Title: Memoirs of a Suicide Mission.
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I own nothing whatsoever.
Summary: After witnessing the death of an animal, House changes his mind about suicide. When he goes back home, he has three secrets following him, secrets that make him happy. Cameron tries to destroy his secrets, making him very angry. Finally, the secrets come to the PPTH, making all hell break loose.
? - Hey! This is a very, very, very, very, very strange oneshot I wrote. I think it's a little dark at the beginning, and a pretty quirky story. Very strange, that is my warning. I don't know what possessed me to write this, but I did. So, hope you like it!
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He trudged through the thick underbrush, muttering under his breath. Twigs ensnared his jacket and shirt. He tore them both off and left them hanging on a tree. He wouldn't need them where he was going. Death didn't care whether he was covered up or not! And if it did, it could go to hell. Oh wait, that's where it lives, scratch that.
The gibbous gleamed down at him through the dense forest, slivers of silver dancing along the tree trunks. Mocking him. Everything seemed to mock him…The stars, twinkling, blinking, bright little connect-the-dots gone wrong, they were so annoying. Laughing at him. He wouldn't see stars where he was going. He wouldn't see anything; except the huge black void of death.
Thud; his cane smacked the ground. I wonder how much farther my destination is?
Thud; this is beginning to seem as ennui as my life.
Thud; I wonder if I'll be disabled when I'm trapped in the land of rotting corpses?
Thud; oh great, now it sounds as if I'll be living in a world like Resident Evil.
oh great, now it sounds as if I'll be living in a world like .Scratch; ow, that sound was not my cane. What the hell just went in my mouth! Oh, it's blood, a branch must have cut my face.
ow, that sound was my cane. What the hell just went in my mouth! Oh, it's blood, a branch must have cut my face.Scratch; Again, dammit? Next thing you know I'm going to encounter wolves.
Aaooooooooooooooo! Okay…Belated knock on wood? He rapped smartly on the trunk of a large tree next to him.
He stopped in his tracks and looked around. Shaking off the shadow of fear that had just crept over him, he continued walking.
Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud…..The sound continued on and on. But this wasn't House's cane making the sound.
Aaoooooooooooo!
Aa-Aa-ooooooooooo!
The wolves' howls faded away into the darkness, just like the moon through the dark green bushes of tree tops, staring at him. But they weren't mocking him. Just staring at him. Well, they would, if trees could stare.
He continued walking, his pace marked by the echoing sound of his thudding cane, spreading throughout the silent night, alerting the beasts within.
Owls watched him making his way slowly through their home. Their amber eyes seemed like the only thing alive compared to their stony faces, camouflaged body, and still-as-a-statue pose. But they were not disguised for much longer; spreading lengthy wings they took flight.
Whoosh!
Whoosh!
They all flew down to snatch a vole that had scurried between House's legs. Which basically meant that House was now being molested by a bunch of owls trying to get the vole; ripping his shirtless form of misery up in the process.
They never caught the vole.
His leg was throbbing, throbbing. Molesting owls, understanding trees, scratchy brambles, mocking pieces of natures puzzle, and a throbbing leg. This was the time for a Vicodin. He popped two, and continued on his way.
"Boring."
Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud - the pattering paws were coming back. They screeched to a halt, with one last thud of what he supposed was either an incompetent one, or a little one.
the pattering paws were coming back. They screeched to a halt, with one last of what he supposed was either an incompetent one, or a little one.Something was crashing through the trees, knocking branches aside and making an astonishingly loud noise. It seemed like it was a crime, to break the sound of silence, cursing the ears of all who dwelled with the terrible, distracting noise of omens and horrible things to come. A huge shape was dragging itself through the forest; letting out cries of pain. Help me. I am injured. I am in pain. The unspoken words were being carried by the wind, a mere imprint of the harsh, deep, throaty sobbing of the massive beast.
Help me - Help me - Help me………. The wordless sounds emitting from it's throat repeated the same course; cry, echo, cry, echo.
He wanted to run forward, help the beast, saying "I feel your pain! I feel your pain! We do not have to go through this alone! Man and Beast may unite to bring our sufferings to an end! Let me treat your wounds, I must help you…in order to help myself…" but something held him back, and he didn't know what. Not to mention it sounded extremely corny.
