Setting: Approximately two years after the Fourth Shinobi World War, with some major and minor twists of events and timelines (explained along the way), that make characters older than manga would have them at this point (Rookie 9 are 23-years-old).
Paring: Naruto/Hinata
Rating: would hit M, eventually
Warning: violence and adult themes
Summary: Naruto forgot how to be a hero – hard to remember that doing one assassination mission after another. But now there's a villain to catch for him, his crimes truly morbid. Question is, who's the bigger bastard – the chased or the chasing one.
Disclaimer: Long story short – what belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, is his sole property and I do not intent to expropriate it in any way. The other stuff is mine.
! IMPORTANT ! Chapter One is reposted with some minor but important changes (mostly in the last scene). I strongly advise you to re-read it or else you'll be seriously confused by the Chapter Two. Also, it's a good way to remind yourself of what you forgot when the story was getting cold.
Last but not least, big thanks to Mystery Penman, who agreed to do the dirty job of beta-reading this story.
CHAPTER ONE
"I refuse your request, jounin. Dismissed."
Tsunade rarely was that formal with anyone, even if the situation actually demanded it. And being formal with one of her own, the woman she practically considered a family for the sake of the man both of them loved – that was uncalled for. When combined with the deadly calmness she was radiating, it delivered a clear message: the Fifth was far beyond pissed off.
Jiraiya had once come up with 'Princess Tsunade Rage Scale', where one hime-anger stood for 'mildly irritated' and came with a warning of possible fists flying in the direction of offending party's vital organs. Five hime-angers meant 'enraged beyond belief' – too late for the evacuation to fallout shelter. Right now Tsunade had hit seven and was on the short way to eight. Only people without an ounce of common sense would have approached her in this mood.
And to think all this was managed by a woman, that not five years ago was a girl having problems with speaking full sentence without stuttering. Uzumaki Hinata had certainly gone far.
"I'll make myself dismissed, when you tell me you won't call upon my husband to kill another man" answered Hinata with quiet but firm voice. Her inner was a puddle of frightened goo but on the outside she looked tranquil. Hinata might have mastered famous Hyuuga equanimity only after she had changed her last name, but she probably could beat Neji now. She never shouted, she was probably physically incapable of yelling, but when it came to important things she could be as impossible to turn in her ways as the Kuma River.
Clearly Tsunade-sama was pushed to the last extends of her civilized behavior with this unwavering defiance, because the top of her desk started cracking under the pressure of her elbows. Shizune, who took strategic point beside the door, cringed violently at the sound.
"Hinata. Go home and cool off" ordered Hokage through the gritted teeth. Which translated from Tsunade's speech into common language meant: go home, so that I could cool off.
Tsunade was almost Hinata's mother-in-law as well as her Hokage and definitely a figure that was capable of forcing authority upon usually yielding younger woman. But not in this particular case.
"Tsunade-sam-"
The desk snapped in half and the splinters shot around the Hokage office as senbons. Shizune gave a show of formidable reflex as she managed to duck behind the massive bookshelf, when one half of the table hit the wall at the exact spot she was standing mere seconds ago. The other half went through the window and landed with a thud four floors below.
Hinata, quite surprisingly for herself, stayed where she had stood before the Fifth finally went ballistic. She lowered hands as she ended her Eight Trigrams Protection jutsu with which she had shielded herself from flying splinters and glass shards.
There was time, when as much as an awry glance could make Hinata cower and it wasn't so long ago. But once she had faced Pain to save Naruto – she wasn't backing off from facing woman that was no real threat. Not that Tsunade wasn't ten times stronger than Hinata and couldn't mangle her with one swing of that fist of hers. But she did not wish Hinata harm and definitely didn't wish it Naruto. Even if she was acting as if that was her sole goal.
"You're wrong" Hinata stated. "Wrong, wrong. Wrong. And you're determined not to see it until he'd be broken beyond repair."
"Grow the hell up, girl!" Tsunade yelled at last, and it was probably heard all the way to the Konoha Gates. "Life is ugly and some people have ugly jobs to do. You're supposed to be a shinobi, so act like it. You knew, who you were marrying."
She was trying to make it about Hinata, because then she wouldn't have to consider what she was told. The Fifth couldn't be that blind, just stubborn – the trait she shared with her 'adoptive' grandson. So this attempt at altering the argument tugged at Hinata's not-so-endless patience.
"Someone here surely isn't acting like an adult, but that's not me."
Tsunade's answer was a swing of her fists. Aimed at the wall.
"Hinata, enough", whispered Shizune, eyes glued to her shishou shaking with barely restrained rage. Shizune knew the Fifth like no one else, and she was the best judge of Tsunade's temper. If she was saying 'enough', Hinata probably should retreat. And under different circumstances she'd do exactly this, but now Tsunade was so angry she couldn't speak. It may be the only chance for Hinata to get few words past Hokage's obstinate mind.
"I know my husband" she told. "Better than you, it seems. Naruto would shatter before he disappoints you and fails the duty to his village. You're the only one to stop this, because he won't, even if it'll cost him everything."
