The Insanity In Me
I'm tired of being strong. To act that I'm okay in front of everyone else, to laugh and mock every time Sheila told me that her date with Aster went horrible. I'm tired of pretending that I'm okay when Kristoff ask me why I was quiet all of sudden.
I keep on living but every time I wake up to face the day, part of me died a little.
I'm empty.
My heart aches, I want to cry but I can't. I'm strong. Everyone knows me as a headstrong and brave girl. A little bit uptight but kind.
But I'm not, I'm not Elisabeth anymore. I'm someone different. He takes my heart away from me. He told me lies. 2 years we have been together and he said not even once in our moment of together that he loves me.
I put a trust into someone even when I'm not that type of person that trust people easily. I know how cruel people can be. I thought that he can be trusted so I gave him my heart. Keep it and protect it, I said. In the end he threw it away when his life got better. He used me. We have been together through the storm and but he toss me away when the sun shine. Leaving me to face the hurdle and cold dark night alone. I was in loved with Hans, I believed that he's the hero that saved me from my misery and solitude but I was wrong. He is actually one of the reasons that trigger the nightmares in my sleep.
Elisabeth is gone. What left behind is an empty shell with a soul that's barely breathing.
I cried through the night when he abandoned me. My brother hug me and pat my back while I cried my heart out, damping his shirt. Anna held my hand and squeeze it gently.
The anxiety didn't help. I stop taking my medicine when I was living alone in my condominium. Kristoff, my dear brother visited me occasionally with Anna, to make sure that I'm still breathing.
I keep on having nightmares every night. The dream was always the same. I was at my old house, a massive mansion, walking in the hallway aimlessly. I reached the living room, and there's my father and mother looking at me with hole in their eyes, and their mouth slightly open. They screamed and that's when I wake up from my sleep. My pyjama soaked with sweat.
At the university, I don't have a friend. Though there's one boy who keep following me everywhere. His name is Pitch and he torment me every day. As a psychology major student, I'm an interesting subject to him, he said.
'Do they scream?'
'What does it feels like living in a tight box?'
'Elsa you can't run away from it'
Please stop, I said one day when we're at the library. My heart beats fast when he ask about my nightmares. He keeps on talking about the shadows, the holes and the screaming. I closed my ears with my hands, I can't breathe ,the library turns into a microwaves. It's so hot and my heart won't stop pounding loudly.
Make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop
I keep on searching
A reason for living
My time is running
My life is fading away
I have nothing left to say
This horrible world
I'm glad that it will be over
I made a deal
To sell my soul to the devil
Oh what happened in the past?
Scared and lonely I was
Now I'm glad that it's going to be over
So goodbye to the world
That night, I step in the balcony of my condominium. It's located on 20 storey high.
The wind calms me down and I feel the gentle breeze soothe my skin.
And then came the voice.
He told me his name is Jack and he comes to take me away from my pain.
Jack hold me when I sleep. To keep the nightmares away, to silence the demons.
He beat up Pitch and smile at me with triumph and bloody fist.
During our many night together, we joined our body and hold each other's hand. Jack serenade me when I whimper on his bare chest.
And I know Elsa. Underneath your naked skin, your beautiful soul is bleeding
I promise you the truth can't hurt you now. All of the hell that you had walk through. You are a pretty butterfly
I know that you afraid. You made the same mistakes. An open heart is an open wound to you. And in the wind there's a heavy choice .Love has a quiet voice .I'm yours to choose so let my love be the light to guide you home.
He was supposed to keep his end of the deal but Jack fell in love with me. Instead of sucking away the life from me, he desperately tried to keep me alive.
His attempt was in vain because Jack woke up in the next morning, holding my cold body, he silently weep.
Jack is actually an incubus who fell in love with Elsa in the end
They made a deal, I'm pretty sure all of you can guess what's the deal is about.
Kristoff is Elsa brother. Anna is Kristoff girlfriend.
Elsa witnessed her parent's murdered in the living room. The murderer gouge her parent's eyes while Elsa stood at the stairs, horrified and unable to move from the shock.
Hans was Elsa ex-boyfriend.
After her parent's death, Elsa went for a treatment. She was okay until Hans decided to abandon her.
Because to Elsa Hans is her world and she depends her life on him. That's why it hurts badly when they broke up. Elsa got depressed again and this time, she didn't want any help. Elsa wanted to die.
Read and review. Its motivated me to write more stories and maybe perhaps one with a happy ending.
I don't own any of the characters and the lyrics mentioned above.
Oh,can anyone name the song in this story ?