AN: I didn't know what to categorize this under, so bare with me. This might not be what you're expecting, but here it is, a some-what tale of my life lol. Hope you like it and please review so I know to keep posting this and the other two stories.

Hello, my name is Ryan Pavid. I'm 16 year old when I started writing this and I don't know how old I'll be by the time I finish it, so just go along with the years.

I live in central New York with my mother. I have semi dark brown hair and I'm 5 ft 7 in tall. I'm average build, not overly muscular but I'm not scrawny. I'm average weight for someone my age and I have bright sea green eyes. I have light color skin, not pale but not tan. I attend a small, backwater, hick school that I utterly despise, and if not for my friends, I would be attending a much more culturally diverse school.

Where to begin on this little adventure of mine? I guess you should learn a little bit about my past before I start telling you about what has just recently happened. Yeah, that's a good place to start, so let's go back to 8th grade. I should also let you know right now that I am gay and that this is a love story.

It was early fall of 8th grade, I think it was October 8th when I first admitted to myself that I was gay. I didn't want to admit it to myself that I had a crush on anyone yet but deep down, I knew I did. It's just one of those things that you always know but never want to, especially since I had just broken up with my girlfriend of two years about a month before. That fact alone made it hard to believe, but I eventually did.

I had just started school again and my old friend Brent Edwards had passed 7th grade as well. We were both extremely happy to be in the same grade as each other still, since the year before he was a grade ahead of me but he failed 7th grade last year and was now in my grade. He was grateful to have a smart friend to help him with his homework. Let me also tell you that Brent and his entire family are homophobic to the point where Brent wants all gay men and unattractive lesbians to just die. Yeah, he was and still is just like that but oh well, what are you gonna do about it?

Anyways, things between Brent and I were perfectly fine because I hadn't told anyone my secret yet. Although I thought we were good friends, he must not have thought so because one day, things between us went sour. Let me start out on that day, the day that changed my life forever.

I woke up on October 8th ready for school. My mom had woken me up like usual but I was still upset. One month ago, I had my phone stolen out of my gym locker during football practice, and I still had not gotten it back. I soon quit football after only two weeks because I just didn't like playing the sport. We had the police out searching for the delinquent who stole it but when they found him, he had already sold it. Bummer, huh?

Anyways, I got up and lazily shuffled myself into the bathroom to get ready for school. I turned the water onto warm and stripped down, checking myself in the mirror for any unwanted blemishes on my face or shoulders. There were none, so I smiled and hopped in. The water rolled down my face and back, easing some of the stress that I had. I know, for an 8th grader to have stress is unbelievable, but trust me, once you meet my family, you'll understand.

I cleaned up and got out after only ten minutes, afraid that I'd miss the bus. I wore a black and light blue south pole shirt with some black jeans, stuff that only the emo kids at our school wore. I didn't really care how people saw me or what they thought, they could just shove it up their ass for all I cared.

I left the bathroom and my mom was standing at the door waiting for me. Her light brown eyes full of warmth and joy. "Hey baby, how'd you sleep last night?" Her voice was loving, like a mother's should be.

I shrugged my shoulders, "I slept fine. Not too hot in my room last night but I still had to have the fan on." Let me elaborate, I hate the heat. If I get over heated, I get sick. Even in the dead of winter, I still sleep with my fan on, just to keep the air cool.

"Good, I'm glad your feeling alright." She smiled at me, "Good news honey, I found your phone last night. Your gym teacher called me and told me that a football player turned it into him the other day, admitting that he bought it from the kid who stole it."

My eyes widened. My gym teacher had my phone for who knows how long and he never gave it back to me? "So I'm going to get my phone back today?"

She nodded, a smile on her face, "Yes sweetie. I told him to give you back your phone and if he did, I wouldn't press charges on him for holding onto stolen property." She opened her arms up, asking me to give her a victory hug. My mom loves to hug and I guess I got that from her. Also, she isn't the type of person to normally sue someone, but I had followed the school rules but my phone was still stolen and my school did nothing about it.

I walked over to her and gave her a hug. My mother was the one person in the entire world that I couldn't live without. My dad abandoned us when I was born for his best friend's sister and she did not allow him to see me.

