Disclaimer: Naruto and all mentioned characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto. The song Still Into You belong to the American band Paramore. I own nothing.
Enjoy.
Kiana Black.
Still Into You
When our fingers interlock, can't deny you're worth it…
Three years, four months and eighteen days.
That's how long Sasuke and I have been together. And no, for your information, I do not keep track of it. I just happen to be good with numbers, so I decided to calculate it.
So. Three years, four months and eighteen days later and we're still together. He's still a prat. I'm still bossy. Nothing's changed. We fight. We make up. We fight again. Really, I always ask myself, why am I still with him?
"Sakura?"
He calls from the bottom of the stairs. I've locked myself in our room. I wonder what I'm mad about. I can't quite remember. It happened an hour ago. He said something, I said something, I got mad, he got mad, and I stormed out of the room. Why must our fights be so childish, even though we're now 20 years old?
I hear him climbing the stairs, slowly, and he stops outside our bedroom door. One knock. I'm quiet, so he knocks again. He sighs. So do I.
I get up and head to the door to unlock it as he speaks, "Sakura. I'm sorry."
"Me too," I murmur, opening the door a crack and peeking at him. I smile shyly. "I don't even remember why I was mad."
That makes him smirk. "You never do," he says quietly, stepping into the room, into my space, and wrapping an arm around me. "Shall we begin the make up process now?"
I giggle, winding my arms around his neck as he carries me to the bed.
And baby, even on our worst nights, I'm into you…
We got together when we were seventeen, in our second last year of high school. I'd been crushing on him since seventh grade, but it had taken him four long, stubborn years to like me back. Of course, it helped that I grew up and stopped fawning over him with my best friend Ino. As soon as I began to distance myself from him, he began to notice me, to notice my absence. And miss me.
Our friends were the first to realize his growing feelings. I, of course, had been oblivious. Once I'd decided to stay away from him, to let him go, I stuck with it, despite how much it hurt. I forced myself to hang out with other boys, not noticing how much it angered him.
I began dating my friend Kiba in the fall of my seventeenth year. Kiba was nice enough, had a bit of a temper, but he was always nice to me. And he treated me well. We went on a few dates, and had fun together. But he wasn't Sasuke, and I was always well aware of that. I felt bad, for surely Kiba knew I was constantly comparing him to Sasuke. He never said anything though.
I didn't see much of Sasuke during this time; I didn't feel his looks, his glares. Our friends did though, and they found it a new source of amusement, always teasing him for it.
I broke things off with Kiba just before the New Year, on good terms. We both decided there was nothing left between us. Our relationship had grown sort of dull. So we parted, as friends.
Sasuke was the type to hide his emotions. It wasn't his style to 'confess his feelings'. Naruto told me later that he'd tried everything to get Sasuke to tell me. He'd given him plenty of chances to be alone with me, had planned many parties where he figured the atmosphere would be just right for us. I remained clueless, but couldn't stop myself from being pulled back to Sasuke's side.
I chastised myself for it, told myself to keep my distance. I was just going to get hurt. He didn't love me. But I was wrong. At that point, Sasuke himself was the one pulling me to him, and I didn't even realize it.
One evening after one of Naruto's popular and always-boisterous parties, Sasuke and I stayed behind to help the blond clean things up. Naruto 'decided' to leave things to us and passed out on the couch.
I sighed, glaring at the blond even as I threw a blanket I found on the floor over him. He'd been a good friend the last few years. He finally got over his crush on me and fell in love with Hinata Hyuga, who'd been in love with him for as long as I could remember. They were really sweet together.
Sasuke watched me, an unreadable expression on his face. He set the handful of beer cans on the coffee table. "Quite the party, huh," I said, nervously. When was the last time I'd really spoken to him?
He grunted an agreement, turning his back to me to pick up a blue and white vase from the floor. He scoffed. "Kushina would kill him if this broke," he sighed.
I smiled. Kushina was Naruto's mother. Sasuke and Naruto had grown up together, so Sakura supposed the fiery woman was like a second mother to Sasuke. I bent to pick up another can, and noticed a pile of broken shards on the other side of the couch. Someone had broken a glass. I set the can aside and went to pick up the mess.
But of course, I wasn't careful enough and a shard slid across my index finger, slicing the skin. "Ouch," I murmured, rolling my eyes at myself as I accidentally dropped the rest of the glass I'd picked up.
