AUTHORS COMMENTS

I've been watching re-runs of Friends lately, and thought it'd be fun to write
something Mondler. It was either that or a Chandler/Joey slash, I might get
back to that one later on. :) And oh, English is not my native language so if
I made any grammatical or spelling mistakes I apologise in advance.

DISCLAIMER

I don't own any of these characters, they belong to the NBC and the actors
portraying them. No money is made from this and yada yada. If you want to
somehow punish me for using them, feel free to send Matthew Perry to do the
punishing.

STORY COMMENTS

This is a Chandler POV story, set in the middle of the scene on the plane in ep 5x01.

After Joey finished his My Giant-rant, he started to harass some kid with his
complaints about being a lousy actor which led to that the cabin staff made
us swich seats – they said that Mr. Tribbiani couldn't sit next to anyone but
somebody he actually knew. So, we ended up on one single row, Joey by the
window, me in the middle and Monica by the aisle. And now, we're all settled.

Being exhausted from staying up all night taking care of Ross, I soon drift off
to sleep.

I have the weirdest dream: I'm in a cave, which oddly enough feels warm,
tight and snug. Soft. Nice. Pleasurable. I'm slowly walking forward, with a
tingling sensation in my body. It's nice in here, although pretty dark.

I'm comfortable. Walking forward. Comfortable. Very comfortable.

I'm looking for a place to lay down, I want to stay here forever. My eyes are
trying to adjust to the darkness, when all of a sudden I hear a growl. It's
pretty loud, and it's getting closer. I look around, trying to identify the sound.
I suppose it's an animal of some kind. Maybe a grizzly? Mhm, a grizzly has fur.
Soft, snug fur. I want to pat it. I want my entire body to touch the grizzly fur.
Oh. That's odd. I feel like I want to get naked with that bear, what's that about?
Interesting. I want to get naked with a bear. Maybe that's what happens when
you go abroad.

Mmm. Naked. Mmm. Bear. There is a familiar sense of pleasure growing in my
lower regions. But why now? And here? I feel like I want to hump something.
I feel like I wanna reach down and stroke myself, but I suppose that'd be a little
inappropriate in front of a bear. Or would it? Man, there is definitely a really nice
feeling going on here.

Oh well, the growling is getting louder. I suppose the animal is seeking me out.
All of a sudden, it roars right behind me and I jump -

Joey is snoring heavily straight into my ear. Oh, that wasn't much of a surprise.
Joey's the bear. Oh ew, that's gross.

But, hey, that really comfortable feeling from the dream is still here, increasing
by the minute.

Oh. There is touching. I feel touching. There is definitely touching! I'm glad Joey's
unconscious or otherwise I'd think he's the one groping me, since that's a very
un-Monica thing to do. But to my right – thank God - there is unconsciousness.
To my left, though, there is definitely something slowly caressing my groin.

I glance down and I can see that she at least had the decency of putting her jacket
on my lap. Probably because Ross is sitting across the aisle – oh gross gross gross –
am I supposed to be greatful here?

Oh man, this feel really good though. A little too good... Is that flight attendant looking
our way? Is this illegal? Um, if it is, we're at least over international waters and they
probably wouldn't know what country to press charges in. I wonder if France hasn't
the most liberal laws according to these things? Maybe we can claim that these events
took place at an Air France flight - oh God.

She's stroking me fully now, my entire length. Oh. There is squeezing. Definitely
pleasurable squeezing. This is good. This is good. Very good. Very, very good.

Too good. Oh man. This is not good!

I start to squirm a little and glance over to Monica. Her eyes are closed and she's
smiling slightly. God, is the bathroom vacant now, by any chance? No, there is someone
going that way, that's... That's... Ross! Coming right here! Gross! Ross! Go away, go away,
go away. Head for the bathroom, man! There you go! Bathroom, you've got to pee, go,
gone, gone!

And there he goes.

Monica keeps stroking me. Oh, man. I grit my teeth together and think about... Okay,
let's go with the Tribbiani method. Sandwiches. Okay. Sandwiches. Toast – bolonga –
mayonnaise - stroke – salad – tomato - bread with grains – stroke – bread without
grains – cheese – squeeze - no, cheese – stroke – mayo – stroke – oh no, no, no.
Baseball? Ball? Bat? Bat. Definitely hard as one. And no sign of fourth base. Oh, sweet
fourth base. Oh. No. Chandler? Am I supposed to think about Chandler? What does that
even mean, regarding that I am... him?

Okay, so let's go back to baseball. Balls? Oh. There is cupping. We are feeling
the cupping that is taking place, right now.

"Hey, Mon, there's been 48 hours since we, you know, and I'm getting a little tense
here. Mon. Mon? Monica!"

No reaction. Is she deaf? Is she dead? That would definitely be uncomfortable.
People will talk about it forever... "Man cums from necrofilic action on plane". I'll
be known as the guy who gets off to dead chicks!

