Author's Note: My first story on so bring on the concrit, but easy with the flames, please. And please review, because I'll feel better knowing someone actually read this, whether you liked it or thought it was terrible.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-gi-oh or any of it's characters. If I did, why would I be writing on a fanfiction site?

After:

Gone. He's really gone. I never really thought this day would come. It's not like I wasn't warned; I knew it was coming to this. He'd talked about, we'd talked about, everyone'd talked about it. Everything had been moving toward this, culminating to this point. Some climax. It felt like a letdown, like the ground under my feet suddenly gave way. I never thought he'd actually leave. Well, I guess I thought it in my mind, but I never accepted it in my heart. Maybe it was blind delusion, just fooling myself, or whatever. Or maybe it was just that I couldn't picture him being gone, couldn't begin to imagine what our lives would be like without him. What my life would be without him.

This is hard. I have to choke back the tears every now and then, resist the urge to wail out "Why?" I know why. He had to move on. This is the way it had to be. This is what he wanted. I keep telling myself that. It's all for the best. But I don't believe it yet. And I feel miserable. I wish here was here with us, with me, so badly, and yet I hate myself for wishing it. Would I keep him here, against his will, prevent him from passing on to where he's meant to be? Are you really that selfish, Tea? That focused so much on your own wants, your own wishes? These are the words I lash myself with when the lonely, if-only, wishing gets too great. All it seems to do is add sting to the ache.

Caught up in this struggle of my emotions, it's so hard to face the others. I plaster on the cheery smile I know they expect to see and I fake my way through a bright and cheerful day. Every once in a while, they'll flash me a worried glance, but I ignore it. I don't want to worry anyone, make anyone feel any worse than they already do. I'll be okay. I'll manage. We're all struggling here, especially Yugi.

Yugi. I'm worried about him. He's so quiet now, even more so than usual. He barely talks at all, and he never starts a conversation, just responds to what you say. His eyes are red, sometimes, when he comes to school in the morning, and so often they drift away, and I know his heart's not with us anymore. He must be so lonely now, completely alone. I don't want to hurt him, give him anymore pain.

So, I keep it all inside, locked away. Everything I feel—and never said. All the times I said our friendship would last forever—and never said that what I felt was so much more than friendship. All those times I followed behind, opened my mouth—and bit my tongue. All the times that I let my chance slip by, and never let my true feelings show. Because I was afraid.

I can see it now; I was afraid. Afraid of changing everything, afraid of loving someone I didn't, couldn't, understand. Afraid that he didn't feel the same way, afraid it wouldn't matter.

And maybe I was right—it probably wouldn't. I have to be honest with myself: If I had told him how I really felt, would it have really changed his mind? I can only answer no. He would have left anyway, as surely as the sun sets at night. All it would have done is made it harder for him to leave. It would have made him feel guilty, feel bad about causing me pain, a bitter parting thought to trouble him in the afterlife. And he doesn't deserve that. He deserves to enjoy his reward, rest in peace, finally where he belongs, untroubled by guilt over a stupid schoolgirl's crush.

So, no, I shouldn't have any regrets. I should just look back and cherish the time we did have. And I try. But it's hard. I miss him so much, his strength, his courage, his heart. It's like there's this empty place in my heart that will never be filled, like a piece of our circle is missing, incomplete. I guess it'll be like that forever. I mean, there's no one who could take his place, no one that's like him.

Or is there?

I walked to school with Yugi the other day. We didn't talk much, just walked along silently. He seemed to be lost in his own thoughts and soon I was in mine. It was nice though, to walk with him. We hadn't done that in a while. It was comforting, in a way, just to be with him, knowing we're both thinking of the same thing, feeling the same grief.

As we had almost the reached the school, Yugi looked up at me. "Thank you, Tea." He said softly. Our eyes met. They were soft, delicate, full of the sorrow and loneliness that haunted my own, yet holding pity and sympathy for me, which touched me to my heart. But more than that, I saw strength. I saw courage. And I saw something else, something I couldn't name or put a finger on, but that stirred my soul. And just for a moment, it felt like a circle completed.