"My boy won't break" said Tsunade firmly and Hinata wondered, which one of them the Fifth was trying to convince. "He had lived through the hell and it forged his strength. And he did it alone as you weren't there to take care of him."
The jab hit home. Hard. One of Hinata's greatest faults was being too weak to protect those precious to her. Even during their academy days Naruto had protected her from the bullies, but she was too much of a coward to stand up for him when he was abused by the villagers – though she knew of their wrongdoings. She never got over this.
"His hell was of his own suffering", she spoke up, voice quivering from sobs of powerlessness gathering at her throat. She forced them down with last shreds of her will and continued. "He was hurting, but his own pain he could always endure. And you're right, it gave him push to go forward with all he'd gotten. Killing enemies – that he could do, too, as long as it was to protect those he considered his. But pain of the others he has never forborne well. And murdering for a pay, when his prey clings to his feet, begs for mercy he's not to give – it's eating his soul out." By then tears flowed quietly from Hinata's eyes. "But I'm the only one to see it."
Tsunade flinched as if slapped, and when she set her amber orbs on Hinata's pearl ones, they were clouded by grief. The Fifth wasn't the only one to push out of her mind things she didn't wish to acknowledge. Hinata knew her husband wasn't the only one suffering under the new order of post-war restrictions, that were to keep peace Five Great Nations never knew before – but she couldn't allow herself to sympathize with Lady Hokage. Not until the Fifth would change her ways.
Nevertheless, when Hinata saw genuine sorrow in Tsunade's eyes, she had almost teetered in her tenacity. For one moment she thought, she had broken through. Then Tsunade's gaze became of cold steel and her lisp set in a tight line.
"Naruto is stronger than you're giving him credit for. You are a little girl that measures everyone with the scale she fits into – but he's far above you in terms of shinobi abilities. Go home, before I would have to punish you for disrespecting your Hokage."
It was the blank stare that was drilling the wall behind Hinata's back and not her soul, which told the young woman it was useless. Tsunade knew. Tsunade understood and was hoping – against all the signs that scared her – that Naruto would hold his shit together. There was no anger for Hinata upon this realization. Only despair.
She met her Hokage's eyes for a long moment before acknowledging she had failed Naruto again.
…
Hinata knew exactly when Naruto stepped into their home – sensing others' chakra was one of few skills she was to par up with him at and even his Sage Mode didn't change that. But all she was getting now was the slightest hint of presence, which meant he was shielding himself and doing this far more accurately than usually. That told her more about his state of mind than the entire chakra simmer she could have felt.
From the way he closed himself completely, she knew it was another bad mission that probably ended with blood spilled and bodies torn to shreds. Bodies of people he had no wish to kill.
When the new peace treaty between Five Countries was signed, rules had changed. All agreed on the fact, that next war should be avoided at all costs, and on the methods of acquiring that. Previous conflicts sprouted at the grounds of border crossed without permission, breaches of inter-village protocol, suspicions of spying and kidnapping valuable shinobi to possess secrets of another nation – invasion and robbery, to sum it up. Those should not be concerns of mutual friends that trusted each other. But shinobi had never been that. Even shedding blood for the common cause, fighting abreast with former foes, forming alliance that was unheard of before did not change the core of shinobi existence: constant vigilance and not an ounce of belief in others' honesty.
So the new rules were made and they were enforced without mercy. All were subdued to them – civilians and shinobi, loyal and rouge. Second chances were luxury not to be afforded often. The elimination missions that Hokage was to assign to her ninjas had tripled in numbers during last year and there were no more only criminals and missing-nins in bingo books. There were those mistaken, too. And someone had to execute them.
Some refused and were stripped of their ranks.
But others did what the village demanded of them. Did it, and withered from the inside like Naruto.
At firs Hinata was able to help, but when more of the shinobi took upon this silent protest of rebuffs and Naruto was overstretched with duties of four men, not one, it was beyond her power to do a thing for him. Still, she had tried. She went with him – she was accounted ANBU sub like all the chuunins that had gotten jounin straps during the war and walked out of it alive. But when she started having nightmares about a man that had fallen to his knees in mute entreaty before his execution, Naruto forbade her to go ever again. He went as far as forcing a promise from Tsunade to take Hinata off of the ANBU subs list.
She grew in strength slowly but certainly from that day of Chuunin Exam preliminaries. She was a pathetic weakling no more – and although her body's boundaries would never allow her great physical power like Haruno Sakura possessed, she developed a will of steel and liked to think about herself as strong-minded. She could make Naruto change his mind or go to the Fifth and convince her that Hokage cannot allow herself to write off any jounin. She could go on elimination missions again. But she wasn't fighting this case, because she realized her presence was making Naruto's job only harder. He saw himself as a monster – dutiful one and useful, though – and couldn't believe she didn't also, when she witnessed the death he brought.
She might have tried other options. If she was too weak to be of help to her husband, then others' might take her place. But Naruto refused to be paired up with anyone but Sasuke and his best friend was still serving his parole – he could go outside of the village only under the escort of four ANBU. Even in better times Tsunade wouldn't allow the waste of human resources, sending six man on the mission that one could complete.
