Griffin Standoff's Journal
2540
I MENTIONED YESTERDAY THAT WHEN I ENTERED THE BARRACKS I FOUND I'D BEEN TRANSFERRED, BUT TODAY I FOUND OUT THE REAL DETAILS. AND I HAVE TO SAY, IT DOESN'T LOOK GOOD. I'M REALLY STARTING TO REGRET SPENDING TIME WORKING ON EXPERIMENTAL BIOCHEM AT UNIVERSITY, AND AM SORELY REGRETTING MY LAST PROMOTION. ONI'S ENROLLED ME INTO SOME TOP SECRET PROJECT OF THEIRS, ARES, AND I'VE BEEN GETTING THE WHOLE BRIEFING. LOOKS LIKE THINGS WITH COVENANT ARE EVEN WORSE THAN WE'VE BEEN TOLD, AND, PREDICTABLY, THAT MEANS ONI'S LOOKING FOR A MAGIC BULLET. APPARENTLY, A LOT OF BRASS THINK THAT BULLET IS THE SPARTANS––EXCUSE, ME, THE SIERRAS. THEY'VE APPROVED ANOTHER PROJECT, AND GUESS WHO THEY PICKED TO LEAD IT. THEY SAY THESE SPARTANS ARE OUR LAST, BEST HOPE, AND WHILE I DOUBT IT'S TRUE, I KNOW I'M NEEDED. I'VE AGREED, AND THEY'RE TRANSFERRING ME TO THE PROWLER DESCENT INTO DARKNESS TO SEARCH OUT THE CANDIDATES. I HAVEN'T BEEN TOLD WHO THEY ARE, BUT I'VE GOT TOP SECURITY CLEARANCE NOW, AND I'VE LOOKED INTO THE ORIGINAL CHARLIE ONE SIERRAS. I CAN GUESS WHATS NEXT.
WE'RE SCHEDULED TO ARRIVE AT THE FIRST PLANET ON THE FIFTH, SO THAT MEANS CRYO ISN'T NECESSARY. I'M STUCK IN A SHIP FULL OF SPOOKS FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE, AND EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE SECRET. IT'S ALREADY IRRITATING ME, BUT IF THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES TO WIN THE WAR, IT'S A SACRIFICE I'LL HAVE TO MAKE. I JUST HOPE I DON'T SCREW THIS UP.
MARCH 2ND, 2540
HARD TO BELIEVE OVER A MONTH HAS PASSED SINCE I STARTED THIS INFERNAL ASSIGNMENT. IF I'D KNOWN ALL THIS WOULD FOLLOW, I WOULD NEVER HAVE ACCEPTED. I'M STILL LEARNING TO USE MY NEW, VERY EXPANSIVE SET OF SECURITY CLEARANCES, AND ONI ISN'T BEING VERY FREE WITH INFORMATION, BUT I'VE LEARNED ENOUGH. THESE KIDS AREN'T GOING TO LIVE HAPPY LIVES, ANY OF THEM. I'M SETTING THEM UP FOR A LIFE OF PAIN JUST BY TALKING TO THEM. MY SUPERIORS, WHOEVER THEY ARE, TELL ME IT HAS TO BE DONE FOR OUR SURVIVAL. EVEN IF IT'S TRUE, IT'S STILL A TERRIBLE RESPONSIBILITY.
I'VE BEEN MEETING WITH CANDIDATES ALMOST ON A DAILY BASIS, TRYING TO GET TO AS MANY OF THEM AS I CAN AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. THE COVENANT CONTINUE TO ENCROACH ON OUR TERRITORY, AND WE'VE ALREADY LOST SEVERAL CANDIDATES TO RAIDS AND ATTACKS. IF WE DON'T HURRY, THERE WON'T BE ANYONE LEFT FOR THE PROGRAM. WE'VE BEEN HOPSCOTCHING FROM PLANET TO PLANET, AND LUCKILY MOST OF THE CANDIDATES HAVE BEEN CLUSTERED IN NEARBY SYSTEMS.
THE COVENANT IS ADVANCING RAPIDLY THROUGH THIS SECTOR, AND THERE AREN'T ENOUGH FORCES HERE TO DEFEND IT. WE'VE ALREADY HAD TO DODGE AROUND COVENANT PATROLS, AND WE'VE HAD SOME CLOSE CALLS ON THE SURFACE AS WELL. ONI SAYS WE CAN'T TAKE ANY CANDIDATES WITH US RIGHT NOW, BUT I'VE MADE IT VERY CLEAR TO THE ONBOARD INTELLIGENCE PERSONNEL THAT IF ANY OF THE CANDIDATES ARE IN DANGER, WE'LL BE EXTRACTING THEM IMMEDIATELY. I'M NOT LETTING THE COVENANT GET TO ONE OF OUR KIDS WHEN WE CAN SAVE THEM JUST AS EASILY.
APRIL 3RD, 2540
TODAY WE HAD OUR CLOSEST RUN IN YET WITH THE COVENANT. WE WERE INTERVIEWING ONE OF THE CANDIDATES –– [S-347], JENNIFER (I JUST CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO CALL THEM "TEST SUBJECTS" –– HALSEY MUST HAVE BEEN DEAD INSIDE TO DO THAT AND I'M NOT THAT FAR GONE YET) –– WHEN THE ALIENS LAUNCHED A SURPRISE ATTACK. TWO CRUISERS SLIPPED IN SYSTEM STRAIGHT UNDER THE ORBITAL DEFENSES AND IMMEDIATELY LAUNCHED TROOPS. PURE PANIC ENGULFED THE ENTIRE CITY. THEY LED THEIR ATTACK WITH BANSHEES, BUT IT WASN'T LONG BEFORE THEIR DROPSHIPS ENTERED THE MIX. WE HAD TO GRAB [S-347] THEN AND THERE, STRAIGHT OUT OF HOMEROOM––HER PARENTS ARE LOCAL GOVERNMENT BIG BIG––SHOTS, SO WE CLAIMED WE WERE MILITARY AND GOT MANAGED TO GET AWAY WITH IT. I CHECKED THE LIST, AND HER PARENTS MADE IT OUT ALIVE –– BUT THE REST OF THE CLASS DIDN'T, SO THE PARENTS WILL LIKELY BELIEVE SHE WAS KILLED WITH THE REST. I FEEL AWFUL ABOUT IT, BUT FROM WHAT I'VE READ OF THE CHARLIES ONES, WE MAY ACTUALLY BE SPARING THEM SOME PAIN. FLASH CLONE DECAY ISN'T PRETTY.
[S-347] IS STILL IN SHOCK, SO WE'VE GOT HER SEDATED AND WILL LIKELY PLACE HER IN CRYO FOR THE DURATION OF THE TRIP. SHE WAS A REAL FIRECRACKER WHEN I INTERVIEWED HER AT THE SCHOOL, WITH A BIT OF A MOUTH AND A BIG EGO FOR A SIX YEAR OLD. MONEY BREEDS IT, APPARENTLY. WHO KNOWS IF SHE'LL STILL HAVE IT WHEN SHE WAKES UP, BUT AT LEAST SHE'S MOTIVATED NOW. IT'S THE ONLY GOOD THING I'VE BEEN ABLE TO FIND IN THIS WHOLE DAMN AFFAIR. MY ACTIONS ARE IN DIRECT CONTRADICTION OF ONI'S ORDERS, BUT I DON'T THINK THE SPOOKS WILL TOUCH ME, AND EVEN IF THEY DO, I DON'T CARE. I SAVED A LIFE TODAY, AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. IT FEELS GOOD TO HAVE SOMETHING POSITIVE AGAINST THE UNRELENTING NEGATIVE OF THIS POSTING.
APRIL 23RD, 2540
CANDIDATE EXAMINATIONS CONTINUE AT BREAKNECK SPEED, AND I ABSOLUTELY HATE TO SAY IT, BUT I THINK I'M GETTING USED TO IT HERE. WE'VE HAD TO EXTRACT ANOTHER CANDIDATE SINCE [S-347], AND MY SUPERIORS ARE PISSED, BUT SOME TOP SHOT BY THE NAME OF NOVEMBER ROMEO HAS KEPT THEM AT BAY. I DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS, BUT HE'S GOT TO HAVE SOME CLOUT TO PULL THIS OFF. I'M STARTING TO GRASP THE BASICS OF THIS POLITICAL STUFF, BUT IT'S A BIG TRANSITION FOR A GROUND POUNDER LIKE ME. IT'S GOING TO TAKE A LONG TIME. HOPEFULLY I CAN KEEP SOME ALLIES LIKE HIM TO HELP MAKE UP FOR MY SHORTCOMINGS.
I INTERVIEWED ANOTHER CANDIDATE TODAY, AND IT JUST SO HAPPENED TO BE HIS BIRTHDAY. IT WAS A STRANGE AND FRIGHTENING DISCONNECTION; HE WAS IN THE MIDST OF A PARTY (ALBEIT A SOMEWHAT STRUGGLING ONE –– HIS PARENTS ARE NOT THE MOST FORTUNATE) AND THERE I WAS, PLOTTING TO TAKE HIM AWAY. AS IF I DIDN'T FEEL TERRIBLE ENOUGH. LOGISTICALLY, IT WAS AN ANNOYING INTERRUPTION, PUTTING US BEHIND SCHEDULE, BUT THAT WAS HARDLY MY BIGGEST CONCERN. I WISH I'D NEVER AGREED TO THIS DAMN JOB.