I am dying, I am dying…You cannot help me now, no one can…no one can…It cried sadly, it's grunts becoming weaker, it's breathing becoming rapid and shallow. Not being able to take it anymore, he ran forward and knelt by the animal. He patted and smoothed it's coarse brown hair, and it's deep chocolate brown eyes looked straight at him, watching him. He cried out again, a long wail of despair and misery, it did not want to end it's life, it did not want to die, mortally wounded. It wanted to die of old age. Not here, not now, not like this. It's too late! Live! Live! As I cannot! Live in my name! Everyone! Goodbye…
It cried sadly, it's grunts becoming weaker, it's breathing becoming rapid and shallow. Not being able to take it anymore, he ran forward and knelt by the animal. He patted and smoothed it's coarse brown hair, and it's deep chocolate brown eyes looked straight at him, watching him. He cried out again, a long wail of despair and misery, it did not want to end it's life, it did not want to die, mortally wounded. It wanted to die of old age. Not here, not now, not like this."Don't leave me…"he whispered, his voice cracking. Now, after he had been all alone for so long, he had finally found someone who could understand, and he wanted to save this animal so badly, from the moment it had staggered into this small clearing. Was he actually caring?
It's breathing slowed down, just enough. He crouched over the animal, patting it, rubbing it, petting it, the animal would not respond to his touches. He pulled his hands away; they were covered in blood. He was shaking, he felt like crying. "No…you're not gone…you can't be!" his voice still cracking. He felt a lump in his throat. He needed this animal, he needed it!
It opened it's eye wearily, his dark outline reflected in them. It gave a short, soft grunt, and his eyes closed, his breathing stopped completely, his heart stopped beating.
He was gone. He had wanted to live and he was gone. House didn't want to live anymore, and he was still alive. Why is the universe so cruel?
Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud, thud….They were back, the wolfs.
Aaooo! They called into the night. He could hear growls coming from the surrounding forest. The wolves were emerging, big small, white black or grey, pacing, baring their teeth, flexing their muscles, all for the point of intimidating the blood covered man squatting in front of their handiwork, their kill.
They called into the night. He could hear growls coming from the surrounding forest. The wolves were emerging, big small, white black or grey, pacing, baring their teeth, flexing their muscles, all for the point of intimidating the blood covered man squatting in front of their handiwork, kill.They formed a tighter circle, and House realized what they were going to do. They were responsible for the death of the animal whose blood he was covered in. They were coming to finish the job. And he wasn't going to let them.
He picked up a small branch from the ground and brandished it at the wolves. "Get away! You've already done enough damage! Go kill something else!"
The five or so wolves stayed still. Then, one by one, they turned tail and ran for it. House sighed. At least he wouldn't be eaten too. He did not want to die being ravaged by forest animals.
He could hear howling in the distance, and the sound of feet pick up again. They faded, then became a crescendo then faded again. He wondered what the pack was doing. It was a very small pack, come to think of it. Only five? Idiots. The thudding came back again; louder than before.
Around twenty or thirty wolves emerged into the clearing.
"Sacre bleu and merde." he muttered. Okay, maybe they weren't such idiots after all.
The largest Timber Wolf, which he dubbed Spawn of Cuddy(Cuddy for short) Stood stiff legged and tall. The ears erect and forward, the hackles bristling. The lupine stared penetratingly at him with cold, stormy gray eyes. The tail was curled towards the back menacingly. It's lips were pulled back, incisors displayed.
"Er, nice wolfie?" he tried, knowing it wouldn't work, and if it did, he would be dubbed: The Wolf Whisperer and have his own TV show. Ha! Imagine that! A TV Show all about Dr. House!
Talking, unfortunately, was the wrong thing to do. It crouched down, and it looked like it was about to spring any second.
The rest of the wolves followed it's actions. Except three. Stupid idiots, can't they see there is meat? He dubbed these Cameron, Chase, and Foreman.
Another wolf, had done everything so hesitantly, so reluctantly. He named it Wilson.
Cuddy was attempting to kill him, and trying to get what he had dubbed Nurses and Secretaries, to follow suit.