Sasuke was suddenly kneeling beside me, and he took my injured finger into his hand. "Are you okay?" he asked, his voice low.
My face flushed, as I tried to pull my hand from his. "I'm fine," I said quickly.
He lifted his dark eyes to my jade, searching my face. My skin burned where he touched it. "You shouldn't pick up glass with your bare hands," he said softly. I didn't hear him though, for his gaze had fallen on my lips and I suddenly couldn't breathe.
Naruto's snore filled the room, and I gasped, snapping out of my daze and rising. "I-I'll go clean it," I said, hurrying from the room.
I ran my hand under the tap in the kitchen, letting the cold water wash away the blood. I heard him walk up behind me, but it still startled me when he wrapped his arms around me to hold my hand under the water. I gasped, jerking away from him, but he put his face beside mine and I could almost feel his smirk.
"Why did you start avoiding me, Sakura?" he said in my ear. I shifted, but ended up pressing back against his body, which made me jerk forward.
Breathe, Sakura. "Um," I said, eloquently. Wincing, I concentrated on his finger running over mine under the water. "My friends advised me that that would be best."
"Why?" he said, his breath hitting the back of my neck. He was definitely enjoying this.
"So I wouldn't get hurt," I said, not thinking about my words.
"Why would you get hurt by being around me?" he asked, sounding genuinely confused, as if hurting me would be the last thing he'd ever dream of.
"Because I love you," I whispered and then gasped as I realized what I'd said. "I-I-mean.. that's not… I didn't…"
He was silent, which made the pumping of my heart sound even louder. "Oh my God, I didn't mean to say that," I said, my face and skin hot.
He took my hand out from the water and then moved to a cabinet in the corner, where he dug till he pulled out a box of band-aids. Of course he would know his way around Naruto's kitchen, I thought.
He still hadn't said anything and it was starting to drive me crazy. I'd just confessed to him and silence was his answer! He was killing me here. This was why they'd told me to stay away from him. My eyes stung with tears of shame. I clenched my dry hand into a fist as he took my other hand and dabbed it dry with a towel. He then unwrapped the band-aid and carefully placed it around my finger.
As soon as he was finished, I yanked my hand out of his grasp and held it close to me. "Thanks," I said quietly.
He finally spoke, "Was it true?"
"What?" I asked, confused.
His dark eyes looked away from me momentarily, and then they were back on my face, searching me. "What you said, your feelings. Do you mean it?"
I was offended. "Of course I meant it! I wouldn't have said it otherwise!" And then I yelped, turning away from him so he wouldn't see my reddening cheeks.
But he chucked. I heard him walk toward me, but I wouldn't turn around. He did it for me, his hands on my hips as he swivelled my body to face him. He was smiling. It surprised me, for usually he smirked. "You've been driving me crazy, Haruno," he mumbled.
"W-what?" I gasped.
"You've always been there, annoying me, proclaiming your love, asking me out on dates," he shook his head, even as I flushed in embarrassment. "It used to annoy me so much. But then…" his voice softened. "You were gone. You just stopped. I rarely saw you anymore, and then when I did see you, you were with Shika, Kiba and Sai." He said Sai's name with as much loathing as he would say 'snake'. I didn't need to wonder why. Sasuke and Sai had never gotten along. Sai drove me nuts too, but I could tolerate him.
I didn't even know what to say. I didn't have to say anything, for he continued.
"It started to bug me, " he said, scowling briefly. "I'd find myself looking for you whenever I went into a room. Or you'd be the first one I'd notice. How did you do it?"
"Do what?" I asked, seriously confused.
His hand raised to my face, as his expression softened, his dark eyes boring into mine. He grunted a bit, shaking his head. "Moron," he murmured. "Make me fall for you."
My heart stopped. My breathing stopped. I couldn't think. I couldn't do anything much less speak. I stared up at him, speechless, breathless. My mouth opened, but nothing came out.
His smirk returned. "Do I have permission to kiss you, now that I've rendered you speechless?"
I couldn't speak, but somehow I managed a shaky nod, and that was all the answer he needed. His head lowered, and his lips met mine and I think I might have died a little.