THE CANDIDATE I TALKED TO, HOWEVER, WAS INTERESTING. FROM THE MOMENT I MET HIM (NOT WHEN I SAW HIM BLOWING OUT HIS CANDLES, BUT WHEN I ACTUALLY MANAGED TO SPEAK WITH HIM), HE SEEMED…DIFFERENT. THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT HIM I COULD JUST SENSE. HE'S GOING TO BE GOOD. THERE ARE SOME DEFINITE PHYSICAL TEST THAT SHOWED HE HAS STRONG POTENTIAL –– HE'S SMART, CREATIVE, AND HAS DEXTERITY SCORES THAT ARE NEARLY OFF THE CHARTS –– BUT THERE'S MORE. HE SEEMS INNATELY DIFFERENT. I'VE NOTICED THIS BEFORE, IN SOME OF THE OTHER CANDIDATES, BUT IT WAS ESPECIALLY CLEAR IN HIM. I'VE SENT A QUERY TO ONI ABOUT HIM, EVEN THOUGH I'M NOT EXACTLY SURE WHAT'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT HIM. HOPEFULLY I WON'T SOUND LIKE A CRAZY PERSON, ASKING ABOUT A KID FOR NO REASON AT ALL.
MAY 14TH, 2540
I KEEP FINDING OUT MORE DETAILS ABOUT THIS PROJECT, AND THE MORE I FIND OUT, THE LESS I LIKE IT. THAT SAME NOVEMBER ROMEO HAS BEEN SLOWLY UPDATING ME WITH INFORMATION RELATIVE TO THE PROGRAM, THOUGH I'M FORCED TO FILL IN A LOT OF THE BLANKS THROUGH MY OWN SEARCHES IN MY SPARE TIME (WHAT LITTLE I HAVE OF IT, ANYWAY). THE COVENANT, OF COURSE, CONTINUE THEIR ATTACKS; WHAT WAS LEFT OF THE AUGUSTUS SYSTEM AFTER THEIR ASSAULT LAST APRIL IS NOW A BURNING BALL OF GLASS. WE LOST THREE CANDIDATES IN THAT LAST RAID, AND ANOTHER ONE IS MISSING. I DOUBT WE'LL HAVE MORE THAN FIFTY CANDIDATES FOR THE ENTIRE PROGRAM, AT THIS RATE. I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO MAKE DO WITH WHAT WE HAVE LEFT.
IN THE MEANTIME, I'M INTERVIEWING CANDIDATES AS FAST AS I CAN. THE INTERVIEWS ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A FORMALITY NOW –– WE'RE TAKING EVERYONE WE CAN GET, EVEN THOSE WHO LIKELY CAN'T CUT IT –– BUT ONI INSISTS. MORE OF THEIR DAMN BUREAUCRATIC BULLSHIT. AS IF THIS WHOLE THING WASN'T ALREADY BAD ENOUGH. AT LEAST THE CANDIDATE SELECTION PROCESS IS ALMOST OVER. MAYBE I'LL FEEL BETTER THEN. IT'S A SLIM HOPE, BUT I NEED SOMETHING TO HOLD ONTO.
ON AN UNRELATED NOTE, I WAS INTERVIEWING ANOTHER CANDIDATE TODAY AND HAD THE SAME ODD EXPERIENCE I HAD WITH [S––338]. HER TAG NUMBERS WERE CONFUSING –– OFFICIAL DOCUMENTS REFERRED TO HER AS BOTH 343 AND 358, AND EVEN MIXED UP HER GENDER A FEW TIMES –– BUT I COULD SENSE SOMETHING ABOUT HER, JUST LIKE THE OTHER. THERE'S SOMETHING DIFFERENT, SOMETHING SPECIAL, THAT I CAN'T QUITE PUT MY FINGER ON. HER FAMILY IS SLOWLY FRAGMENTING, SO WE MAY ACTUALLY BE DOING HER A FAVOR BY GIVING HER A WAY OUT, BUT SOMEHOW, ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT WHEN I'M REVIEWING HER IS THAT ODD FEELING (AND I'M ALSO ADMITTEDLY A LITTLE DISTRACTED BY HER APPARENT LOVE OF FIRE––SHE HAD TWO SEPARATE LIGHTERS OUT WHEN I VISITED –– MAYBE SHE'LL TAKE A LIKING TO THE M7057). LIKE THE OTHER, SHE'S GOT ALL THE PHYSICAL INDICATORS OF STRONG POTENTIAL, BUT I'M SURE I'M SENSING SOMETHING DIFFERENT. ONI HAS YET TO REPLY TO MY QUERY, SO I'M EAGERLY AWAITING THEIR RESPONSE.
MAY 27TH, 2540
TODAY I GAVE THE ORDER. THE "RECRUITMENT" AGENTS HAVE BEEN DISPATCHED, AND THEY'RE DUE BACK HERE IN A FEW WEEKS. IT'S SO ODD, SO SURREAL, EVEN NOW. I CAN'T GET PAST HOW EASY IT WAS, HOW NATURAL THE WHOLE AFFAIR FELT. ONE ORDER AND DOZENS OF KIDS ARE TAKEN FROM THEIR PARENTS, DOZENS OF OTHERS ABDUCTED FROM ORPHANAGES. IT'S FRIGHTENING AND DISTURBING AT THE SAME TIME. I ALWAYS HEARD THE STORIES ABOUT ONI'S SHADOW OPS, BUT NEVER REALLY BELIEVED THEM. EVERYTHING AFTER THIS WILL BE SEEN IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT FOR ME.
I ALSO MET THE CANDIDATE'S PRIMARY INSTRUCTOR, A MAN BY THE NAME OF LASZLO. ITS OBVIOUS TO ME THAT HE'S A SIERRA –– OFFICIAL DOCUMENTS CONSISTENTLY REFER TO HIM AS LIMA-108, AND HE'S GOT AN AURA OF DEADLINESS ABOUT HIM –– BUT I'M STILL AT A LOSS FOR WHERE HE CAME FROM. HE SEEMS TOO OLD TO BE A THREE OR A CHARLIE TWO, BUT I'VE STUDIED THE RANKS OF THE ACTIVE CHARLIE ONES AND HAVEN'T FOUND A TRACE OF HIM. I'M STILL LEARNING TO USE MY NEW CLEARANCES, SO MAYBE I'LL MAKE PROGRESS YET. AT ANY RATE, HE SEEMS KNOWLEDGEABLE AND I BELIEVE HE'LL BE AN EXCELLENT TEACHER. FROM OUR BRIEF CONVERSATION, HE SEEMS LIKE A GOOD SOLDIER. MAYBE I'VE FINALLY GOT AN ALLY TO RELY ON.
ONI HAS REBUFFED MY QUERY, SO IT LOOKS LIKE I'M GOING HAVE TO DO THE RESEARCH MYSELF. I'VE GOT PLENTY OF DOWN TIME TO ANALYZE THE CANDIDATES GENETIC PRINTS, BUT I'M NOT EVEN SURE WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR. HOPEFULLY INSPIRATION WILL STRIKE. IF NOT, PERHAPS THIS LASZLO FELLOW WILL BE ABLE TO HELP ME. IF HE'S CLOAKED IN SECRECY ENOUGH THAT I'M HAVING TROUBLE FINDING OUT HIS ORIGINS, HE SHOULD BE AT LEAST PASSINGLY FAMILIAR WITH THESE KINDS OF PROBLEMS. HE MAY HAVE SOME CONTACTS I CAN BORROW. I HAVE A FEELING THIS JOB WON'T BE PLEASANT IN THE SLIGHTEST.
JULY 22ND, 2540
THE CANDIDATES ARE DUE IN IN A FEW DAYS, AND THE WHOLE COMPLEX IS IN A FERMENT. I DIDN'T REALIZE WE HAD SO MANY PERSONNEL. IT FEELS LIKE EVERYONE'S IN A RUSH TO GET THINGS READY; SO MUCH FOR PLANNING AHEAD. THE GUILT FROM THE ABDUCTION IS STILL SINKING IN, AND I'M HAVING A HARD TIME SLEEPING. THERE'S NOTHING TO DISTRACT ME, AND EVERY PREPARATION WE MAKE IS AN UNWELCOME REMINDER OF THE ABDUCTION AND FLASH CLONES. HOPEFULLY THE ARRIVAL OF THE TRAINEES WILL GIVE ME SOMETHING ELSE TO FOCUS ON.
I'VE BEEN TRYING TO THINK UP A WAY TO APPROACH LASZLO AND ASK ABOUT HIS ORIGINS, BUT I'M STILL WONDERING WHICH THINGS ARE TABOO AND WHICH AREN'T. I DON'T THINK I'M USUALLY THE ONE TO WORRY ABOUT OFFENDING PEOPLE, BUT HE SEEMS LIKE A GOOD SOLDIER AND, QUITE FRANKLY, I DON'T THINK PISSING HIM OFF WILL HELP ME MUCH. I'VE ALREADY GOT ONI STONEWALLING ME, AND ALIENATING HIM SOUNDS LIKE A BAD IDEA.