Hating himself for what he was about to do, he plunged his hand into the body of the animal and ripped out an organ. He threw it as far as he could, and the wolves all ran after it. Except Cameron-Wolf, Chase-Wolf, and Foreman-Wolf. They all meekly inched towards him. He had a feeling they wouldn't hurt him, so he reached out his hand. They started, but then eagerly licked his bloody hand, and eventually it was clean again.
He started walking away, and after about ten minutes of walking the way to go home, he turned around. There they were. The three nice wolves. Following him! The indignity! Well, maybe not. Misery loves company, right? So he continued to let them follow him, occasionally scratching them behind the ears, making them squirm in pleasure.
"Maybe I should get a dog after this, what do you think?" he asked aloud, knowing they wouldn't answer. But they did look up at him with huge watery eyes that didn't seem to be there a second ago. He took that to mean, but we can be your pets!
He shook his head, chuckling. But now that he thought about it, he did feel rather attached to the lupines. Maybe I can keep them in my apartment? No, to cramped, I'll just let them stay here and visit after work each day. Or something like that. "Hey guys," he asked them, they turned their heads towards him. "If I whistle, would you come?" they all barked, which House took to mean as 'yes'. Awesome! I have pet wolves!
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The real counter-parts of the wolf pack were freaking out. Even though it was well into the night, police swarmed the PPTH questioning the staff on the missing person, Gregory House. Cameron was crying, Cuddy was crying, Wilson was having spazattacks, and Chase and Foreman had grave looks on their faces. Where was House? What had happened to him?
When the police searched his office they found a plastic baggie with the words 'SN' written on it. Even though they didn't know it at the time, they stood for 'Suicide Note'. It was full of shredded pieces of paper. When they showed them to the staff of the hospital, know one seemed to know what it was, except Wilson. He had walked in when the cop was questioning the Team saying, "I know what that is!"
They all turned expectantly at him, when he answered in a cracked voice, "Trust House to make his suicide note a puzzle."
Now the police were looking for a body, not a person.
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House could see the city light now, and he finally reached the end of the forest. "Goodbye guys! I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I'll meet you right here."
They gave him a look that he took as, 'cool, I'll see you tomorrow then House.'
He waved and hopped on his motorcycle that he had left at the edge of the forest. Instead of casually slipping into his apartment unnoticed and coming into work the next day, he was found by the police, and dragged away to the Hospital.
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Cuddy could hear shouting towards the entrance of the hospital.
"Take me back now! I just want to go home, then I can come back here. Okay?" said an angry familiar voice.
She looked over in awe. Could it be?
"Sir, you've been reported as dead. Surely you want your friends to see that your alright?"
"No. I don't. And I'm not all right. Do I look alright?" mocked House.
The door opened and in came a police officer, followed by a scowling House. He was covered head to toe in blood, except for his hands, which were oddly clean. With every step he took the caked up blood flaked to the ground. He had cuts all over his chest, face and arms, all of which were still bleeding. His hair was tangled, and he had dirt and sweat all over him. And he smelled like a corpse.
She gasped at the shirtless and bloody figure standing so nonchalantly asking to go home when he was covered in injuries.
"Here you go, get him checked out, will you? And he fought hard, mind you, before I could finally get him under control. Found him speeding along on his bike heading towards his apartment. Personally, I wouldn't be so overjoyed that he's back." the cop handed over the still scowling House, who had his arms crossed over his chest like a small child.
He tutted impatiently. "How long is this going to take?" he moaned. " I need to be better by today. Or at least by 4 o'clock tomorrow."
"Er, why?"
"Gotta go pick the kids up from school, you know, can't be late."
The police officer missed the sarcasm. "You're a father." he stated disbelievingly.
"Sure. Whatever you want to think." he said before storming off to his office.
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Chase, Cameron, and Foreman had been grimly sitting in the conference room, not talking. Suddenly, the door slammed and they all heard a familiar thump.
"House!" they all cried in joy, then stopped to look at him. "Oh, House…"
"Why are you here? I thought you wanted to commit suicide?" asked Cameron curiously.
"I changed my mind."
"Why?"
"I had an epiphany."
"About?"