So Naruto hunted alone – and loneliness was something he had knew from the first days of his life, as Lady Tsunade had pointed out. His missions were always success – and a failure at the same time. Naruto's protective instincts could be rivaled only by those of Sabaku no Gaara, who once stripped himself of all his sand to protect his people and nearly paid with his life for that. Naruto's need to protect the weak was compulsory almost, and it included, paradoxically, some of those he was to execute. When he killed them, he killed part of himself, too.
Hinata could feel Naruto standing just inside their home – little house he had build with his own hands to show her father he could provide for her and the family they would create – so she sent some more of her chakra through the water of small pond. The pond was Naruto's built, too, but to create miniature waterfall he employed Inari, who had become quite famous engineer. "In memory of the first time I was made speechless" Naruto whispered, when he was showing her around their home for the first time.
If she went to the front doors and try to welcome him, he would met her with empty eyes, turn around and leave for the training grounds, where Rock Lee could be found most of this days. He'd come back well into the night, battered and bruised and not one ounce happier. He'd collapse then on the couch in the living room.
It had been nearly a month since he'd last touched her, seven weeks and three days since he'd made love to her. Four missions since he had stopped sleeping in their bed. It was too intimate of knowledge for Hinata to divulge it before anyone, but she would have to tell that to Tsunade, if she had any hope it would change Hokage's mind. But she had given up on making the Fifth see the reason.
It took her two days after their last clash to come up with the new plan.
Now she was waiting for her husband in the backyard, ankles deep in the pond. She decided to speak to him without words, let her dance tell everything she was unable to express. Thin spurt of water flew in the gentle arch above her head. Another swirled, traveling up her left calf. After a moment she heard the gravel on the path crunching under slow steps and almost breathed out in relief. Naruto always told her she was mesmerizing him with her water dance – the tranquility she was radiating able to rub onto him.
She sling out her arms, twin threads of water crisscrossing in spirals around her figure. She was coaxing him but he stopped on the edge of gravel path. She could feel his eyes on her, but he was quieter than she.
Hinata knew that when she was dancing her face was peaceful and distant – product of her father's coaching from the days of her early childhood, albeit mastered only in her adolescence. Father always told her furrowed brows and quivering lip was a dead giveaway that she has troubles with the technique she's performing, a knowledge no shinobi should be giving freely his enemies. There were no enemies here, but Hinata was grateful for Father's teachings nonetheless. Her features were too unusual to rival classic beauty of Yamanaka Ino, but she wasn't ugly either and today she had used her little knowledge of make-up tricks to give her cheeks soft colors and emphasize her eyes.
She glanced at Naruto briefly. His sunshine hair and sky-blue orbs made him an incarnation of sunny summer day. With every year he resembled his father more and more, his mother's blood apparent only in subtle ways: the shape of his eyes, the warm shade of his skin. It was his job, not his lineage, that set his features in cold stone, left his pupils dark holes of nothingness. His duties had eaten him away until there was only wiry muscles and constant tension.
Hinata drew a wide circle on the water surface in front of her with her bare right toe, taking her right arm in wide sweeping gesture followed by narrow stream of liquid. Nothing complicated and requiring much of concentration – she wasn't training but trying to seduce Naruto into letting her help.
If she couldn't get Lady Tsunade to quit sending her husband out to kill, maybe she could get Naruto to let her allay him when he was back, share some solace with him. It might buy some time before she would find the right Gentle Fist technique to beat some sense into Hokage's thick skull.
She didn't allow herself to spare him another glance, even though she was starving for the sight of him. She stared instead at the maple tree leafs gently waving in the light summer breeze, while Naruto was watching her from his spot on the gravel path. If she could get him to approach her, to quit trying to protect her from his job…
And then she screwed up.
She sent the spurt of water in his direction, rounding about his neck – a game of theirs he always liked. It brushed him, her chakra surging trough it touched his skin, and for a brief moment all the barriers he had built up between them collapsed when she disturbed his chakra flow.
It was an accident on her part, no conscious planning in the act, but Naruto had already turned and walked away purposefully. He, who had run head-first into the deadly danger, backed out before her.
Hinata stepped out of the pond, bare feet tickled by the soft grass. He wouldn't be back for hours now, maybe wouldn't return for the night choosing to bunk under the tree on the training grounds after he and Lee would beat the souls out of each other.
Hinata went into the house, but she couldn't find a place for herself. She put on her shoes and escaped too.
…
Hinata thought about facing Tsunade once again and making her listen. But when the Hokage Tower silhouette emerged from behind other village buildings, she walked the opposite direction.
She had tried talking, reasoning, pleading even – more than once. To no avail; Tsunade could be almost as stubborn as her adopted grandson, when she set her mind to something. More so, when she was wrong about it. Besides, it was quite likely Naruto was giving his Hokage the mission report right now. It would be awkward to follow him – as if Hinata was stalking her own husband. And what she was to tell the Fifth this time? – Old lady knew everything there was to know. She just weighted the peace amongst shinobi nations against the peace of Naruto's mind and found the risk of him losing it an acceptable casualty.