Oh what the heck, alive or not, this is the best secret stroking I've ever had.
Technically, this is the only secret stroking I've ever had, but, yeah.

No. No, no. She's definitely alive, 'cause that hand is moving. Good, then I'll
just be an ordinary creep getting an ordinary handjob on an ordinary plane.

She won't stop! Oh God, why isn't there stopping? There should be stopping.
Baseball – sandwich – Chandler – no!

"You know, people will probably wonder why there is a man with a womans'
coat tied around his waist leaving the plane."

She keeps going, pretty eagerly, and I involuntarily buck my hips. Oh. Oh oh oh.
She's grabbed me now, squeezing and stroking hard. We're definitely heading
for point of no return here.

"For crying out loud, Monica – I may be whispering, but anyway – in less than
ten seconds, I'm going to make a mess in my pants!"

She doesn't stop. Why won't she stop? Joey's still snoring into my ear, Ross
is a couple of feet away from here, I think Rachel's staring right at me and
oh God, here we go.

And I'm cumming. Oh. Oh shit oh shit oh shit. The pleasure makes me jerk
and buck up into her hand and I have to bite my lip hard to prevent myself
from moaning.

Well, that hasn't happend since 8th grade.

"Thanks a lot, Mon."

As I relax, I can feel the wetness coming through the fabric of my khakis.
Why, why did I decide on beige khakis today, why not the black jeans? What
in the world is wrong with black jeans? And oh, now she's feeling it, too.

"What? You were serious?"

"Of course I was serious! Did you think that those amazing hands of yours
wouldn't give this result? They did, every single time before! Why would
a piece of stupid fabric make that change?"

Monica removes her jacket to have a look at what she has caused.

"No, Mon, please don't -"

"What? What's going on?"

Oh God. My twitching must've woken Joey up. Okay. Think quick. Really quick.

"I... Uh..."

Joey looks down and gets a clear shot of the situation.

"Oh man, you should definitely get laid more. In your sleep? What are you,
thirteen?"

"I, uh..."

"You know, you would've thought that a guy who gets laid so little that you do
should've learned to take care of that by yourself! Look: your boys clearly want
to swim. They always want to swim. Always swimming. And if their master can't
get them into the situations necessary for that, they'll just swim anyway! Even
if there isn't a pool!"

"Thanks, Joe, for that very informative birds and bees lecture."

"And dude, Monica's here!"

"I am very aware of that."

"You have to take better care of yourself, man. But hey, hold on, I can help
you out this time."

Joey rummages through his bag and finds a pair of pants.

"And you have an extra pair of pants in your carry on because...?"

Joey shrugs and smiles.

"Well, you know, Joeys' swimmers are the fastest one in America. They're
sometimes very eager to get out. Even though I got plenty of pools to
choose between, if y'knowhaddamean."

I just stare at him, but grab the pants, hold them in front of me and
head for the bathroom.

Thank God, it's vacant. I get in there and have a look at my flushed face
in the mirror. My groin is pretty wet, actually. Nice creep look, you creep.
And, oh, am I about to go commando from here? Well, I suppose so. I slowly
remove my pants, smiling a little as I feel the sticky underwear. Man, that
was kinda hot. I've sort of always wanted to be taken advantage of like that.

I put my underwear in the waist basket. It's a shame though, it was one of
my good pairs. All I've got left at home are a couple of tighty whities, man,
I've been single way too long.

But, again, that was hot. What if Monica could do that again sometime?
Maybe... at home? Maybe at the coffehouse? And then we could sneak into
the back and do it... Behind the counter. Oh. That obviously made me hard
again. Can I not have enough?

Somebody's knocking. I think. Is that knocking? It's knocking.

"Chandler?"

"Mon? Is that you?"

"Yeah, open the door!"

"No! Or... are you alone?"

"Yeah, just let me in!"

I unlock the door, and she squeezes herself in.

"Oh my God, Chandler, I'm so sorry! I didn't think it was gonna... end like that."

"Well, apart from the fact that Joey now thinks I'm even more of a sad person
than yesterday, that was pretty good!"

"It was?"

"Yeah, definitely. In fact, that was one of the sexiest events that has taken place
in my life, ever."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, that's so sweet. But was it really the best? Like, the best? If it was, let's go
out and do it again!"

"Hold it, champion, you're here now."

"That's true."

And she really is here. So I lean in and kiss her, gently. She responses in a way
that make me understand that that little stroking adventure was not only
pleasurable on my part. She pushes into me and I let my fingers slide down and
grab her ass. She moans into my mouth. I know by now that she likes it
when I'm pressing my hardness against her. So I do. I hold her ass tightly and slowly
rub her against my cock. She likes it. She's being vocal about it. Oh, God. I never
thought I'd see the day when Chandler Bing became a member of the Mile High
Club. There is probably a God.

I kiss her, slow and passionate, and keep grinding my groin against hers. There is some
more moaning. Oh my. She should always be moaning. I bet she's all wet by now, can I
ask if she's all wet? We havn't really made it to the dirty talk department yet, would it be
totally inappropriate to explore that area now?

