Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, if I did Remus and Sirius would've ended up together and everyone who died would still be alive. I shall not say names in case there's someone reading this who hasn't read the books, then again who hasn't read the books?

Notes: This is my first proper fan fiction. I do not know if I will continue writing it that all depends if you people like it or not. So do not be afraid to leave me a review, I will warn you though that I am an amateur writer so do not to be too harsh although I encourage critical feedback.

After roughly a year, I forgot about this fan fiction that I had attempted to write. So now a year later I'm going back to it, I am not going to edit the first chapter, as I hate reading my own writing back. So if you find any faults do not be afraid to tell me.

Warnings: In the near future yes there shall be male and male. So you are warned now, if you dislike it I advise that you leave the page. As I am not a fan of flamers. So you have been warned.

Remember the two R's; Read and Review.

CHAPTER ONE

Concrete memories and a silver blade

Dreams are things we get lost in we can climb the highest mountain swim in the deepest of seas, although memories, are things we can't change. However happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if only one remembers to turn on the light

"Remus, sweetie…" a voice said gently, shaking the dotted covers that Remus was under. It was the voice of a woman he would recognise even in the darkest of rooms. It was his mother.

Then a low voice answered, "Let him sleep Pam, after all it is his birthday."

"But I want to see if he likes his present!" replied his mother. Remus could hear the pout on her face.

As the March sunlight flooded his room through the crack in the pale green curtains, Remus slowly opened his tired eyes to look at the two figures sitting on his bed. The two smiling figures looked down and began to singing, terribly off key.

"Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday to you,

Happy Birthday, dear Remus,

Happy birthday to you!"

"And many more" grumbled his father as he chuckled. Remus slowly sat up smiling at his parents. He saw three neatly wrapped parcels at the bottom of his bed.

"Are they for me?" he asked in his high tone, hazel eyes wide.

"Unless you are an impostor pretending to be our Remus, then yes." his mother smiled as Remus looked a bit nervous "Here, this one's from me and your father" the tawny haired woman said, handing the small boy a medium sized box wrapped in balloon paper that was enchanted so whenever someone touched it the balloons would pop.

Remus soon had the paper torn off and was peering in at the gifts inside. He pulled out a muggle toy that was in the shape of a red ne naw—his father's idea, no doubt—however, Remus wasn't interested in toys like this. He was more interested in reading or getting read to.

However, his father believed that little boys should be interested in Quidditch and wrestling all the things it meant to be a man.

"It's a fire engine! I got it in a muggle shop," his father boasted, before saying, "However it was frightfully boring so I charmed the hose to spurt out water." he smiled. Remus was a little let down by this present but smiled and said "Thank you" anyway. Once again looking in the box, he noticed a small worn blue book. Picking it up, he read out the swirly print on the cover; "The Tales of Beedle the Bard"

"I spotted it whilst in— what's that shop again?" his mother asked his father. Remus' mother was a muggle but tried her best to fit into the magic world.

"Florish and Blotts?" the stubbly man suggested.

"That's the one!" his mother clicked her fingers, "And I thought you may like it, I know it's a children's book but-"

"I LOVE IT!" Remus said. Jumping out from under his covers and towards his mother, he wrapped his skinny arms around her neck "thankyouthankyouthankyou!" he hummed but was interrupted when his father let out a loud cough. He was probably jealous because he hadn't got a hug and appreciation off of Remus. Just as Remus was about to give his father a hug, he spoke.

"This ones from your gran" He thrust a brown package into Remus' hand, who reluctantly sat back down and began to open it. He could tell his father was a bit upset that he hadn't gotten a hug from Remus. His father had been on edge for a while now always arguing with his mum and sulking around the house.

After Remus got dressed, he settled to a nice breakfast of bacon, eggs and beans (in the shape of a smiley face — his mothers idea, no doubt). Soon, there were knocks on the cottage door. They were relatives from his mother side. When his father married his mother, his family disowned him. They said that he should be marrying a pureblood.

