Hurt

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Bella, Alice, Edward or any of the other Twilight characters. I am only borrowing them from Stephenie Meyer for my own entertainment and hopefully your entertainment. Enjoy!

Edward left Bella in the woods alone telling her they were all leaving for her own good. This actually wasn't for Bella's own good. It left her depressed.

***Caution: rated M for suicidal reasons and possible future chapters content. ***

BPOV

It hurt. It hurt so bad I thought my heart was being ripped out of my chest by his hand itself. Why? What did I do wrong? What did I do to deserve this? All gone. They're all gone. I am all alone in this rainy forest in the dark by myself. Why?

There was a rustling of leaves somewhere near me. What was out here in the dark with me? Did he come back? Did one of them come back for me? What was coming for me?

"Bella, are you out here?" I heard a male voice. It wasn't anyone I ever remember hearing before. It sure wasn't Edward.

I just lay there curled up in a ball soaked to the bone crying. Suddenly I felt arms lifting me up. They were strong arms but they weren't anyone I knew. I tried to fight them but they had a good hold on me and I wasn't going anywhere. I never opened my eyes.

Then I heard my dad.

"Bells, are you ok? Did he leave you out here alone? I'm going to kill him!"

"No. I made him leave dad. Just take me home. I want to go home." I said softly. I don't know why I covered for him.

Who ever had me placed me in the front seat of my dad's cruiser and made sure I had a seatbelt on. My dad climbed in the driver seat and started the car.

"Thank you again Sam." My dad said as he pulled away. Who was Sam?

I leaned against the window as my father drove. I stared at absolutely nothing. My mind was still raising at the events that led up to Edward leaving.

"It will be as if I'd never existed."

I still remember him saying that before he left. When my dad pulled up to the house I jumped out of the car and ran into the house. I ran up the stairs to my room. Of course he wasn't there. None of them were, but along with them missing was my CD Edward had made me, my prom pictures, matter of fact all my pictures with the Cullen's were gone. Everything. It was as if he'd never existed. All I had left of them were my memories. He couldn't take those from me. Those were mine to keep and torture myself with.

I sat on my bed and placed my face in my hands and cried again. My whole life as I had known it was gone. My future was gone. He was gone.

I lay down on my bed and cried myself to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be hell on earth for me. I wished I could go to sleep and never wake again. It would be so much better. I wouldn't be dying inside right now. Right now I wish I was really dying. I just wanted to pain to stop. I just wanted to stop feeling.

I went to school the next day but I went through the day in a haze. I don't remember anything. It went on like this for months. Then one day I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to stop hurting. I had to stop missing him. I had to stop crying. It all had to stop.

Charlie was at work on Saturday when I decided it was over.

I woke up from a long night of crying. I went to Edward and my meadow. I carried with me only the things I would need. A piece of paper, a pen, and a knife, I sat down in the middle of the field and started to write.

Cha Dad,

I know that you only want me to be happy and I'm sorry that I have disappointed you and mom. I loved him and I know you can't understand that. I loved him with everything I had and it wasn't enough. I didn't do something enough or right. I don't know which. All I know is that I can't handle this pain anymore. I can't keep waking to a world without him. I just can't. I love you and mom and make sure she knows that. One day I will probably see you again. If not, just know that you didn't do anything wrong. It was all me. I'm sorry.

Bella

I placed the note under a small enough stone that someone would find it but big enough that the wind wouldn't blow it away. I looked up at the bright sun and waited. I knew that this was it. I picked up the knife. It wasn't a big butcher knife but more like one of those little paring knives. I didn't need anything big or fancy to do what I wanted. This one was just perfect.

I took the knife and with my right hand I made a nice neat clean deep cut to my left wrist. In just the right spot. I watched the blood start to well up and ooze down my wrist. I took the knife in my now weak left hand and attempted to make a similarly deep cut. This one wasn't quite as deep but I watched the blood well up again. I dropped the knife. I just sat there watching my blood mix with the grass of our meadow. I didn't try to stop any of it. This is what I wanted. This was my release. I didn't feel the pain anymore. After a few minutes I noticed my arms were getting number and my vision was getting hazy. I swear I saw him standing there in front of me. Then my vision messed with my head because he morphed into Alice.

"Oh shit." I said barely loud enough to hear myself. I forgot she'd see me. Was she really standing there in front of me? If she was, where was he?

I noticed I was no longer sitting up. I was lying in my own blood in the grass.

"Bella, NO!" I heard someone yell. I couldn't tell if it was real or my imagination. I suddenly felt lighter. Was this what it felt like to die? I felt nothing but lightness. I never imagined I'd feel that. I looked around and the whole world was a blur. Wow, my vision was really playing with me. I think I passed out at this point. Blood loss and all.

"Is she going to be ok?" I heard faintly.

I wondered who they were talking about. I was dead.

"I don't know. She lost a lot of blood Alice." That was a male voice. Not his though.

"Carlisle, you can't let her die. I would never forgive myself if I lost Bella. I never got to tell her." That was Alice again.

"There's only one way to save her now Alice. She's lost too much blood to even try infusing her with what little we have here. I just don't have enough. Alice, Edward doesn't want her turned. He's not here. If she isn't she'll surely die. I will let you make the decision. You're the only one who can tell how Edward would react and the only one who can tell the outcome of doing so. What do you want to do Alice?"

"You know you don't have to ask. You already know what I want Carlisle. Please." She pleaded.

"No, you need to do it. I know you can. Trust yourself Alice." He said softly.

"Ok." She replied.

How come I can hear their whole conversation? I was dead. I felt my world whirl by. I had to be dead. Then I felt it. I don't know if it was heaven or hell. All I know is it burned like fire. I was on fire. First I felt it in my hand, then I felt it in my arm, then I felt it in my neck, and then it was in my chest. I was being consumed by fire. Now I'm definitely dying. The fire tore through my whole body. It burned. My body involuntarily convulsed. I couldn't take the pain anymore. I didn't want more pain. I wanted it to stop. I closed my eyes. What was happening to me? Then I remembered Carlisle's words.

"Alice, Edward doesn't want her turned. He's not here. If she isn't she'll surely die."

Was he talking about me becoming like them. Me becoming a vampire like Edward. Living eternally? That's not what I wanted. I wanted to die. I didn't want this. Let me die.

"Let me die." I tried to scream but it came out more like a whisper.

"I can't, Bella. I could never let you die." She whispered.

"Why?" was all I could ask?

"Because Bella, I love you." Those were the last words I heard before I passed out from the pain.

I warned you about the suicidal parts. If you're offended or don't like the story I'm sorry. No I am not suicidal. I was listening to some music and for some dumb reason the thought actually entered my mind for this story. I personally am against suicide but those are my beliefs. To each their own, I do hope that some find this as purely entertainment. I am sorry to those that this might bother. I have no desire to write another along these events. This is my only piece that will contain this material. I am not asking for reviews in order to write more but if enough people find this story interesting enough I may write more to it. Thank you and again this is only a story.

BellaAlice4E!