"Dammit, shut-up! I just want to go home! But noooo. The Pig had to drag me here. Something about 'serious injuries'. Psh. Serious, yeah right."
"But all the blood…" Cameron trailed off.
"Please, only a quarter of this blood is actually mine."
"Then who's blood is it?" they asked in alarm.
"I don't know! It was a big, dying animal, and I tried to make it live, but it died, and then the wolves came. Damnwolves. Except the nice three." he rambled.
"Wolves?"
"Yes."
"They didn't attack you?"
"Sorry, but no, they didn't. I'm too skilled for that." he joked.
"Come on, lets get you scanned and bandaged up. Then we can send you home, and by the way, if the wolves didn't attack you, then where did all the cuts come from?" asked Cameron.
"Owls. Damn owls. Hate them. And the trees." he said as they walked out the door.
"Right."
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House got cleaned up and eventually got sent home. Over the course of the next week, House continued to visit his wolves, which he had re-named Iris, Ada, and Lola. They were always more than happy to see him, and he usually spent an hour or so hanging out with them, throwing sticks, bringing food from the cafeteria for them, and just talking and petting them. It was great! Now House lived for the time he spent with his 'daughters'.
But the team could tell something was up. At the cafeteria Cameron noticed that House paid for four steaks, ate one, and put the other three in a baggie. They also noticed things like House's tennis ball looked like it had been chewed a few times, but he had three extra in his drawer with tons of teeth marks all over it. Not dog like teeth marks, powerful teeth marks. They also noticed that he always kept glancing at the clock, and although he as accurate and the same as ever in work, he kept everything ready at his desk to go home with. And as soon as the clock struck 5, he would bolt, and drive off in the complete opposite direction of his apartment. They ultimately decided to follow him.
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House drove off with an extra ball, three steaks, and his work and home things in a bag. He drove the hour long drive to the edge of the forest gates. The forest was supposed to be closed. But he hopped the fence anyways and the team had no choice but to follow him.
They looked at each other uneasily. What was House doing hopping fences? Behind the barrier, they could hear him exclaiming. "Hey Iris! Ada! Lola! What's up girls?" they didn't hear any woman answer though, they just heard him laugh.
Silently, they climbed over the fence. When they dropped down, it seemed like their jaws fell onto the ground. House was playing with three wolves. But, they were like dogs! They ran to fetch the ball, they snuggled up to House while he rubbed their backs and scratched them behind the ears…It was…strange to the Team. But Cameron also thought it was sweet because he looked so happy.
"Aww!" she cooed quietly.
"Shh!" the two men hissed at her. "He'll hear you!"
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House had his back against the tree trunk with Ada, Iris, and Lola snuggled up against him when they all stiffened, their ears pricked, and their teeth bared. House sat up too. "What is it?" he asked quietly. They ran halfway across the field in the direction where the three people stood. House followed them. What were they tracking?
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"Oh. My. God!" squeaked Cameron, as she backed up against the fence. They saw House peering into the distance. They started walking towards them slowly, with House following behind. They paused just in front of the quivering team, and when House rounded the corner, he gasped.
"What are you doing here!" he exclaimed. At the tone of his voice, the three wolves instantly started growling and snarling and advancing upon the team. Then he added to one of them that was getting dangerously close to Chase's leg "Hey, Ada. Back off Chase, alright?" the wolf instantly retreated and guarded the front of House.
"We-We wanted to s-s-see why you've been acting s-strangely l-latel-ly." stuttered Cameron, afraid of the wolves, but awed that House had such control over them.
"I haven't been acting strangely." he said coldly. "Iris, Lola, it would raise awkward questions as to how my employees would be bitten, so could you please follow in the path of your sister, Ada?" the two wolves instantly backed off, and sat down in front of him like a shield. He scratched all their ears.
"Yes you have! Been distracted, shoving three steaks in your bag, well I guess we know where those go. All your balls have teeth marks…And it's all because of your stupid pet wolves!" cried Cameron boldly.
At the last comment, the wolves started growling at Cameron and snapping their jaws at her. "Call them off!" she screeched.
"Well their mad because you called them stupid. I think you need to apologize to them." said House, enjoying himself.
