Prologue
When I was Sixteen and Howl was peaking at the age of nineteen...
We sat together in the tower that overlooked the Southern Water Tribe. It was sometime in April. "Howl, are you going to finish that?" I look pleadingly over at his dumplings.
He squints his eyes analyzing the dumpling. "I think I am."
Before he could even pop the dumpling into his mouth I swiped it and chewed it smugly at his protests.
"Hah. Deal with it." I open my mouth to show the squashed dumpling, "Want some?" I close my mouth and I chuckle when Howl rolled his eyes, "Wow, Korra you're so feminine."
"Should I be?" I flutter my eyelashes.
"I should say only around men but I know you don't give a hot damn about that." He leans back onto the walls of the tower accessing me.
"How do you know that? I got hormones. I hit puberty!" I yell vulgarly just for the sake of having Howl laugh good humorly but when Howl speaks again his voice is sober, "But when the world is balanced, you might want to begin looking in on that."
I look at my hands, they're burned from a failed Fire Bending attempt. "I won't because honestly Sometimes, I worry that I can never get the World Balance enough. That I fail as an Avatar."
Howl placed his hand on my shoulder, "You're not going to fail."
"What if I disappear like Avatar Aang?" I know Howl is giving me a look like his comprehending my weakness. He raises his hand up so it cups my cheek so I look at him.
"Korra, Every avatar is different but you know what they all have in common?"
"What, oh wise Howl?" I smile weakly at him.
He grins, moving closer so I can see straight into his dark eyes, "Avatar's never fail on balancing the world."
I don't know what had happened. The rawness of our conversation or what was said after didn't matter, but I remember what his lips felt and tasted like.
That was the first time I ever kissed Howl.
It wasn't awkward or lust filled. We spent quiet nights in the Tower talking about the stars and the snow. We spent lunches walking around the perimeter. We weren't public with our relationship.
If you could call it a relationship. We would do the same things we did before but we would be connected by some physical contact. Kissing, our hands clasped or just our legs crossed.
Sometimes when we kissed Howl would pull away shake his head, "I can't Korra. It's..." But he would look at me in these searching ways before kissing me again urgently. I didn't know it yet
But I fell for my guard. I think he loved me too.
But every passing day, I got better at my bending. Howl would congratulate me but his eyes would glaze off to the side. I called him out on it one day,
"Howl, what's wrong with you? That one guard asking you to suck his-"
In spite of himself Howl laughed shaking his head. He turned his back to me to look out to the vast land of snow. "Korra, I'm happy for you."
"But?" I stand by his side placing my hand on his.
"You know, after you master all four elements, "
"There's like eight now," I corrected him.
"Millions of elements, you're going to leave soon, the world needs it Avatar."
"Howl, are you afraid of losing me?" I turn him so I can place my hands on his face so he could look down into my eyes.
He brings my hands down and onto his chest, "Korra, I'm a guard. I'm always afraid."
From that day on wards, we didn't say it but we knew our time was going to come to an end.
Our kisses became feverish, our hands became frantic. Whenever we were alone we pushed the barrier. Each moment another article of clothing would be removed. One day it was just our shoes... then both our tunics.
Our skin felt hot and moist but Howl was always the one to pull away, "We can't Korra." He would then slip on his helmet and hand me my clothes with his back turned.
I became frustrated. More failed escapades in the days. In the months. Then a year passed. My firebending was perfected. Tenzin was due tomorrow and Howl and I would become a memory. Our time felt limited.
Howl began to distant himself from me. Too make it easier on us or he finally listened to himself and quit me, I never asked. He never took the night shifts or afternoon shifts. He slept in. He never watched my training anymore. I was never cold before but as Howl began to become a painful shadow I felt the icy blade slice through my heart. The last time he even touched me when he gave a faint kiss on my cheek on my birthday. I would take Naga out excessively just to talk to Howl, my only friend.
It was after Tenzin's visit that I finally took action.
I left a note for Howl to meet me at the Tower at night. I waited patiently for him. The odds he didn't show bore down on me. The Tower felt empty without Howl's presence. Hah, speak of the devil.
"Korra, what's wrong?" His voice was deeper and his chin was growing stubble. He sounded out of breath.
I felt an urge to wrap my arms around him but instead I crossed my arms in front of me, "What's wrong? What's wronnng?" I silently screeched. I turned away cursing myself as my eyes watered I loved you. That's what's wrong you dumbass!
He came behind me and placed his hands on my shoulders and turned me around. He embraced me tightly putting his chin on my head. "Korra I know what you're planning."
I try feebly to push away from him but I looked up at him as he looked down at me, "How? I didn't think it through yet. "He smiled solemnly, "Korra even when I'm not there, I'm always watching you."
I reply, "Aren't you just a creepy guard."
He kisses me quickly, "It's my job, and I'm always at the Tower. I saw the way you looked out and the distant way you looked at your food during dinner. I know you Korra."
I stretch up to meet his lips and moan a little when he tilts my head and deepens the kiss. "Korra…"
I bite on his bottom lip and whisper in his ear, "Howl, you can't stop the avatar…" I tease.
Howl shudders before grabbing my hand and pulling me behind him and down the tower, I frantically ask him, "Howl where are we going?"
"To my quarters."