Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts... period.
A/N: Was looking for some inspriation for my other fics so I just started writing and this is what it turned into. Funny that my other fics aren't even KH :) Hope you all enjoy this though it's not very long. Unsure as to whether there will be a sequel as this is only meant to be a oneshot. Please let me know what you think!
Thank you to my mega-awesome beta- Amy!
He didn't know if he would ever be happy for good.
Being with him was like being with fire. It kept you warm, showed you the way and was absolutely mesmerizing. But if you tried to pull it too close, it would burn you. If you tried to take more than it was willing to give, it would either flare or burn out.
Roxas knew that his addiction to Axel could not be extinguished quite so easily as a fire.
He was addicted to the callous way the red-haired man treated him; overwhelmed by the malignant gleam in Axel's eye. He couldn't stay away, and he hated it.
Roxas despised every part of the tragic being that held his heart in chains and bid him stay. He wanted to walk away, to let go of the uncertainty…
Then hungry lips would fall onto his own. Hands would travel to his waist and Roxas would forget, for a while, that he needed anything besides Axel to live. These kisses were a beacon for trust, guiding torment to tranquility and rage to rest.
In these moments, when the beast would calm, Roxas knew why he stayed through the chaos. When they laid together, eyes softened, hands glided.
Axel's eyes could cut through to a part of the soul that Roxas always seemed to forget about. Those eyes could push away the universe and hold Roxas enraptured.
Whispered words exposed souls.
Unspoken promises let them know they would never be alone.
Thin fingers touched a bruised lip from a too harsh kiss days before. The right words formed in hurting eyes but a hand to the his mouth silenced him. They both knew that, as sorry as he was now, it would happen again.
The electric current that was Axel would once again break from the ebb and Roxas would be thrown into the wreckage. Roxas knew that, as beautiful as Axel was lying in their bed, doe eyed and soothed, it could never match the splendor and intensity of Axel at full tilt. Axel in silent repose was nothing compared to when he pushed all away, forsaking the comfort of his lover.
The cruelty and anger that would bubble beneath the surface would erase all hope from Roxas' heart, but he could never leave….
Because Roxas knew.
He knew that he tied Axel to humanity. Roxas knew that without an anchor, Axel would be lost. As much as he was a hurricane of power, prone to blind terror, his soul weakened far too often. Roxas knew that he himself was the stronger.
It didn't matter that he was hurt by the blaze in Axel. He could remember what it was like, cheek to chest, languid and open. But Axel's tyranny could last for weeks at a time and no matter how Roxas tried, he never kept faith that Axel would bargain for redemption once more.
And it didn't matter.
Because Roxas was ardent and Axel was vulnerable, and vulnerability always seeks out its rock.
When Axel needed to be reassured that he was not alone, Roxas remembered why he stayed.
He stayed because Axel needed him to see beyond himself. He needed him to accept what he was and love him for it because he needed to be loved. In return, Axel would give him all he could hope for in these moments, however brief they lasted. He made everyone else go away and set them apart.
The addictive cycle could not break. They were tied together incontrovertibly. Roxas needing to be caught up in the whirl of all that Axel contained. Axel needing Roxas to keep loving him, no matter what.
And Roxas made the promise long ago and knew that he could do nothing but stand by it.
He will be loved.