She pulled back and held my arms, "You ready to go to school. I'm driving you today."

I looked up at her, "You're driving me today? How, don't you have to work?" My mom works from home, but she normally doesn't drive me to school.

"No, I got today off. I needed one and today just seemed like a perfectly random day."

I laughed mildly. My mother always knew how to put me in a good mood. I grabbed my book bag and a few pens and pencils. "I'm ready."

She smiled and handed me the keys. "Go start the car sweetie. I'll be right out."

I walked out the front door and got into the car, starting it as well. I turned the radio onto a popular music station, mouthing the words to a song.

My mom got in the car a few minutes later, smiling at me. "I love you sweetie." Ugh, she was always like this, being all lovey-dovey to me even when I wasn't in the greatest of moods.

"Love you too mom." I might not have been in a good mood, but I feared my mother when she got angry. NEVER anger my mother. She will cut you if she wanted to.

"We have to go pick up your cousin too." She opened the garage door and started backing out.

Great, we had to go pick up Victoria. My cousin is a preppy, bitchy, evil little 12 year old girl. I could handle her on some days, when she was being emo and saying that her spoiled little life sucked. Those days cheered me up immensely because her life was far from terrible and her sheer stupidity made me feel smart. She had everything she ever wanted handed to her on silver platter by my aunt. Ever since my aunt and uncle split up two years ago, Victoria has had run of the house.

My aunt, who is the nicest, most patient woman on the entire Earth, was being bossed around by Victoria like she was her slave. It irked me to know that no matter what Victoria did, my aunt would defend her, saying that she had a disorder. Yeah, my cousin did have a disorder, she was a manipulative little bitch.

Anyways, I just looked out the window and listen to the music as we drove to my aunts house. She didn't live far away, less than a two minute drive from my house to hers.

We arrived there at about 7:30-ish and honked the car horn. My aunt opened the door and held up her pointer finger, indicating that my cousin wasn't quite done getting herself ready quite yet. We waited in the driveway for over fifteen minutes until she finally came out the door with her oversized book bag purse thingy. Her long brown hair blowing wildly in the morning winds.

She got in the car and immediately began complaining. "I like hate this wind. Doesn't it know that I just did my hair." There she goes again, thinking everything revolves around her, even the winds.

"They can't know that Vicky because they aren't alive. If you were smart, you'd know that."

"Tch, whatever. Who asked you anyways?" She began twirling her hair, a habit that ran in our family.

"Whatever." I sat back and just sang along with the radio.

The entire ride to school, my cousin was complaining about her freaking hair and spraying mass amounts of hairspray in the car to try and fix it. What a great freaking day this was turning out to be.

When we finally got to school, I kissed my mom goodbye and ran inside. I looked at the clock and groaned. Because of my cousin, I was now late for class. I ran into the main office and found nobody there. Great, what else could go wrong? I sat there patiently for someone to return, waiting for over ten minutes before I just said screw it and I walked to my class.

Mr. Trist looked at me as I entered the room. "Hello Ryan. Where's your late pass?"

I rolled my eyes slightly. "The office was empty so I couldn't get one. I waited in there for ten minutes before I just came to class."

He began to scratch his bald head, "Oh, I see, well then, just go sit down. I'll give you a break this time since you're a good student." He took a sip out of his coffee mug, "Ok, now, can anyone tell me the number of protons the element gold has?"

I sat down at my usual seat, taking out my notebook to start copying the notes on the overhead. I looked up and saw Stephanie looking back at me with an agitated face. She was one of my best friends in the school and luckily, we had all the same classes together.

I smiled at her and she smiled back. My mother always thought that she had a crush on me, but I never thought of her like that. Truth be told, I later found out she liked someone else, making me feel much better. She tilted her head backwards and I saw why she was in a bad mood. Mr. Trist had moved one of the preppy, bitchy girls behind her and this girl kept kicking the back of Stephanie's desk and then laughing about it.

I going to tell you this right now, I hate people, but I'm not the one to confront someone I dislike. That's my cousin. If she doesn't like someone, she'll go right up to them, ask them what their problem is, and if she doesn't like their excuse, she'll start to fight with them.