SPEAKING OF BEING STONEWALLED, ONI HAS FOLLOWED UP ON THEIR REBUFF. APPARENTLY ONE OF THEIR WATCHDOG PROGRAMS CAUGHT ME SNOOPING AROUND THE GENETIC PROFILES OF OUR CANDIDATES, AND SOME SPOOK CONNECTED THE DOTS. THEY SENT A CEASE AND DESIST MESSAGE EXPLICITLY ORDERING ME TO DISCONTINUE MY LITTLE INVESTIGATION. NOT THAT I INTEND TO OBEY IT (WHAT ARE THEY GOING TO DO, SEND ME TO THE FRONT?), BUT I FOUND IT INSIGHTFUL. THEY DIDN'T SEEM TO CARE WHEN I WAS POKING AROUND THEIR PREDISPOSED GENETIC TRAITS OR WHEN I WAS CHECKING TO SEE WHICH DISEASES THEY'RE MOST LIKELY TO ACQUIRE, BUT I IMMEDIATELY GOT THEIR ATTENTION WHEN I OPENED THE LOG OF THEIR GENETIC MATCH TO THE ORIGINAL CLASS. THAT'S TOO MUCH OF A COINCIDENCE. AND THAT'S INFORMATION RIGHT THERE.
JULY 29TH, 2540
SUCCESS…IF YOU CAN CALL IT THAT. I FINALLY KNOW WHAT ONI WAS HIDING, AND IT'S ILLUMINATING. THE KEY TO THE DIFFERENCE IN [S-343] AND [S-338] IS IN THEIR MATCH TO THE ORIGINAL CHARLIE ONES –– AND THE LACK OF A MATCH IN THE OTHERS. IT SEEMS OBVIOUS, IN RETROSPECT, AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I DIDN'T CATCH IT UNTIL NOW. IT'S NOT THAT THE TWO OF THEM DON'T MATCH –– IT'S THAT THEY'RE THE ONLY ONES THAT DO. THE GENETIC MATCHES –– THE PERCENT OF GENES THAT MATCH THE ORIGINAL GENETIC GUIDELINES SET BY HALSEY –– ARE DRASTICALLY OUT OF SYNC. ONLY 10% ARE CLOSE TO THE ORIGINAL GENETIC STOCK, AND ONLY [S-338] AND [S-343] ARE REALLY EQUAL. 42% POSSESS 75% OR LOWER OF THE NEEDED GENE SEQUENCES. AND THE REMAINING 48% ARE JUST RANDOM KIDS THROWN IN BY SECTION III!
I'M STILL LEARNING ABOUT THE AUGMENTATION PROCEDURES, WHICH WILL LIKELY BE FROM THE OLDER SET BECAUSE OF FUNDING (OR LACK THEREOF), BUT I KNOW ENOUGH. ONI ISN'T JUST SKIMPING ON SOME LITTLE DETAIL; THIS IS BIG. WITH THOSE KINDS OF SCORES, WE'RE GOING TO END UP LOSING SCORES OF TRAINEES IN AUGMENTATION, AND FIELD SUB––PAR SPARTANS AMONG THOSE WHO SURVIVE. THE ORIGINAL CHARLIE ONES SUSTAINED 56% LOSSES, WITH THE CORRECT GENETIC CODE. I THOUGHT I KNEW ALL THE TERRIBLE THINGS THERE WERE TO KNOW ABOUT THIS PROGRAM. I GUESS I WAS WRONG.
THIS IS TOO MUCH TO KEEP TO MYSELF, BUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO TURN. THE DI HERE, DEAN JACKSON, IS A GOOD MARINE BUT DOESN'T HAVE ANY SORT OF CLOUT AT ALL. NOVEMBER ROMEO –– WHO I NOW STRONGLY SUSPECT TO BE REAR ADMIRAL NED RICH, COMMANDER OF THE COVERT OPERATIONS GROUP, WHICH IS CONTROLLING THIS PROJECT –– IS IN ALL LIKELIHOOD FULLY AWARE OF THE RISKS. HE MIGHT HAVE EVEN GREEN LIT THE PROGRAM. THERE'S ONLY ONE OPTION LEFT I CAN THINK OF. I'VE SENT AN ANONYMOUS MESSAGE TO LASZLO, INDICATING THAT HE SHOULD CHECK INTO THE GENETIC MATCHES A LITTLE MORE THOROUGHLY.
IF I CAN'T FIND AN ALLY IN HIM, THEN I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING TO TURN TO NEXT.
AUGUST 2ND, 2540
LASZLO RESPONDED TO MY MESSAGE TODAY. HE DIDN'T INDICATE HOW HE TRACED THE MESSAGE, BUT HE DEFINITELY HAD INTERESTING THINGS TO SAY. A LOT OF IT I SUSPECTED, BUT SOME OF IT WAS NEW. ABOVE ALL, HE STRESSED THAT, DESPITE WHATEVER REASON THEY CHOSE ME FOR, ONI STILL DON'T TRUST ME. THAT WASN'T A SURPRISE, BUT IT WAS A SURPRISE TO FIND OUT NOVEMBER ROMEO –– DEFINITELY RICH, ACCORDING TO LASZLO –– IS BEHIND MOST OF THIS PROJECT. DETAILS BEYOND THAT WERE NOT DISCLOSED. HE ALSO MENTIONED THAT I MIGHT WANT TO SECURE MY DATA ENTRIES; APPARENTLY, ONI'S SPY PROGRAMS ARE OPERATING WITHIN THE PROJECT'S INFRASTRUCTURE ALREADY. I'M NOT MUCH OF A TECH AND NOT REALLY ONE FOR THIS SUBTERFUGE STUFF, BUT I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
TRAINING STARTED IN EARNEST YESTERDAY, AFTER LASZLO MET WITH THE CANDIDATES THE DAY BEFORE. I CONTEMPLATED PLAYING THE ROLE OF HALSEY AND SHOWING UP TO HELP WITH THE INTRODUCTION, BUT I DECIDED LASZLO COULD HANDLE IT. ONI CURRENTLY HAS ME DOING LOGISTICAL WORK, ORGANIZING THE PROJECT, AND I CERTAINLY HOPE IT'S JUST PLACEHOLDER TASKS TO GIVE ME SOMETHING TO DO. IF I END UP WORKING AS SOME SORT OF TASKMASTER, I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FORGIVE MYSELF FOR LEAVING THE FRONT LINES.
IT SEEMS ODD THAT IT'S SETTING IN SO LATE, BUT I'M STARTING TO MISS MY TROOPS. MY ISOLATION HERE IS COMPLETE; I KNOW NO ONE, AND MY ONLY CONNECTION WITH ANOTHER PERSON IS TO SOME SHADOWY SIERRA THAT I CAN'T TRACE. I FEEL WRONG COMPLAINING, BECAUSE IT'S A JUST PENANCE FOR ALL THAT I'VE DONE –– YET I CAN'T HELP IT. THE WORLD SEEMS TO HAVE DISTORTED COMPLETELY OUT OF RECOGNITION OVER THE PAST FEW MONTHS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID TO GET THIS POSTING, BUT I SINCERELY, SINCERELY WISH I HADN'T DONE IT.
AUGUST 7TH, 2540
TRAINING IS GOING WELL, AND OVER THE PAST FEW DAYS, MY ANXIETY HAS STARTED TO WANE. I LET IT, BECAUSE I STILL HAVE A JOB TO DO, HOWEVER MUCH I DESPISE IT, AND MOPING AROUND WON'T HELP IT. TODAY A REPORT CAME IN, HOWEVER, THAT SENT ME STRAIGHT BACK. RICH'S FIELD TEAMS HAVE MADE A POINT TO OBSERVE THE CANDIDATES' REPLACEMENTS (THE FLASH CLONES ONI EMPLOYED), AND THEY SENT IN THEIR FIRST OBSERVATIONS TODAY. I'VE READ PLENTY ABOUT METABOLIC DECAY, AND I STILL REMEMBER DOING TEST LABS ON RATS AT UNIVERSITY. I THOUGHT I WAS READY, EVEN KNOWING HOW BAD IT WAS. BUT THE FLASH CLONE DECAY REALLY IS TERRIBLE. SIX REPLACEMENTS HAVE ALREADY SUCCUMBED; FIVE FROM SIMPLE DECAY, AND ANOTHER FROM AN INFECTION AGGRAVATED BY THE DRASTICALLY LOWER IMMUNE SYSTEM.
THE THING THAT DID ME IN WAS THE PICTURES. THE FIELD TEAMS TOOK GREAT CARE TO…DOCUMENT THE SCENE, AND I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW TERRIBLE THINGS REALLY WERE UNTIL I OPENED THE FIRST ONE. AFTER THAT, I COULDN'T STOP MYSELF. EACH ONE WAS WORST THAN THE LAST –– BUT I HAD TO LOOK. I WAS RESPONSIBLE. I FEEL CONSUMED WITH GUILT. IT'S ONE THING TO SHOOT AN INSURRECTIONIST WITH A GUN TO YOU, BUT KILLING CHILDREN –– AND THAT'S WITHOUT A DOUBT WHAT I'VE HELPED DO, AS SURE AS IF I SHOT THEM DEAD–– IS ANOTHER MATTER ENTIRELY. MY THOUGHTS FEEL LIKE THEY'RE UNRAVELING. I HAVE TO MAKE A CHANGE BEFORE I DRIVE MYSELF MAD.