The rest of the evening was filled with presents cake and stories. When Remus' aunt Nelly was half way through her badger joke, shouting could be heard rising from the kitchen. His aunt started to talk louder as though it was going to drown out the shouting. "…You didn't take your pills?" a loud whisper said "John! You need to take them …Remember what happened last time?" "I know and I'm sorry … I'll-" "No sorry's. You promised me that you would take them and you've been lying to me! It's not going to go away on its own!" Pamela said, as Remus' Aunt Nelly got up and walked to the kitchen. "Alright Remus," his uncle Michael said, "Fancy showing me your presents?" He asked, trying to take Remus attention away from the hushed voices in the kitchen. After an hour of mumbled voices in the kitchen, his parents finally came back out again as everyone decided it was time to go. "Bye. Thanks for coming" Remus said, seeing his Aunt Nell out of the door; the last person who was there. "Well, I'll be dammed. Nine thirty" John Lupin said, picking up the china plates and taking them into the kitchen where Pamela Lupin was washing the others.

"I know the night seemed to fly by!"

Sleepily Remus bid a "Goodnight" to his mum and dad. He started to walk along the hall to his bedroom, when he heard a tap on the living room window. Turning, he saw a very formal black and grey bird with a letter in his beak. He guessed it was from his father's work after all he did work in the ministry.

"Dad!" he called, not taking his eyes off of the bird.

"Yes?" his father said, looking at Remus but adverted his faze towards the window were Remus was looking. "Work" he muttered, opening the window and taking the letter as the owl flew away.

"What is it John?" Pam asked, coming out of the kitchen dish cloth in hand.

But he didn't answer. Instead, he was reading the letter inside as sweat beaded on his forehead. His eyebrows knitted together slowly as he whispered, "Fenrir Greyback"

Remus looked confusingly at his mother as if waiting for an answer. Instead she said, "Who?"

"Remember the werewolf case?" Remus' mother looked shocked and nodded her head. "He's escaped, I've been told to keep a look out a—" he looked at Remus and said, "Go to bed."

Remus unwillingly walked up the stairs knowing if he argued it would end in a screaming match.

He left his bedroom door ajar as he put on his pajamas. He strained to hear the hushed voices of his parents.

"…Well, can't they get someone else out to look for him?"

"They're doing their best, Pam …"

"But I don't think it'll be good for you in your condition. Remember the last time?"

"… Pam" he pinched the bridge of his nose with his index finger and thumb.

As Remus put on his slippers, he heard the sound of a door slam shut. He toddled into the kitchen to see his mother switch the kettle on.

"Mummy?" he said, walking through the door. The older woman's eyes were red, like she'd been crying.

"Don't cry mummy! I'll help you clean up" the woman smiled, before saying, "Shouldn't you be in bed?" just then the kettle screamed in agony. Pam took it off the ring and poured the tea into a mug. "Be a dear and take this out to your father, but put on a coat first!"

Remus walked over to the coat hangers and retrieved his water proof jacket and slung it on his shoulders. He finally felt trust worthy as his mother handed him the cup with the sloshing hot liquid. He'd never been allowed to hold something hot before. Once he stepped out, his mother closed the door behind him. The kitchen light switched off, leaving him in the moonlight. A million twinkling lights hung all around the white orb in the sky it was truly breathtaking.

"Beautiful, isn't it?" his father said, sitting on the grass a couple of inches in front of him. He probably heard Remus' intake of breath

"How can something so beautiful turn people into evil beasts?" he spat out the last word.

"Well, they can't help it," Remus said, handing over the hot mug to his father, who was sitting on a tartan blanket "It's not their faults. It's the wolves that bit them"

"Ah, but you see that's it they become wolves and bite and kill other people" he took a sip before saying, "And Fenrir Greyback is one of the worst. He's helped make most of the wolves there are out there, which is why we try to round them up. Keep an eye on them"

"So what are you going to do with Greyback?" asked Remus, hugging legs to his chest. He could feel goosebumps on his arms. His father looked at him with a confused look on his face "When you get him what are you going to do?"

"Kill him" he said, as though it was the simplest thing in the world. Sometimes John forgot that his son was only seven and not a man. Remus sighed and looked down at his rain coat, fiddling with the open zip.

"That's unfair" Remus mumbled under his breath.

"Life's unfair" Remus didn't know how his father had heard him but he did. For a man of forty, his hearing was as sharp as a knife.

