A series of short conversations, set immediately after The Cold Turkey
Three Knocks at the Door 1/3
Beta: loracj2
Word Count: 500 words approx
Spoilers: Through to the end of The Cold Turkey
The First Knock
"Seth?"
"Come in."
"Hey…"
"Hey, mom."
Kirsten sits down on the bed and squeezes the hand of her biological son.
"All our visitors gone?" Seth inquires, implying an interest that Kirsten knows is not there.
"Your dad's just dropping Darryl off at the shelter. We offered him and his friend Bill beds for the night, but it seems the late night soup run beckons."
Seth snickers at that, but he still stares straight ahead, and his dark brown eyes still retain the troubled look that hasn't left them since Ensenada.
"Julie?"
Kirsten shakes her head.
"No, she's still in the pool house talking to Ryan."
She can see he doesn't get it. Doesn't get how Julie can waltz in and take away his grieving best friend, only to have them both laughing within five minutes. Wasn't that his job?
"They need each other right now. They need each other more than they need us."
Seth pulls his hand away from his mother's and folds his arms across his chest.
"He didn't even look at me. When he came back with Dad. He just walked to the end of the table, didn't even glance my way."
"Give him some time, Seth."
"What if he never forgives me?"
Kirsten knows this won't happen. Thinks this won't happen. Prays this won't happen.
"He's not the Ryan we know. But the Ryan we know is in there somewhere, and he'll come back and that Ryan will forgive you. That Ryan will know you didn't do anything that needs forgiveness. That Ryan knows you love him."
"And if that Ryan never comes back?"
Kirsten thinks back to what she and Sandy have watched through the pool house windows. She doesn't know what they were saying to each other, but she saw enough to know that the Ryan in the pool house is not the same Ryan that traveled back with her from Ensenada twenty four hours earlier; that whatever happened with Volchok in that motel room has somehow enabled him to draw a line underneath what happened.
"I think he's already back. But now that he is, he has a lot of things to deal with. Things that he's been hiding from. Things that are buried deep inside him. All things that I know you'll be right by his side to help him deal with. Look after him, Seth. Just because he's not about to run off and try and kill someone doesn't mean he won't need you."
Seth ponders this, but he's still not convinced that Ryan will ever trust him again. He hasn't forgotten the shove. He hasn't forgotten the phone flying though the air, Ryan's barely veiled contempt flying along with it. He hasn't forgotten Ryan, hand cradling the bedpost, his voice so cold Seth's heart pretty much froze right there and then.
And he wonders how to tell his mother that Ryan's really scared him this time, and he's not sure he even wants to be there for him any more…
tbc