So Hinata walked away from the Tower and stopped only when she reached the opposite side of the village – precisely, a tenement house painted in a faded shade of green. There, at the airy attic, was located an apartment of the last man left in Konoha that could be of some help to her.
He was known as Copy Ninja and, after the most recent war, as the Bloodhound, but he did not take any pride in carrying those names. He said it was a thing of scared people to reduce what they're afraid of to the name of a mere part of the whole. He was still hiding his face behind the tight-fitting mask and the mass of his silvery hair seemed to be even more unruly than usual, covering his eyes - which always had made it difficult to ascertain who he was at the core of his being. Hinata was one of the few privileged to see his true face – metaphorically as well as literally. He was quite handsome, very astute and extremely deadly. And right now he was standing in the doorway, a drooling infant in his arms and a baby bottle tucked in the kunai holster on his hip.
"Kakashi-sempai", she greeted him.
"Hinata", he replied, stepping aside to let her in. "Come. I'm in the middle of S-Class mission of feeding Hotaru. How Shizune manages it so effortlessly is beyond me."
The loud thud of quick albeit still a little awkward baby steps approached from the direction of sitting room and a boy of no more than a year and a half stumbled into the anteroom. His dark eyes took a while to focus on the new person in the house, but when he managed it, the most radiant baby smile decorated his chubby features.
Hinata felt as if half of the sorrow was whipped out of her soul – Hatake Kenji was putting most of Konoha man's wooing skills to shame.
"Oba!" he exclaimed cheerfully. And then in the same voice "I pee!"
Only then both adults noticed the boy's pants sported, quite obvious in source, splotch of wetness. Hotaru, on the contrary, was more interested in her food – or the lack of thereof – and she made it known by the unhappy cry coming from her rosy mouth.
Hatake Kakashi, the man that single-handedly defeated revived Nightmare of Bloody Mist, looked at loss when faced with the two of his kids.
"Kenji, you're supposed to come to me before you do the thing" he told his son.
"No know before, chichi" said the boy in the tone of voice that clearly stated his dad was expecting an impossible.
Kakashi sighed.
Hinata decided to come to his rescue and took fussing Hotaru from his hands. Kakashi handed her the bottle of infant formula with a kind of relief and then proceeded to take care of his son. He grabbed the boy by the middle and lifted him in his arms, not bothering that his shirt would be soaked in no time – it already took a fair share of baby bodily fluids in the form of Hotaru's drool.
"I'll change him", he told Hinata, who was completely absorbed by cooing baby girl. "Make yourself at home."
"Right, Kakashi-sempai", she murmured, tickling Hotaru's belly with one finger. "We'll do just fine with this adorable little creature. Right, Hotaru-chan?"
Kakashi's daughter gave a delighted squeak and instantly latched herself onto the bottle, Hinata held for her. When Kakashi came into the sitting room with cleaned up Kenji hoisted onto his shoulder, he found Hinata in the armchair, Hotaru thirstily sucking the bottle while snuggling comfortably in the young woman's arms.
The time Hinata had been given, the sweet bundle in her arms and the warmth of Hatake family home managed to calm her down, but when she looked up at Kakashi, her pearl eyes still held the misery nagging at her soul.
Kenji wiggled in his father's embrace, when he realized the ride was over and there were more interesting things down on the ground. Kakashi set him on the floor and watched his son's clumsy walk to the corner of the room, where the pile of colorful toy blocks was located.
"You have the sweetest kids, Kakashi-sempai. You're lucky" Hinata remarked taking the bottle away from Hotaru, when the infant drifted into light nap.
Kakashi fixed his guest with that unreadable gaze of his, noticing aching pain in Hinata's eyes when she was looking at peaceful form of his baby girl. He knew the cause. As much as Hinata adored the kids of her husband's former sensei, she wanted a child of her own. It was no puzzle. Besides, Naruto broached the subject when Kakashi and Shizune asked him to be a godfather of their son. He had agreed, of course, but it was evident he doubted his abilities to take care of such a frail human being. Nearly two years had passed since then, but Naruto hadn't overcome his precariousness, as it seemed.
"I'm the lucky man, indeed" Kakashi replied at last. "But you didn't come here to discuss kids, Hinata. Or did you?"
"No" she sighed, while he sat himself in the armchair opposite of her, low coffee table separating them. "I came to discuss shinobi. Specifically, the rules that bound us. There's no one to know the rules and obey them more accurately than you, so naturally I sought your advice, Kakashi-sempai. Tsunade-sama has to quit giving Naruto assassination missions. It's destroying him."
Kakashi was looking at her with signature shinobi blankness that was starting to unnerve Hinata like nothing else. "You know Naruto killed a man before he even formally graduated from the Academy? That Mizuki-scum. Saved Iruka's life that time. He's not a fragile child in need of protection."
"He's not a killer, either."