Cameron stiffly said "sorry" to the black wolf, Ada. The grey wolf, Lola. And the white wolf, Iris. Foreman and Chase were laughing at her.
"House, you need to call the animal control." said Foreman.
"No! It's a forest. Wolves live in forests, and other places too. But, unless this is just some very vivid image in my mind, it's a forest. This is their natural habitat, they have the right to be here." he defended.
"But you don't have a right to be here." Chase pointed out.
"What, are you going to turn me in?"
"House! It's a wild animal!"
"It's not like I'm caging them up or anything! I hang out with them for about an hour, and then I leave and they run back into the forest! And it's not like they'll attack anyone who follows me! I told them to stop, and they did. They are very smart."
"House, if you don't stop this on your on I will make you stop." said Cameron.
"Oh yeah? How are you going to do that? Tie me up? Ooo, Cameron! I never thought you'd be so kinky." he snarked.
"No! I'm NOT going to tie you up! I'll call the Fish & Game people and have your little friends executed!" Cameron cried. She didn't actually mean it, but if that's what it took.
The wolves started whining when she said this, and House scratched their ears reassuringly. "You wouldn't."
"Oh yes I would! Good bye snap, crackle, and pop!"
He gave her that cold, calculating stare, searching her for lies. But she had played this one well. And she went undetected.
"All right." he said dejectedly. "You win." he wasn't even being sarcastic, he just talked in this dead voice. But he was putting up a show, he would go anyway.
"And I'll follow you home in my car." she added.
"Really Cameron, that's not necessary." he said, a little too quickly.
"Oh I think it is."
Then Chase broke in. "Can I pet the black one?"
"Ada? Sure. Ada, Chase can pet you, so don't bite him please." he smiled down at Ada, who licked Chase's hand, and squirmed in delight when he scratched her behind the ears.
"Chase, you are not helping!" protested Cameron, but was interrupted by Foreman asking to pet Iris. "Oh for Petes sake!" she cried, but her angry demeanor was getting trampled on by the cute faces of the wolves and her curiosity for the wild animals. She reached out her hand to Lola, but House knocked her hand away.
"What, do you want to pet the thing you threaten to kill?" he snarled.
Cameron bit her lip, but stood by what she said. "I'm sorry House."
"Not sorry enough." he said coldly and walked away down the path, his faithful companions trotting close behind.
"Okay girls, I might not be able to visit you for a while because that evil lady over there is going to kill you if I don't stay away for a bit." they all whined, and he scratched each of their heads and hugged them all. He snapped a picture of them all and hugged them again. "So if I don't come for a few weeks or so that doesn't mean I'm abandoning you. And you can smell me when I come back, right? Okay. Bye guys, love you!" they all whined again. He hugged them one last time before returning to his employees. He didn't speak to Cameron at all, but just watched as they all ran back into the forest. He said to his male employees though; "All right guys, I'm going home now, don't worry about a thing." and before they could say a word he hopped the fence and speed-limped towards his motorcycle. He sped off before any of them appeared over the side of the barrier.
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Over the next few weeks House slowly retreated into some kind of shell inside himself. He was even more miserable than before. And the only time he would speak to Cameron would be to insult her. Whenever she needed to do something he always addressed someone else instead of her, like, "And we should have Cameron do the biopsy." and so forth. Chase and Foreman blamed Cameron for his misery, saying that he had finally been happy. They told Wilson who blamed her too, but was a little bit nicer about it.
Word had gotten out somehow that Cameron had done something to hurt House really badly. She was being whispered about everywhere she went, and hated it. Finally, she snapped.
"Goddamn it House, look at me!" she screeched at him in the conference room, two weeks later.
"Did you hear that? Sounded like…screeching monkeys."
"Argh!" she let out a strangled scream of frustration.
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Ada, Iris, and Lola were sick and tired of waiting for their 'father' to come and see them. So they decided to see him! They walked around the fence until they saw a place where it was broken, and climbed through. Then they began the journey of following House's scent.
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House was sitting in his chair of misery in his office of doom. Suddenly, he heard shrieks and screams and cries of help, and it sounded like mobs of people were trying to run out of the hospital. He looked out of the window and saw that indeed people were running out of the hospital, screaming bloody murder! He stuck his head out of the door curiously, and saw that many others were doing the same. What's going on?
