The Hell of Finals Week:
A parody of "The Bells of Notre Dame," from Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Gossip:
Morning in high school, the students awake
To the hell of finals week
The janitors clean up, the lunch ladies bake
To the hell of finals week
To the big tests as long as a textbook
To the little tests short as a geek
And some say the soul of the high school's
The toll of the hell
The hell of finals week
(Ah ah ah ah ah aaah)
Listen, they are beautiful, no? So many multiple choices, so many changing rules, because you know, they don't grade all by themselves.
Mini Me:
They don't?
Gossip:
No, you silly boy. Up there, high, high in the dark Administration Building, lives the mysterious test grader. Who is this creature?
Mini Me:
Who?
Gossip:
What is he?
Mini Me:
What?
Gossip:
How did he come to be there?
Mini Me:
How?
Gossip:
Hush!
Mini Me:
Aaaww…
Gossip:
Gossip will tell you. It is a tale, a tale of an essay, and a SPAM!
Bright was the day when our tale was begun
In the hell of finals week
Student 1:
Hush them up, will you?
Student 2:
We'll be spotted!
Student 3:
Hush everyone.
Gossip:
Four frightened students slid silently
Into the school for finals week
Student 1:
Ten dollars for safe passage to the classroom.
Gossip:
But a trap had been laid for the students
And they gazed up in fear and alarm
At a figure whose clutches were iron
As much as the hell
Student 2:
Mr. Frollo!
Gossip:
The hell of finals week
(Ah ah ah ah ah aaah)
Mister Frollo longed to purge the school
Of slacking kids
(Ah ah ah ah ah aaah)
And he saw corruption everywhere
Except in his
Frollo:
Bring these student vermin to the Detention Room
Minion 1:
You there! What are you hiding?!
Frollo:
Stolen grades, no doubt. Take them from her.
Gossip:
She ran!
(Lots of running in the hall. She ends up at the principal's office)
Student 1:
Sanctuary, please give me sanctuary!
(Frollo corners her, snatches the file, and writes F on it, failing her instantly. Then he looks at it more closely.)
Frollo:
An essay? Gasp. A SPAM!
(He looks around frantically and spots a nearby trash can. He goes to it, and is just about to drop the file in when---)
Principal:
Stop!
Gossip:
Cried the Principal.
Frollo:
This is an unholy paper! I'm sending it back to Hell, where it belongs!
Principal:
See here the innocent red ink you've spilt
In the hell of finals week
Frollo:
I am guiltless, the paper was doomed.
Principal:
Now you would add this child's grade to your guilt
In the hell of finals week
Frollo:
My conscience is clear!
Principal:
You can lie to yourself and your minions
You can claim it's not vengeance you seek,
But you never can run from
Nor hide what you've done from the sighs
The very sighs of finals week!
(Ah ah ah ah ah aaah)
Gossip:
And for once in his career
Of grammar such as "runned"
(Ah ah ah ah ah aaah)
Frollo felt a twinge of fear
For his retirement fund
Frollo:
What must I do?
Principal:
Take the essay, and grade it as your own.
Frollo:
What? I'm to be saddled with this miswritten--Very well, but let it be graded here, in your district.
Principal:
Graded here? Where?
Frollo:
Anywhere…
Just so it's kept locked away so no one else can see.
The Administration Building, perhaps. And who knows, our Board works in mysterious ways…
Even this foul paper may yet prove one day to be
(dumm)
Of use to me
Gossip:
And Frollo gave the child a cruel grade, a grade that means half-formed:
Incomplete!
Now here is a riddle to guess if you can
In the hell of finals week
What is outstanding and what is the SPAAAM?
In the hell, hell, hell, hell
Hell, hell, hell, hell
Hell of finals weeeeek!
(Ah ah ah ah ah aaah!)
A parody of "The Bells of Notre Dame," from Disney's The Hunchback of Notre Dame.
Gossip:
Morning in high school, the students awake
To the hell of finals week
The janitors clean up, the lunch ladies bake
To the hell of finals week
To the big tests as long as a textbook
To the little tests short as a geek
And some say the soul of the high school's
The toll of the hell
The hell of finals week
(Ah ah ah ah ah aaah)
Listen, they are beautiful, no? So many multiple choices, so many changing rules, because you know, they don't grade all by themselves.
Mini Me:
They don't?
Gossip:
No, you silly boy. Up there, high, high in the dark Administration Building, lives the mysterious test grader. Who is this creature?
Mini Me:
Who?
Gossip:
What is he?
Mini Me:
What?
Gossip:
How did he come to be there?
Mini Me:
How?
Gossip:
Hush!
Mini Me:
Aaaww…
Gossip:
Gossip will tell you. It is a tale, a tale of an essay, and a SPAM!
Bright was the day when our tale was begun
In the hell of finals week
Student 1:
Hush them up, will you?
Student 2:
We'll be spotted!
Student 3:
Hush everyone.
Gossip:
Four frightened students slid silently
Into the school for finals week
Student 1:
Ten dollars for safe passage to the classroom.
Gossip:
But a trap had been laid for the students
And they gazed up in fear and alarm
At a figure whose clutches were iron
As much as the hell
Student 2:
Mr. Frollo!
Gossip:
The hell of finals week
(Ah ah ah ah ah aaah)
Mister Frollo longed to purge the school
Of slacking kids
(Ah ah ah ah ah aaah)
And he saw corruption everywhere
Except in his
Frollo:
Bring these student vermin to the Detention Room
Minion 1:
You there! What are you hiding?!
Frollo:
Stolen grades, no doubt. Take them from her.
Gossip:
She ran!
(Lots of running in the hall. She ends up at the principal's office)
Student 1:
Sanctuary, please give me sanctuary!
(Frollo corners her, snatches the file, and writes F on it, failing her instantly. Then he looks at it more closely.)
Frollo:
An essay? Gasp. A SPAM!
(He looks around frantically and spots a nearby trash can. He goes to it, and is just about to drop the file in when---)
Principal:
Stop!
Gossip:
Cried the Principal.
Frollo:
This is an unholy paper! I'm sending it back to Hell, where it belongs!
Principal:
See here the innocent red ink you've spilt
In the hell of finals week
Frollo:
I am guiltless, the paper was doomed.
Principal:
Now you would add this child's grade to your guilt
In the hell of finals week
Frollo:
My conscience is clear!
Principal:
You can lie to yourself and your minions
You can claim it's not vengeance you seek,
But you never can run from
Nor hide what you've done from the sighs
The very sighs of finals week!
(Ah ah ah ah ah aaah)
Gossip:
And for once in his career
Of grammar such as "runned"
(Ah ah ah ah ah aaah)
Frollo felt a twinge of fear
For his retirement fund
Frollo:
What must I do?
Principal:
Take the essay, and grade it as your own.
Frollo:
What? I'm to be saddled with this miswritten--Very well, but let it be graded here, in your district.
Principal:
Graded here? Where?
Frollo:
Anywhere…
Just so it's kept locked away so no one else can see.
The Administration Building, perhaps. And who knows, our Board works in mysterious ways…
Even this foul paper may yet prove one day to be
(dumm)
Of use to me
Gossip:
And Frollo gave the child a cruel grade, a grade that means half-formed:
Incomplete!
Now here is a riddle to guess if you can
In the hell of finals week
What is outstanding and what is the SPAAAM?
In the hell, hell, hell, hell
Hell, hell, hell, hell
Hell of finals weeeeek!
(Ah ah ah ah ah aaah!)