Title: Liar Liar Pants on Fire
By: orenjii-smile
Disclaimer: Not mine, and never will be. ): All characters belong to Masashi Kishimoto.
Pairings: Naruto x Ino is the main pairing.
Warnings: PG-13, Language, My retarded jokes ;D
Genres: Comedy, Romance, Drama, Action
Summary: "You lied to me. And now, I'm going to set your pants on fire." Despite the chaos of highschool love triangles, stuffed bras and perverted remarks by Ino, Naruto still doesn't get the girl in the end. Instead, he gets someone even better. (Naruto x Ino)
AUTHORS NOTE:
I am currently trying a new style of writing.
And a very short glossary, just in case:
Ojii-san – Used to address an elderly man
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00. PR0L0GUE;
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Once upon an all too perky (and early) Monday morning (the birds were at it, chirping and all), Uzumaki Naruto (age 17, really good looking—got the whole FOB English down 'n all, and so totally not single except for the fact that his significant other didn't know she was his significant other, yet) was riding the bus, something he rarely did since he was rich and wealthy and all that wonderful sparkly jazz that comes along with lots of green and fancy credit cards, to (hell / prison / place where life is sucked out of you / etc.) school.
(He had actually gone up to the bus driver and asked him if he accepted Master Card or Visa. Needless to say, the driver had something to laugh about for the rest of the day. Maybe share with his buddies over the little intercom thingies.)
Normally, a day like this would have just been forgotten and buried under the dust of the many days that would soon follow. Naruto realized early on that life was just like an alarm clock (preferably a Fox-shaped one): wash, lather, rinse, and then repeat the entire damned process again when the hands strike 6:30am, until one day you realize that your time has run out (and then you piss and moan and regret all things you have done and then piss and moan some more and regret all the things you haven't).
However, like how most stories start, this wasn't a normal day. It could've been if he had woken up just five minutes earlier and begged for a ride to school on his dad's limo or something. Argh, stupid alarm clocks and their tendency to break when thrown against the wall. His limo just had to break down in front of the freaking bus stop. It was times like these when he regretted getting that fucking (sweet) Mercedes for his sixteenth birthday. What was the point if he didn't have a damned license? How was he supposed to show off his super sweet ride? Damn it all.
Anyway.
He should've seen it coming. He really should have. It must've been because he didn't go to church enough (but there had been this embarrassing incident when he was eight involving his bible and Lee's Christening robes and lots of fire and then lots of yelling in the middle of the church, at him, courtesy of his step-mother), or because he had those kind of web sites on his computer, saved in his favourites file, under the folder name "Konohamaru's Favourite Dress up Games" (this was all uncle Jiraiya's bad influence, of course) or maybe because he had cut holes in all of Tsunade's bras again. He didn't know, he wasn't a Ninja or Moses or Jesus or whoever the damn hell could read minds.
"Yah, Ojii-san if you're going to try to peek down my blouse, at least be less obvious about it." Some lady with a fairly well endowed chest area yelled at the man standing in front of her (Naruto wanted to smack her silly for speaking so bloody loudly in the friggen morning). The girl had a nice body, he had to admit. Bonus points for the long hair. Too bad she lacked an ass. A girl was just not a girl without a nice hot juicy ass. (For Example of Nice Butt, See: Tsunade -- Paragraph Six)
However, if Naruto had known how this girl would affect his life later on, he would've stopped ogling her right at that moment and gotten off at the next stop. But he didn't. And it led to...THAT INCIDENT.
Okay fine, it wasn't that bad.
But that was the day he'd met Yamnaka Ino.
Yes, on the freakin' (germ-infested, disgusting, stuffy) bus.
His future best friend, drinking buddy, arch nemesis, booty call, partner in crime and all that lovely jazz.
Cheers to that.
…
(He should've taken a cab.)
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Thank you for reading everyone!
I'm trying a new style of writing, so I hope everyone liked it!
I really appreciate reviews!
Comments keep me alive. ;D