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Ada, Iris, and Lola ran into the clinic. People started shrieking annoyingly. So they tried to get them to calm down by howling at them. They didn't understand. So, shrugging, they followed House's scent to the elevator, where they sat and scratched the doors. When they opened, the wolfs ran inside, and the people, cowering and screaming their heads off, ran out. It was actually quite amusing to the girls, and they all laughed heartily, which for some reason made the people even more scared. They didn't understand it.
The elevator doors opened on the second floor. The people waiting for it shouted "security!" and backed off. They stuck their noses out, didn't catch any familiar scent, and stuck them back in, waiting for the doors to close.
The next level was three. And Wilson walked in, completely unaware that their was anything strange in the elevator, he was so distracted. He pushed House's level, and only when the doors closed did he realize his company. He stayed silent, and, surprisingly, they licked him! He was so shocked, he dropped his file; on Ada's head, who growled. Quivering, Wilson slowly picked it up, and cringed against the wall. The doors opened and Wilson ran out, screaming his head off, and the wolves rushed out. They had smelled House!
They raced along the corridors, dodging people, patients, and security. Finally, they skidded outside of House's door, and scratched and scratched. When he opened it; he was bowled over by the wolves, they started licking him.
"Ew. Get off me, guys." he said, laughing. They backed off, but huddled around him protectively.
Then he realized that everyone in the hallway was staring at him, jaws on the floor. Cameron ran up to him, crying, "I can't believe you brought them here!" Now everyone stared at her.
"I didn't bring them here! They came to me! Now if you'll just let me bring them back…"
"No! They need to be killed! They were snapping at clinic patients!" Cuddy burst in. "You had pet wolves!" she cried hysterically.
"Okay, I'll bring them to the human society." House lied.
"Okay, we'll come with you to make sure you do it."
"Perfect."
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The wolves were in the back seat of Cameron's minivan. Cuddy was in the passenger's seat and House was in the back with his 'daughters'.
"I can't believe you want me to kill my furry daughters." he huffed.
"Furry daughters? Is that what you call them?" the two woman asked incredulously, who were starting to feel a wee bit guilty about going to kill the beautiful creatures.
He didn't reply, just let Ada, Iris, and Lola snuggle up against him, whimpering.
When they reached they road where House would normally turn onto the empty road, towards the forest, he suddenly threw open the car door and jumped out of it, rolling across the ground, his wolves jumped out too, but landed on all fours. "Go on," he whispered to them. "Run away, go. You'll die if you stay here." they each gave him a lingering look of sadness before running away down the road.
He pushed himself up feeling terrible. Cuddy and Cameron carefully walked over to him, studying the morose look on his face.
"Were sorry." they whispered. He nodded.
"You really did love them, didn't you?" asked Cameron. Another nod.
They pulled him up and he let them lead him blindly to the car, where they dropped him off at his apartment.
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It's been a year now since that whole ordeal. House continued to see the wolves once every week on his day off. It let him keep his mind focused on work, and kept his spirits up. He talked to Cameron again; who knew what he was doing, but kept her mouth shut because she realized they would not hurt him, and they made him happy.
Cuddy had been angry when her hospital had suffered that blow, but she had gotten over it quickly.
Wilson has been terrified of wolves ever since.
Chase wished he had a pack of wolves.
Foreman was just glad that his boss was happy so that he would stop taking his misery out on them. But that never took away his sarcasm and twisted humor. But the load was lightened a little bit.
Ada, Iris, and Lola had grown to know House as their pack leader, and admired him greatly. They were disappointed that he refused to go hunting with them, but then they realized they would probably be too noisy anyway. They each met a guy wolf and had pups. Now the pack was even bigger! House had told Cameron about the pups, and Cameron had cooed and asked for a few pics.
Everything turned out okay in the end.
The End
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? - Wow. This is just a really crazy and very, very, very unrealistic oneshot I wrote because I was bored. I hope you like it, I don't really like it that much, and if you could read it to the end you are awesome.
Thanks!
PaigeILGH
P.s. - Yay! This is 11 pages long! I am happy!