Oh, what the hell. It's not like I'm ever gonna do this again.

"Mon?"

"Uh-huh?"

"Do, do, do you like my hard cock against you?"

I am rewarded by a moan and a little unexpected action. She's pulling me even closer and
she is sucking my tounge. Oh. Oh oh. She's sucking it. I think I like it. I like it. Definitely
nice. Makes me think of what else she's good at sucking at. Oh God.

As she pushes into me, I slowly let my hand drift upwards until I reach her breast.
Oh, it's so soft. And the nipple's hard. Oh. This is getting a little out of hand. I could
easily embaress myself for the second time today. I jerk up her t-shirt a little to get
better access to the... candy store.

"Chandler?"

"Yeah? What?"

Did I do something wrong? Oh God, I did something wrong.

"What? What did I do? Is it all over now? You want me to leave?"

She looks at me with a slight smile.

"You know what? I think you'll just have to do me, really fast. We're in for landing
pretty soon".

Well, that couldn't have made me any harder.

So, I gently turn her over and pull up her skirt. I hold her tightly and unvoluntarily
start to rock against her leg. Rythmichally. I undo my pants and pull them down a little,
pushing even harder against her. So much for that commando thing, I spent three minutes
without underwear. I could get used to that, though. I lean in and grind myself against her
soft ass while fondling her breasts over her t-shirt. She moans, kinda loud.

"You like that, huh?"

I whisper in her ear as I suck her earlobe and she replies quite quiet:

"You know... I never thought that making you cum in your pants would be that arousing. I
thought it was pretty unfair to you but I couldn't help going through with it, the
thought itself just made me so horny."

Oh God, that couldn't have made me hornier. In one quick movement, still fondling her
breasts, I pull down her panties and push my fingers into her. She's wet. And slick. And tight.
And she groans. There's no time for romantic actions here, so I just stroke her back and forth,
in and out, and rub her clit in between. Oh. Oh God. The wetness. And I am so hard.

"Hey! What are you doing in there? Some of us really need to pee!"

"Is that... Joey?"

Monica whispers in my ear, a desperate look on her face.

"Uh, Joey?"

"Yeah! What are you doing, man? Get out of there!"

"I, uh..."

I try to figure out something that makes sense to say, but can't come up with
anything. I push Monica to the back of the very small room, pull up my pants
and open the door a tiny, tiny bit.

"Hey, Joe, um, I... I am sort of trying to prevent, you know, the accident from
sort of, happening again."

"Oh, dude, I'm so sorry! Do you need some porn?"

I stare at him.

"Uh, no thanks, I have a, uh, good hand on the job, so to speak. And what,
do you have... travel porn?"

"Of course I have travel porn! You never know when an emergency comes up!
Jeez, no wonder things like this happen to you. But, oh, oh, hey, just one question
before I let you get back to business: Have you seen Monica? She said she had some
extra sandwiches!

"I think, I think I saw her making out with a stewardess at the front of the
plane, why don't you go have a look?"

"Really? Thanks man! This is the best flight ever!"

I breathe out and close the door. Turn around.

"Where were we?"

"Here."

Monica gently strokes me through my pants, which makes me remember earlier
events.

"Mon, even though that does feel very good, I'm not sure even Joey will buy that
I, by the age of thirty, had an accident twice in less than an hour."

She smiles, oh, I've come to love that smile, actually, and turns her back against
me again. I push myself against her, harder than ever now, hold her close, kiss her
neck, yank down my, well, technichally Joeys', pants and ease myself into her. Oh
God. Oh god, oh god. She's tight. She's wet. She moans. A deep, long moan as I
start to do her fast, just as she asked for. I'm picking up the pace, good thing I quit
smoking, this is not for people with weak lungs. Bad thing I don't work out, this is
not for people with weak thighs, either.

She's moaning loudly now, as I slam into her. I'm happy she did what she did to me
before, or otherwise this would have been over way too soon. I am mumbling random
dirty talk into her ear, and I can feel her inner muscles getting tigther, she's getting
closer. And so am I. Shit. I reach over, around her and gently finger her clit. I learned
to do that two days ago, I also learned that she doesn't need it but she likes it. Seven,
seven, seven, that's what's it all about. I suck her neck. She'll hate me for sucking her
neck, I might leave a hickey. I don't care. I want her to have a Chandler hickey! Oh.
She's so tight and she's moaning, she's moaning, she's moaning and... she's cumming.
Oh god, I'm close too. Few more thrusts and...

Oh. My. God. There is stars, the world just exploded and the plane probably fell from
the sky. Oh. Shit. I hold her close and we stay united for a few more seconds. Or
minutes. Or hours. When I'm all limp, I pull out of her and she turns around and
smiles. Oh. I love that smile, too. We hug.

I bet Joey'll be pounding on that door any second now and I have no idea how to
get myself, ourselves, out of this situation. But for now, it doesn't really matter. Oh God.