THE WORST PART ABOUT IT ALL IS THAT THE CANDIDATES ARE REALLY STARTING TO EXCEL. IT'S BEEN BARELY OVER A WEEK, SO IT'S DIFFICULT TO COMPARE THEIR PROGRESS TO THE ORIGINAL CLASS, BUT THEY'RE ALL SHOWING EXCEPTIONAL TEAMWORK AND STRENGTH OF WILL. MOST ARE NO MORE THAN SIX OR SEVEN, BUT THEY'RE PUSHING ON WITH THE TRAINING AND WORKING EXCEPTIONALLY HARD. LASZLO IS QUITE DEFINITELY A GOOD TEACHER; HE KNOWS HOW TO MOTIVATE THESE CHILDREN BETTER THAN I COULD IN A MILLION YEARS. HE'S FOLLOWING HALSEY'S EXAMPLE FAIRLY CLOSELY, BUT HAS ALSO MADE A FEW CHANGES, WHICH SEEM TO BE WORKING OUT WELL. HE CHOSE TO SORT THE RECRUITS INTO TEAMS IMMEDIATELY, RATHER THAN TO WAIT, AND THEY HAVE ALREADY FORMED THEIR OWN FAMILIES WITHIN THEIR SQUADS. THEY STILL WORK WELL WITH THE OTHER RECRUITS, BUT IT SEEMS TO BE HELPING THEM COPE WITH ALL THE CHANGES –– THEY'RE HOLDING EACH OTHER TOGETHER, WITHOUT A DOUBT.
AUGUST 17TH, 2540
WE HAD OUR FIRST ESCAPE ATTEMPT TODAY, AND DAMNED IF IT WASN'T CRAFTY. ONE OF THE MORE "INDEPENDENT" SQUADS, CRIMSON (THEY'VE ALL GOT LOUD MOUTHS AND A PENCHANT FOR DISOBEYING PRACTICALLY EVERYONE), MADE AN ATTEMPT TO SLIP AWAY FROM THE COMPLEX. I NEVER REALIZED SIX YEAR OLD'S COULD BE SO INTUITIVE, BUT I'M LEARNING QUICKLY THAT THESE KIDS AREN'T YOUR AVERAGE KINDERGARTNERS (EVEN IF THEY'RE NOT QUITE UP TO HALSEY'S STANDARDS). WHILE TWO OF THEM ([S-311] AND [S-341]) STAGED A DISTRACTION IN THE MESS HALL, [S-319] HACKED OUR BASE SYSTEMS AND KEYED A FIRE ALARM. IN THE SHEER PANDEMONIUM, THE OTHER TWO, [S-303] AND [S-327], INFILTRATED THE BASE SECURITY STATION, KILLED THE CAMERA SYSTEM, AND APPARENTLY PROCURED RADIO DEVICES. THE FIVE OF THEM ALL HEADED FOR THE SURFACE VIA SERVICE TUNNELS, AND IF IT WASN'T FOR SOME QUICK THINKING ON LASZLO'S PART (CALLING IN A PELICAN SEARCH IN THE EXACT RIGHT AREA –– LIKE HE HAD EXPERIENCE SNEAKING OUT!) THEY PROBABLY WOULD'VE SLIPPED AWAY.
I GUESS I SHOULDN'T BE SURPRISED, GIVEN THE RECORD OF CLASS ONE GROUPS LIKE GRAY TEAM AND TEAM BLACK, BUT THE SHEER PLANNING OF IT ALL TOOK ME ABACK. NO ONE IN THE TEAM IS OLDER THAN SIX AND A HALF, YET THEY HAD THE WHOLE PLAN MEMORIZED, TIMED EXACTLY, AND WELL THOUGHT OUT BEFORE HAND. WHEN LASZLO CAUGHT THEM, HE CONFISCATED ALMOST A MONTHS WORTH OF DRY RATIONS, SURVIVAL GEAR, AND WEAPONS THAT THEY'D SMUGGLED OUT OF STORAGE OVER THE PAST MONTH –– ALL THE WHILE MANIPULATING THE RECORD MANIFEST TO COVER THEIR TRACKS. NONE OF THEM HAVE STEPPED FORWARD AS THE LEADER, AND I HEARD SOME OF THE DI'S STARTED A (DISCRETE) POOL TRYING TO GUESS WHO THE GURU WAS. JACKSON HAS HIS MONEY ON [S-319], WHILE MOST OF THE OTHERS ARE HIGHLIGHTING [S-311] DUE TO HER HIGH IQ SCORES. I'VE NOTICED WITH DISTINCT INTEREST THAT LASZLO DOESN'T HAVE A BET PLACED (PERSONALLY, I DON'T KNOW THEM WELL ENOUGH TO MAKE A WAGER –– BUT WOULD PUT MONEY ON [S-341], JUST BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE SEEMS TO BE).
IF THERE'S ANY BRIGHT SIDE IN THIS –– BESIDES GIVING OUR SECURITY TEAM A LIST OF A FEW DOZEN IMPROVEMENTS TO BE MADE –– IT'S THAT IT'S HELPED DISTRACT ME SOMEWHAT. IT'S HARD TO BE CONSUMED WITH GUILT WHEN YOU'RE BUSY SWEARING AT A DI AND SEARCHING FOR MISSING RECRUITS. I THINK THAT'S THE CLOSEST THING I'LL FIND TO A SOLUTION: THROW MYSELF INTO THE PROGRAM AND DO MY ABSOLUTE BEST TO HELP TRAIN THESE KIDS. IT'S TOO LATE TO SAVE THE CLONES, OR TO UNDUE THE DAMAGE I'VE DONE TO THEIR LIVES…BUT I CAN TRY AND MINIMIZE IT, AND HELP THEM TO SAVE THE LIVES OF OTHER PEOPLE AS WELL. THAT'S THE HOPE, ANYWAY.
NOVEMBER 9TH, 2540
TRAINING IS ON SCHEDULE, AND FOR THE MOST PART, THERE AREN'T MANY SURPRISES. LASZLO IS HOLDING FAIRLY TRUE TO HALSEY'S MODEL, AND IS REPLICATING HER WORK WELL (PERHAPS BETTER, GIVEN THE QUALITY OF THE CANDIDATE'S HE'S WORKING WITH). I'VE BEEN DOING MY BEST TO HELP WITH THE TRAINING, AND WHILE THE DI'S ARE ALL MUCH BETTER QUALIFIED TO TEACH, I DO WHATEVER I CAN TO HELP PLAN THE DRILLS AND ORGANIZE THINGS. IT'S A CHALLENGE SOMETIMES JUST TO FIND WORK, AND THAT FEELS DOWNRIGHT WRONG. THE LIST OF PLANET'S LOST TO THE COVENANT IS GROWING EVERY MONTH, AND SITTING IN A CHAIR, DOING NOTHING, DEFINITELY DOES NOT SIT WELL WITH ME.
NOT ALL DOOM AND GLOOM, THOUGH. THE FIRST WAVE OF CANDIDATE PROGRESS REPORTS ARE IN, AND THEY'RE WELL AHEAD OF THE PROJECTED EXPECTATIONS –– EVEN THE RANDOM ONES WE PICKED UP OFF THE STREET. ONI ANALYSTS (AND MY OWN INDEPENDENT PROJECTIONS) PREDICTED WE'D BE SEEING APPROXIMATELY 90% OF THE ORIGINAL CHARLIE ONE PERFORMANCE BY NOW, BUT THE CANDIDATES ARE STILL MATCHING THEM FAIRLY CLOSE. A FEW ARE AS LOW AS 95%, BUT THEY'RE BEING BUOYED BY A LARGE CROP OF RECRUITS THAT ARE MATCHING THEM EXACTLY –– [S-338], [S-343], AND [S-341] IN PARTICULAR. THE FIRST TWO ARE EVEN SURPASSING SOME OF THE LESS PROFICIENT CHARLIE ONE CANDIDATES.
I HAD A MINOR ALTERCATION WITH AN ONI AGENT EARLIER THIS WEEK WHEN HE TRIED TO TAKE SOME OF THE CANDIDATES FOR "TESTING" WITHOUT ASKING ME OR LASZLO, AND IT TOOK SOME SERIOUS SMOOTH TALK BY RICH TO CALM THINGS DOWN. I'M STARTING TO GET THE FEELING AGAIN THAT I'M NOT WELCOME HERE, AND I'M WATCHING MY BACK. I'VE ACTUALLY STARTED GETTING COMFORTABLE HERE (THESE RECRUITS ARE REMARKABLY INNOCENT FOR ALL THEY'VE BEEN THROUGH, AND BEING AROUND THEM TENDS TO PUT ME A LITTLE TOO MUCH AT EASE), AND IT'S HARDER AND HARDER TO STAY VIGILANT. I KNOW I HAVE TO, BECAUSE EVEN IF THEY'RE ON MY SIDE, I KNOW ONI IS DEFINITELY NOT LOOKING OUT FOR THE BEST INTERESTS OF THESE KIDS. AND IF THEY'RE NOT, THAT MEANS I HAVE TOO.
