course she would. She was the only one who ever saw him, much less saw right through him.
Severus took a deep calming breath and rolled the stone in his fingers. He wasn't sure he could do this. Facing her wasn't something that he'd ever thought he'd have to endure. Sure, he'd stood plenty of times in front of the Mirror of Erised. Dreaming of what might have been. It had provided an opportunity to see her face on those dark days when he'd thought he wouldn't be able to continue breathing. But the stone was different. He would be summoning her very soul. How could he face her. He had no right to command her soul. He'd let her down. He'd chosen the Dark Lord over her. The Dark Lord had killed her, killed her beloved James, and tried to kill her child. He wondered if she knew what her death had done to him? How it had changed him? Dumbledore was offering him the chance to show her that. But how would she feel being summoned back to Earth by him? A hated enemy who'd once been the closest friend. Her first love.
He sat the stone on the bed. He couldn't do it. His shame was too great. It had been he who'd revealed the prophecy to the Dark Lord. It was he who was ultimately responsible for Voldemort going after Harry. Try as Dumbledore may to have reasoned with him that it could've been any number of children born in July, Snape would always know the truth. It was he who'd been responsible for Lily's death. He and his need to prove himself to the Dark Lord. The same man who'd caused him to lose Lily's love had taken Lily from him forever. And, it was all his own doing.
"Severus," he heard her heavenly voice call gently behind him.
Severus turned slowly. When he saw the ghostly apparition of his one and only love, he fell to his knees. This was too painful. When he'd last seen her, he held her tightly, rocking her body, willing her back to life. He wondered fleetingly if he'd had the stone then could he have ordered her sou; back into her still warm body. Now, he was looking at her spirit and it had form but no material, nothing to touch. Nothing to hold.
Still, she offered him absolution. She'd come to him. She stood before him. He looked up into those perfect emeralds that had been burned into his brain years ago. His entire body burned with grief.
"Lily," snot ran from his big nose as he sobbed freely. "I'm - - I'm - -failed you. . ."
"Sev. Stop it."
"Voldemort. It was my fault," he continued.
"No, Love, it wasn't."
Love? Had she called him Love? He stopped breathing and looked at her askant.
"Sev. Breathe. You're still among the living."
He gulped a saving breath of air, nearly choking on it. "Lily."
"I won't have you blaming yourself for him. He was a murder. You were misguided. A tormented youth who fell victim. . ."
"Don't pity me, Lily."
"Don't start that argument, Severus. Is that what you've called me here for? To Argue?"
"Of course not. But I could never stand your pity."
"And, I your unwillingness to accept that the allure you found in Dark Magic was related to your need for control. Your need to conquer your abusive father," she raised her voice.
"Lily!" He raised his voice to match and stood and walked to the other side of the room.
"Picking right up where we left off, I see?"
"This was a mistake." He clenched his fists.
"No, it wasn't. I have so many things I've wanted to say to you, Sev." She said calmly, soothingly.
"Like what?" He'd reined in his temper and his voice returned to normal levels.
"You go first. You've brought me here."
"I only wanted to tell you how very sorry I am. Sorry about it all, Lily. About pushing you out of my life. About betraying you to Voldemort."
"Sev, as I said, I don't blame you for Voldemort. I do blame you for pushing me away. It hurt more than anything in my life. You had been my constant. My friend, my love. And then when Mulciber let you in his little Death Eater gang, I lost you. My world unraveled before me. I clung to the only thing I had left, Hogwarts, Gryffindor and I ended up in James' arms. And I knew it hurt you. I wanted it to. I wanted you to be so jealous. You were supposed to get jealous, Sev. You were supposed to tell Mulciber and Avery and Malfoy and Voldemort to get lost and you were supposed to win me back. At least that's how it played out in my seventeen year old brain. When you didn't I just assumed that I'd never really meant that much to you."
"But you did. Lily, my God, you are the only person I've ever loved. You must know that. My heart beats for you as strong today as it ever has."
"And Harry? Do you love my son?"
"He looks like his father," Snape grumbled.
"Is that difficult for you?"
"You have no idea. He's the living embodiment of your preference for another man."
"That's not how I see it?'
"Of course not, Mrs. Potter. Why don't you illuminate me."
"Don't call me that. I'll never be Mrs. Potter with you."
He moved closer. "Lily."
"When you look at Harry. You aren't seeing my preference for James because I never preferred James to you, Severus. He was the consolation prize. I learned to love him. I was a young girl, Sev. A young mother. But in my heart of hearts I know, and if you search yours you will know that had I lived the marriage wouldn't have lasted. True love cannot, will not be denied."
"You're wrong Lily. Had you not died, I would have gone deeper and deeper into the Dark. Don't you see that that is my greatest shame. It took you dying to save me. You saved me, Lily. I owe you everything."
"Come here, Severus."
He moved toward her shade. She reached her hand out to take his but he went through her. He felt only a sliver of connection, brief and eternal.
"If we practice long enough, we may be able to extend connection. Do you want to try?'
He nodded.
"Look at me, really concentrate, Sev."
He did as instructed. He could feel her now, the way he could feel someone standing behind him even though he hadn't turned around. Like her energy was in the place in front of him. Gooseflesh had risen onto his arms.
"You know, you only got more handsome with age, but I must say you look older than your years, Sev. The darkness took its toll on you?"
"Grief, Lily. Grief took it's toll on me."
"Lie down with me." She moved toward the bed. He lay beside her shade on top of the black comforter. The connection was growing stronger. He could even feel heat radiating off of her.
"It won't be like this once you're on the other side. You know. We will be able to touch each other again. Embrace. Love each other, again."
"I doubt I will be going where ever you are, Lily. And besides, I doubt God would let me love another man's wife."
Lily smiled at him and shook her head. "Severus, God knows where my heart lives. And, as I said true love cannot be denied."
"What are you saying, Lily"
"Never fear death, Severus. For in death, awaits your second chance."
Severus felt her lips brush his slightly as he saw the sun cresting over the treetops of the forbidden forest.