Disclaimer: I do not own the Frog Prince. If I did, I probably wouldn't be
doing this, butchering it horribly. Enough said.
A/N - This was written quite late at night, while I was somewhat out of it.
Hence, it's very stupid, and very short. Basically, this is the Prince's
verison of events. If you notice any spelling/usage mistakes, please let me
know.
My name is Harold. I am a frog prince. Yes, that's right, a frog prince. Don't look at me like that. I'm telling the truth! After all, how many frogs do you know that can talk? Not many, I'd wager. I'm one of a rare breed. Ahem. Anyway, if I may continue with my tale . . .
I was not always a frog. Indeed, a week ago I was human, living in a castle, eating meals fit for a king, which I will be someday. Just as soon as my father croaks. Oh dear. Bad pun. It seems that being a frog is getting to me. No - I must not get off track! It is difficult being a frog - one finds that one's attention span is relatively short. I must concentrate!
I used to be a human. I lived in a castle, ate three square (Square? The plates were round!) meals a day, and wore clothes that would have been the envy of any other man of the kingdom. Now I am a frog, I live in a pond, eat different bugs for dinner, and hop around unclothed, for what frog has a need for clothing? Of course, all of this was before I met the witch.
I didn't mean to meet her. I was just taking a nice ride through the forest when I randomly happened to bump into her. All right, so I didn't bump into her so much as run her over . . . but I can't be held responsible for that! It was my horse's fault, I swear!
Anyway, she cursed me. Cast some spell over me, told me that I'd be a frog until some maiden kissed me, then carried me to this pond and threw me in. Finding the princess was easy. She found me. It was the rest that was difficult.
I was sitting in my pond, minding my own business and waiting for something to happen when she appeared. Princess Annette. Before I had a chance to even say as much as "Hello", she saw me sitting on my lily pad, smirked evilly, reached into her pocket, and tossed a golden ball at me. I only had a split second to dodge out of the way. As it was, my favorite lily pad seat was ruined!
"Hey!" I yelled at her. "Watch where you're throwing that thing!"
Her eyes widened to the size of saucers as a shrewd, calculating look entered her face. "Oh, I am so sorry my dear frog. I did not mean to throw my ball at you. Indeed, I was not watching what I did, and now my beautiful golden ball is at the bottom of yonder pond, where I dare not fetch it, for fear of ruining my gown. Please, Master Frog - will you bring it back to me?"
I have always been a fool for sweet voices, and let me tell you, hers was sweet. What with her silver tones, and her fluttering eyelashes, I was completely enthralled. I only just remembered the curse. "Certainly, lady. I will fetch your ball - if you will do only one thing for me." I managed to say.
"Whatever you wish, Master Frog - if only you will bring me back my ball!"
I nodded, and dove down to retrieve her golden play thing. It did not take me long, and soon I was back at the surface, her ball in my mouth. (Hey - I'm only a frog! I don't have opposable thumbs!) Carefully I spat it out onto the grass at her feet.
Wrinkling her nose, she picked it up and wiped it off on the front of her gown. "Thanks," she said brusquely, and turned to walk away.
"Wait Princess! Wait! You have to take me home with you - let me eat off your plate and sleep off your pillow!" I cried, hopping to keep up with her long strides. "You have to kiss me!"
Apparently, she did not hear me, for she began to break into a run. Frustrated, I only just made it through the gates and over the drawbridge, but was cut off at the front door, where I had to wait for three hours in the rain before my voice was heard, and I was let in by the king himself.
"Annette! Daughter! You promised this frog that you would let him eat off your plate and sleep on your pillow - now is time to make good on your promise!" The king proclaimed, after throwing open the door and having one of his servants carry me inside, where the royal family was eating their evening meal.
The footman carrying me gently placed me beside the princess's plate, where a large amount of food was heaped.
Whoever said that princesses have delicate appetites must not have seen Annette. She packed away enough food for a person twice her size, leaving only a few crumbs for me. I didn't mind - I ate them readily, carefully picking them up with tongue, and trying not to look up at the disgusted expression that was written across the princess's face as she watched me eat.
I finished eating relatively quickly, considering that I had to use my tongue to pick everything up, and soon found myself being carried to the princess's room.
"Perfect," I thought. "I'll sleep on her pillow, in the morning she'll kiss me, and I'll be a prince again!"
However, things did not go according to plan. As soon as I arrived in the princess's bed chamber, she tackled me, thrust me into a pillow case, and began swinging me around, only to let me go flying seconds later. As if that was not enough, she threw me against the wall, and tried to step on me.
It was then that I decided what I must do. Avoiding her low calls for me to come hither, I drew myself up to my full height, and said in as dignified a voice as I could, "Princess, you have failed."
That certainly caught her attention. "What?" She asked, looking puzzled.
"I said, you have failed. I am not a frog - rather, I am a prince under a witch's spell. I came here in hopes of your kissing me, and me taking you as my wife, but to no avail. You have abused me, mistreated me, tried to kill me - to be quite honest, I can't take it any more!"
With that last parting word, I hopped out the window, and back to my pond. I've given up looking for a princess - really, if any old maiden will break the spell, I'd much rather find someone who is not of royal blood but treats me well.