DECEMBER 22ND, 2540
2541
WE WANTED TO HAVE OUR TEAM LEADER ROSTER UP A MINIMUM OF SIX MONTHS INTO TRAINING, AND WE WERE VERY CLOSE TO THAT DEADLINE. THE CHARLIE ONES DIDN'T REALLY TAKE ON A DEFINITIVE COMMAND STRUCTURE UNTIL BASICALLY 2 YEARS INTO THEIR TRAINING, BUT LASZLO'S MORE FOCUSED TEAM BUILDING HAS HEIGHTENED THE NEED FOR ORGANIZED LEADERSHIP. PICKING LEADERS IS HARD, BECAUSE IT'S STILL EARLY, AND SOME OF OUR BEST CANDIDATES COULD BE LATE BLOOMERS, BUT I FEEL FAIRLY CONFIDENT IN OUR CHOICES (THEY CAN ALL BE MODIFIED, IF NEED BE, AS WELL).
AS IT STANDS, WE'VE GOT DEFINITE LEADERS FOR SEVEN TEAMS, WITH LIKELY CANDIDATES FOR THE OTHER THREE. OUR CRITERIA WAS BASED ON A NUMBER OF FACTORS, BUT NAMELY ON THE CANDIDATE'S COMBAT ABILITIES AND LEADERSHIP TALENT. A FEW WERE OBVIOUS –– LIKE [S-338] FOR TAN, [S-341] FOR CRIMSON (WHO I'M NOW CONVINCED, BY THE WAY, MASTERMINDED THEIR FAILED ESCAPE ATTEMPT 5 MONTHS AGO), [S-312] FOR SILVER, AND [S––309] FOR TURQUOISE –– BUT THERE WERE PLENTY OF DIFFICULT ONES TOO. SCARLET, OLIVE, AND CYAN WERE ALL NAIL BITERS (WE ENDED UP CHOOSING [S-356] FOR SCARLET, [S-316] FOR OLIVE, AND [S-314] FOR CYAN –– [S-343] WAS CONSIDERED, BECAUSE SHE'S THE MOST CAPABLE MEMBER IN THE WHOLE TEAM, BUT [S––314] IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN KEEP THEM IN LINE.)
AS FOR THE THREE SQUADS LEFT LEADERLESS (ORANGE, GOLD, AND VIOLET), WE'RE STILL DELIBERATING. LASZLO MOSTLY HAS YET TO IDENTIFY A REALLY SOLID, STAND OUT LEADER IN VIOLET AND ORANGE, AND IS WAITING TO SEE IF ANYTHING DEVELOPS. GOLD ON THE OTHER HAND, IS TRICKY. NEITHER ME NOR LASZLO CAN REALLY DECIDE; WE'VE GOT TWO CANDIDATES PRIME FOR A LEADERSHIP ROLE ([S-363] AND [S-347]), BUT THEY BOTH HAVE DISTINCT TALENTS AND WEAKNESSES; [S-363] ISN'T NEARLY AS TACTICALLY ADEPT AS [S-347], BUT HE'S MODEST, CAUTIONARY, AND HAS A TALENT FOR MAKING HIS TEAM WORK SEAMLESSLY WELL TOGETHER. [S-347], BY CONTRAST, HAS ALL THE NECESSARY TACTICAL ABILITIES (AND THEN SOME) BUT LACKS A MORE PERSONAL TOUCH –– LIKE I NOTED WHEN WE PICKED HER UP, SHE'S GOT A BIG HEAD AND IS A BIT OF A HELLCAT; THE SQUAD FINDS HER ABRADING AT TIMES. WE'RE TRYING HARD TO FIGURE OUT WHICH WE'LL PUT IN COMMAND, BUT IT'S DEFINITELY A WORK IN PROGRESS.
MARCH 25TH, 2541
FINALLY GOT TEAM LEADERS SORTED OUT FOR THE REST OF THE SQUADS; WE GOT ORANGE AND VIOLET SET BY EARLY APRIL, BUT THE ROSTER FOR GOLD ELUDED US UNTIL TODAY. FINALLY, AFTER A FEW HEART-TO-HEART CHATS, I DECIDED TO GO FOR [S-363] OVER [S-347]. AT LASZLO'S SUGGESTION, WE PUT [S-347] IN AS THE SECOND IN COMMAND OF GOLD, TO HELP LESSEN THE TENSION OF THE DECISION; HOPEFULLY THE POSITION WILL BE ENOUGH FOR HER. IF NOT…WELL, WE'LL CROSS THAT BRIDGE WHEN WE GET TO IT. NOT MUCH WE CAN DO ABOUT IT RIGHT NOW, SHORT OF TRANSFERRING HER OUT (AND THAT'S THE ABSOLUTE LAST THING I WANT TO DO –– I DON'T IMAGINE A TRANSFER WOULD BE PRETTY FOR ANYONE INVOLVED).
WITH THE SQUAD LEADER ROSTER WORKED OUT THOUGH, THINGS HAVE PRETTY MUCH SETTLED DOWN. TRAINING IS GOING WELL, AND ALTHOUGH WE'RE STILL IN THE BEGINNING STAGES, THE FUTURE (FOR THE PROGRAM AT LEAST) LOOKS BRIGHT; THE RECRUITS HAVE ALL ADJUSTED WELL TO THE NEW ENVIRONMENT, ARE HONING THEIR BASIC COMBAT SKILLS, AND IN SOME CASES, ARE EVEN EXCELLING. A FEW TEAMS IN PARTICULAR ARE OF NOTE; CRIMSON TEAM (WHO, DESPITE THEIR ROGUE––ISH BEHAVIOR, ARE ALL PROVING EXTREMELY CAPABLE) ARE SCORING HIGHER ON ACADEMIC TESTING THAN MANY OF THE CLASS II'S DID, CYAN TEAM RECENTLY EARNED THE HONOR OF BEING THE FIRST TO QUALIFY WITH MARKSMAN LEVEL SCORES ON THEIR RIFLE TESTS, AND TAN TEAM IS LEADING THE WAY IN TACTICS TRAINING, WITH HIGH SCORES ALL AROUND. MEANWHILE, WE'VE GOT ANOTHER SURPRISE IN SCARLET TEAM; THEY'RE NOT ONE OF OUR BEST SQUADS, BUT THEY'RE ALL VERY SPECIALIZED, MAKING A STRONGER UNIT OVERALL.
IN FACT, THE TEAM'S PERFORMANCE IS HOLDING TRUE TO THEIR EARLIER EXAMPLE A FEW MONTHS AGO; THEY ARE ACTUALLY PERFORMING BETTER THAN ANTICIPATED. WHETHER IT'S FROM LASZLO'S TUTELAGE OR FROM SHEER TENACITY, OUR KIDS ARE PULLING OFF 95% RATIOS, SAME AS BEFORE. I'M HONESTLY TEMPTED TO SAY IT'S FROM THEIR OWN SHEER STUBBORNNESS; THEY ARE ALL ROUGHLY EQUAL IN MOST FIELDS, EVEN WHERE NATURAL APTITUDES DICTATE CERTAIN INDIVIDUALS SHOULD BE STRONGER –– LEADING ME TO BELIEVE THEY'RE PUSHING EACH OTHER TO DO BETTER. IT'S FUNNY THAT THEY'RE BREAKING SO HEAVILY FROM ONI'S EXPECTATIONS, BECAUSE THEY'RE ACTUALLY FAIRLY PREDICTABLE; OTHER THAN A FEW MINUTE DIFFERENCES, THEY ALL HAVE ROUGHLY SIMILAR SKILL SETS. A FEW TEAMS (LIKE THE ONES I NOTED ABOVE) ARE DIFFERENT IN THAT THEY'RE A LITTLE BIT BETTER, BUT THAT'S ABOUT IT.
SEEMS I'M RAMBLING NOW, SO I THINK I MAY CUT THIS ENTRY OFF HERE. HAD A MINOR LEG OPERATION DONE A FEW DAYS AGO ON A RECENT TRAINING INJURY, AND THE PAINKILLERS ARE PLAYING HELL WITH MY HEAD.
JUNE 18TH, 2541
PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATIONS, YEAR 1 (2541)
(TRANSCRIPT #24: EVALUATOR: SAKURA KISHIMOTO; SUBJECT: BALDUIN-324)
[BALDUIN ENTERS THE ROOM AND SITS DOWN AT THE EVALUATOR'S PROMPTING.]
KISHIMOTO: IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU WELL, BALDUIN.
BALDUIN: HEY, I'M ALWAYS IN GOOD SHAPE!
KISHIMOTO: I ADMIRE YOUR RESILIENCE AND ENTHUSIASM, BALDUIN, BUT WE BOTH KNOW THE DOCTOR SAYS DIFFERENTLY.
BALDUIN: REALLY, MS. KISHIMOTO, I'M FINE.
[BALDUIN GIVES A REASSURING SMILE.]
KISHIMOTO: I ALMOST BELIEVE YOU WHEN YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT. YOU'RE A SWEET BOY, BALDUIN.
[BALDUIN LOOKS DOWN, CHEEKS FLUSHED.]
KISHIMOTO: BUT I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT ROGER PUNCHED YOU TWO DAYS AGO.
