This was my night. I was finally gonna tell her.
Except, it's not an easy thing. I mean… You don't just blurt out to a girl that you are in love with her. With a girl you aren't even dating. I should ease into the big 'L' word.
I should try this the normal way. I could find an excuse to pull her aside later and ask her out. Simple, right? That's what everybody else does, so it couldn't be that hard to ask out a good friend I've known for years.
Right.
The problem bring that I had talked myself out of it every other night I'd thought of doing just that.
I, Sam Merlotte, am a fucking coward. I've been in love with Sookie Stackhouse for years. I'm her boss. Makes that just 'ask her out' thing awkward. But Sookie is special. She's kind and sweet. She puts up with so much from this town that treats her like a freak. She's more different than our little town knows how to handle. There's not a lot of unusual around here. Just a lot of average folks. Except for Sookie. And me.
Sookie is telepathic. She can read minds. Makes it real hard for her to concentrate some days. She hears everything everyone around her thinks. She told me it's like a bunch of radios and televisions all playing different stations at the same time. Gets pretty noisy in her head. She had a tough childhood. It took her years to learn to block out the thoughts of others. She had to learn not to answer thoughts and only respond to what people said out loud. It's even harder not to show her emotional reactions to things she shouldn't be able to know. People started calling her 'Crazy Sookie' when she was still little. Most people don't actually know what she can do. Most wouldn't believe it if they were told. They wouldn't even want to know the truth of it. It's just easier for everyone to think she's crazy or stupid when she can't hide what she is from them. She has to concentrate all the time to block outside thoughts. Poor, beautiful, sweet girl.
Sookie likes working for me. She says that I'm a little harder to read than most people and she likes that about me. She said she's had bosses before that thought awful things about her and she had to quit. So now Sookie is a waitress at my bar, Merlotte's Bar & Grill. She's been here for a couple years. I know that dating my employee sounds like a bad idea but this is different. She's such a good person. And, oh, she smells so sweet.
I'm not creepy. I swear. I'm a little different myself, but I'm not that kind of weirdo. I can smell her the minute she walks in the building. I have extra strong senses. It comes with my DNA.
I'm a Shape-Shifter.
Yeah, Vampires aren't the only supernaturals out there. Vamps 'came out of the coffin' a couple years back. Told the whole world they exist and always have. They called it the Great Revelation.
Yeah, great. Your nightmares about things that go bump in the night are actually real!
A Japanese company had figured out how to make a viable synthetic blood. In addition to its obvious medical uses, it is now bottled for Vampires to drink. True Blood, as it's called, allowed the Human public to believe the Vampire's cockamamie story about being 'safe' because they only drink bottled blood now. Their PR campaign seems to be working for the most part. Humans are fascinated with all things Vampire. The rest of the Supernaturals have not revealed themselves yet. We are still waiting to see how bad the fallout might be if things go wrong before we take the same risk.
Humans are not exactly known for reacting well to change. Eventually, yes, they will become accustomed to the idea that supernatural beings exist. We always have. They will accept that and get over it. Eventually. What might happen getting to that point is the part that makes me nervous.
That's kinda why I haven't told Sookie what I am yet. I know it's not really fair seeing as I know about her special secret but, I don't tell anybody mine. She would be the first to know who couldn't already tell. Vamps, Weres and Shifters, we can tell each other right away. My go-to shift is a dog and my sense of smell is pretty keen. I know any Supe as soon as they're near.
And Sookie is definitely supernatural. She is a little bit human, but a lot more something else, something I have never encountered before.
And so I'd tell her my secret soon. Maybe.
Or I'd ask her out… Maybe?
Or I could just invite her to take a peek in my head. I'd let her know I'm comfortable with it. Let her hear that I'm interested but that I don't want her to feel uncomfortable since we work together. Yeah, that'd work. Then she would let me know if it was safe to take the next step.
Yeah, I know. Still a coward.
I've always kept to myself. I know there are other shifters out there but I don't know any. Never even met one. I've met some Weres, mostly werewolves, but they tend to stick to their own kind. Were pecking order goes something like this: Family, pack, other weres, then other supes (allies first, of course), then humans. That puts me down the line a bit and so I'd always be an outsider, even with them.
As far as I've heard, Shifters tend to be loners or sometimes run in small packs. With the ability to shift into any animal, we become very independent. My adopted parents weren't any kind of supernatural. They panicked when I shifted the first time. It came over me all of a sudden one day. I turned into a puppy. Terrified, I ran into the woods and didn't come back home until I could calm down enough to shift back into my human self. I came home naked and scared out of my mind. My parents didn't even say anything to me about it. They left dinner out for me and went to bed without a word. I camed home from school the next day to find them gone. The whole house was empty, all except my room. Made it pretty clear I wasn't invited, wherever it was they went.
I've been on my own since then. I figured out I could change into any animal I saw, either a live one or even from a photo but I found that a drawing usually won't work. I stayed animal a lot as a teenager. I stole what I needed, keeping to myself for fear of others treating me like a freak. My parents had taught that lesson hard. Eventually I managed to be back among people again. I wasn't a nice guy for a long time, though. Too much shit had happened. I had done too many bad things either for survival or out of fear or pain. Learning to trust anyone, humans or Supes, was a long, rough road.
I do pretty good now. I like this town. Bon Temps in northern Louisiana is pretty much nowhere. It's a simple place. People here live close to nature and they don't like much interference from the outside world. It took me awhile to be accepted but I've earned my place. I own the bar and quite a few properties around town. I contribute to the community and I look out for folks here at Merlotte's. Since it's one of the few watering holes, and certainly the most successful, my bar has become the social hub of Bon Temps. I know about nearly everything that passes through here. I can hear all the gossip. I can even smell who's sleeping around. Mostly I don't care. Live and let live. But I like being in the know. I prefer to know what's coming.
I get involved in some things, like making sure Jane Bodehouse, our town drunk, doesn't drive home lit up every night. I make sure Arlene's kids are ok. She's one of my waitresses and she's currently 'between husbands'. My part-time cook and bartender, Terry, is a war veteran with PTSD. I help him keep his stress level down and make sure he stays on his meds. But mostly, I keep an eye on Sookie.
She keeps to herself when she's not working, so she's not hard to look after. But one day things will change. She'll meet more Supes or decide to use her gift or something else will happen, and her world will get bigger. She'll be in danger. Right now she doesn't know of anyone else who is special like her. She doesn't know any Vampires and no one else in her family is gifted. (Her brother being an infamous womanizer does not count.) She doesn't even know about me. It may be a weak excuse for keeping my distance, but I'd rather protect her then let her know how I feel. Rather her be alone and safe than let her know there are other special beings out there and have her be exposed to them. Though I hate it, I'd rather her think herself a freak than know how not human she really is.