Our first kiss started soft, and brief. He pulled away, his eyes opened and he looked at me. I lifted shaking hands to the back of his neck and rose to my tiptoes, to bring my lips to his for more. He smiled, his arm winding around my waist to pull me against him. He lowered his head, so I could go flat foot, and if his arm weren't around me, I think I'd have fallen to my knees.
"You mean it?" I whispered, unable to believe it was true.
He scoffed, "I wouldn't have said it otherwise." I giggled at his echo of my words. He sighed. "Sakura," he said quietly, holding me in his arms. "I've been into you for a while now."
Tears sprang to my eyes, and I couldn't stop them. I laughed a little. "I love you," I said, breathless. "I have for a long time."
He grunted his usual, "Hn." But I could see the smile he was trying to hold back. To hide it, he bent his head back to mine for another kiss.
Let em wonder how we got this far…
He's hovering over me, his lips pressed against mine with an urgency I haven't felt from him in a while. "I love you," he whispers, his hand running down my naked body.
"What's with you, all of a sudden?" I ask confused at his display of emotion.
He lifts his head from my shoulder to glare down at me. "What do you mean, 'all of a sudden'? Sakura, you almost died!"
I feel my face soften, as I remember the accident. "It was just a fall, Sasuke. I just missed the step."
He shakes his head, dropping it back to my shoulder where he presses an open-mouthed kiss against the curve of my neck. The fall wasn't actually 'just a fall'. I'd landed myself in the hospital, comatose, for what felt like only a day but had actually been a week. I woke up a few days ago and was released today.
"It's all right," I murmur, caressing his shaking shoulders. I'm surprised to see him with so much raw emotion. But then, I realize, he'd probably been holding it back all week. While my friends came to visit, to express their sympathies, he'd probably been expressionless and mostly wordless besides his typical 'hn's'.
There's one thing we're both not saying though, as his kisses grow more passionate and I gasp at the pleasure he's giving me.
We're refusing to speak of it, to acknowledge it, even though I know it isn't right. But I can't bring myself to say anything, for as soon as I think of it, tears spring to my eyes.
We lost the baby. I wasn't far along, and the impact from my fall had killed it. It was heartbreaking, knowing my careless misstep had killed the life inside of me. I wonder if Sasuke blames me.
I remember how happy he'd been when I told him I was pregnant. I can close my eyes and still recall the unguarded, utterly ecstatic look on his face. He'd crossed the distance between us in two steps and swept me into his arms, swinging me in a circle and kissing my face repeatedly. He'd laughed. I'd cried, relieved to see him happy with the news.
A tear slips down my face now too, as Sasuke pulls out of me and collapses beside me. He notices the tear immediately and reaches over to wipe it away. But more replace it. "Hey," he whispers. I cover my eyes with my hands.
"I'm sorry," I say. "I'm sorry." I keep saying it, unable to stop, unable to reign in my emotions. I can't help it. I begin to sob. The thought of our child, gone forever before they could even live. The thought of it being my fault. If only I'd been more careful. The thought of Sasuke hating me breaks me, hurts more than anything else in the world.
Sasuke pulls me to him, wrapping me in his arms tightly. He's murmuring my name over and over again, and I feel his body shaking against mine. He's crying too. He can't help it either, I know. We just lost something a part of both of us.
My sobs stop and turn into ugly sniffles and I'm finally able to hear what he's saying. "It wasn't your fault," he says brokenly. "It wasn't your fault, Sakura. Sakura, please, please, it wasn't your fault."
I feel guilty. He loves me so much. I shouldn't have doubted him. Of course he doesn't blame me. He loves me. If our roles had of been reversed, I would never blame him either. It was an accident. A terrible, horrible accident that cost us the life of our first child. But we still have each other.
"I love you," I whisper, clutching him like my life depends on him. And maybe it does. He returns my embrace and murmurs it back.
We'll get through this.
I should be over all the butterflies…
It's exactly a year and a half after that that Sasuke finally pops the question. And it's not particularly the most romantic proposal either. In fact, it's the most un-romantic proposal I'd ever heard of. He literally threw the ring at me.
It didn't help that we were arguing at the time.
I'm mad. Mad for a hundred different reasons. But the main reason? We've been together four and half years and in love even longer than that, and yet I still have no ring on my finger! I want to get married. I want a beautiful wedding in the summer surrounded by our friends. I want to be Mrs. Sakura Uchiha.
