-1My challenge was to write a Hellsing/Hamtaro crossover, using Columbus Day as a plot device. if you can't tell, all hamsters are human in this story. Since they are human, I thought it unlikely they would have owners, so I simply made them part of their ex-owner's family. I have never seen Hamtaro before, so I caught the tail end of it on YouTube and read up a bit on them on their official website, and sort of winged it from there. So sorry if their OOC. This will be AndersonxAlucard and probably JinglexHamtaro. Possibly Maxwell(the hamster)xDexter. There will definitely be loss of innocence (NOT like that you pervs.) and general stupidness. Hell, it's a Hellsing/Hamtaro crossover, it's bound to be a little stupid. Probably will take this down later for revisions since I didn't do a rough draft, just typed it up. Enjoy!

I - Ah (And any variation, ie. I'm, I'll, etc.)
And - An'
You - Ye
Your - Yer
What - Whit
To - Teh

Anderson rested his feet on his desk, leaning back in his chair. The priest was currently bored as all hell. In order to appear like they were doing something, the Knights of Columbus had declared Columbus Day an official holiday, on which there would be no work. To work on this day would be to commit heresy. To Anderson, that meant no trying to kill that heathen, Alucard. Which meant boredom. Horrible, mind-numbing boredom. "Father Anderson?" A soft voice sounded from the doorway, startling Anderson, causing him to fall backwards in his chair. The voice giggled and Anderson quickly righted himself, and turned to face a small child. "Randy? Whit is it that ye want, my child?"

"One of the nuns told me someone had come all the way to the Vatican to see you." Anderson nodded, letting the orphan lead him. Whoever it was, he was bound to be more interesting than just sitting around.

Hamtaro was sitting on the couch, munching on sunflower seeds, and watching T.V. His sister, Laura, was gone for the day, out on a school fieldtrip. He was just about to go play some video games, when there was a knock on the door. He answered it to see Jingle, Maxwell, and Dexter. "Hey, what's up?" Hamtaro said, then frowned a bit when he noticed something different about Jingle. He was at least 5'6". The last time Hamtaro had seen Jingle, he had been 5'1 ½". Another one of his friends had had a growth spurt. "What is the matter, Hamtaro?" Dexter asked, noticing the frown. "Jingle is taller than me now," Hamtaro confessed, "that makes all my friends." Maxwell shook his head, "No, what about Bijou and Penelope, they're both shorter than you." Hamtaro sighed, "They don't count, they are younger than us."

"Well, how about we take a walk in the woods? That always cheers you up." Dexter said. "Okay." Hamtaro agreed and grabbed his coat before leaving. It was cold days like these that made him wish he had fur.

Anderson stood, tense, waiting for his visitor to make his move. He had sent Randy on his way and commenced with growling at the man who had come to see him. "Alucard." Anderson ground out the beast's name. "Father," Alucard said, completely at ease. "Whit are ye doin' here? Whit do ye want?" Alucard smiled, "I heard you weren't supposed to work today." Anderson just growled. "Aw, what's the matter, Paladin? Not allowed to play?"

"Shut up, ye inhooman monster. Ah'll kill ye, ah will." Alucard just laughed. "Well, priest, I just learned a new trick." Anderson raised an eyebrow, "Oh, an' whit's that?" Alucard shrugged, "I don't know what it does, but it couldn't hurt to try."

"Ye demon! Yer going teh git us both killed with yer damned black magic!" Alucard shrugged and executed his "new trick," at first, it seemed like nothing happened, but then the sky tore open.

Hamtaro skipped happily with his friends. He really did love the forest, it was so beautiful, with it's trees, sun shining through the dark green leaves, and happy little woodland creatures scurrying through the forest. He was so transfixed by the beauty, that he stopped watching where he was going and tripped over a tree root. "Gah!" He shouted out, dreading the eventual impact. The impact never came. Instead, warm arms wrapped around him, keeping him from hitting the ground. Hamtaro was confused for a minute or two, before he looked up to see Jingle looking down at him, holding him. Hamtaro blushed, he had had a crush on his friend for so long, he just never had the guts to tell him. "Uh, Jingle?" Jingle smiled at him, "Yes, Hamtaro?"