For, after all, if they abuse you as a frog, how will they treat you as a husband?
A/N - Please review and tell me what you think. I am thinking of doing another flayed fairy tale, and any and all comments on this one would be helpful.
My name is Harold. I am a frog prince. Yes, that's right, a frog prince. Don't look at me like that. I'm telling the truth! After all, how many frogs do you know that can talk? Not many, I'd wager. I'm one of a rare breed. Ahem. Anyway, if I may continue with my tale . . .
I was not always a frog. Indeed, a week ago I was human, living in a castle, eating meals fit for a king, which I will be someday. Just as soon as my father croaks. Oh dear. Bad pun. It seems that being a frog is getting to me. No - I must not get off track! It is difficult being a frog - one finds that one's attention span is relatively short. I must concentrate!
I used to be a human. I lived in a castle, ate three square (Square? The plates were round!) meals a day, and wore clothes that would have been the envy of any other man of the kingdom. Now I am a frog, I live in a pond, eat different bugs for dinner, and hop around unclothed, for what frog has a need for clothing? Of course, all of this was before I met the witch.
I didn't mean to meet her. I was just taking a nice ride through the forest when I randomly happened to bump into her. All right, so I didn't bump into her so much as run her over . . . but I can't be held responsible for that! It was my horse's fault, I swear!
Anyway, she cursed me. Cast some spell over me, told me that I'd be a frog until some maiden kissed me, then carried me to this pond and threw me in. Finding the princess was easy. She found me. It was the rest that was difficult.
I was sitting in my pond, minding my own business and waiting for something to happen when she appeared. Princess Annette. Before I had a chance to even say as much as "Hello", she saw me sitting on my lily pad, smirked evilly, reached into her pocket, and tossed a golden ball at me. I only had a split second to dodge out of the way. As it was, my favorite lily pad seat was ruined!
"Hey!" I yelled at her. "Watch where you're throwing that thing!"
Her eyes widened to the size of saucers as a shrewd, calculating look entered her face. "Oh, I am so sorry my dear frog. I did not mean to throw my ball at you. Indeed, I was not watching what I did, and now my beautiful golden ball is at the bottom of yonder pond, where I dare not fetch it, for fear of ruining my gown. Please, Master Frog - will you bring it back to me?"
I have always been a fool for sweet voices, and let me tell you, hers was sweet. What with her silver tones, and her fluttering eyelashes, I was completely enthralled. I only just remembered the curse. "Certainly, lady. I will fetch your ball - if you will do only one thing for me." I managed to say.
"Whatever you wish, Master Frog - if only you will bring me back my ball!"
I nodded, and dove down to retrieve her golden play thing. It did not take me long, and soon I was back at the surface, her ball in my mouth. (Hey - I'm only a frog! I don't have opposable thumbs!) Carefully I spat it out onto the grass at her feet.
Wrinkling her nose, she picked it up and wiped it off on the front of her gown. "Thanks," she said brusquely, and turned to walk away.
"Wait Princess! Wait! You have to take me home with you - let me eat off your plate and sleep off your pillow!" I cried, hopping to keep up with her long strides. "You have to kiss me!"
Apparently, she did not hear me, for she began to break into a run. Frustrated, I only just made it through the gates and over the drawbridge, but was cut off at the front door, where I had to wait for three hours in the rain before my voice was heard, and I was let in by the king himself.
"Annette! Daughter! You promised this frog that you would let him eat off your plate and sleep on your pillow - now is time to make good on your promise!" The king proclaimed, after throwing open the door and having one of his servants carry me inside, where the royal family was eating their evening meal.
The footman carrying me gently placed me beside the princess's plate, where a large amount of food was heaped.
Whoever said that princesses have delicate appetites must not have seen Annette. She packed away enough food for a person twice her size, leaving only a few crumbs for me. I didn't mind - I ate them readily, carefully picking them up with tongue, and trying not to look up at the disgusted expression that was written across the princess's face as she watched me eat.
I finished eating relatively quickly, considering that I had to use my tongue to pick everything up, and soon found myself being carried to the princess's room.
"Perfect," I thought. "I'll sleep on her pillow, in the morning she'll kiss me, and I'll be a prince again!"
However, things did not go according to plan. As soon as I arrived in the princess's bed chamber, she tackled me, thrust me into a pillow case, and began swinging me around, only to let me go flying seconds later. As if that was not enough, she threw me against the wall, and tried to step on me.
It was then that I decided what I must do. Avoiding her low calls for me to come hither, I drew myself up to my full height, and said in as dignified a voice as I could, "Princess, you have failed."
That certainly caught her attention. "What?" She asked, looking puzzled.
"I said, you have failed. I am not a frog - rather, I am a prince under a witch's spell. I came here in hopes of your kissing me, and me taking you as my wife, but to no avail. You have abused me, mistreated me, tried to kill me - to be quite honest, I can't take it any more!"
With that last parting word, I hopped out the window, and back to my pond. I've given up looking for a princess - really, if any old maiden will break the spell, I'd much rather find someone who is not of royal blood but treats me well.
For, after all, if they abuse you as a frog, how will they treat you as a husband?
A/N - Please review and tell me what you think. I am thinking of doing another flayed fairy tale, and any and all comments on this one would be helpful.