he set the soda down as he thought quietly in his motel room. it was small, had a single bed and a smal window that pointed out into the fields by the town. this was his hide out in a sense, he came here to hide.
i know i dissapeared a time or two.. and on the way i lost me and you
he glanced out the window at the starry night. it was a small town in arkansas, so the lights didnt block out the night. he had just moved here, and thankfully he got a job, even if it was selling VCR's in a walmart, it still paid the rent, something he had never worried about before when he and his friends...
i needed a new town for my new start.. sellin VCR's in arkansas at a walmart
since then he had become a hard drinker, but, since that day it held less and less appeal to him. his eyes found the cabinet. he knew there was hard liqeur in there. and yeah it did seem to call to him. he closed his eyes as he resisted the temptation, it had been almost three weeks since his last drink, though he seemed dull since he last drank something strong.
i havnt had a drink in nineteen days.. my eyes arent clear and bright without that haze
he sighed as his mind turned to his memories of the day, he had started going to church, the peacher seemed like a nice guy, and he thought the preacher would eventually grow to be a good friend. but the reason he went today was because of last night. he couldnt talk to her without.. without his eyes burning and his... tears reaching the outside
i like the preacher from the church of christ.. sorry that i cried when i talked to you last night
he sighed as he banished the memory away for a time he sighed before talking out loud, to someone he missed so dearly."im on a roll here in little rock. solid as a stone... i wish you could see." he choked up. his eyes closed as he took a breath. he always promised he wouldnt cry, and he always broke that promise
i think im on a roll here in little rock.. im solid as a stone, baby wait and see
he shook his head as if to clear cobwebs away." ive just.. ive got this problem... even here in little rock, with out you... baby im not me." he said as he felt tears burning his eyes again. he crushed them with his palms quickly, he wouldnt allow it this time
ive got just one problem here in little rock without you.. baby im not me
he leaned back as he cleared his throat." im sorry... i never awsered your question.. but i didnt know the awser." he said quietly." but i promise i did try."
i dont know why i held it all inside.. you mustve thought i never even tried
his mind began to play memories as he just began to pour everything out." you know your daddy told me when i left... jesus would forgive, but a dad like him dont forget."
you know your daddy told me when i left jesus would forgive, but a daddy dont forget i think im on aroll here in little rock im solid as a stone baby wait and see
" i miss you so much. i dont feel like myself at all anymore." he almost yelled at nothing and everything.
ive got just one small problem here in little rock.. without you baby im not me
he got up and went to lay down, but immediatly images of his nights with her seemed to go off like fireworks, to the point where he could smell her lavender and taste her lips
lyin here apon this motel bed, my thoughts of you explode inside my head
he finally let them come, as the tears fell he whispered to himself." i swear that day.. when i gave up.. i didnt mean anything i said.." he whispered as he thought about his one sided convorsation that day in front of her, how he cursed his love and tried to wish it away
like a castle built on the sand.. i let love crumble in my head
he reached over and grabbed a picture off the dresser
i think im on a roll here in little rock.. im solid as a stone, baby wait and see
he kissed it slowly, closing his eyes
i got just one small problem here in little rock.. without you baby im not me
he set it down, and in the picture the beautiful woman was standing next to him, her left hand was around his waist, and her right was playing with his green hair, his hand was around her lower back as he tried to pull a stupid pose
without you baby im not me... think im on a roll here in little rock
on the back of the picture, it read 'i love you' and just below that 'in loving memory of raven roth. a mother, a lover, the holder of my heart, and keeper of my soul.'