"I… uh… I-" Hamtaro never got the chance to finish, for just then, the sky opened up and swallowed them.

Anderson watched the sky tear open, "Aw, look at whit ye did, ye damned beast! Now ye've killed us all!"

"Me? What about you?!" Anderson just growled. "Oh, shut up. Yer just saying that to be anal."

"….. True." Anderson rolled his eyes. Funny, he didn't seem to be dead yet. He squinted at the hole in the sky. Was it just him or was… his focus was interrupted when Alucard threw his arm around him, pulling the priest closer to himself. "Well, isn't this a beautiful way to die? At the hands of my black magic, with my favorite arch enemy, and no police girl in sight." Anderson tried to push the heathen off of him, but Alucard was strong, and part of Anderson's attention was focused elsewhere. "Alucard?"

"Yes, dear priest?" Anderson fought back a snarl. "Is it just me, or is there somethin' falling out of that hole?"

"Hmmm?" Alucard responded lazily, directing his eyes upward. "Yes, I believe there is, perhaps two Dark Angels, come to deliver us to death." Anderson snorted in disbelief, "If that was true, there would only be one angel. Angels don't deliver infidels."

"True, you've sinned to much to go to heaven, Father."

"……. Ah hate ye." By the time their bantering was finished, four small teens hit the ground. "Ouch," They groaned. Anderson finally managed to push a very amused Alucard off of him and helped up the children. "Aw, you do have a sensitive side." Alucard mused. "Shut up, ye vampire." Anderson snapped, before turning back to the children, "Are ye all alright?" A boy with light carrot colored hair nodded, "Yeah, I think so."

"Good," Anderson smiled. A boy wearing glasses approached him, "Excuse me, uhh," The boy noticed Anderson's collar, "Father, but where might we be?" Alucard held back his laughter. He found it highly funny that a child should refer to Anderson as "Father." Anderson jabbed Alucard in the ribs with his elbow. Alucard glared daggers at him, he wouldn't have cared so much, if he hadn't just found out just exactly where Anderson kept those accursed bayonets of his. Alucard rubbed his wounds tenderly. "Yer at the Vatican, my child." Anderson said, in response to the bespectacled teen's question. Alucard was tempted to make a gagging motion, complete with sound effects, in response to this new, tender Anderson, but his side really hurt. So instead, he settled for rolling his eyes. "Alucard, ah think we are finished here, if ye would excuse me, ah have some business teh attend teh. Come on, children, we'll get this straightened out. Just come with me."

Then next thing Hamtaro and his friends knew, they were hurtling towards the ground at top speed. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" They yelled. A split second before they hit the ground, they stopped dead, as if something was attached to them, keeping them from hitting, then that something snapped and they fell the last few feet to the ground. "Ouch," They groaned. Hamtaro looked up to see two men. The blonde was trying to pry the other man off of him, which was strange. Once the man got himself free, he walked over to them, and offered each of them a hand. Hamtaro hesitated before taking it. There was something about the man, both of the men, that frightened him. It wasn't just that they looked so… so wild, but there was something else about them, something… dark. Hamtaro righted himself after being helped up. "Aw, you do have a sensitive side." The man in red a cloak said. The blonde, who (by the look of his garb) was a priest, responded with, "Shut up, ye vampire." Hamtaro blinked, confused. Vampire? Surely the priest was not serious. "Are ye all alright?" The priest asked. Hamtaro nodded, "Yeah, I think so." He said.

"Good." Dexter next asked the man where they were, and after squabbling with the other male a bit, he answered that they were at the Vatican. The Vatican? Hamtaro thought, thunderstruck, the Vatican is in Rome. How did we get all the way out here? What was that hole? Why is everything here so unfamiliar looking? There is something evil about this place, something that didn't exist back home. Hamtaro's thoughtswere cut short when the priest spoke again. "Alucard, ah think we are finished here, if ye would excuse me, ah have some business teh attend teh. Come on, children, we'll get this straightened out. Just come with me." Hamtaro and the gang followed.