Isn't It Tragic?:
Prologue-
I've never been the type of girl to fall in love or buy into all of that romantic shit, because I truly don't believe that there is such a thing as love. Something so pure and unselfish could never be real; it would be corrupted too easily. So maybe I'm a little bitter, bitchy, jaded even, but I wasn't always that way. He somehow got through all of my defences and somehow I forgot all that I was and believed in, and I fell in love with a boy. Hindsight being 20/20 I should have known that something was wrong when I started to change everything about myself to suit his sensibilities and letting him have almost complete control over me. Looking back now that's how all of the women in abusive relationships start their tales. Our relationship never lasted long enough for that to happen thank goodness, but at the same time I'm ashamed that I allowed someone to do that to me. In the year that we were together, I had changed everything about myself, even my very essence. When he left me, abandoned me on that forest floor, I simply couldn't function without him because he had taken everything of me. I forgot how to be that strong, opinionated, independent, sarcastic woman that I always was. In her place was someone weak, dependent, and someone who had no opinion of her own since she allowed her boyfriend, her "love" to make her choices for her. I was catatonic for months after being abandoned, and later a loner with little to no social skills since I was "broken" without him, without them.
I used to love him, love them so much that I would've given everything and anything to be with him and them. I would've given up my parents for his parents, I would've given up all of my friends for the brothers and sisters I would gain, and I would've given up my mortality for him. Pathetic now that I can see everything so clearly, I can't believe that I became that clingy, needy girl who needs constant validation. Maybe he dazzled me one too many times that it caused temporary mental damage? I hate them now, despise them, and loathe them and him. If I ever meet them again I would hurt them how they managed to hurt me, I will never forgive them or him. I've never been one for forgiveness anyways, such a Christian concept anyways and I've never been a Christian, much to his and their dismay. He was always so upset that I never believed in hell or the damnation of souls. Silly boy it is America after all and the whole freedom of religion thing. That was perhaps the only thing that we ever differed in opinion about, well that I was allowed/allowed myself to have. Them and Him would be shocked to meet me now, I'm independent, regained my backbone, swear like a sailor, crack dirty jokes with the best of them, blush at nothing, dress way edgier and sexier (perhaps a little slutty), can walk without a catastrophe happening, and I'm pretty open minded and have little to no qualms about sex (no more prudish Bella, that was more him than anything though). The Cullen's and Edward would barely recognise the Bella that I am now, but that's for the best.