Desmond, my love,
I cannot fathom the thought of a life without you by my side. You were the first person to accept my family and I when we moved to The Farm. Since then, you have been my anchor to keep me from floating too far away. You have been my strength when I could not stand on my own. You have been my courage when I was trembling with fear. You have been the power that kept me going when I felt that I could no longer continue. You are not just the 'love of my life', you are my love, my life. You are my everything. For every step I take, I wish it were a step bringing me closer toward you. For every breath I take, I take it not just for him, but for you as well. You are my first thought before my eyes open for the day. You are the last thought which brings me into a peaceful rest. Your eyes are the window to a soul I wish to be forever entranced by. Your smile, more radiant than the sun itself; the light at the end of the dark tunnel of my mind that is flooded with thoughts of you being forever gone. Your face, the only one that can make me believe that 'forever' is indeed a possibility. Being in your arms, the only time I feel most secure; my safe haven that I never wish to leave. Your kiss brings me into a realm that feels so far away from reality; but you are my reality. Your love makes me impatient for more. Your love makes me think of all the possibilities of what a future could actually be when I find you. I need no 'good luck charm' as long as I have you. You have saved me from myself, but have also shown me who I truly am: someone who is worth fighting for; someone who is worth loving. I long to be with you, forever and always. You were the only one who never climbed over my walls, seeped through the cracks or broke them down, but simply walked through the front door that I hadn't known existed. My one and only. I cannot be 'me' if there is no 'you'. There is no such life in my mind. A life without you is equivalent to a life with no oxygen. It just isn't possible.
That is why I search for you. It has been over a year since you've been taken, and still no word of your whereabouts. I will not give up, though. I will never give up on the chance of being held in your arms again. We have a wedding to plan, remember? You have given me the greatest gift of all: a part of you and I mixed into one, beautiful bundle of life. I've shown him pictures of you and he always asks for you. I see so much of you in him, down to your stubbornness and adventurous nature. You were always like that, even back at The Farm. I can't count the amount of times you'd actually convinced me to sneak around past curfew and I'll never forget the first time we made love. We were so young and stupid, afraid yet adamant to take our feelings for each other to the next step. My heart was broken the day you ran away from The Farm and left me behind with only a promise that you would return; a promise broken. Honestly, I had given up on you when I was finally released and attended University. Of course, I trusted nobody, but knew I had to hide in plain sight as well. I was not prepared to see you when we walked into the nightclub that destined evening. Yet there you were, standing in front of me, grown up so handsomely. Of course, that scar would never fade. I had warned you to be more careful during training, but you must have been on some sort of dangerous adventure in your mind. I was so worried when I saw so much blood on your face and frankly, slightly irritated that you wouldn't let me touch you. I had grown to love that unique scar on your lips once it had healed. It was a part of you and it was that part of you that made me feel like perhaps I was not in reality upon seeing you at Bad Weather even more. But you admitted that you knew it was me as well, despite my name being different. You were brave to keep your name, but none of us had expected Abstergo to come after you as they did. Yet they did.
I wish I came to the bar that night when you called home for some company. I wish my exhaustion hadn't gotten the better of me. Perhaps you would have stood a better chance of not being abducted. If I came down to Bad Weather that night, you might be playing some silly, adventurous game with your son right now. But we cannot go back in time; only forward. That's why I do what I do now, despite both of us not wanting to partake in the life we were grown up and trained for. I will not stop until I find you. I will not stop looking for you, Desmond. I will go to hell and back to find you and if I cannot find you then, I will raise hell on these monstrous people who claim to fight for peace and order as if they themselves can be called 'Assassins' while they kidnap and force people into and Animus to find these horrific, powerful Pieces of Eden in secrecy. I hope that you have not suffered under their control. I hope you have remained the beautiful person you are despite all of this. I hope I find you soon. Your son needs you. I need you. I love you and loving you is like breathing. How can I stop?
Yours,
Forever and always.