Mario Fails
A Mario Kart Story
Thank you Bookwormvideogamer13 for reviewing my last story, Happy Holidays again, you are very much appreciated. Also very special thanks to hypherlutz21, whom I forgot to give thanks to last time. I also give thanks to Daisyfan24 for reviewing too. Also to PnFfan101 for favoriting. This story is dedicated to the 4 of you. Please R&R.
Princess Daisy had been invited to race against her friends in a brand new racing tournament, the 7th of its kind.
Now she is looking back at this one time, filled with everlasting fun and joy, but also misfortune. At this moment she is preparing for the 8th of its kind. She has been asked to do an article by KMush (K for kingdom) Magazines. Here is her story. (Law and Order "duhdun goes off)
Princess Peach invited some of her closest friends, enemies, and representatives from the Mushroom Kingdom, Sarasaland, the Darklands, and other kingdoms. The Mushroom Kingdom was by far the most powerful, and as such, the majority of races are to be in the kingdom. Some, such as Bowser's Castle, or Daisy Hills (named after me, of course),are in other kingdoms, and others, like Rosalina's Ice World or Rainbow Road are OUT OF THIS WORLD! But really, they are.
This is the easiest way to have fun, well one of the easiest. I get to hang out with my friends and beat the snot out of my enemies. Recently I went back home to Sarasaland on a desperate crisis. This is why I am no longer unnaturally (well for me) pale. The crisis is long gone, but I'm not sure if I'll return to the MK, or stay in my own country. It's not like I do much there anyway. And I'll get to see my boyfriend, Luigi. We've been dating since Christmastime and our relationship is very smooth. Me, I'm preparing for the 1st race of the Mushroom Cup. Wish me luck!
3- Prepare
2- Start your engine
1-Ready for it
Green light- Start
I know it's gonna be a long, hard race when I start in 8th (piss-poor lottery if ya ask me), got a turbo boost, and ended up in 7th. As I look around and into my mirror, I realize the only person I'm in front of is the Honey Queen. Why would Peach invite her? I didn't even know they met, nonetheless were friends. Ahead of me lie Bowser, Koopa, Lakitu, Peach, Luigi, and Rosalina. People think we don't like each other, but we're great friends. She doesn't have a crush on Luigi, she had one, but now she doesn't. I think she likes, well, maybe, possibly, nah, I just don't think anyone has come around that would 'click' with her. She'll find love one day, I'm sure. Anyway…
A right turn was coming up, I drifted around it professionally, passing Bowser on the boost, grabbing an item box, and nearing Lakitu, who had fallen behind Koopa. In my mind I was thinking, 2 down 5 to go' I have to say, though, for me passing people and throwing items aren't the most enjoyable part of the race.
Lap 2:
The suspense that follows after I grab an item, wondering what I'll get is a feeling I'll never forget. Is it a star? A mushroom, fire flower, blooper, Lucky 7, or just a plain old banana? I don't know until my wheel of racing fortune stops on something.
Luck seemed as though it was on my side when I got a Lucky 7. I had to wait for just the right time. 1st I threw my banana barely missing Lakitu to spin. "Dang it," I mumbled under my breath. Little did I know my next few items would be a crucial turning point in the race, in favor of me.
Next I used my blooper, creating confusion around the racers. Then, I threw my bomb into the center of a crowd consisting of Koopa, Lakitu, and Peach. I had a smirk on my face as I watched the chaos unfold.
Peach, being ever so smart, saw this coming, used her mushroom, and zipped by Luigi, putting herself in second, until he threw a red shell at her, knocking her back into the path of the bomb, and behind Koopa. Koopa, with an expertly aimed green shell, knocked Luigi into the path. Koopa and Luigi didn't realize that, by being aggressive, were putting themselves in harm's way, until it was too late. But, through the explosion, 2 remain.
Man, I thought, this is sweet. I took out 4 of my fiercest competitors at one time. Of course, things are not always what they seem, as I learned. Lakitu, whom I had underestimated, in fact overlooked, had used a star. "You idiot," I hissed at myself. "Arrrrrgh."
Of course, my current situation was not helped by the nearby announcer. "It appears Princess Daisy of Sarasaland, who as you all know is Princess Peach's best friend, has apparently not expected this turn of events." "That's right Bob, it appears she is angry at herself and rightfully so. She should have seen this coming." "Correctemungo, Tom, we will now go to Victoria for more information."
"Now racing fans, you may question how Princess Daisy may know about the star Lakitu had. Well to answer that very question I am standing here with world- famous rescuer, racer, tennis player, party thrower, doctor and senior advice consultant for Princess Peach, Mario." (Meanwhile, television sets are having difficulty showing all those talents on screen.) "Mr. Mario, in addition to the talents I have told, you have many, many more, is this correct?"
"Yes Ms. Victoria. In addition I am a world-famous golfer, soccer player, basketball player, negotiator, peacekeeper, volleyball player, and I'm excellent at dodgeball, among others. So what was this question of yours?"
"Well as we all know, you are a highly respected player in this sporting event; you know everything about these courses, but more importantly, the cars. So tell me, how do you know who holds what items?"
"Well, as you know each and every car is tailored to the racer's wants and needs, especially this season. Well, inside every car is a high-tech monitor which shows the ins and outs of every course, as well as where the racers are at any given moment. On the bottom-left half, a leaderboard shows who is in 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc., and what items they have. The only flaw is that items will not be shown if outside the car. So you may not know if a rival is packing an extra shell or 2, making the game a whole lot more fun."