I just nodded to Steph and continued to write down my notes.

After we were done writing, Mr. Trist gave us a few minutes to stretch our legs and all that. Steph came back and sat next to me, a smile on her face but a glare in her eyes.

"I really hate that girl. She's been kicking my chair the entire class. I'm sick of it."

"Maybe she likes you." Shane came over and sat with us next, another one of my good friends. "Doesn't she already think you're a lesbian from way back when?"

She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, but I'm not. If she thinks I am and she's flirting with me, that's just weird."

I laughed slightly. Neither one of them knew my secret, so I had to put up a façade most of the time, but not right now. Just a little random fact I thought you should know for later on. "She's probably attracted to the oddballs, Steph, like you."

She glared at me, making me laugh even more. "Who are you calling an oddball, freak."

"Who are you calling a freak, loser." This was normal for us. We would always insult each other in a mocking way, but still be the best of friends. Even though Steph was one of my newer friends, I trusted her the most. She was extremely honest, but I still couldn't tell her my secret.

"Alright class, time to learn some more."

We all groaned as we shuffled back to our seats for another dose of Chemistry.

The rest of that class and my other classes went by rather slowly. They just wouldn't seem to end. Finally, I made it to lunch, where I sat with my old group of friends, or my best friends at the time; Brent Edwards, Jake Spina, Devon Ballister, and Raymond Coll. I should have known that something was up when I sat down and nobody said hello to me, but I was naïve and didn't think anything of it.

"Hey guys."

Ray and Jake both gave me the 'hey, now shut up' nod and Brent and Devon didn't even look at me. Still, I didn't find that odd, but oh well, sucks to be me today.

I sat there, listening to their conversations. Brent and Ray began talking about a new video game that was coming out and Devon and Jake were making plans to hang out this upcoming weekend.

Brent heard them making their plans and instantly had to say something. "Hey, would you mind if I came along as well."

Now, my mother had always told me that inviting yourself up to someone else's house was rude, but Brent apparently didn't care.

"Why not, I'll ask my mom later and I'll tell you what she says tomorrow." Jake smiled back at him.

Now I was in shock. Brent got along really well with Devon and Ray, but him and Jake were never that close, or so I thought. I took a risk and opened my mouth, "Hey, why don't we all hang out this weekend?"

They all looked at me like I had three heads, "Um…I don't know if we all can. Truth is, my mom already said Devon could come over but she said that not many more people could and Brent asked first."

Damn, that was a slap in the face. "Oh, ok then." I put on my fake smile and just started eating my bagged lunch. I kept thinking about it and even though I knew I shouldn't, I took offense to what he said.

That's one of my downfalls. Since my father was never around, I never learned what having a bond with another male was supposed to feel like. I lived in an entire family of women, meaning men were foreign to me, even though I was one. Maybe that's something that triggered my homosexuality. I always wanted the love of another man, but I had not received it, yet.

Victoria's dad was a duchebag, so I never really got close to him. He would beat my aunt and cousins when he got mad, and I knew that was wrong, so I never looked up to him. The only two male figures in my life that were positive were my grandfather and my uncle on my dad's side. I loved visiting with my grandfather every Sunday, going with him around the garden and helping him pick the fresh fruit that grew there. He was the nicest man I ever knew, but he couldn't move around. He was a big man and he had diabetes, so it was hard for him to move around without being on his motorized scooter. But anyways, back to school.

I sat there and ate my sandwich, deep in thought. Everyone around me was talking to each other and nobody even talked to me. It was pissing me off even more because I was just vocally slapped in the face and now treated like the unwanted child of the group. I got up and threw my trash away, not wanting to see my friends anymore. I walked out of the cafeteria and headed to my last class of the day, Spanish.

My Spanish class in 8th grade was the only class to have the new male Spanish teacher. His name was Profe Mauly and he seemed nice at first. We noticed his little quirks but didn't think anything of it.

I was the first one to enter the classroom, sitting down in my usual seat and doodling in my notebook. I wasn't a good drawer, but it still help me ease my nerves.

The door opened and Profe entered the room, looking at me in shock. "Oh, Hello Ramon, why are you here so early?" In his class, he made us choose Spanish names, and Ramon was the name I chose.

