Ancient mythology had always played a vital role in his calming-down routine. Whenever some idiotic subordinate consumed his valuable time and wore thin his patience, he would often sink into the legends and tales of times long ago to escape them...and also to avoid particularly nasty encounters involving large, sharpened objects and areas of soft tissue. He was getting good at eyes now- everyone who had been present to witness the removal of Xigbar's eye agreed.
Even Xigbar.
Xigbar...
He scowled and hunched his shoulders up against the wind that whipped through the bamboo grove. If it wasn't for Xigbar, he wouldn't be -in- this godforsaken land. Yet here he found himself, staring into a never-changing landscape whilst mere insects scurried about the camp below, preparing for a battle that they could not possibly hope to win, whilst the Whirlwind Lancer watched them, musing and perhaps...sulking...
He stood, black coat whipping out behind him as he let out a truly lacklustre sigh. The whole situation with Xigbar was completely preposterous and there was simply no way he was going to lower himself to the standards of drunken idiots.
Though he was never one to turn his back on a bet...
He sighed and pulled back the hood that had been obscuring his face; the wind was pleasant on his skin; after all- it was, of course, his element. Himself.
With a yawn, the broadly-built man rolled his neck from side to side to work out the cramp that had developed from hours of sitting with his head on his hand, listening to Xemnas drone on about yet another fault he had found within the menial tasks he set.
What had been the task given to him? The third member of the most powerful nobodies that had ever existed? (Or rather, not-existed…)
...To find a scrawny red lizard.
He growled and kicked at the squirming sack by his feet, that had been gibbering for the past twenty minutes or so.
"Still your tongue, you miserable gecko, before I tear it from your mouth by the seam." He said sweetly, somehow managing to keep his voice a listless drawl. Whilst torturing the lizard was an appealing option, Xemnas had stated very clearly that he wanted it alive, which ruined the fun somewhat in Xaldin's opinion.
Where was Xigbar!?
He had been ordered by the Superior to wait for the loud and foul-mouthed Freeshooter and to return with him…but Xaldin had been waiting for at least an hour and a half and now his patience was growing thin.
As these angry, restless thoughts danced before his mind, the wind picked up speed and force, causing his cloak to throw itself out in front of him, rippling wildly as nine thick dreadlocks crackled out with it, lashing and writhing as if they were seperate entities. Jaded blue eyes narrowed under thick eyelashes and bushy brows, whilst an angular face was obscured somewhat by heavy, dark sideburns that claimed his cheeks. Full lips were turned into a sneer, casting the man's face into a mask of utter loathing.
If Xigbar didn't arrive within the next twenty minutes, Xemnas be damned; Xaldin's time and effort were too precious to be squandered this way! The time would come...it was merely a matter of waiting, and watching; something that Xaldin was adept at, when the cause was worthwhile. However, for now...he glanced at the shivering sack, and felt a malicious grin spread across his face.
"Shall we play a game, little lizard?" He queried softly, his voice a sickly coo. "It's called- 'Fireworks...'"
"Dude- are you, like, planning on sexually harassing that lizard? That's really unhealthy." The familiar drawl from above drew a sigh from the Lancer, although it was difficult to tell if it was from exasperation or relief. Xaldin didn't even bother to look; he knew that non-actions would aggravate Xigbar more.
"You took your sweet time, Cyclops." He commented irritably, his grip around the lizard's throat tightening.
"As I always do, spaghetti head- 'cause my time is so valued, that other, lesser people hafta wait around fer me." Xigbar countered haughtily. "You get the gecko?"
"Y'call i me /i a b gecko /b , y'crazy sunnova--!? Ah'm ay DRAH-GON! DRAAAAGON. Y'got that?" said gecko interrupted angrily. It gave a wheeze as Xaldin's grip tightened once more.
"If you do not shut up, then you'll be tonight's special." He growled, before a devious smirk crossed his face. He wondered whether or not a dragon would make a good seasoning…
"Duuuude. That's fucking gross." Xigbar whined. Xaldin rolled his eyes.
"If you don't like it- please feel free to make the meals for all thirteen of us from now on. You're under no obligation to eat what I make." He pointed out.