BALDUIN: THAT? THAT DIDN'T FAZE ME AT ALL.
KISHIMOTO: IT BROKE YOUR NOSE AND YOU LOST TWO OF YOUR TEETH.
BALDUIN: I CAN STILL CHEW JUST FINE. BESIDES, I TWISTED MY NOSE BACK INTO PLACE, SO NO HARM DONE. PLUS, I OUTRAN HIM YESTERDAY.
[BALDUIN GIVES A SATISFIED SMILE – A GAP CAN BE SEEN BETWEEN HIS TEETH.]
KISHIMOTO: I WANTED TO TALK WITH YOU ABOUT THAT TOO. YOU COLLAPSED FROM EXHAUSTION THE MOMENT YOU PASSED THE FINISH LINE. AND THE DOCTOR FOUND YOU HAD A TWISTED ANKLE, SKINNED KNEES AND MORE BLISTERS ON YOUR SOLES THAN ANY OF THE OTHER RECRUITS.
BALDUIN: YEAH, BUT I STILL BEAT HIM. ISN'T THAT BETTER THAN PUNCHING HIM?
KISHIMOTO: YES, IT IS, BUT I FEAR YOU'RE PUSHING YOURSELF TOO HARD. YOU'RE GOING TO HURT YOUR BODY IN THE LONG––TERM IF YOU KEEP THIS UP.
[BALDUIN STARTS TO LOOK UNEASY.]
BALDUIN: WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, MS. KISHIMOTO, BUT YOU'RE JUST THE THERAPIST, RIGHT? ISN'T IT CAPTAIN KATONA'S DUTY TO MANAGE OUR TRAINING REGIMEN?
KISHIMOTO: YES, BUT PUSHING YOUR BODY BEYOND ITS LIMITS IS A PROBLEM – ONE THAT I'M CONVINCED IS JUST A SYMPTOM OF SOMETHING YOU'RE GOING THROUGH PSYCHOLOGICALLY.
BALDUIN: I DON'T SEE THE PROBLEM. THE CAPTAIN COMMENDED ME ON COMING THIRD IN THE RACE. IF SOMETHING WAS WRONG, I THINK HE WOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING.
KISHIMOTO: I'VE NO DOUBT THE CAPTAIN IS A GOOD, RESPECTABLE MAN, BUT HIS OPINIONS AREN'T ABSOLUTE.
BALDUIN: BUT HE'S A SPARTAN. HE HAS TO KNOW MORE ABOUT TRAINING THEM THAN YOU DO – NO OFFENSE, MS. KISHIMOTO.
KISHIMOTO: NONE TAKEN, BALDUIN. I THINK THAT MAY BE HIS PROBLEM – HE'S TREATING YOU LIKE YOU WERE RECRUITS TO THE PROGRAM THAT CREATED HIM, WHETHER YOU'RE CAPABLE OF DOING THE SAME THINGS OR NOT.
[BALDUIN'S FACE HARDENS AT THE LAST SENTENCE.]
BALDUIN: ARE YOU SAYING I'M INCAPABLE?
KISHIMOTO: I'M SAYING YOU'RE PUSHING YOURSELF TOO FAR.
BALDUIN: I'M PUSHING MYSELF ENOUGH TO CATCH UP TO EVERYONE ELSE. ISN'T THAT WHAT THIS TRAINING IS ABOUT? BECOMING STRONG ENOUGH TO FIGHT THE COVENANT?
KISHIMOTO: YOU WON'T BENEFIT FROM A BODY BROKEN BEFORE ITS TIME, BALDUIN.
[THERE IS A LONG PAUSE.]
KISHIMOTO: ANYWAY, I TRUST YOU LIKE IT HERE?
[BALDUIN INSTANTLY LOOKS MORE ENTHUSIASTIC.]
BALDUIN: YEAH! WE'RE LEARNING SO MUCH, I FEEL LIKE WE CAN DO THIS. YOU KNOW, FIGHT THE COVENANT. AND AVALANCHE – THE AI –– TEACHES US SO MUCH COOL HISTORY – DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THE BATTLE OF THERMOPYLAE? OR THE BATTLE OF MONTGISARD? DID YOU KNOW THAT IN THE LATTER A KING WITH MY NAME DEFEATED A FAR SUPERIOR ARMY EVEN THOUGH HE HAD LEPROSY? AND DID YOU––
KISHIMOTO: NOT AS WELL AS YOU, I'M SURE, BALDUIN. I'M GLAD YOU'RE ENJOYING YOURSELF – WHEN YOU FIRST CAME HERE, YOU SEEMED...RELUCTANT.
[BALDUIN LOOKS AWAY, CONTEMPLATING.]
BALDUIN: THAT WAS THEN. I MISSED MY PARENTS AND SISTER, AND WORRIED IF THEY WERE OKAY. BUT THEN I REALIZED THAT THEY'RE ON EARTH – THERE'S NO SAFER PLACE, RIGHT? AND I REALIZED THAT...I'M NEEDED HERE. I CAN DO MORE GOOD AS A SPARTAN THAN I EVER COULD IF I HAD STAYED AT HOME.
KISHIMOTO: THAT'S A VERY ADULT WAY TO LOOK AT IT, BALDUIN. IT'S A RELIEF YOU FEEL SO WELL ABOUT BEING HERE. AM I TO ASSUME YOU'RE GETTING ALONG WITH YOUR FELLOW RECRUITS, THEN? EXCEPT FOR ROGER?
BALDUIN: YEAH, WE'RE GETTING ALONG. KAITO REALLY HELPED ME PUT THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE. POINTED OUT HOW IMPORTANT FIGHTING THE COVENANT REALLY IS.
KISHIMOTO: YES, CECILIA AND MEGAN TOLD ME THE SAME THING ABOUT HIM. BUT THEN, THAT MAKES SENSE, DOESN'T IT? HE WOULD KNOW HOW MUCH DESTRUCTIVE POWER THE COVENANT POSSESSES.
BALDUIN: YEAH, EXACTLY.
KISHIMOTO: IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU'D LIKE TO TALK ABOUT, BALDUIN?
[BALDUIN OPENS HIS MOUTH, BUT SUBSEQUENTLY CLOSES IT AND SHAKES HIS HEAD.]
KISHIMOTO: VERY WELL, THEN THAT'S ALL FOR TODAY. I WISH YOU LUCK.
PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATIONS, YEAR 1 (2541)
(TRANSCRIPT #38: EVALUATOR: SAKURA KISHIMOTO; SUBJECT: CONNOR-338)
[CONNOR ENTERS THE ROOM, SMILES, AND SITS DOWN]
CONNOR: HELLO MS. KISHIMTO.
KISHIMOTO: WHY HELLO CONNOR. HOW ARE YOU FEELING TODAY?
CONNOR: GOOD. WE WON THIS MORNING'S EXCERCISE AGAINST GOLD TEAM.
KISHIMOTO: I HEARD. YOU YOURSELF BROUGHT DOWN MASON IN A LONG RANGE SHOOTOUT, DIDN'T YOU? YOU MUST BE PROUD.
CONNOR: OH YEAH! HE WAS ON THE TALLEST ROCK RIDGE BUT THE WAY HE POSITIONED HIMSELF WAS SORT OF SILLY, CAUSE THERE WERE TREES ON THE OTHER SIDE THAT WERE ACTUALLY TALLER AND ROCKS BEHIND HIM THAT HE COULDN'T WATCH AT THE SAME TIME! THE TREE HAD SPIKY BRANCHES AND THOSE REALLY HURT SO THAT'S MAYBE WHY HE DIDN'T WANT TO USE THE TREE BUT I JUST BIT MY BACK TEETH TOGETHER AND HAD MELLISSA TAKE ALL THE OTHERS AROUND THE SIDE IN ONE OF THOSE FLANKING MANEUVER THINGS LASZLO TAUGHT US ABOUT THREE DAYS AGO AND I MISSED A COUPLE OF THE FIRST SHOTS AT MASON BUT HE WAS ALL CONFUSED BY MELLISSA BEHIND HIM IN THE ROCKS AND COULDN'T SEE ME IN THE TREE AND I TOTALLY GOT HIM!
[KISHIMOTO LAUGHS AND SMILES]
KISHIMOTO: YOU SOUND LIKE YOU'RE LEARNING A LOT, CONNOR.
CONNOR: IT'S NOT REALLY TOO HARD I GUESS. JACKSON AND AMBER NEEDED HELP WITH THE COMPASS COURSE LAST WEEK BUT THEY CAUGHT ON ONCE I STARTED IT. I WAS REALLY GLAD.
KISHIMOTO: WHY WERE YOU GLAD?
CONNOR: WELL I MEAN WHEN THEY WERE CONFUSED I FELT REALLY BAD FOR THEM AND KIND OF SICK IN MY TUMMY. I KNEW THEY COULD DO IT THOUGH. AMBER'S REALLY SMART AND JACKSON ALWAYS HAS FUNNY JOKES AND I TOTALLY DON'T SO I MEAN HE'S REALLY SMART TOO.
KISHIMTO: YOU REALLY LIKE YOUR TEAMMATES?
CONNOR: DEFINITELY. THEY ALWAYS LISTEN TO WHAT I'M SAYING AND THEY'RE NICE AND SMART AND THEY LOOK OUT FOR ME.