I looked up from my notebook, still not a smile on my face. "Hello Profe. I finished my lunch early so I decided to come to class. Is that a problem?"

He smiled his creepy smile, "Of course not. I have to do something on the computer, so it'll be quiet in here for you. Remember, you have a quiz today on the Spanish alphabet, so I would start studying if I were you." He sat down behind his desk and began surfing the web.

I groan, taking out my notebook to start studying. I went through the entire alphabet three times and it still wasn't time for class. "Hey Profe, what are we learning about today?"

He looked up and continued to smile creepily, "We're starting electronics, like computers, cell phones, telephones, things like that."

My brain clicked, "Profe, may I leave quickly. I have to go pick up something from the gym."

He tilted his head, "Of course, class doesn't start for another ten minuets. Just don't be late." He winked at me but I didn't see it, I was already packing up my things and running out the door.

"Thank you." I began running down the hall and over to the gym where my phys ed. teacher was polishing his football trophies. I knocked on the door, "Coach Luffin."

He looked at me, a sign of relief came across his face. "Hey Pavid, I got your phone." He opened his desk drawer and handed me my orange phone. "One of the Varsity football players had it, but I gave him a stern talking to. No hard feelings right?"

I just glared at him, "Sure, no hard feelings." I turned around and stammered down the halls. How was he so nonchalant about this, like this was normal for him? I was still fuming when I got back to class and thank god some of my friends were there. I sat back down in my seat between Steph and Shane. "Hey guys."

They both looked at me, noticing that I wasn't smiling like normal. "What happened? You don't look as happy as you normally do." Steph put her hand on my shoulder, "Tell us."

I lowered my head and showed them my phone. "I got my phone back."

"Then why do you look upset? You should be happy."

A tear slid down my face and onto my desk. "Because Coach Luffin had it. How right is that?"

She took her hand off my shoulder, "Oh."

Neither one of them talked to me for the rest of class, and I later thanked them for that. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now, I just wanted this day to end.

Spanish ended much faster then my other classes, but it still seemed to drag on. When the bell eventually rang, I put my chair on the desk and ran out the classroom, making a beeline to the bus.

I didn't want to talk to anyone. Other than getting my phone back, today epically sucked.

Now, if you're wondering how I came out of the closet to myself, that's even later today. Something else is about to happen that just put the icing on the cake, so to speak.

I got on the bus and sat in my usual seat. I wasn't the first one on, but I didn't care, I still had my seat. I took out my CD player because I didn't have an ipod yet, and began listening to whatever I had with me.

A few minutes later, more of my friends started getting on the bus. Andrea Horn, Cathleen Vander, Abigail Williams, and Shawn Gremms. Abigail always sat with me; she loved to cuddle up next to me for some odd reason. I didn't mind.

"Hey fluffy, how was your day?" Don't ask me why, but Abigail named me fluffy. I wasn't fat, nor hairy, but she still called me that. Maybe it was because she always said that I was warm?

"Sucked. I hate almost everyone in this damn school." I rested my head on hers, closing my eyes, trying to relax.

"Awe, what happened?"

"I get my phone stolen, it goes to the fucking gym teacher, and he acts so nonchalant about the whole damn thing that it makes me want to vomit. Not to mention that school in general sucks. I hate it here. I feel like I don't belong."

She wrapped her arms around me tightly, "Awe hun, you do belong. As long as I'm here, you'll be fine."

I closed my eyes and began to silently cry. Why did this have to happen to me? I'm not a bad kid and I'm not lazy. I do all my homework, get good grades in school, have great friends, but I still can't figure out why my life sucked so badly.

A few minutes passed and I heard Victoria getting on the bus. She stopped right next to my seat, "Ryan, I need to tell you something. It's about Brent." Her voice was serious, so I nodded for Abigail to let me out so I could talk. She guided me to an empty seat near the front of the bus, gesturing me to sit down.

"So what happened?" I wasn't in the mood to hear anything right now, so whatever she was going to say, I would probably just ignore her if she didn't peek my interest.