"I beg to differ. His file says another story." Kakashi could be obnoxiously straightforward when it suited his needs. "He had killed more enemies by the age of eighteen than some of the shinobi do through their whole life – and that was before the war even started. I doubt there's anyone, save Uchiha Itachi, who has more kills under the belt than your husband."
But Hinata had learned persistence from the unquestionable master of it. She wasn't about to retreat so quickly.
"He isn't. Killing tears him apart. He sees this as a necessity-"
"Which it is" Kakashi stated in his sensei-voice and Hinata finally grew fed-up with people patronizing her.
"Fine", she said sharply. Hotaru made a disturbed sound and Hinata suppressed her irritation for the sake of the child resting in her arms. "Fine", she repeated more calmly. "I know it's a necessity. Naruto wouldn't kill anyone, if it wasn't absolute necessity. He is one of few that hadn't rebelled against new duties and the only one who certainly will complete the mission no matter how skilled the target. And Hokage cannot allow herself to lose any man now, so she's sending the one that is sure to come back unharmed. Only he's not coming back unharmed. He's not coming back all the way, anymore." She took a deep breath, when her voice threatens to rise up once again. "What is necessary isn't always possible to obtain" she ended barely above a whisper.
Kakashi sighed. "Women." He went quiet for a while, as if thinking about the right words to say. "Calm down, Hinata. I do understand. You're a kunoichi, an unthinkable mix of womanly kindness and shinobi's determination. And you saw your mentor losing her beloved one. But you've always had faith in Naruto. Have it now."
Hinata met Kakashi's gaze and held it. "When he came home today, I accidentally broke his shield and felt what he's hiding inside. It's not his disturbance" – she clarified, before Kakashi had a chance to interrupt her – "that terrifies me. It's the fact; he had run away from me. He never runs away."
"He doesn't want to taint you." Kakashi spoke up with a strain in his voice, "I know of this. We all – who have someone precious to us – know of this. Its years since the last time duty forced me to act against my conscience, but there are still days I won't take my kids in my arms, I won't hug them and won't kiss my wife, because I'm scared the ugliness of my deeds would rub off on them. And my precious ones will be stigmatized. I'd rather die, than bring this upon them."
The silence was gravely; even Kenji quit his babbling in the corner of the room.
"Naruto will greet his teeth, work out his frustration trying to punch Sasuke into another dimension and cope with it, as he always does. You should quit worrying about him and start worrying how you are going to deal with the situation you got yourself into."
Hinata knew her husband's first sensei didn't divide his attention equally between his students at first. She knew it wasn't Kakashi but Jiraiya to first saw the true potential in Naruto, and more so – to bother with listening to the loudmouth's endless blabbing. It was only after Jiraiya's death and after Team Seven reunion upon Sasuke's return, that Kakashi become Naruto's true mentor. Not a teacher anymore, but an older comrade who gave advice rather than orders, and would explain some intricacies of life when bribed with first collector's edition of 'Icha Icha' series. Hinata was aware of this all but never thought Kakashi still had only the surface-knowledge of his most formidable student.
Kakashi was Hinata's last, forlorn hope and he proved to be equally blind as everyone.
She got up, kissed Hotaru's velvety cheek, deposed sleeping girl in her father's arms and turned to leave. Her chest was heavy with despair and feeling of hopelessness. She failed once again. She didn't know anymore how to make Kakashi, to make Tsunade, see the truth. Tsunade was the one that counted, and Hinata hoped Kakashi-sempai would be of some help in persuading the Fifth that things with Naruto were worse than bad. But that wouldn't be.
She stopped in her walk at the doorway, not sure why she was bothering with this – probably she just needed to let this out, unable to confine her worries anymore, even if no-one else seemed to take them seriously.
"He is stronger than all of shinobi this world had ever borne combined, but even he isn't invincible. He never mentioned being Hokage in last months."
Kakashi's head came up, proving he knew something about his former student, at last. Albeit that wasn't exactly a secret knowledge.
"Perhaps", he said standing up; too, "Tsunade and I should speak about this."
…
Kakashi let himself inside Tsunade's office through the closed window – well, it was closed before he had approached it. Tsunade never objected, even if she had a habit of throwing other shinobi – ANBU included – through the window they had used. She was particularly attached to the use of the doors. But Kakashi she ignored with sort of patient indifference that almost made him use the doors and knock before entering.
Hokage's new desk was already overflown with papers, but they were neatly stacked in piles thanks to his wife's doings. Save from the stacks of documents, the office was empty, though.
Kakashi's ears picked up the muffled sounds of conversation coming from the balcony on the other side of the room. Even if he wouldn't have recognized the voice of the Fifth's interlocutor, he couldn't mistake the chakra signature – albeit the man was shielding it meticulously as Hinata had stated.
Kakashi wondered briefly if he should join the balcony assembly for the sake of what he had to say. Strategy would be of highest importance. Someone of Hokage's position – especially someone possessing Lady Tsunade's strong-mindedness – would not be compelled to do a thing, only persuaded. And Tsunade proved to be exceptionally immune to persuasions in this case.