KISHIMTO: DO YOU LIKE BEING SQUAD LEADER? COLONEL STANDOFF MADE YOU LEADER IN ONE OF THE FIRST SELECTIONS.
CONNOR: YEAH I CAN WATCH OUT FOR THEM. IF SOMEONE HAS A GOOD IDEA I CAN MAKE EVERYONE BE QUIET AND LISTEN TO THEM. AND WHEN I'VE GOT GOOD IDEAS I CAN JUST DO THEM RIGHT AWAY.
KISHIMTO: YOU'RE VERY CONFIDENT CONNOR. YOU THINK YOU HAVE GOOD IDEAS?
[CONNOR SMILES]
CONNOR: PRETTY OFTEN. I THINK I'M GOOD AT THE LEADING STUFF. LASZLO SAYS I'M A NATURAL WITH THINGS LIKE "TACTICS" AND TELLS ME HE THINKS I'M GOING TO BE A GOOD SHOOTER. I MEAN, I THINK HE MIGHT THINK I'M BETTER THAN I REALLY AM BUT I FEEL LIKE I DO A GOOD JOB.
KISHIMOTO: IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU SO HAPPY. YOU WERE SHYER WHEN YOU FIRST CAME HERE.
CONNOR: I GUESS I HADN'T MET MY TEAM YET. THEY WERE REALLY NICE AND THEY LISTENED ABOUT HOME. IT HELPED A LOT.
KISHIMOTO: ARE YOU GLAD TO BE HERE?
[CONNOR'S SMILE FADES CAUTIOUSLY FOR A MOMENT, THEN RETURNS]
CONNOR: YEAH. I MEAN, IT'S EXCITING AND MY TEAM IS DOING REALLY GOOD. I THINK WE'RE GONNA BE RIGHT AT THE TOP NEXT YEAR. I MEAN, I KNOW IT'S GOING TO BE HARD BUT I HAVE A FEELING IT'S GOING TO BE GOOD.
[KISHIMOTO PATS CONNOR'S HAND, THEN MOTIONS TO THE DOOR]
KISHIMOTO: IT'S BEEN WONDERFUL TALKING WITH YOU CONNOR. YOU CAN GO.
PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATIONS, YEAR 1 (2541)
(TRANSCRIPT #41: EVALUATOR: SAKURA KISHIMOTO; SUBJECT: ROGER-341)
[ROGER ENTERS THE ROOM, AND TAKES A SEAT WITHOUT EVALUATOR'S CONSENT.]
KISHIMOTO: HELLO ROGER. I'VE HEARD NOTHING BUT POSITIVE THINGS SINCE OUR LAST SESSION. YOU'VE BEEN PROMOTED TO SQUAD LEADER BY COLONEL STANDOFF, YES? AND YOUR TEAM RANKED NUMBER ONE IN ACADEMICS AND ARE MATCHING THE TRAINING SCORE BENCHMARKS.
ROGER: IS THERE A POINT TO ALL OF THAT?
KISHIMOTO: WELL ROGER, I WAS TRYING TO SAY IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
ROGER: CAN'T REALLY SAY THE SAME.
KISHIMOTO: YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE ME?
[ROGER PUTS HIS FEET ON THE DESK IN FRONT OF HIM]
ROGER: WHY WOULD I?
KISHIMOTO: TRAINING CAN BE HARD, ROGER. IT CAN HELP TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT YOUR CHALLENGES. THAT WAY, YOU WORK THROUGH THEM TOGETHER INSTEAD OF BY YOURSELF.
ROGER: I DON'T NEED A SHRINK FOR THAT. MY TEAMMATES ARE THERE FOR ME.
[KISHIMOTO LEANS FORWARD, MAKING EYE CONTACT WITH ROGER. HE MAINTAINS IT.]
KISHIMOTO: YOU TRUST YOUR TEAMMATES, ROGER?
ROGER: A HELL OF A LOT MORE THAN I TRUST YOU.
KISHIMOTO: YOU DON'T TRUST ME, ROGER?
ROGER: WHY WOULD I? YOU'RE A SHRINK. YOU'RE TRYING TO GET IN MY HEAD, NOT HELP ME OUT. YOU'VE GOT FANCY WORDS AND INSPIRING SPEECHES. MICA PUNCHED THAT LOUDMOUTH JENNY IN THE MOUTH WHEN I NEEDED HER. DON'T THINK YOU WOULD HAVE.
[KISHIMOTO MOMENTARILY TRIES TO BREAK EYE CONTACT. ROGER FOLLOWS HER GAZE.]
KISHIMOTO: I'M CONCERNED ABOUT THE PATTERN OF VIOLENT BEHAVIOR YOU'VE EXHIBITED, ROGER. WE'VE ALREADY DISCUSSED THE WAY YOU IMMEDIATELY RESORTED TO VIOLENCE ON THE FIRST DAY. CAPTAIN KATONA INFORMS ME YOU'VE BEEN INVOLVED IN TWO FURTHER ALTERCATIONS SINCE OUR LAST SESSIONS. THERE ARE WAYS TO SOLVE PROBLEMS WITHOUT VIOLENCE, ROGER.
ROGER: WHICH IS WHY YOU ASSHOLES ABDUCTED A BUNCH OF US KIDS TO FIGHT A WAR FOR YOU, RIGHT?
KISHIMOTO: YOU WERE CHOSEN TO FIGHT THE COVENANT BECAUSE WE NEED YOU, ROGER. AND THERE'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN KILLING COVENANT AND HURTING YOUR FRIENDS.
ROGER: I'VE NEVER HURT MY FRIENDS.
KISHIMOTO: NOW ROGER, YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU LYING TO ME. CAPTAIN KATONA TELLS ME YOU HIT CANDIDATE BALDUIN THREE DAYS AGO.
ROGER: BALDUIN ISN'T MY FRIEND. MICA IS. JAMES IS. MAGGIE IS. JACOB IS.
KISHIMOTO: BUT THE OTHER CANDIDATES ARE YOUR FELLOW SOLDIERS. YOUR BROTHERS AND SISTERS IN ARMS. REMEMBER? CAPTAIN KATONA HAD A TALK WITH YOUR CLASS TWO MONTHS AGO. I KNOW YOU RESPECT CAPTAIN KATONA.
ROGER: YEAH, I DO. CAUSE HE'S LOOKING OUT FOR MY TEAM. DOESN'T MEAN I BELIEVE HIM.
KISHIMOTO: YOU SEEM TO BELIEVE HIM ABOUT THE IMPORTANCE OF YOUR TRAINING, THOUGH. THE CAPTAIN TELLS ME YOU'VE BEEN THROWING YOURSELF INTO IT.
ROGER: THAT'S BECAUSE TRAINING IS ACTUALLY IMPORTANT.
KISHIMOTO: WHY DO YOU THINK SO, ROGER?
ROGER: BECAUSE I NEED IT TO KILL COVENANT. WHAT, TOO STUPID TO FIGURE THAT OUT?
KISHIMOTO: NAME CALLING ISN'T NICE ROGER. AND WHY DO YOU WANT TO KILL COVENANT, ROGER? DIDN'T YOU SAY YOU WERE ANGRY AT BEING CHOSEN?
ROGER: ANGRY AT BEING ABDUCTED. I'M EIGHT, NOT AN IDIOT. I LOOKED UP THE WORD IN THE DICTIONARY. YOU HAD PEOPLE COME AND TAKE ME OUT OF MY BED.
[KISHIMOTO SHIFTS UNEASILY.]
KISHIMOTO: ROGER, I KNOW YOU'RE ONLY SEVEN.
ROGER: OH, SO YOU ARE PAYING ATTENTION. AND HERE I THOUGHT YOU REALLY MIGHT BE COMPLETELY STUPID.
KISHIMOTO: I'D LIKE YOU TO ANSWER MY ORIGINAL QUESTION, ROGER. WHY DO YOU WANT TO KILL COVENANT IF YOU'RE ANGRY ABOUT...THE WAY YOU ENDED UP HERE?
ROGER: CAUSE IF I DON'T KILL THEM, THEY'LL PROBABLY KILL ME AND MY TEAM EVENTUALLY.
KISHIMOTO: THAT'S IT?
ROGER: PRETTY MUCH.
KISHIMOTO: WHAT IF THEY WERE TRYING TO GLASS MIRIDEM? WOULDN'T YOU WANT TO STOP THEM?
ROGER: AM I ON MIRIDEM? OR MY TEAMMATES?
KISHIMOTO: WELL, NO––
ROGER: THEN IT'S A STUPID QUESTION.
[KISHIMOTO OPENS HER MOUTH TO SPEAK, BUT STOPS WHEN ROGER MEETS HER EYE AGAIN. SHE OPENS THE DOOR.]
KISHIMOTO: YOU'RE DISMISSED, ROGER.
ROGER: I THOUGHT SO.
PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATIONS, YEAR 1 (2541)
(TRANSCRIPT #41: EVALUATOR: SAKURA KISHIMOTO; SUBJECT: RACHEL-341)
[RACHEL ENTERS THE ROOM AND SITS DOWN AT THE EVALUATOR'S PROMPTING.]
KISHIMOTO: HELLO, RACHEL. HOW ARE YOU DOING?