"Apparently this morning while we weren't on the bus, my friends heard Brent talking shit about you. He was verbally ripping you apart."

My eyes widened, another tear slid down my face. I can't believe it. My best friend talked trash about me behind my back. "Who told you? I want to make sure this person wouldn't just say that to mess with me."

She pointed to a girl in the very back. "Ashley Mendez told me."

I looked down, infuriated. "Oh, I see." My eyes burst and the tear flowed out. "Did she tell you what he said?"

She hesitated for a moment but shook her head, "No, she didn't tell me." I didn't even notice her hand begin to twirl her hair. "Are you ok?" When she wanted to be, Victoria could be a great cousin.

"Y…yeah, I'll be fine. Just let me go sit down. I need to clear my mind." I walked back to my seat and sat down, not even letting Abigail cuddle up next to me.

She instantly knew something was up, "What did she say?"

"I can't trust anyone. My friends are all just gonna disappoint me eventually." I leaned up against the window and began crying. I thought I had good friends, but if my best friend would talk about me behind my back, who's to say my other ones wont.

She turned my face so that I was looking at her, "What happened Ryan? Who's ass am I gonna have to kick?"

"N…nobody's; I'm fine. Can you leave me alone please? I need to think." I leaned my head against the window and watched as the rain began to fall from the sky. I cant believe he would do that. What was I to him, just a stepping stone. He took my friends away from me and tossed me aside like I was a used napkin. Well, let's see how he likes it if I ignore him.

Abigail stayed hugged up next to me. She constantly kept asking me what happened, but I wouldn't talk. When it was her stop, she hugged me goodbye and got off, looking in the window where I was seated.

I began to cry again. Why did I care so much that Brent trashed me? He's just a friend, even though we were close, this shouldn't hurt this much. My mind kept shifting through all my thoughts, trying to figure out why my heart was hurting this much. I thought about how I would feel if I lost any of my other friends. It wouldn't hurt this badly if I lost one of my other friends, so why does it hurt this badly now.

The bus stopped in front of my aunts house and I got off along with Victoria. I didn't live in the school district where I attended school, so I faked living with my aunt for a few years now. I threw my things on the bench inside the house and quickly buried my face into my homework. I didn't have a lot to do, but I needed to distract myself from my thoughts.

Victoria came inside after me and instantly walked over to the phone. I assumed it was to call one of her friends, but she wouldn't have run upstairs to her room if that was the case.

I ignored it and finished all my homework in only an hour. Great, now what am I gonna do until my mom comes up. I walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch. Maybe a nap would help. I shut my eyes and quickly drifted into unconsciousness.

When I woke up, I heard screaming from the kitchen. Rubbing my eyes, I lazily made my way towards the screaming and was surprised at what I saw. Brent, his mother, and his brother were sitting at my aunts table. My mother was glaring at him, and Vicky and my aunt were sitting down at the breakfast counter. "Hey everyone. What's going on?"

My mother looked over and smiled, "Nothing sweetie, just go back into the living room and relax. I'm taking care of something." She turned back to Brent, her glare returned. "Why would you do that?"

Brent was crying, like full blown tears. His pale white skin clashed with the wooden table. "I don't know. I didn't mean to say those things."

Something in my mind clicked and I remembered what he did to me. "Is this about what I think it's about?"

He looked over at me and frowned; his light brown eyes pleading for me to help him. "You heard?"

"I didn't hear anything you said, but I heard that you said some nasty things about me. Now spill, what did you say?" I sat down right across from his and looked him right in the eyes.

He turned his head, a single, invisible tear slid down his face. "I called you a…an ugly freak who has no friends…and that I was only using you to take your friends away from you."

I took a deep breath and stood up, "Get out." My words were so soft I'm surprised he even heard them.

"Ryan, don't tell me to leave. I'm your friend." He walked over to me and tried to put his hand on my shoulder, but I turned away.

"No, you're not, because according to you, I have no friends." I walked past him and over to my mother, "Let's go home. I want to go to bed."

She nodded and got her keys, "Ok sweetie." We got in the car and drove home, instantly falling asleep when my head hit the pillow.

Why would you do that? After all we've been through, how could you just do that to me. I…loved you.