We've already been through so much. We almost had a baby. I cringed to think of it, but I would have thought he'd have proposed back then. I learned later that he was going to, but then we lost the baby and he couldn't find the right time to give me the ring.
Today though, I'd learned of Ino's engagement. Ino's! Of all people, she was going to get married before me. Don't get me wrong, I was unbelievably happy for my best friend. Chouji would treat her like the princess she claimed to be. But Ino was also my rival. And she was getting married before me!
Hinata and Naruto had gotten married last year. Neji and TenTen had been married for two years already. Shikamaru was planning on proposing to Temari, he'd told Naruto, who told me. Naruto tells me everything.
All my friends were getting married, or already married. It wasn't fair. What about me? Sasuke and I have been together the longest!
The problem is, I can't bring it up to him. Every time I want to, I back out, for fear of being too bold. How dare I demand he propose to me? It was his decision whether he wanted to give me his last name. Surely, surely, he did. We've been together so long. We've been living together for a while now. We love each other, right?
I want to be his wife. I want him to be my husband. More than anything. Is it wrong of me to ask? I shake my head as I sit at the kitchen table. I'd told my troubles to Hinata earlier today. I couldn't tell Ino. Ino would laugh. She wouldn't get it.
"You know what Sasuke-kun's like, Sakura-chan," Hinata had said softly. The ring on her left finger glittered at me mockingly and I had to stop myself from glaring. "He's not the type to plan a romantic proposal. I'm sure he wants to. I'm sure he wants to get married as much as you do. But maybe you need to take the lead in this."
I know she's right. Sasuke isn't the type to plan a nice dinner and surprise me by getting on one knee. But was it too much to hope for, really?
I mean, even Naruto could manage it! Hinata told me Naruto had taken her on a road trip to the beach first. They'd travelled in the car all day, and then stayed at a hotel. He'd popped the question over dinner, stuttering worse than Hinata used to back in high school. But he'd managed to get it out, and of course she'd said yes.
I wasn't even asking for that much. He could propose to me at home, over a dinner of fish and chips for all I cared. I just wanted it to be official. People would probably ask me, why does it matter? We live together already. We act like we're married already. What's the importance of having it official? But I needed it to be. I've dreamed of it since I was little. I know it may not matter to him, or to others, but it matters to me.
I'd thought on it all day and when Sasuke finally comes home from work, tired and hungry, I'm silent. We eat dinner silently, as I mope over my latest troubles and he wishes for bed.
How do I bring it up? How do I say, 'Sasuke, will you propose to me already?' I can't bring myself to do it. What if I set it up for him? Suggest we go out to dinner sometime, or go on a romantic getaway. No, he won't go for the latter. He hates taking time off work. So do I, for that matter.
After supper, we sit together in the living room. He watches the news while I pretend to read. I'm gonna do it, I decide. "Sasuke," I begin and he brings his gaze to mine, letting his eyes sweep over my body before meeting my own. I flush, hating and loving it when he does that.
He grunts to show I have his attention.
"Could we go out to dinner tomorrow?" I ask softly.
He blinks, but shakes his head a bit. "I have to stay late tomorrow," he says, sounding remorseful. I feel a stab of irritation at his job.
I slink into my chair, depressed, and he notices. "What is it?" he asks, his tone tired.
"Nothing," I mumble. But, of course, he knows I'm lying.
He scoffs a little as he gets out of his chair and crosses the room to me. He kneels in front of my seat, and places his arms around me loosely. I can't help it, my resolve weakens. "You work so much," I murmur.
He grunts, knowing that's not the problem. I work a lot too. He's silent, and waits for me to go on.
"Chouji and Ino are getting married," I say quietly, thinking maybe he'll catch the hint. He doesn't.
His eyebrows lift, as if to say 'so?'
I sigh, feeling my temper rise. "Why are you so dense?" I snap, pushing him away and rising. I storm to the other side of the room, spin and fold my arms across my chest to glare at him.
He gets up out of his crouch, and glares back. "What's your problem?"
I still have my book in my hand. I clench my hand around it. "You are!"
"Okay," he says slowly, obviously confused. I can see him trying to work out what might be wrong. He's probably running the last few minutes of what we just said through his mind, to see if he'd said something wrong. He gives up. "Why?"
"How long have we been together?" I ask quietly, begging whatever God I believe in that he knows the answer.