Ultimately, Kakashi decided Naruto's presence wouldn't be of advantage to him, and stayed inside the office.
For the time being he amused himself with going through the scrolls laid out in neat order on the impressive bookshelf. He wasn't breaching any laws, beside those of common courtesy that forbade looking through other people's belongings without their consent. But these scrolls didn't contain top secret information – only medical gibberish he would never come to understand even though piles of the same stuff was lumbering most of the bookshelves in his apartment superseding his precious romance novels. But between medical textbooks he found a scroll he was never expecting to see there – though he probably shouldn't be surprised at its location, in fact.
It was small, sealed once with a thick drop of red wax that almost crumbled into nothingness by now. When Kakashi opened it, he instantly recognized the lopsided handwriting he had known from the autographed set of 'Icha Icha' books Naruto gave him for his thirtieth birthday and from occasional intelligence reports he read like most of the jounins. He also recognized the words. He read them as a bedtime story for Kenji such often, that he almost learned them by heart. His son seemed to never be bored by this tale.
"Tired of paternal leave already? You came here to beg me for a C-rank to free you from mundane home duties?" Tsunade walked into the office and seated herself in a chair with high backrest. She gave Kakashi mocking once-over and spotted scroll in his hands. "Or you're hunting my personal library for the fables to read your kids, Hatake? If so, I firmly advise against this particular one, especially if you want them to became shinobi one day. No need to imprint them with false image of the job."
"None of us wants our kids to become shinobi, but in the end they all end up in the same mess we're trying to shield them from" Kakashi replied.
"In desperate need of philosophical debate, Hatake? You've took upon the wrong window, then. Two windows right is an office of Nara Shikamaru, maybe he'd be interested. If he's not too engrossed in cloud-watching."
Tsunade's eyes were dull, her skin papery, the wrinkles between her eyebrows visible – obvious signs of her weariness as she nursed her vanity only more adamantly with each passing year. And she presented Kakashi with a snappy humor she harbored only when she was pushed to the edge.
Instead of replying to her taunts, Kakashi went back to reading the handwritten version of Jiraiya's best novel. Tsunade snorted and grabbed the nearest pile of documents that required her attention. There was an intent silence in the office that had nothing to do with Tsunade's and Kakashi's preoccupation with their respective lectures.
The Fifth gave up first.
"So" she started with obvious bitterness over her defeat. The fact she was used to losing her bets did nothing to sooth her discontent at the newest failure. "I believe you didn't come here to read Jiraiya's dashing novel of heroes not to exist and questions not to be answered."
"Nah" Kakashi denied, folding the scroll at last. "But I came because of a hero and a question needing the right answer, even though there's seemingly none."
"Hinata had come to cry her eyes out on your shoulder? If I knew how much troubles will cause this quiet mouse the moment she won't be held on her father's tight leash I would-"
"Take upon the job of her abusive trainer, when it was vacated by Hiashi?" Kakashi suggested slyly. "Or force him to place Caged Bird Seal on her forehead, when it was determined she won't be next clan leader?"
The air in the office became chill, though it was a warm summer afternoon.
"I know better, Princess Tsunade" stated Kakashi with a glint of a smile in his only visible eye. "You'd have clawed her out from her father's clutches first thing after your return to the village, and certain blonde brat wouldn't have to ask you twice for this. You like people with a character, girls even more so. You'd probably made her your apprentice alongside Sakura, because you prize those with enough guts to oppose to you. Even now, when you're irritated with her, you want to congratulate her on her defiance. And the knowledge she did it for the sake of Naruto, only makes you appreciate it more."
Tsunade's face hardened at the last words, but she made no comment – no move even – to decline Kakashi's conclusion.
"Hinata visited me" Kakashi continued. "I told her, she needed to dispel her childish illusions. Naruto isn't a hero clad in golden armor, but regular shinobi. And all shinobi are nothing more than tools to be used for the welfare of the nation."
That wasn't word-for-word relation of what Kakashi had said, but he'd have bet it was what Tsunade had told Hinata – choking on her own words, most probably. And he was better gambler than Hokage. The Fifth's expressionless face told him he scored high.
"I told her, preserving the peace amongst Five Nations is paramount to everything else. We cannot afford the new war when we're not up after the last one. And we don't want one. The pros of inter-village alliance far overtop the cons – when looking at the bigger picture."
The muscle on the Tsunade's jaw quirked, because Kakashi had a talent for voice imitation and he had put everything he got in this one. He was quite proud of himself, actually – he'd managed a perfect mix of Tsunade with a tint of old geezers from Village Council she so despised of.
"I think the message hit home, finally" Kakashi said returning to his own voice. "I was content with a smidge knowledge I defeated her with my outstanding show of oratory brilliance, and showed her a womanly mind would never understand what it means to be a shinobi – that's exactly why old ways of not letting girls into Academy were the right ones."
Tsunade sent him a deadly stare, so he knew he had hit the point with that last remark.