"Why has Greyback come for you … I mean. Weren't there other people on the case?" He said, twiddling with his thumbs now.

"Yes, there was but it was me who managed to catch him. I think that he wants me to suffer in the way that I made him suffer …" he trailed off, looking at Remus, who didn't dare ask what his father had done to make Greyback want Remus' father to suffer.

Not long after Remus' father finished his tea did he fall asleep. Remus could feel his own eyes getting heavier. His father was now on his back, snoring, his chest heaving up and down. Remus stared into the small forest that he'd been staring into for the best hour or so. He couldn't see anything. He was just about to decide wither he should get up and go to bed when he saw a flash of yellow in the shape of two round eyes.

He smacked his father's leg furiously but all he got was a grumble. As his father rolled over onto his side, the cup rolled out of his father's hand. Remus looked up. The eyes were heading towards him. Now he could hear the sound of a deep raspy snarl.

Remus began to shake his father hard but he just grumbled and shifted, he cursed his father for being a heavy sleeper. Remus stood up and began to drag his father towards the kitchen door. He half expected the wolf to go for his father but instead it walked past John Lupin and towards Remus who began to back away.

This was it. The end. "I'm going to die" Remus' whisper got caught in the wind and flew towards the wolf, which let out what sounded like a strangled laugh. Adrenaline began to rush through his body as he made a mad rush for the door but the wolf was faster. Its teeth were wedged deeply into Remus' torso narrowly missing his stomach and liver.

"STUPEFY!" a voice yelled, a voice that Remus recognized the a large blurry figure flew over Remus and hit the brick walls Remus' vision began to go hazy he felt himself dropping into a world of black he chanted in his head a prayer his mother used to say to him when he was little;

Now I lay me down to sleep,

I pray the Lord my soul to keep,

If I die before I wake,

I pray the Lord my soul to take.

John Lupin threw more curses at the wolf but it was too fast and dodged out of the way. It tried to get back to Remus, but Remus was gone now. It was a wolf that was in him now. John looked at his son his eyes closed and blood coming out of his side …

"JOHN! RUN!" Pamela screamed, bursting through the kitchen door the werewolf turned around to stare at the skinny woman. "YOU BASTARD! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SON?" she screamed her voice rising to a very high octave; a silver knife was in her hand. She ran up and collided with the werewolf not caring if she was hurt. The only thing that mattered was her son. She wedged the silver knife into the wolf's shoulder and pulled it out ready to make the killing stab, but the wolf retreated beck to the forest. The blood stained knife clattered on the patio.

She ran over to Remus and collapsed to her knees as she held her son in her arms hot tears streamed down her face. My son is dead … she thought there's no point in living. She rested her head on Remus' chest and was surprised when she heard the soft 'Boom boom … boom boom' A half smile spread across her face hope rushed through her as she picked Remus up.

"Come on, John. We've got to get Remus to the hospital" she said, standing up not caring that blood was dripping down her top and was smeared on her hands and cheek. John Lupin stood, teary eyed, holding the silver blood knife up to his throat "John … John put-put the knife down," She said, walking towards her husband, but with each step she took he held the knife closer. She stopped "What are you doing?" she asked, trying to ask as calmly as possible but her voice kept cracking.

"I-I wish I knew … but I-I can't live knowing-knowing that my son is … is a beast!" he stuttered, as if scared of his own son.

"No John … he's still our Remus … our baby boy. The wolf hasn't changed him" she tried to coax John out of it but he didn't seem to be letting up. "This is just the illness talking, not you! Come on and we'll talk about this" John had a very high form of depression and had to refused to take his pills. This was the fourth time John had tried to kill himself but Pamela was afraid that this time he would.

"But it has … tell-tell Remus I'm sorry … I love you Pam" he squeezed his eyes shut and dragged the jagged knife across his throat. Blood spurted out, hitting Pamela and Remus. John's knees crumpled and he hit the ground with a thud.

"JOHN!" Pamela screamed. Her voice cracked as new tears found themselves in her eyes. She felt that if she had cried any harder her eyes would fall out. But John was dead there was no way to bring him back … she carried Remus back into the house she had to get him to the hospital … quick.