"..Most of it…I guess it ain't half bad…kinda tasty…" Xigbar muttered. Xaldin gave a satisfied smirk; he and every other member of the Organisation remembered Xigbar's last attempt at cooking. It had taken Demyx six hours to put the blaze out; the Nocturne's fingertips had been bleeding afterwards from hours of strumming.
Xigbar was never one to lose a verbal duel gracefully, so dropped down from wherever it was he had been lurking onto Xaldin's back, looping his arms around the other's neck and his legs around Xaldin's waist. The Lancer was quite taken aback by this and made a noise of protest.
"Kahaha. Carry meeee." Xigbar cackled, digging his heels into Xaldin's sides.
"We've been through this discussion before, Xigbar…"
"Dude- c'mon! My feet hurt!" Xigbar griped. "I don't weigh much! I'm not a fat-ass like you!"
Xaldin turned his head slightly.
"You really aren't winning any friends here, Xigbar…" He growled.
"Psssht." Xigbar snorted dismissively. "C'mon. Giddyup."
"Don't make me hurt you."
"As if."
"I will."
Xigbar was about to retort, but realised that actually- Xaldin could really do some damage to him, so thought better of it. Instead, he yawned and settled his chin on Xaldin's shoulder, leaning on him. The Lancer debated getting him off, but theorised that it would take more time and effort trying to forcibly remove him than it would take to just get on with it and let him stay on his back. He shrugged his shoulders to make sure that Xigbar wasn't digging in anywhere, and the Freeshooter made a noise of discontent.
"Heyyy- no jiggling." He grumbled, settling back down. Xaldin groaned wearily and made a mental note to complain to Xemnas about this.
"Listen, Xald- I was thinking about that bet-" Xigbar began. Xaldin groaned again, louder.
"I refuse to participate."
"Duuuude! It's, like, central to you!"
"Exactly. If I choose not to join in with your moronic wager, then you leave me alone."
"…You like it really." Xigbar teased.
"No, Xigbar. I don't." Xaldin said firmly.
"Oh, what- so, you don't like me doin'…this?" Xigbar purred, nipping the tip of the Lancer's ear gently. Xaldin let out an involuntary noise and Xigbar felt him shiver. The Lancer's body tensed directly afterwards.
"No." He hissed, head lowered.
"Ohhh…okay…" Xigbar grinned. "I gotcha. So, I guess I better do this instead."
With that, he leaned forwards again and slid the tip of his tongue along the ridge of the same ear, causing Xaldin to yelp and his head to jerk back.
"Stop!" He snarled, jerking his head away. Xigbar set his mouth against Xaldin's now exposed neck and let out a low purr. The vibrations shot through the Lancer like fourty thousand volts.
"Okaaaaay. I'll stop…" Xigbar grinned, feeling Xaldin shiver again. "…That is, if you're a good boy, join in like your superiors tell you and get us back."
Xaldin gave out an animal snarl of rage and tried to shift in Xigbar's hold, but let out a whimper as the other took advantage of their respective positions and bit down a little harder on Xaldin's other earlobe, sucking softly.
"Now now, dude- there's no need fer violence." Xigbar smirked. Xaldin could feel the Freeshooter's smirk against the skin of his neck. His body prickled uncomfortably.
"So, dude- are you going to be a good boy?" Xigbar goaded. "Or a baaaad boy?" To emphasise his point, he nibbled the lobe a little more, taking a little more in. Xaldin restrained the moan that crawled up his throat.
"…I'm in." He managed to hiss through gritted teeth.
"Thought you might be." Xigbar sniggered, before digging his heels into Xaldin's sides once more. "Now, Giddyup!" Xaldin grimaced, and called up a portal.
"Make horse noises." Xigbar commanded, grinning at the power rush coursing through him. Xaldin screwed his eyes shut- was it worth it...?
"You can fuck off, Xigbar." he hissed…
The sound of soft whimpering, the gibbering of a dragon being bounced around in a sack and the occasional 'neigh' were the last things to be heard blowing through the bamboo grove as both Nobodies disappeared into the darkness. Luxord had to be informed, after all…