Unchuushi POV fic, yaoi warnings (Unchuushi/Taiitsu)
I want to cut you open.
I hold the miraculous knife that cuts through anything. Metal, flesh, sennin-kou, even lies. It cuts the reality out of you and then the blade reflects what you are inside. That's what I do. And then I can put you back together again in whatever form I like. It's wonderful, beautiful, I love reality and bodily fluids and doesn't that feel interesting and the reds and whites are complimentary and I'll draw them all together in a big scene with flowers and fungi and radiation from the sun feeding it all.
I love you and I want to see your heart pumping the dark warm blood through your veins and the lungs pumping in the constant rhythm, up and down and up and down and the oxygen flows and the blood flows and you stand up inflated and full of life and energy runs through your bones to your toys and I'd like to measure your energy as you're playing with them to see the fluctuations and the signs of life going up and down, up and down, in and out with the blood in the heart. And you look at me and your pupils widen and close to let in the light and shut out the brightness and you see things I don't understand and I want to cut your eyes open and look right at your retina and see what's reflected back at me when you look at me. Just to see if I recognize it.
And there's the sex drive and the production of semen and the shuddering release of energy and haploids and I can make your muscles jerk if I touch you inside and I can feel your heartbeat and the heat of your blood and the warmth of your life and it's lovely, as beautiful as the eyes and the heart and the lungs and the bones that have slightly less marrow and did you know that when you eat and the food travels down the esophagus and into the stomach and the cilia on the walls of the small intestine draw out the nutrients that the energy you produce goes into your blood and flows through your cells but it isn't the same as the energy that flows in your bones and lets you play with your toys and build clockwork machines and you don't know how you can use them but you know how they work and I don't know how they work but I know why you can use them and I could help you use more or connect you to them or create miracles like you create miracles, but your miracles grind and spark and draw energy and are hard and my miracles are soft and heated and create energy.
I wish I could show you but nobody else ever seems to notice and it's fine, really, I can smile to myself and see it all and that's enough because it exists, and I don't see the beauty in your cold draining toys but you love them so that's enough too, we'll support our own beauties in their own ways and let everyone else draw their own conclusions. Sometimes I can't stop smiling because of what I can see and what I know and what there is to make, things pulsing and warm and living and maybe mothers feel a little like this, the pushing and then there's life, squirming and covered in fluids and crying and you hug it and say "Welcome!" Maybe I'm moody and frustrated when others don't see it and it's right there just waiting to be discovered, but they can still draw their own conclusions, living in their own little worlds, while I'm in this world where everything is beautiful and creative and life is pulsing all the time and I don't care about the difference between a human and a youkai and a cow and I just want to know why they're different and otherwise it's the same, really, thought doesn't make you special and I'm no better than a blade of grass but I'm not offended by it, I like the grass, its tiny spreading growth underground and its absorbing the light and the energy and converting it all. Maybe one day I'll turn myself into a plant just to see. Just to see. I've been a mammal for centuries, so is it time for a change?
But I don't know if you'd like that. You don't see the blades of grass so much, and sometimes I'm frustrated with you too. I can tell you "I love you" and I'm not sure if you hear the sound of my heart or see the size of my pupils as I get a little more nervous because of the chance of rejection and if you say "yes" I'll be happy because I think you understood just a little and that's more than anyone before and I'd rather have you and your life than anyone else's. So I'll stay here if you want me to and keep on like this because I don't know what you'd think if I changed. But should I change by accident, maybe you'll learn to see it then. Maybe if I showed you another way. Maybe if we change together, into something else, I could make you whatever you like and you could make me a robot and we'd both suit each other so well then, and maybe after all the oil and pistons and electricity flowing are like the pumping and blood and energy in you. Maybe.
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Okay, Mearl finally got up the guts to post a serious Unchuushi/Taiitsu fic. Of course it's kinda dark and weird, but hey, this is Spooky we're talking about...
Before you flame me to heck for grammar, this was stream-of-conciousness. @_@; Run-on sentences on purpose! *bows*
Somehow, since this is an unpopular couple, I don't expect too many reviews... but I would love reviews! Yes I would! I would dance and sing and praise the name of the reviewers!
I'll post new of the Fukki/Buki fic eventually, but right now I'm working on doing a total rewrite for it. @_@;
-- Mearl Dox (exploring unpopular couplings! Whoo-hoo!)
http://www.bunnyhat.com/