Getting Over You

It's impossible. Inconceivable. Unattainable. Can't happen.

Why?

Because, no mater how much I deny it. To you. To them. To me. I love you. No matter how much I hate myself for it…how much I hate you for making me love you, I just can't stop.

Why can't I just love you? Why do I have to stop? Easy.

Your games. While fun and exhilarating confuse me and make me think, you don't care.

Her. You say you love me, sneak in and kiss me, then leave to see her. Playing with her. Stringing her along. I know I shouldn't worry…you say I'm the one, but actions speak louder than words.

Just two of the gazillion reasons. Oh? You want to hear others. How about our whole relationship. A joke. A secret. Something you're so ashamed of you won't even label.

What's worse is…no matter how much you hurt me, by what you say or what you do: I still love you. I'm still here to take you back.

Not seeing you drives me insane, a kiss makes me go wild. I'm desperate for you and you know that.

When my hands entangle in your hair…when you dark eyes look at me. A simple touch sends ripples of joy through my body. You hypnotize me.

When our hands intertwine…when your arms are around me. I feel safe… but then you float away. Leaving my anticipation and desperation to eat at me until I get to see you again.

Then I get antsy to see you. Nag at you to come back more…we fight. Pointless fights in which I always end up saying something I'll regret, making you float away from me. You make me hate myself. Make me wonder: This shouldn't go on. You'd save the other heartache if it stopped… but then there are days I think it's worth it.

Another part of me wonders how you feel. If you wonder the same things… but when I ask, you never give a straight answer. You don't tell me anything. It's funny because now that I think about it, I hardly know anything about you at all…while you know it all about me. Why can't you trust me if you love me? Do you even love me? It'd be nice to hear it.

I sigh as I hear the rapping at my window. Its you. You're back…before you go to see her, another visit before you disappear for days…again. As I walk to the window, I realize how confused I am by you, and how little I like it.

Biting my lip, from fear of saying something I'll regret...again, I silently open the window and let you in. The night is cool and the sweet scent of candy comes behind you, I close the window as to keep it from getting too cold in here. "What? No smart remark tonight?" You ask with your smirk and although I don't show it, it stings. I make no sound as I walk over and sit at my desk.

You lift up a brow and I quickly think of something to say. I know how you hate to be ignored. "I don't want to upset you." I improvise.

By the look on your face I can see that was the wrong thing to say "What, you think I'm so easily offended?" The hints of anger in your tone echo in the silent room as I think of something to say.

"I don't want to fight." I say. You seem a bit surprised by this and stay silent. The silence hurts me. Right now, I want to be safe in your embrace…but I have to resist. I have to be strong. I have to let go. No matter how much it hurts. "I don't wanna fight anymore. I give up." I shrug and feel the soft pink silk of my nightgown caress my shoulders. It doesn't compare to your touch.

"What?" You ask, confusion evident in both your tone and face

"I give up." I repeat holding back any tears and keeping my face as nonchalant as yours always is.

"Are…are you breaking up with me?" You actually seem a bit hurt. However, you quickly replace the emotion with indifference

I shake my head no. My voice comes out smooth, soft, rehearsed, as I walk towards the window and open it for you to exit "Can't break what was never together." There you are, Marshall Lee the vampire king, with your ax-bass around your back, hair perfectly tussled, that bewildered expression that makes me want to jump at you and press my lips to yours. "Goodbye." I mumbled walking back towards my bed. "Don't forget to say hello to Fionna for me." I say calmly as I climb into bed. The sweet smell of my cotton candy made sheets welcomes me. Then I hear your ax violently crash to the ground and I flinch. If I wasn't sure Peppermint Maid was asleep, I'd think she was on her way to check on me.

"Fionna… Fionna, Fionna, Fionna, Fionna, Fionna! I swear, why are you so jealous of her? Obviously she's not my type." Your angry voice is heading my direction but when I remove the blanket from my face, I see you haven't moved.

"I don't want to argue." I repeat holding back my own anger and tears. You stare, anger oozing off you. I wonder if you'll leave again. Come back whenever, thinking I'll take you back…again.

"Forget this. Forget you. I'm tired of your drama." Sometimes you say things…you forget you say them, but I don't. I remember loud and clear. Repeating repeatedly in my mind. They hurt. You hurt…a lot. Nevertheless, I always forgive. Why shouldn't I?

I love you.

"Goodbye." I say unable to control my mouth. My face remained calm although my heart raced and my throat felt like there was a huge knot in it. Both from fear. I was afraid I had just lost you for good…it might have been the best, but it still hurts and scares me. Also, afraid of that angry look on your face. I know you've never hit me before, but I've never pushed this far before.

"Fine! If you want me gone so bad, I'll leave!" You angrily grab your bass and begin got float towards the window.

My heart aches and my stomach feels like its been kicked, I rapidly sit up and my voice cracks as I say, "I don't want you gone." I can't control my tears any longer. My voice was so low and soft I don't think you heard it, but then you turn and face me "I love you." I say giving in. In a flash, we're lying on my bed kissing the other. As the night fades before me in the pleasure of your touch, the confusion and indecision in my head and the more…pressing matters at hand (Ha!), I can't help but wonder: Getting over you.

I should. Nevertheless, I can't, its impossible. I won't, it's inconceivable. So I don't its unattainable.

"I love you, Bubba." I hear you mumble this into my ear, my thoughts leave me, and I enjoy this moment, capturing it in my mind. Who knows when it'll happen again?

A/N

Hey, this is a filler while I work on my other stuff. A one-time. I hand wrote this in one day and typed it today. Took me 2 days.

This was originally a Fiolee story. I was listening to a cute song and thought it'd be nice to write a simple Fiolee one-shot filler, but then I had to deal with someone & they screwed up my mood.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed a short little yaoi, now I am gonna need to write a Yuri to even it out :I

Well, I hope to write more soon, finally out of school for the summer.

ON ANOTHER IMPORTANT NOTE: SAVE !

Would it really be so hard to add a MA category? No. Let us enjoy our pairings and their behaviors. It's not like we're making videos for glob's sake. Its reading. Schools have graphic novels too… some graphic-er than what we've written. And its not like we don't know about it already. If parents are so deeply concerned by this simply: Learn to control your children better.

You don't have to ruin it for us all. Jerks.

Well, Ttyl… I'm gonna go…watch AT or…write some more. Or…call someone. IDK I'm bored.