"Well here you have it from the world-famous Mario and me, Victoria from the MRA (Mushroom Racing Association), now to our sponsors."
I was shocked at the turn of events, but I am gonna press on, come in 1st and win the trophy. I was determined to win, and nobody, not one person, was going to stop me. Sooo… I had 4 items left; a mushroom, a green shell, a red shell, and a star. I used my mushroom to pass Peach, Luigi, and Koopa, putting myself in a solid 3rd. A solid 3rd place was enough to claim 2nd place, get a medal, and be accepted into the finals. But, that wasn't good enough, not for me. I had to come in 1st. Maybe this was the attitude that got me into this mess. But if worst came, I could still get the bronze or silver. Even coming in 7th, I would have 3rd for sure, but if I came in 8th, I'd come in 4th overall, narrowly missing money, a medal, and a top spot. Heck, even if I came in 3rd overall, there was no way to get a top spot. So I continued on believing nothing was gonna stop me from 1st; sure I was cocky, but I was determined.
Soon, as I rounded the corner, I saw Lakitu, who had used all of his star power. Me, well, I hadn't noticed the banana behind he was holding behind himself, I was too busy making sure he didn't have one in his car. BIG mistake. I meant to throw the red shell, but used the green shell. That would be good, heck the red shell wouldn't be wasted, but the shell bounced off a wall, then another, then another, and then it hit me. How wonderful. (Yes that was sarcasm, and really obvious.) "Now I have to make up lost time, pass 2 people, stay ahead of Luigi (who was catching up) and…," my speech turned into an incoherent mumble that even I couldn't fully understand… Anyway I was just mad.
To regain my speed quickly I used my star. I cut through grass, dirt, mud, and enemies to cross the shortest distance in the shortest time. Heck, I even got a mushroom from a goomba. Now the only item I had left was a red shell. If I use it now, it'll surely crash into a banana; just then, a mischievous thought crept into my head. If I use my shell now, I don't know where it'll hit, if it even does. But, if I use it in the air then I can take him out, knocking him waaaaaaaaay behind me. He won't even be a threat. But if he has another item, I'm screwed. Well on the bright side, I'll have another item soon. Hopefully… I've missed every box since the Lucky 7.
Lucky for me, I did get it. Yes, I thought, I am awesome. And lucky! Not only did I get an item, but I got triple red shells. As I was doing the happy dance in my head, something caught my attention; Aww crap, he got three bananas. Really? I won't have any extra shells to throw at Rose. Just then I heard a blue shell whiz by. Awesome! Lady luck is on my side, it seems, so I'm just gonna take advantage of this opportunity and drive on by… shoot myself into 1st.
So I threw red shell #1, which hit a banana, as did 2 and 3. But on 3 someone (aka Rosalina) fell behind and my stupid shell hit her. Shouting "I'm sorry," as I passed her I grumbled, "Stupid red shell." But being the Mary Sue as I have so far this race, I mean seriously….. Well at least I'm lucky, unlike some people (aka people that got blown up by me) or others (Rosalina). Anyways, being the Mary Sue that I've been so far this race, Lakitu cut a corner too tight and suddenly, I was in 1st. It was awesome, so awesome, I felt like telling the world how happy I was.
Meanwhile…
"Daisy is pulling ahead. Pulling, pulling, yep she's ahead! This is a miracle! The 1st time anyone who started an 8th came in 1st, heck, even 1st overall. Well Bob I mean this is the All-Cup Tour (Mushroom Cup course), but still. It has never been this close!"
"Well Tom, this was an extreme set of lucky events for Princess Daisy of Sarasaland. First, she got a LUCKY (emphasis on the word 'lucky) 7, blew up the people in front of her, has only been hit once."
"And that was her own item Tom," Victoria started. "Also, she got triple red shells, and now she has 4 bananas, 1 behind her. She is unstoppable!"
And indeed I was. I wasn't hit for the rest of the second lap and the whole of the 3rd… so far. The only substantial change was Rosalina's movement into 2nd. But that didn't startle me; I was way in 1st, nothing could hurt me, or so I thought. Suddenly a blue shell hit me from the side, knocking me into the grass. I could've recovered, but lightning hit me. By the time I recovered, there was no possible way to come in 1st. Rosalina was right beside me and going faster than me. "Stupid acceleration," I grumble to no one in particular. Then, as I got back onto the track, a Bullet Bill hit me, knocking me back into the grass. I saw my rankings slowly drop, and before I knew it I had come in 8th. No money, no medal, no place in the top spot during the finals, heck, I didn't even get top race in the finals. "GOD DA-"
"Daisy," the interviewer interrupted. "This is a magazine, kids read it."
"So?"
"No cussing! Rated K Daisy, rated K." (Maybe he broke the 4th wall maybe he didn't, but rumor has it, if you count how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, you will know. You will just know…)
Anyway I was furious. At least I got to watch the finals. By the way, Lakitu won.
I came up with this idea was I was mad at Mario Kart for doing this exact thing to me. Argh, I was so mad. CPUs are cheaters that only go after player 1. Has anyone else noticed that? By the way, Victoria, Bob, and Tom are Toads and I just made them up as space fillers/ announcers. Maybe OC's are better than I thought… They'll have a short part in every Mario Kart I do, because what a kart race without announcers? A no-cart race! Haha, they should put that on the back of a popsicle stick. Thanks for reading! Tell me if you want me to continue with a different oneshot, but more fails. Please Review!