He shrugs, "Four years?"
I breathe a sigh a relief, "Four and a half, yes, Sasuke. And we've been in love longer. And we've been living together for a while."
Sasuke clearly has no idea where I'm going with this. I lose it. Without thinking, I chuck the book in my hand at him. He dodges it and blinks at me in surprise.
"God damn it, Sasuke, when are you going to ask me to marry you?"
His mouth drops open, he blinks. I've definitely stumped him. He didn't expect me to say that. "W-What?"
I've never really heard Sasuke stutter before, but now, he seems to have no idea what to say. "You heard me!" I snap. "I'm tired of waiting, Sasuke! I want to get married! I know it probably seems stupid, I know you probably think it doesn't matter, but it does! It matters to me! I love you and I want to get married." I try not to sound childish but I have a feeling I do.
"Why would you think it doesn't matter to me?" he asks, his voice oddly quiet.
"Well," I hesitate, unsure. "Because you haven't asked me yet, and, um, you don't seem to care much!"
"Excuse me?" he snaps, stepping toward me. "I don't care? You're right, Sakura. I don't care. We're basically already married, who cares if you don't wear my ring or carry my last name? What does it matter? Obviously, I don't care."
He's angry and I don't know why.
"If you'd been just a little patient," he growls, digging in his back pocket, "Maybe you'd have gotten to hear me ask!"
He throws something at me, and then storms from the room. I catch what he threw, my mouth open in surprise. It's a little black box. And I open it, my heart in my throat and tears in my eyes. Inside is a small, simple gold ring with a brilliant diamond in the shape of a heart sitting in between two smaller diamonds. It's simple, but I love it. And I love him.
"I'm so stupid," I whisper as I turn on my heels to find him. I don't have to go far. He's still standing in the hallway, his back to me. He's calmed down a bit, and I'm glad. "Sasuke," I say.
He turns, almost shyly. "Sorry," he mumbles. "I don't know why I got mad. I guess…" he trails off, shrugs. "I guess 'cause I didn't get to ask you."
"Oh Sasuke!" I cry, throwing myself at him. I lock my arms around his neck and he lifts me up, holding me tight. "I'm sorry. I should have waited. It's just, everyone's been getting married and… I just… I'm sorry."
"Don't be," he murmurs. "I shouldn't have waited so long. I've had the ring on me, everyday, ever since… since before your fall. It just never felt like the right time."
"I love you," I whisper into his ear, my lips brushing his earlobe. "I love you so much!" I squeeze my eyes shut, tears trailing down my cheeks.
He chuckles. "So that's a yes, then, right?"
"Yes!"
After all this time, I'm still into you….
Two years after the gorgeous wedding I've always dreamed of, I was pregnant again. I was a little scared to tell him at first, after what happened last time. I almost didn't want to get his – get our hopes up.
But I had to tell him. He's sitting at his desk in the study when I manage to work up the courage.
"Sasuke," I say.
He turns to me, startled, for he didn't hear me come in. "Yes?" he says, sounding slightly distracted.
I decide to just blurt it out. "I'm pregnant."
He freezes, staring at me, his face carefully void of expression. "You're sure?" he asks, quietly.
I nod. I did the test four times. Positive every time. Then I went to the doctor.
Sasuke sits there, dumbfounded. I begin to worry, thinking that after what happened last time, he doesn't want another pregnancy. But he notices the worry on my face and jumps to his feet, rushing to me. "Hey," he murmurs, taking me into his arms. "Hey. This is great."
"You… you don't sound happy," I confide, remembering his reaction last time.
"I am. I really am," he says, honestly. "I'm just worried. You won't take the full nine months off, will you?"
"What? Of course I can't!"
He chuckles. "I know, love. I just don't want you overworking yourself. Does Tsunade know?"
I nod. Tsunade-sama was head of the hospital, my boss and my mentor. I'd told her first.
"Good, she'll look after you," he says, kissing my hair. "I won't let anything happen to you." I can feel him starting to smile and his hand slides down to touch my stomach, where our child is growing. "We'll have a family," he whispers and I'm relieved at the absolute joy in his voice.
Some things just make sense…
As it turned out, I had more than one bundle of joy growing inside of me. We ended up with twins, a boy and a girl, who were a handful of more work than we expected but we couldn't be happier.
And one of those is you and I