"Then she told me, Naruto never mentioned overthrowing your rule and taking that funny hat for himself in weeks. When was the last time this brat went one day without exclaiming he'd be next Hokage, 'believe it!'?"
Tsunade's eyes were shocked. She never knew. She jumped up and began pacing, because breaking second desk in less than a week was uncalled loss of temper, even for her.
"Then what should I do?" she asked accusingly, as if this situation was Kakashi's personal fault. "Are you volunteering for the job?"
Both of them knew it was not an option. Kakashi had quit ANBU twice, and circumstances of both leaves didn't allow him the third go. It wasn't a matter of rules written in some ANBU guidelines, it was a matter of reality.
Tsunade was ranting. "I'm doing what I can. Naruto is not the only one I sent on those missions. I'm trying to divide them equally, but I don't have enough people. Last week I was forced to cashier the Inuzuka brat, for disobeying a direct order. I have no idea what to do with him and the others – I've got at least forty jounin-rank shinobi doing C and B-class missions because they're officially genins with a disciplinary punishment in their files! I cannot simply reinstate their ranks, because the rules explicitly say the only way to get promotion is to undertake an exam or to exhibit an exceptional skill and prowess while performing shinobi duties. Hard to do that escorting merchants and carrying scrolls with mildly important information. My hands are tied and I'm wondering how I'll explain few dozens of adults attempting Chuunin Exams in two months – some of them war heroes – because other Kages won't let this fact slide, that's sure."
Kakashi listened, and listened in silence. When it was clear Tsunade had nothing more to say, he bowed his head in a show of respect and acknowledgement.
"That's why you are the Hokage, Lady Tsunade, and I'm glad I didn't have to take upon the role of the Rokudaime." He placed The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi on Tsunade's desk. "I've always thought we, disillusioned and seeing the harshest part of life for the most time, need heroes more than others."
Then he fled through the same window he had entered, leaving the Fifth with only herself to argue further with.
And with some memories.
They came the moment window was closed and surrounded Tsunade with bitter-sweet mist of feelings she treasured as nothing else, even if they were making her hurt more often than comforting her.
He came too, naturally. He had never left, not completely – just as he'd promised. And he might be accused of many things but not of backtracking on his words. That was what had made him such an exceptional ninja.
"What shall I do, Jiraiya?" she whispered, her amber, unseeing eyes fixed on the photo she hanged on the wall.
And he answered, because he had promised not only to be beside her, but to be her advisor along the way.
Let him be a hero.
…
Tsunade didn't leave her office that night – an occurrence with such frequency it stopped bothering anyone but Shizune around half a year into the Fifth's reign. This time, though, it wasn't former apprentice to find Hokage slumped over the desk, head resting on a pile of messed up forms she didn't finished signing off – it was Shikamaru.
He had knocked on his boss's door with face expression already sour and the fact she didn't answered after the third round didn't make him any happier. By far, the most troublesome duty he had to perform as Hokage's advisor was dealing with her in a drunken state. Thankfully Shizune had saved him from it most of the times – the three months of her maternal leave this year were a walk through hell for Shikamaru, and he was more than grateful when she was back. Unfortunately, even with Shizune around there were times when he was forced to do that unpleasant job.
Oh, and when he'd deliver her the news that had made him come here in the first place, she would be delighted, no doubt.
Dragging his feet as if he was going for his own execution, Shikamaru went into the Hokage's office. Tsunade was fast asleep, as he expected, but there were no sake bottles in sight vicinity and young Nara wasn't able – for a split second – to decide if it was a good or a bad sign.
"Ughm" he probingly cleared his throat, at last. No response. "Ughm!", he tried louder this time, mussing over the fact it should be Uchiha Sasuke doing this. Or Hyuuga Neji, maybe. Both of them had brainsick ability to communicate with outer world with non-verbal grunts, hn-s and aa-s – it came with a bloodline limit, no doubt.
Before Shikamaru had a chance to give a third try, though, Tsunade awoken and saved him the trouble. He waited patiently at a safe distance, possessing hard-earned knowledge that her mobility, aim and temper used to came back before the clear thinking. When she lifted her head and moved blond tresses out of her eyes, he deemed situation relatively safe and said "Report came from the Mission Oversight Department."
"Who wrote?" Tsunade asked, proving she was conscious indeed, but her voice was still raspy from the sleep.
"Sasuke."
"Good" Tsunade grumbled at that. Uchiha Sasuke's reports were the only ones she ever bothered to read – because they were the only readable ones from all the kilometers of epistles that came for her and were left to encroach with dust in the archives. It wasn't because Uchiha had an exceptional talent for wording. It was because even the most challenged in the expressing-themselves-department could refine his skills when all he did for a year was writing reports. Tons of them. "Brief me."
"C-class went awry. It was bodyguard duty commissioned by craftsmanship company from our village. We dispatched standard team: jounin and two chuunins."
"And?" It was still too early for more than monosyllables for Tsunade.
"One of chuunins was killed tonight. And the mission object disappeared."
"Else?"
