Warnings: Royed in the future, this will contain yaoi ;)
Disclaimer: I do not own fullmetal alchemist.. Sadly
Love wasn't something Edward thought about, he actually resented the idea of falling in love. He didn't want anyone romantically, from what he experienced love was nothing but pain. He just couldn't find a reason to love another.
He loved his brother Al and his mother, he had given all that his heart could offer to them. He wanted nothing but to make them smile, once he saw how his mother loved their alchemy it was more than enough encouragement for them to continue. Everything was perfect with just the three of them, but in time he saw that the saying was true. "All good things must come to an end".
Their mother died and they were left alone, all they had was each other and ed thought that wasn't fair. How could their mother die and leave them alone? Two boys who could barely reach the counter top were suppoesd to fend for themselves? He couldn't help but resent their father even more, the basterd couldn't even show up to his wife's funeral.
With his fist clenched so tight his knuckles turned white he bit his lower lip trying to hold in a sob threantning to slip out, he couldn't and wouldn't cry in front of Al he had to be strong for both of them now. Letting go of a shaky sigh he turned his head from his mother head stone and looked at Alphonse slightly. He was crying."'Nii-san I'm cold.. Nii-san I'm hungry.. We should go home.." He whispered softly and then uttered 'maybe father will come ho-' before he could finish his sentence Edward interrupted him. "Don't even talk about him! That basterd didn't even show up!" He shouted. He looked down at Al and couldn't help but wince, his bottom lip was trembling as more tears spilled from his big eyes.
Before he could apologize winry approached them trying to comfort them, it didn't help him much but saw it helped al and for that he was greatful but he wouldn't show it. As soon as winry ran off he told al something that would change their life's forever.
It was all his fault. A fucking rebound! How could he have let this happen?
He screamed in utter agony at the lost of his leg, al was gone and he didnt know anymore. "Mom! Mom please!" He looked over to where their mother shouldve been. "No.. No.." He whispered harshly letting the tears fall freely, all he could do was scream; how could he let this happen?
Through blurry vision he noted he was losing to much blood, but the pain of losing his leg was nothing compared to witnessing his brother vanishing and the failed attempt of resurrecting their mother. He saw truth and this was the price he paid, he'd be damned if he let it end just like that.
Ignoring the pain he felt he dragged himself as fast as he could to a set of armor that belonged to his father. Knocking it over he dragged himself closer "no damnit.. No! You wont take him too!" with his bloody fingertips he drew a blood rune inside the armor as quickly as he possibly could. "Give him back he's my brother! Take my leg, take my arm, take my heart! Take anything you can have it all!" He yelled tiredly "Just give him back! He's my little brother and he's all I have left!" He screamed and clapped his hands together and was consumed with the crackel of alchemy.
The Gate cracked him wide open and looked deep inside and asked 'What is your brother worth' and Ed said 'everything' and it took an arm.
They weren't willing to give up themselves for their mother. That wasn't the point, that wasn't what they were trying to achieve, but that's what the Gate took. Ed would have given everything up for Al, would have leveled mountains and villages. He would start and end a war for his brother, and the Gate took his arm.
It is this moment that he understands equivalent exchange is not always scientific, that it can be subjective. Six of this does not always equal half a dozen of that. He doesn't dare tell Al
that the very foundation of their lives is a lie.
He knows the truth now, it was set up to fail since the beginning. Nothing in the world would ever Come close to equaling someone's life. If it wasn't for his ignorance Alphonse would've had a body.
He knows teacher had to have known. She looked into the Gate, when she discovered numbers mean nothing to the dead it was to late the Gate already took something she could never recover from.
He wishes that she'd told them. He thinks that she tried but it was to late now.
He couldn't find a reason as to why he was still here.
And it just wasn't fucking fair.
So how was it?
I'm not so good yet I think, but there's always room for improving!
Please review what you think, criticism is welcomed just don't be to harsh!