Hi everybody, so this is my first time writing fan fiction for FSOG. I enjoy reading the works of the many incredibly talented writers on here, so much so that I felt in spired to write my own version of Ana and Christian's story. Normally the story is told in first person but truthfully, I'm a better third person writer so forgive me for the change in writing tactics. Additionally in this story Ana and her mom have a very good relationship, which isn't canon, so humor me. I always think Ana would have a healthier self-esteem if she and her mom were on good terms, where the maternal nurturing was still present. Also, Carla isn't married to Bob. After husband #3 she'd never remarried.

This story will tackle a lot of controversial topics, in which I will be sure to put trigger warning before I write about such subjects. Anyways, I'm excited about the journey I'm about to embark on. Hopefully, you'll come along with me.

Please let me know what you think of the story.

Until next time,

Kai

What have she gotten herself into? She couldn't believe that she was so blinded by love, no… lust that she allowed someone to strip her of her agency. It'd gotten to the point where she no longer saw herself as an individual but as an extension of him, and it made her sick to her stomach. Granted, she might not be someone who was extremely extroverted but she had her own individuality that she liked, things about herself she was proud of. Like the fact she graduated magna cum laude from the Washington State University with a BA in English Literature. She was a proud bibliophile, spending many of her days with her nose stuck between the pages of new and old books. To her, reading transformed her into another stratosphere and into another time. It was an opportunity for her to lose herself and live out her wildest fantasies without consequences.

But, boy… no romance fictional literature prepared her for the human rollercoaster that was Christian Grey. He was out of this world, literally… He had the charm and mannerism of a prince and cunningness of a fox with a truckload of sex appeal. His presence was authoritative and dominant, which most times left her breathless and unable to function fully. He affected her greatly, sometimes to the point of madness. Ever since she encountered him at his office over at Grey Enterprise Holdings Inc. (GEH), he'd completely domineered her. He'd brought out a side of her she didn't know existed. He was the first guy that she ever felt so strongly for, the first guy to have sex with and the first guy to say 'I love you' to. And out of the three, she regretted doing the last. She regretted opening her mouth, giving him a part of herself that she knew that she would never get back, and it hurt when he didn't reciprocate it. But she was foolish, blinded by love, or was it lust? Either way, it was now too late to take it back. It didn't matter though because she'd close that chapter of her life. She was moving on and all of her focus will be on doing so. She was doing what was best for her…

It was now two weeks since she'd vehemently told him 'I wish I'd never met you'. The look of horror on his face almost done her in but she stood resolute in her decision. The combination of Christian's lack luster approach to build a committed relationship and his "lifestyle" prevented her from caving. She couldn't put up with him anymore, as she found the relationship to be very one sided where she gave of herself freely while he held back key, crucial parts of himself. Then it dawned on her that he didn't love her as much as she loved him. Get out while you can, was what her intuition screamed when she received the epiphany. She had to leave him before she'd become too dependent and her eccentricity was permanently erased.

For the past two months he treated her like a toy that he could play with while he was bored, horny or lonely. Emotionally he did less than bare minimum but yet she fell for him. She was stupid enough to believe that she could change him. Or was it he would change for her? Neither happened but she did fell for him. How could she not? Deep down inside she saw the true him, but the question was would he? Did he see the loving man beneath the cold surface of his expensive suit? And will that part of him be accessible to her? These questions swirled her mind constantly, in which she unfortunately didn't have the answers for.

On a rainy Friday night fourteen days ago, she'd bought herself a one-way plane ticket to Savannah Georgia, where her mother lived after she'd divorced her third husband. Ten years ago was a horrible time for both of them as husband number three was very emotionally and verbally abusive. Luckily, their relationship strengthened during that time and whenever she needed a word of advice or encouragement she was able to call or go home to her mother, Carla Adams. Her mother taught her to be fiercely independent and to stand up for herself. Secretly, she knew her mother didn't want her in the same shoes as her so she ensured to encourage her to be more than the extension of a man. Being with Christian had her conjuring memory of that awful time her mother and her endured, and she would be lying if she said that fear didn't grip her heart in a mild panic. Christian may've never verbally or emotionally abused her but their situation was a breathing ground for that to happen. A man who wouldn't open up to you even after you've done so was never a good sign. She heeded the warnings.

However, peace wasn't reigning while she was in Savannah. For the first couple of days Ana was a ball of anxiety, looking over her shoulders, worried that Christian would send one of his minions to accost her but no such thing happened. She didn't know why it bothered her that it didn't but it did. After all this was what she wanted? Damn you, Christian! Even when broken up he was still affecting her deeply.

It was now after nine, Ana had eaten dinner with her mom, well as much as she could eat without throwing up. For the past several days she'd been out of sorts, feeling extremely nauseous most of the day, and it wasn't until her mother pointed out that she might be pregnant that she realized that was a very real possibility. At first she was terrified of the thought of being pregnant with Christian's baby, while a very tiny, miniscule part of her was happy of the possibility. She didn't know what to do if she was indeed pregnant. Would she tell him? Would she keep the baby? So many questions she didn't know have answers for…

Tonight was the night that she was bold enough to find out her reality. After taking out the pregnancy kits that she'd bought two days ago and followed the instructions, she covered the sticks to conceal the results while she took up residence in front of the oval shaped bathroom mirror in her mother's Victorian style home.

She stared at her sun kissed face in the mirror, the Savannah sun had already began to give her a beautiful tan – her hair was piled high in a messy bun and her limbs bared in a minty green slinky silk number she was wearing to bed; she studied her reflection for several minutes until the timer on her phone signaled that the time was up. Her gaze turned more penetrative as though she was looking into her soul for courage. Subconsciously she began whispering, "you' can do this Ana. You're strong and courageous. No matter the outcome you'll be alright." Feeling a little more confident, she slowly removed the paper towel, uncovering the two pregnancy sticks.

"Shit!" she exclaimed, staring at the positive results.

Review please…