"That chuunin was wiped out and the object snatched before the rest of the team even noticed something's wrong. Suspected involvement of enemy ninjas", Shika hesitated on the last two words. 'Enemy ninjas' wasn't a proper term anymore, because all shinobi were allied now. But 'vying party' somehow stuck in his throat. "ANBU assistance is mandatory." Nara Shikamaru's reports would have been readable too, had he ever bothered himself with writing them.
Tsunade didn't utter a word after Shika finished, so he was forced to wait for the dismissal. His job was such a drag most of the times, really.
"Would I be required for anything else?" he asked, when it became apparent the Fifth wouldn't say a thing on her own.
"And would that genius brain of yours come up with an answer to whom am I supposed to send for assistance, when I have not a single ANBU to spare?"
She really wasn't planning on spurting that out, but when it was done, she decided it was for the best. Shikamaru was familiar with all the players, he probably knew more situation details than she and when he was making a use of his intellect he was seen to solve seemingly impossible dilemmas – exactly what she had need from him now. So she had told him everything.
Shikamaru listened without a word of comment, then folded his fingers in concentration-pose and was quiet for some more time.
"You have to back off on death sentences, Hokage-sama."
Tsunade growled. If that was Shikamaru's brilliant recipe, then she should reconsider his usefulness as her prime advisor. When his father did the job, he had at least enough mind to stay quiet, when he had nothing useful to say.
But Shikamaru, as it seemed, was hit by unusual wave of talkativeness today.
"Squad Sixteen. Unlicensed border-crossing. They were pursuing suspected child kidnapper."
"Suspected and confirmed. They had walked upon him stalking his next victim with a rope and ether-soaked cloth in his hands" Tsunade clarified, because it didn't matter in the end. They weren't punished for the mistaking the identity of criminal they had taken out. "I would ignore invading another country's territory, only they had left the body lying out in the open. I would let it slide even then, but it was Land of Lightning and the Raikage has a habit of attacking first and asking questions later – if someone is left alive to answer them. And these days he is even more jumpy than always, because his country took the majority of war damages."
"If you had backed off, less of your ninjas would have refused taking missions you're assigning to them. And those, who'd be on the run wouldn't be so overstretched with their duties" Shikamaru stated in a matter-of-factly tone of voice and obviously making a hint about Naruto situation.
"I took the genin team away from him" said Tsunade.
"The kids he was bragging about as enthusiastically as about nothing else in last months?"
How that snot was able to make her thoughts sounding immensely stupid just by rephrasing them, was beyond Tsunade's comprehension.
"He had never get them for a long go, just subbed for Kakashi, because he was training with them once or twice before. I was planning for a regular sensei replacement, when the Hatakes decided it would be Kakashi on the nappy-duty this time. I gave them to Shiranui Jin."
"So Naruto does nothing but executions with an occasional capturing for the change of pace, if the extraction of valuable data it so be performed first? I said he needs some time off, but that's the opposite. He had enjoyed teaching those kids – said it was better than going out on missions, because it was allowing him to use his techniques without the need to use them on someone."
He told that Tsunade, too. She should have paid more attention to important things – only it wasn't so easy to tell what's important, anymore.
"I can't give him the team back" she said. "He's not… I can't give him the team."
Because if Konoha was ever to rise from the ashes truly, it was these new generations to make the dream into living. The kids that had never seen the war, only heard of it from the distant echoes of battlefields, were ones who would be able to live in peace. They were the king – the only treasure and the last potential Konoha possessed. They had to be taken care of. And a man with soul rotten by death wasn't the right person to teach them how to live.
Of course Naruto would never harm a child – any human being, at all.
Intentionally.
"I've got an idea" Shikamaru said slowly, but Tsunade didn't let her hopes up. "About that report I came with-"
"More death and gruesome things? Weren't you scolding me moments ago for giving him nothing but that to deal with?"
Shikamaru didn't look even slightly abashed, though.
"Isn't it about the time Uchiha's parole is ending?", he asked, though he perfectly well knew Sasuke was grounded for a year on a desk duty and that his probation would be finished in a week.
"Yes", Tsunade answered, her irritation rising with every minute. She had no idea how Shika would solve her Naruto-problem by bringing up her Uchiha-problem. She was procrastinating decision about assigning Sasuke new job, because she couldn't bring herself to send him to the sidelines for another year – it was such an awful waste of resources, given his abilities. But solo missions were out of question for him – at least for another decade – and there was no one in entire village eager to work with Konoha's Prodigal So- Oh!
Tsunade could swear there was a shadow of self-satisfied smirk playing on Shikamaru's lips, but she decided she wouldn't bother herself with wiping it off with the business end of her fist.
"This job would be good opportunity for Uchiha to earn some trust back. And for Naruto it would be first chance in months to chase some actual opponent", stated Shikamaru. Tsunade had to agree.
Let him be a hero.
Kakashi was right. Shinobi needed heroes more than others, but even more so they needed to be heroes. From time to time. Even if in the end they would have to put the golden armor back into the farthest corner of a wardrobe and return to regular duties.
There was nothing wrong with a bit of a good fable in the real life.