RACHEL: GOOD, I GUESS.
[RACHEL LOOKS AWAY FROM KISHIMOTO AND RETRIEVES A LIGHTER FROM HER POCKET, STARTING TO FLICK IT ON AND OFF.]
KISHIMOTO: ERR, RACHEL, WOULD YOU PLEASE PUT THAT AWAY?
RACHEL: WHY? IS IT DISTRACTING YOU?
[RACHEL STARES AT KISHIMOTO. KISHIMOTO SEEMS TO INVOLUNTARY FALL BACK INTO HER CHAIR.]
KISHIMOTO: LOOK, RACHEL, IF YOU KEEP DOING THAT I MIGHT HAVE TO CALL THE DIs OUTSIDE TO TAKE IT FROM YOU.
RACHEL: SO WHAT? I CAN ALWAYS TAKE ANOTHER ONE LATER.
[KISHIMOTO MOVES UNEASILY IN HER SEAT.]
KISHIMOTO: RACHEL, IT'S NOT NICE TO TAKE OTHER PEOPLE'S THINGS. NOW, WOULD YOU PLEASE PUT THAT AWAY? OTHERWISE, I WILL HAVE TO FILE A REPORT OF THIS TO CAPTAIN KATONA.
[RACHEL ROLLS HER EYES, SIGHS FRUSTRATEDLY, AND PUTS THE LIGHTER BACK IN HER POCKET.]
KISHIMOTO: THANK YOU, RACHEL. THEN LET US CONTINUE. DO YOU LIKE IT HERE?
RACHEL: BEATS BEING GLASSED. DO YOU?
KISHIMOTO: WHAT?
RACHEL: DO YOU LIKE IT HERE?
KISHIMOTO: I...I'M AFRAID THAT'S NOT RELEVANT RIGHT NOW.
RACHEL: WHAT? YOU'RE ASKING ME QUESTIONS. WHY CAN'T I ASK YOU? DO YOU THINK YOU'RE BETTER THAN ME? IS THAT IT?
[RACHEL'S HAND SUBTLY GLIDES TOWARDS HER POCKET.]
KISHIMOTO: WHAT!? I...NO, I DON'T THINK...THAT IS TO SAY...
[KISHIMOTO STARTS SWEATING.]
RACHEL: NEVER MIND. I THINK I KNOW THE ANSWER.
[KISHIMOTO STARTS TO LOOK PANICKED.]
RACHEL: WE WALKED PAST THE MESS HALL ONCE. I SAW YOU SAT BY A TABLE ALL BY YOURSELF, QUIETLY EATING YOUR MEAL.
[KISHIMOTO SHIFTS AROUND UNCOMFORTABLY.]
KISHIMOTO: I, AH, APPRECIATE YOUR CONCERN, RACHEL. BUT THIS DISCUSSION IS ABOUT YOU. ARE...ARE YOU MAKING ANY FRIENDS?
RACHEL: MORE THAN YOU.
[KISHIMOTO LOOKS AWAY, BREATHING HEAVILY.]
RACHEL: YOU HATE IT HERE, DON'T YOU DOC? NOT MAKING FRIENDS IN A STRANGE PLACE, FAR AWAY FROM YOUR HUSBAND.
[RACHEL INDICATES KISHIMOTO'S LEFT HAND, MORE SPECIFICALLY THE GOLDEN RING ON HER RING FINGER. SHE THEN NONCHALANTLY LOOKS AWAY AND PICKS UP HER LIGHTER AGAIN. KISHIMOTO FRANTICALLY PUSHES A BUTTON ON HER DESK.]
KISHIMOTO: SE...SECURITY! PLEASE, TAKE HER OUT.
[TWO DIs ENTER. ONE GRABS HOLD OF THE LIGHTER, WHILE THE OTHER NUDGES RACHEL TOWARDS THE DOOR. BEFORE THEY STEP OUT OF THE ROOM, RACHEL'S HAND CAN BE SEEN GRABBING THE LIGHTER BACK FROM THE DI'S POCKET.]
PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATIONS, YEAR 1 (2541)
(TRANSCRIPT #63: EVALUATOR: OMID BASHIR; SUBJECT: MATHEW-363)
[MATHEW ENTERS THE ROOM AND SITS DOWN AT THE EVALUATOR'S PROMPTING]
BASHIR: HELLO, MATHEW. I DON'T BELIEVE WE'VE MET. I'M DOCTOR BASHIR.
MATHEW: WHERE'S MS. KISHIMOTO?
BASHIR: I HAD TO REPLACE HER, MATHEW. I'M SURE SHE'D BE TOUCHED YOU REMEMBERED HER, THOUGH.
[MATHEW SMILES, BUT LOOKS UNEASY]
BASHIR: IS SOMETHING WRONG, MATT? DO YOU MIND IF I CALL YOU MATT?
MATHEW: I GUESS NOT. ANNA CALLS ME MATT.
BASHIR: IS SHE THE ONLY ONE?
MATHEW: UH––HUH. NO ONE EXCEPT MY MOM CALLED ME MATT.
BASHIR: YOU STILL REMEMBER YOUR MOM, MATT? DO YOU MISS HER?
MATHEW: YEAH. BUT I LIKE MY TEAM. THEY'E REALLY NICE.
BASHIR: AND ANNA?
MATHEW: SHE'S THE NICEST, I GUESS. CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING DIFFERENT? I DON'T THINK SHE'D WANT ME TALKING ABOUT HER IF SHE CAN'T HEAR.
BASHIR: OF COURSE MATHEW. CAN I ASK YOU ABOUT YOUR LESSON WITH COLONEL STANDOFF TWO WEEKS AGO? WHERE HE SHOWED YOU THE VIDEOS OF THE COVENANT ATTACKS? HOW DID THAT MAKE YOU FEEL?
[MATHEW FURROWS HIS BROW, THINKING.]
MATHEW: IT'S WEIRD. YOU'LL THINK I'M A WEIRDO.
BASHIR: OF COURSE NOT MATHEW. YOU CAN TELL ME.
MATHEW: UMM...I MEAN SAD FOR ALL THOSE PEOPLE. BUT...HAPPY SORT OF.
BASHIR: HAPPY?
MATHEW: LIKE WHEN I FINISH A TEST. OR WHEN MY WHOLE TEAM GETS THROUGH THE OBSTACLE COURSE SAFE.
BASHIR: YOU FEEL RELIEVED?
MATHEW: I GUESS SO. I DIDN'T REALLY KNOW WHY WE WERE TRAINING BEFORE. IT BUGGED ME, MR. BASHIR. IT WAS A SECRET. BUT NOW I KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE. I DON'T MISS MY MOM AS MUCH ANYMORE.
BASHIR: THAT'S A VERY GROWN UP WAY OF LOOKING AT THINGS, MATHEW. CAPTAIN KATONA WOULD BE PROUD OF YOU.
[MATHEW SMILES]
MATHEW: REALLY?
BASHIR: I'M SURE. HE MADE YOU SQUAD LEADER, MATHEW. HE THINKS HIGHLY OF YOU.
MATHEW: BUT HE ALMOST MADE JENNY LEADER.
BASHIR: YOU WERE JUST BOTH VERY GOOD. IT WAS A HARD DECISION.
MATHEW: BUT––
BASHIR: MATHEW, CAPTAIN KATONA TELLS ME YOU CAN BE STUBBORN. THAT'S NOT NECESSARILY A BAD THING. I KNOW HE MADE YOU LEADER PARTLY BECAUSE YOU NEVER GIVE UP. BUT THIS IS A SILLY THING TO BE STUBBORN ABOUT, ISN'T IT?
MATHEW: I GUESS.
BASHIR: YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT JENNIFER BEHIND HER BACK, DON'T YOU?
MATHEW: SHE'D BE ANGRY.
[BASHIR SMILES]
BASHIR: ON THAT, MATHEW, I THINK WE CAN AGREE. HAVE A NICE DAY.
AN: First of all, right off the bat, I'd like to thank my fellow Halo Fanon user Matt––256 for all his help discussing character development, world building the ARES project with me, helping with story ideas, and contributing so much material. He helped give and refine my ideas for a dozen or more characters, and I miss writing with him. A few small segments of our cooperative work is used here (with permission), not because I want to pass it off as my own, but because it adds crucial context to the overarching narrative. Not every chapter I post will contain his material, and most of them contain none, but I always want to give credit where it is due. In this, he contributed the Interviews with Balduin and Rachel, and I think they definitely add to the larger whole.
If you've made it this far, out of curiosity or enjoyment or sheer boredom, you'll be forgiven for wondering what exactly that larger whole is. I have a hard time putting it into words, exactly, because the plot for this series of short stories, journal entries, dialogues, messages, and audio logs is not your average middle––beginning––end, nor can it always be considered part of the same story. Collected here is several years worth of writing done over at Halo Fanon, arrayed chronologically, which includes stories that are often self––contained with their own cast of characters, but which also frequently bleed over and effect other works, sometimes in immediately obvious ways, sometimes over a longer period. I am sure there will be plenty of people who don't like it, and am aware that there may be no one who does. But that's a risk worth taking, I'd imagine. So, if it piques your interest, please read the other entries, critique them, and help me improve the overall whole. There's significantly more to come, and I think some of it is pretty good.